


Carousel of Life

by komorebirei, mireille (komorebirei)



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Accidental Love, Adrienette Ship Month Prompts, Drama, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hot Mess Adrien Agreste, IDENTITY SHENANIGANS, Identity Reveal, Identity Suspicions, Kisses, Light Angst, Marichat moments, Oops More Angst Than Intended, Slow Burn, Slow Reveal, Sunrise Reveal, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, adrienette - Freeform, but it's still fluffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2020-03-12
Packaged: 2020-10-12 08:53:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 90,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20561603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/komorebirei/pseuds/komorebirei, https://archiveofourown.org/users/komorebirei/pseuds/mireille
Summary: A series of clues leads Adrien to suspect that Marinette might be Ladybug. But what does he do with that hunch? Juggling insatiable curiosity with respect for his partner's wishes, Adrien faces consequences that he hadn't bargained for.





	1. Just Friends

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Carousel of Life](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/517952) by Mireille Tanaka. 

> Well! I finally caved—posting this on AO3. It's been out since April as an audio series on YouTube. I'm not doing much editing.
> 
> [Listen to the Audio Series](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLInlTrZshMS2qA8L7x3rcUue_TMQgXxKy)
> 
> Find me on Tumblr: mireilletan.tumblr.com

“...This is a joke, right?”

“Nope, sorry dude.”

Adrien buried his face in his palm. “I have one day? There’s no one else who can do this?”

“Everyone wants you, model boy. You’re not gonna leave us hanging, are you?”

“Nino...” Adrien groaned. “Being a model doesn’t make me an actor, you know?”

“Dude, you voiced Cat Noir in the animated film, so don’t try to deny that you can voice act. And you have stage presence. Put it all together and _bam!_ We've got ourselves an actor.”

“I was reading off a  _ script. _ How am I supposed to memorize all these lines in  _ one day? _ ”

Nino clapped a hand on his shoulder. “If anyone can pull it off, it’s you, dude!”

“... Fine.” Adrien reluctantly accepted the stapled packet from Nino—the script for the school play that would make its debut in just over twenty-four hours.

“Thanks bro, you’re the best! Mr. Bordier’s gonna be happy about this.” Mr. Bordier was the director of the theater program, and as his Student Assistant Director (read: glorified gopher), Nino had been tasked with getting Adrien on-board with this last minute change.

“Seriously, though… one day?”

“Hey, not my fault both leads got sick and lost their voices last minute.”

Adrien flipped through the packet, feeling stressed out. But he’d feel guilty to reject only to heap this trouble on some other unfortunate soul.

“Don’t worry, dude. It’s not actually that many lines. And Marinette’s the understudy for the female lead. Why don’t you ask her for help?” Nino gave him a wolfish grin.

“They didn’t cast an understudy for the _male_ lead?” Adrien grumbled. He usually prided himself on doing things right and well, especially when it came to presenting himself to the public. And if he ended up making a fool of himself onstage, it would only give his father ammunition to take him out of public school.

“Well, Marinette was a special case, actually,” Nino explained. “When she auditioned, she was hoping to make it into the ensemble so she’d still have time to do costumes, but she did amazing and landed the lead role. She rejected of course—she really wanted to do costumes. You know how Marinette is about fashion. But Mr. Bordier managed to convince her to understudy, at least.”

“Oh,” Adrien said, feeling a little guilty that he hadn’t known about Marinette’s involvement with the play. But his busy schedule meant he was often left out of the loop.

“Anyway, the point is, she knows what the director wants and all the stage directions. She can fill you in before the final dress rehearsal tomorrow.”

Adrien cringed at the reminder that his first rehearsal would be the  _ final  _ one.

Talk about bad luck.

“Well my dude, break a leg,” Nino said ironically, with a two-fingered salute and a wink. “The third act’s gonna be … interesting.” He chuckled and left Adrien in the courtyard, blinking at the thick packet in his hand.

There was a solid half hour before afternoon classes resumed. Adrien sank into a bench and started to read through the script. Thankfully, Nino was right—the main bulk of the acts consisted of musical numbers, and there was a sizable cast with a variety of scenes, so he didn’t have that many spoken lines. He’d just have to do some acting while the dances were carried out in the background. His head was spinning. He’d probably have to do a lot of improv, because there was no way he’d be able to memorize the lines  _ and _ the blocking by tomorrow night. He groaned. The standards for a high school play weren’t that high, right?

When he got to the third act, he understood Nino’s sly expression when he had mentioned Marinette. Of course there was a kiss. Why did there always have to be a kiss? He rolled his eyes, thinking of Nino, but took it in stride. He could be a professional about this.

Heaving a sigh, he set the script aside and pulled out his phone. Thankfully, he didn’t have any lessons or modeling gigs between now and opening night. He could already see his immediate future: little to no sleep, a grueling school day, and more coffee than a fifteen year old should be drinking. He just hoped there wouldn’t be an akuma to top it all off.

Finding Marinette in his contact list, Adrien shot off a message. 

_ Hey, do you have any plans for tonight? _

_ — _

The next twenty-four hours passed by in a blur. After pulling an all-nighter with Marinette to run the entire play four times and go over the blocking, Adrien was running on pure adrenaline, boosted with caffeine. It probably wasn’t the ideal way to go into a performance, but he didn’t have much of a choice.

Adrien tried his best to get his mind in-character, so any time he forgot exactly what he was supposed to be doing, he could improv well enough that the audience wouldn’t suspect. He hoped he’d done a passable job, anyway. He was thankful that learning Chinese had sharpened his memorization skills, so the lines were manageable.

When they got to the kiss scene, he felt surprisingly calm and prepared. He and Marinette had breezed through it with air kisses during their practice session. She had seemed to get more and more flustered as they approached the scene the first time around, and especially since they were alone in Adrien’s room, he didn’t want to make it any more awkward than it had to be. Adrien figured it should be fine to leave the real deal for opening night. What could go wrong with a kiss?

At least, he was glad he was doing this with Marinette, someone he felt comfortable with. Not to mention, she was cute and had good hygiene. It could be worse. It could have been Lila.

As he moved toward her, hot stage lights making his costume feel stuffy, Adrien took a moment to admire her acting skills. She was biting her lip with the slightly apprehensive anticipation he’d expect from someone who was about to be kissed. Not that he’d know from personal experience, but he’d seen a lot of movies. The blush complemented her expression and—yeah, he had to admit it. She looked pretty cute. Props to the makeup artist.

He put a hand lightly on her waist as they met at center stage, making sure to give the audience a flattering angle. With his other hand, he gently nudged her jaw upward and met her lips. They were surprisingly soft, and the fragrance of her perfume mingled with the chalky scent of stage makeup.

It was the dramatic ending scene, where the two characters who had been separated by trials were finally reunited and declared their love for one another. A chaste little peck wouldn’t fit the mood—they’d have to hold it a little longer. He thought about Ladybug to conjure up some passion to put into his acting. The picture of the kiss from the Oblivio fight that Alya had posted on the Ladyblog flashed into his mind. If only he could remember that happening. He parted his lips slightly to make the kiss more realistic and stroked her cheek with his thumb, trying to portray tenderness without making her feel uncomfortable. It was a delicate line. The skin of her cheek felt warm—she probably felt as overheated as he did. Because of the stage lights, of course.

The unexpected feeling of her fingers in his hair sent a shiver down his spine.

And as they pulled away, faces mere inches apart, he accidentally caught her eyes—bluebell irises, bright and deep, glimmering as they caught the stage lights, and looking up at him in wonder.

His heart jolted. Adrien caught his breath, reminding himself he was on stage, and fumbled the next line. Which, thankfully, was in-character.

But... whoa. Why did he have  _ that _ reaction? This was just an act.

Maybe he’d taken “thinking about Ladybug” too far and projected her onto Marinette. Maybe her blue eyes had reminded him of Ladybug. But it didn’t mean anything. He and Marinette were just friends, after all. There was no reason for her to get that kind of reaction out of him.

But, that look she’d given him? Adrien had to hand it to Marinette. The emotion in her eyes looked so genuine. Then again, he shouldn’t be surprised—she continued to impress him with all her hidden talents. He made a mental note to give her a big congratulations later. Maybe even with flowers. She’d done a stellar job handling the pressure, not to mention all the effort she’d put into helping Adrien get up to speed. Yup, he’d better throw in some chocolates with those flowers.

All in all, they’d made a pretty great duo. And judging by the standing ovation, the audience agreed.

—

Later, lying in bed after a shower, the forty consecutive hours of being awake hit Adrien like a pile of bricks. His brain went into dream state before his body had even properly fallen asleep. He felt the ghost of soft lips on his own, and the sensation that he was falling made him jerk awake, grasping at the air for something to hold onto. Bluebell irises flashed in his mind—the last thing he’d seen before falling.

He smacked his forehead with his hand, rolling over onto his side. “She’s just a friend,” he muttered to himself. For some reason, he couldn’t get that kiss out of his head. It was surely a result of sleep deprivation. Or maybe he’d been pining after Ladybug for too long and it was driving him crazy. He was a normal teenage guy. It was only natural to get hung up on a kiss, right? Even if it was fake.

It was his first kiss, after all. Well, the first one he remembered. He’d been kissed twice before, but he only knew that from photographs. There was the kiss Ladybug had given him to break Dark Cupid’s curse, and the one from the fight with Oblivio that he was still dying to know the story behind. A low groan escaped Adrien’s throat as he was reminded that the love of his life had kissed him  _ twice  _ and he had absolutely no memory of either time. He could almost cry.

Yeah. His heart belonged to Ladybug. He definitely didn’t think of Marinette that way. Curling the pillow around his head, as if to stop unwanted thoughts from entering his brain, he succumbed to the black hole of a much-needed sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I know it's improbable for someone to _actually_ be able to act in a play with less than twenty-four hours to learn the part. To be honest, what happened was, it was about to be April and I learned about the Adrienette prompts and got super excited, so I jumped on board, all hyper and eager to just create a fun scenario, releasing one video a day of the audio narration. That's kind of a crazy pace, meaning I didn't think too much and did barely any editing. Somewhere along the road, my brain caught up. :P
> 
> Anyway, hope you guys like the series.


	2. Seat Buddies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette can't believe she kissed Adrien Agreste. Alya and Nino ditch Adrien and Marinette at the amusement park.

“Where do we even start?” Marinette spun around excitedly as she, Alya, Nino, and Adrien walked through the gates of the amusement park, taking in the brightly colored rides that towered over them in a jungle of iron. “I’m so excited!”

“I’ve never been on a roller coaster,” Adrien admitted quietly, sporting a childlike grin as he looked around in amazement.

Alya slipped her phone into her back pocket and unfolded the park map.

Nino leaned over her shoulder. “Ooh! OOH!! We _ have _ to do the Daredevil’s Thrill. There’s a five-hundred-foot drop!” He jabbed his finger at one of the rides on the map. “C’mon, I heard it was awesome!”

“Don’t you think we should start Sunshine off slow?” Alya raised an eyebrow, giving Adrien a sidelong glance.

“I can handle it,” Adrien said with a smirk.

Marinette gave him a wary look. It did seem a bit ambitious. “Why don’t we start with the Shell Shocker? It looks fun, too.”

“Fiiine, let’s go,” Nino said reluctantly, draping an arm over Alya’s shoulders and turning them in the direction of the more moderately-sized ride.

Marinette grinned at Adrien. She still couldn’t get over the fact that she had _ actually _ kissed him last Friday. Yeah, it had been for a play, and she was no closer in communicating her true feelings to him—for him it surely didn’t mean anything—but that didn’t negate the fact that it had _ happened, _and it had been an absolute dream. Her head was still in the clouds over it.

And now she was spending the day at an amusement park with him! Almost like a double date.

A tiny part of Marinette’s brain told her that thinking like this was kind of pathetic. Definitely unhealthy. Verging on lying to herself. But she chose to enjoy what she could get. And at least, as long as he was near her, there was reason to hope for the future.

Adrien’s reciprocating smile was a little lopsided. “Shall we, then?” He jabbed his thumb at Alya and Nino’s receding backs.

“Sure, I’ll race you!” Marinette said gleefully, the words escaping her before she could think. She internally winced as she imagined Adrien judging her childish behavior and refusing to partake in such shenanigans. Yet to her delight, he let out a laugh and took off.

“Last one there’s a piece of camembert!”

“Hey, cheater!” Marinette giggled and sprang after him a split second later, taking pleasure in the way Alya and Nino’s heads whipped around in surprise as they passed them in a flurry.

At the final stretch, Marinette broke into a sprint, arms and legs flying, and managed to pass Adrien. He was clutching his stomach, breathless with laughter, which is probably what slowed him down because she was certain he was in better shape than she was. The guard rail of the queue area let out a clang as she crash-landed against it, panting, her cheeks sore from smiling.

“You’re fast,” Adrien gasped, collapsing on the rail beside her.

Marinette peeked at him from under her bangs, marveling at the pink flush of exertion that had blossomed on his cheeks. “And you’re stinky cheese.”

Adrien laughed harder than Marinette expected, wiping tears from his eyes.

“Let’s get a head start in line,” Marinette suggested. “Alya and Nino’ll thank us for it.” 

They queued up, waiting for their friends, but after ten minutes, Alya and Nino still hadn’t appeared, and weren’t answering phone calls.

“The walk doesn’t take that long,” Marinette remarked, scanning the crowd for Nino’s trademark red hat. The weather was nice, so the amusement park was packed. “Did they get lost?”

“No way,” Adrien said under his breath. The ride was a beeline from where they’d been standing. “Maybe they ditched us?”

“That… wouldn’t be surprising, actually.” Marinette wouldn’t put it past Alya to intentionally leave her alone with Adrien, knowing how she felt about him. It was a perfect opportunity, if unplanned. She hoped Adrien wouldn’t catch on to it.

He leaned against the rail, naturally assuming a very model-like pose that made Marinette avert her eyes to avoid staring. “They probably just wanted to be alone together. I don’t mind.” He winked at Marinette, as if the two of them were in cahoots, doing Alya and Nino a favor.

It figured that he’d be so oblivious. Which, quite frankly, was a relief. Marinette latched onto his ‘theory,’ nodding vigorously to express her agreement.

The line moved faster than expected, and before Marinette knew it, she was clambering over the side of the roller coaster car, brushing knees with Adrien as they pulled the safety bar down with a series of clicks.

“Ready?” Adrien asked her with a toothy grin, eyes crinkling with excitement.

“I should be asking you, Mr. First Timer.”

“_So _ ready!”

The roller coaster jerked forward and started its slow roll toward the first downhill slope.

“Woohoo, here we go!” Marinette cheered, and Adrien was already laughing beside her.

Marinette _ loved _ roller coasters, and the fact that she now spent a large portion of her days swinging through the air from tall structures hadn’t spoiled them for her. All the slopes had her laughing from her belly in exhilaration, and the fact that Adrien was laughing right along beside her made her even more giddy.

“Ok, I was seriously missing out in life,” Adrien said as he helped Marinette out of the car at the end of the ride.

“Which one’s next?”

“I was actually thinking of getting some ice cream.” Adrien pointed out a parlor nearby. “_Ice cream_ed so much my throat’s raw.” He winked.

Marinette giggled. Adrien? Making puns? “You did _ not _ just say that.”

A few minutes later, they were seated at a table under an umbrella, eating ice cream with tiny spoons—black cherry for Adrien, pistachio for Marinette.

“Marinette, I just realized something,” Adrien said abruptly.

“What?”

“Did we get roped into a date?”

“D-date?” Marinette’s face went aflame. So the possibility hadn’t gone unnoticed. “N-no, of course not, we’re just hanging out, right? As friends! I mean unless you want it to be a date… do you? I mean—never mind! Forget I said anything—”

Adrien cracked up. “Relax, Marinette. I was joking. Anyway, I don’t mind being on a friend-date with you.”

How was he always so smooth? “Oh, okay… good,” she replied, her heart sinking at the word ‘friend.’ Not that she hadn't expected it.

“So, about that kiss…”

Wait, what? He was bringing up the kiss? Now? Why? Heat rose in Marinette’s cheeks again, and she noted that Adrien looked a little pink too. Maybe it was just the midday sun. “What about it?” Marinette asked, trying to sound casual.

“I hope it didn’t, uh… make things awkward between us. I was totally cool with it. Just to let you know.”

“R-right, I was, uh… cool with it too!” Marinette’s voice came out a little too high-pitched. She cringed.

“Ok. Cool. Just wanted to get that out there.”

“Yeah—don’t worry! Everything’s… _cool_ between us.” She winked over her bowl of ice cream, internally cursing herself for letting Chat Noir’s version of flirting rub off on her. This was terrible. Why did she think she could be alone with Adrien without turning stupid?

(The weird thing was, he was actually beside himself with laughter. Interesting discovery of the day: Adrien liked dad jokes. And the pun seemed to dissipate the awkwardness of the situation. Maybe the cat was on to something after all.)

Adrien had calmed down, and Marinette took another bite of ice cream, feeling self-conscious. She was finally in a date-like situation with Adrien, and she had no idea what to say. What if he found her boring and never wanted to spend time with her again?

“Hey, you wanna hear something funny?”

The tone of his voice brought Marinette’s mental freakout to a halt. Contrary to his words, it sounded like his thoughts were far from anything humorous. “What’s that?” Marinette asked softly, putting down her spoon.

Adrien was swirling his ice cream around with his spoon, wearing a faraway expression.

“That was my third kiss that didn’t count… if you know what I mean. I’ve never been kissed for real. Kinda sad.” His eyes widened as he seemed to realize how he sounded, and a flush spread across his cheeks. “N-not that I’m some casanova or anything! Not that I think I _ should _ have gotten kissed by now!—it’s just—_three _kisses that don’t count, y’know? … Never mind. I’m digging myself a hole here.”

It was cute and funny to see _ him _flustered for once, yet the thought of Adrien kissing other people made Marinette’s stomach turn in knots. Marinette lay a hand on his shoulder, forcing a smile. “It’s okay, Adrien,” she said reassuringly, and saw him relax.

_ If you know what I mean, _ he’d said. _ Did _ she know what he meant? Maybe the previous two kisses were for modeling shoots? She didn’t remember any ads featuring him kissing anyone, but it was possible. She felt a hint of jealousy at the thought of him getting intimate with other pretty models, but if she wanted to date him she’d have to accept potential on-camera kisses as a reality of his profession. At least he didn’t count them as real.

Then again, she had no right to feel upset. She had kissed people before, herself. And by people, she meant Chat Noir. Of all people. The thought made her feel guilty. She _ didn’t _like Chat Noir that way. And the kiss during Oblivio had been completely unfair. She hadn’t had any memories! She couldn’t be held responsible for whatever had gone through her amnesiac brain. Yet, she’d lost her first kiss, which she’d wanted to save for Adrien, and there was no getting it back.

As she thought about it, she suddenly realized that Adrien’s statement was eerily true for her, too. She’d kissed Chat Noir twice. The play had been the third. Three kisses.

“Wanna hear something weird?” Marinette said tentatively, a little hesitant to mention previous kisses to her crush. But it was too much of a coincidence not to say anything.

“What?” Adrien looked at her expectantly.

“I’m in the same boat.”

“As in… you’ve never been kissed?”

Marinette shook her head and blushed. “Not for real… and that was my third that didn’t count.”

“Really?” 

She giggled nervously. “Yeah. I mean what are the chances, right?”

Adrien didn’t laugh but gave her a scrutinizing look, before his face broke into a bemused smile. “Pretty crazy thing to have in common.”

Marinette’s ringtone chimed, and she was grateful for an escape from the awkward topic. “Hey, Alya.”

“Hey girl, sorry we ditched you back there. Nino got distracted by funnel cake then you guys were too far ahead in the line so we figured we’d just sit that one out.”

“Right… I’m _ sure _you didn’t do that on purpose.”

“Of course not!” Marinette could hear the exaggerated wink in Alya’s voice. “Anyway, how was Adrien’s initiation? You guys ready for Daredevil?”

“You didn’t go on it yet?”

“Without you guys? Pssh, girl, who do you think we are?”

Alya’s voice projected from the phone earpiece despite speakerphone being turned off, so Adrien heard everything. He looked excited about the ride and flashed Marinette a thumbs up. She grinned in response.

“Where should we meet you?”

“We’re by the tower drop.”

“Be there in five.”

Marinette and Adrien drank the last of their ice creams, which had turned to milk while they talked, and made their way to the meeting place.

The rest of the day was a priceless time spent between friends. It was Adrien’s first amusement park experience, and Marinette couldn’t be happier than to witness his reactions, filing all his adorable facial expressions into her mental photo album of treasures. (And of course, she couldn’t help but snap a few real shots on her phone, too.)

Adrien even gave her a plush black cat phone strap that he’d won at a carnival game, saying he thought she’d like it since she had other cat stuff in her room. A little surprised and delighted that he remembered, she immediately attached the trinket to her phone.

Marinette decided the day had been even better than the kiss. It might have been a friend date, but it was _real._ Marinette felt they’d grown closer over the course of the day, and she couldn’t ask for more at the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A penny for your thoughts? ^_^
> 
> Did anyone catch the music pun? Anyone?? :D
> 
> I really enjoy making puns... part of why I love this fandom. :P


	3. Embarrassing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nino discovers something very interesting on Adrien's phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some good-natured shenanigans. This one's kind of fun to [listen to](https://youtu.be/RZgJSVpQ5T4).

“Dude. This is a _ lot _of photos.”

Adrien’s ears perked up, the words raising serious red flags. He immediately abandoned the report he was typing up to pounce on Nino in a panic, scrambling to get his phone back. He should have _ never _given it to him to take photos of their science project. He should have thought. Period.

Alya was after Nino too, but for a very different reason.

“Give it back, Nino!” Adrien howled.

“Too late, bro, I saw it all,” Nino said with a smirk.

“Nino!”

Alya snatched the phone from Nino’s hands. It was still unlocked, with his gallery of photos in full view. Alya scrolled through hundreds of pictures of Ladybug. “Adrien, is there something you’re not telling us?” 

“Alya! This is an invasion of privacy!” Adrien lunged at her, and she reluctantly handed back the phone.

“Don’t tell me you have a crush on Paris’ sweetheart, poster boy?”

“I do not!” Adrien cried, his face burning. “I-I just find her inspiring! I was looking for a good wallpaper photo and forgot to delete all the ones I didn’t pick!”

Alya raised an eyebrow. “Oooh, so you set her as your _ wallpaper, _ too? This is juicy.”

“Well, you started a whole blog about her!” Adrien retorted. “Don’t tell me you don’t think she’s cool enough to use as a wallpaper!”

“Okay, you got me,” Alya conceded, but she didn’t sound like she was backing down. “So tell me, why are you blushing?”

“I am _ not _blushing,” Adrien protested feebly, turning away to hide his face and shoving his phone into his pocket. “Can we just go back to the project?”

“Dude, it’s okay. Everyone loves Ladybug,” Nino reassured Adrien. “We’re not judging you.”

“Ok, let’s just stop talking about this please,” Adrien mumbled, plopping himself resolutely into the computer chair and shoving his face into a scribbled page of notes, trying to remember where he was in transcribing. They were at the computer lab putting together a report and presentation about a terrarium project. “Use your own phone to take the rest of the photos.”

“Hey, don’t be salty,” Alya said playfully.

“I thought you guys were my friends, but you betrayed me,” Adrien sulked. “I feel violated. Humiliated.”

“That’s proof that the photos meant something to you,” Alya pointed out with a smirk. Yet, there was a hardness in her eyes that said she wasn’t only teasing him.

Adrien should just stop talking.

Thoroughly embarrassed, he pretended to ignore his friends and started hammering away at the keyboard.

Before long, Adrien realized it was strangely quiet. He turned to see what was going on, only to catch Alya and Nino breaking apart. They’d clearly been whispering.

“What?” Adrien demanded, furrowing his brow.

“Dude, we love you, but can we talk to you about something? Because we care about you.”

This wasn’t normal. Something was up.

“Sure?” Adrien said, feeling uneasy. He jiggled his leg, waiting for whatever Nino and Alya had to say. His two friends rolled their seats over, facing him with matching serious expressions.

“Just to reemphasize—we are _ not _ judging you,” Alya cut in, “But admit it. You’re crushing on Ladybug.” She wasn’t teasing this time.

“How could I?” Adrien said weakly, forcing himself to meet Alya’s eyes. “I don’t even know her personally.” Of course, he did, but he couldn’t say that. All the more reason why this confrontation was like a nightmare come true. It didn’t make sense at _ all _for his civilian identity to be head over heels in love with Ladybug. Even the fact that his friends kept reassuring him of their lack of judgment showed how weird they thought it was.

“But you _want_ to know her,” Alya pressed.

“No! I mean, not that I _ don’t _want to. She’s amazing—everyone knows that…” Adrien gulped as Alya stared him down, arms crossed, saying nothing. “Ok, fine! Fine. You got me.” Blushing furiously, he looked down at his hands. “So what?”

Alya uncrossed her arms, her demeanor softening. “Don’t you think it’s a bit unhealthy?”

“Why?” Adrien asked, still stubbornly looking at his hands, refusing to meet Alya’s eyes. He wanted to die of embarrassment. He was glad there was no one else in the computer lab. Was this really happening? An intervention about his crush on Ladybug? 

“She’s a _ superhero _ with a secret identity_. _ How could you date her? You’re basically setting yourself up for heartbreak, Agreste.”

Alya’s words cut deep.

“Plus, if she’s where you set your standard for eligible girls, who else could _ ever _qualify?”

“It’s not like that, Alya,” Adrien protested. It’s not like he fell for Ladybug because she was perfect or anything. Well—she was perfect, but not in the unattainable way Alya was implying. Even her flaws were perfect to Adrien. Everything about her that he pieced together in the little glimpses he was given, he loved.

“Not like what? I’m right, aren’t I? Ladybug’s an unrealistic standard.”

Adrien said nothing. He didn’t expect Alya to understand, and there was no way he could defend himself without revealing his identity. There was just… no point in having this conversation, where seeing eye to eye was not even a possibility. He could feel Alya’s eyes burning holes in him and wished he could just disappear into the floor.

“Bro, we’re not judging you,” Nino chimed in. “We just want you to be happy, and _ Ladybug’s_… kind of a reach, you know?”

“I don’t choose who I love,” Adrien mumbled, kicking at the chair legs.

“Oh—_love, _ is it, now?” When Adrien didn’t reply, Alya continued, “Did it really have to be a certain dark haired, red-suited girl?”

“What?” The new voice made Adrien turn, to find a puzzled Marinette taking in the scene before her. She’d probably caught the tail end of the conversation and realized they were not talking about their science project. “Sorry I’m late,” she apologized, putting down a bag full of art supplies. “I brought a few things for the presentation board.”

Relief at the diversion overpowered any embarrassment Adrien might have felt about her potentially knowing how he felt about Ladybug. “Marinette!” He shot out of his chair and hooked an arm around her shoulders. “I was just thinking of taking a break—wanna see the pictures from my latest photoshoot? You know, since you love fashion and all.” He threw Alya and Nino a peace sign as he steered Marinette out the door.

As soon as they made it out the door, and Alya and Nino didn’t follow, Adrien breathed a sigh of relief and removed his arm from Marinette’s shoulders. They continued walking in the general direction of the courtyard. “Whew. You saved me from an _ awkward _situation back there.” 

“What was that all about?” Marinette asked, looking a little bewildered.

“Alya and Nino were giving me an ‘intervention’ about—” Adrien flushed, realizing he had been about to blurt it out. He coughed. “Um, nothing. It was just awkward. Let’s not talk about it.”

“Ooookay…”

She’d probably heard, anyway. Well, if she knew, that was fine. But he wasn’t going to tell her unnecessarily. Alya and Nino knowing was two people too many.

Mercifully, Marinette continued, “I won’t ask, then.”

“You’re amazing, Marinette. Best friend ever.” He winked at her, strangely pleased when it caused a blush to appear on her cheeks.

“Sooo…” she started, seeming to hesitate.

“Yeah?” Adrien fixed his attention on her, hoping to make her feel comfortable enough to say whatever she was about to say.

“You mentioned pictures? I know you just said that as an excuse but I’d love to see them if you really have any!” She blurted out the last part very fast.

Adrien laughed. “Yeah, I do. Actually…” He pulled out an envelope from his bag. “Nathalie gave me the proofs this morning. I don’t need them, so you can just have them.” He offered her the envelope, which she accepted with a dazzling smile that filled Adrien’s chest with warmth.

“Thanks, Adrien! You’re awesome—I mean this is awesome!” She seemed overwhelmingly elated.

Adrien grinned. He’d known Marinette loved fashion, but he didn’t know such a simple gesture could make her so happy. He had tons of proofs at home, collecting dust on his bookshelf. The photographer always gave him copies, many of which had never actually been published. There were even some exclusive outfits that had been photographed but hadn’t actually been released as part of the collection. Maybe she’d appreciate those.

Eventually, they made it back to the computer lab to finish their project. Adrien noticed that Alya and Nino didn’t bring up Ladybug when Marinette was around, so he made a point to stick around her for the rest of the day, and even the next, until it seemed like they were off his back.

And the more he shared small moments with her, the more he realized how grateful he was for Marinette’s friendship—something that he found himself being reminded of again and again lately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for the kudos and bookmarks! Hope you guys liked this chapter. Let me know what you thought.


	4. Hide Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette gets into a pinch at a school field day.

Marinette wiped sweat from her brow, leg muscles buzzing as she rounded the field to join the gaggle of students who had finished the hundred-meter dash. Her entire grade was having a field day at a park on the outskirts of Paris, and they were doing physical training before moving on to outdoorsy-related activities like orienteering and identifying plants.

Having her phone in her pocket was annoying whenever she had to run, but Marinette was glad she’d kept it with her. The subtle notification sound she’d set for akuma alerts beeped as she was standing on one foot to tip a rock out of her shoe—hardly noticeable, but her ears were trained to listen for it. Stuffing her foot back into her shoe, she excused herself from the girls and darted to the public bathrooms located at the edge of the field.

One peek inside the door told her she’d have to find another place to transform. The stalls and sinks were occupied, and a few girls were lined up, looking impatient.

Ducking out, she spied a shed a few meters away and headed over there, trying not to be noticed.

It was an old supply shed with a breaker box and a few tools, such as shovels and buckets, overrun with cobwebs and looking like it hadn’t been touched in years. Not the ideal spot, but it would have to do. The park was a 40-minute bus ride from the center of Paris, so Marinette had no time to waste. She slipped inside and closed the door, calling on Tikki to transform. A shimmering, tingling warmth washed over her as her clothes were replaced with the magic suit that was her second skin.

It was go time.

With the door closed, the only light inside the shed was coming from a slit of a window that ran horizontally near the ceiling. It was too high up to see into, but allowed enough light for Ladybug to orient herself. Not enough to prevent her from disaster though, apparently.

She’d hardly taken a step toward the door when her foot snagged on the handle of a bucket. Stumbling, her flailing arm knocked a shovel off its hook, sending it clattering down, whacking her in the head on the way. “Ow!” she cried, unable to fight the pull of gravity. She ended up in a pile of dusty flowerpots, water that had been stagnating in the bucket now pooling around her legs on the concrete floor of the shed.

“Marinette?”

The voice came from outside the shed—she knew that voice. It was Adrien. Still sitting on the floor, dangerously close to a few spiders and with her hand in a flowerpot, Ladybug stilled, almost holding her breath. She wasn’t Marinette right now, so she’d have to wait until he moved on.

“Marinette,” Adrien persisted, “I know you’re in there. Are you okay? I heard a crash.”

Great. Ladybug knew her clumsiness would do her in one day. Did she say ‘ow’ so often in life that he recognized her that easily? Or maybe he’d seen her go in? If so, hopefully he was the only one who had.

“Marinette?” This time, she could hear concern in his voice. It seemed her lack of response was making him even more worried, instead of encouraging him to move on. She’d have to answer.

“Euh—um, yes! I’m fine, I-I just tripped!” Ladybug responded, standing up and brushing herself off. “Don’t worry about me,” she added, implying that he could leave.

He didn’t, though. “Are you sure?” he asked.

“Denifitely!—uhh, definitely! Totally fine. Yup!”

“Okay, I’m glad to hear that.”

Ladybug didn’t hear any footsteps walking away and assumed he was still waiting by the door. If he didn’t leave now, it was going to start getting weird.

“Aren’t you coming out?” Adrien asked. “What are you doing in there, anyway?”

“Uhhh…” This was a problem. If she tried to call off the transformation, he’d hear her. Even though she doubted the words would mean anything to him, she still didn’t want to risk it. But _ obviously _ she couldn’t come out as Ladybug. How could she get him to leave or look away without being too suspicious?

There had to be a way out of this predicament. She thought quick, and came up with a plan that might work. “I-I came in here because um. I was looking for the fall, I mean the ball! But then I tripped and ummm, It’s kind of embarrassing, actually. Some water got on me and the stain looks like… uhh… a different kind of accident. Super embarrassing, right?!” She cringed as she said the words. Portraying herself in such a way to her crush was almost physically painful. But sacrifices had to be made in the line of duty. “Sooo… could you do me a favor?”

“Of course! What is it?” Adrien asked eagerly.

“Could you um… hide me? I mean. Just walk in front of me so I can get to the bathroom and fry it, I mean dry it off? It’s just uh… really big, hard to hide, and I don’t want anyone to notice, you know?!”

“No problem!”

Whew. He didn’t laugh at her. He was willing to help. Adrien was just… _ perfect_.

“I-I’m coming out now, can you turn around and close your eyes?”

This time, he did laugh. “C’mon, it can’t be that bad, Marinette! It’s just me, Adrien, don’t worry!”

He was being so sweet—he’d even done her the courtesy of introducing himself, in case she didn’t recognize his voice. Ladybug’s heart melted. Yet she had to be firm about this. “I-I know but… please? Don’t look.”

“Okay, okay…” She heard shuffling on the grass and his voice sounded more distant the next time he spoke. “I’m facing the other way, you can come out now.”

Tentatively, Ladybug cracked the door open and peeked out. True to his word, Adrien had his back to her. She came out of the shed to stand with him in between her and the other students. Red was a difficult color to conceal, and Adrien wasn’t exactly the largest visual obstruction to hide behind, but at least this arrangement could help her prevent being noticed, in case anyone _ had _seen Marinette going into the shed. “I’m gonna walk behind you, c-can we just… get to the girl’s bathroom?”

It was only about ten meters away. They could make it. This was going to work.

When they took a step, Ladybug’s ankle twinged slightly, and she hissed. Her foot had landed badly after being tangled up in the bucket.

“Hey, you ok?” Adrien asked.

“Uh-uh, stop right there!” With lightning-fast reflexes, Ladybug caught his head in her fingertips just as he was about to turn around to check on her. She hoped he couldn’t feel the texture of her suit through the nerves of his scalp. Her heart was beating fast, mostly from the anxiety of her identity being on the line, but also partly because her _ fingers _ were in Adrien’s _ beautiful golden hair _. She couldn’t help but wonder if it would feel soft without the suit in the way. “I-I’m fine,” she answered him. “Just landed badly.”

They finally made it all the way to the door of the bathroom, and mercifully none of the students on the field looked their way.

“Thanks,” Ladybug whispered in Adrien’s ear. “Don’t breathe a word of this to _ anyone. _ You didn’t find me in the shed. And wait five seconds before you open your eyes, okay?! No, ten seconds.”

“As you wish,” Adrien replied, one hand raised in a vow.

She opened the door to the bathroom a few centimeters and closed it again to make it seem like she was going inside, but instead ducked around the corner of the building to the back, away from Adrien and the public view. Her ankle felt fine now, and thankfully the suit’s added stealth features made her footsteps almost silent. She unhooked her yo-yo, steeled herself with a deep breath of fresh air, and threw it at the tallest tree. With that, she was free, swinging toward Paris and the akuma at a breakneck speed, the wind roaring in her ears.

—

After making quick work of the akuma and parting ways with Chat Noir, Ladybug managed to make it back to the park only about an hour after she’d left. That wasn’t bad—though the actual fight had only taken fifteen minutes, it had been quite a distance to travel to the akuma’s location. She hoped no one had noticed her absence, but if anyone asked, she had an elaborate excuse prepared.

For the sake of her excuse, and so no one would see Ladybug returning to the park, she detransformed behind the visitor center, which was about a ten-minute walk from the field where the rest of the students were.

Stepping onto the sidewalk that led to the field, Marinette heard footsteps behind her, and to her surprise, Adrien was following her up the path. When had he gotten here? There was no way he’d seen her detransform—she’d been careful to make sure there was no one around. “A-Adrien! What are you doing here?”

“Just getting some aspirin from the visitor center. Had a bit of a headache from the sun.”

“Oh. I hope you feel better.” Marinette fell in step with him, feeling a little anxious. She couldn’t be absolutely sure that her identity was still a secret. There was a possibility, however slim, that he might have seen her out of the corner of his eye. Or felt her suit when she touched his head. Or that someone else had seen her and asked him what he was doing with Ladybug.

“Looks like the stain’s gone,” Adrien observed.

Marinette’s worries calmed down a bit. If he’d caught her, it would have been obvious that what she’d said was just an excuse, that there was no stain. Unless he was testing her? “Yup, back to normal now,” she said nervously, glancing at Adrien out of the corner of her eye. His face looked greasy, seemingly slathered with sunblock. “Wow, that’s a lot of sunblock,” she remarked.

“Yeah, Father doesn’t want me to get burned. Or even tanned. I’d probably be grounded for life if I got a farmer’s tan.”

Marinette giggled. “The challenges of being a model.”

“It’s a rough life,” Adrien said with a dramatic look on his face, then chuckled.

“Hey, you’ve got some white there,” Marinette touched her cheek in the spot where he had a stray glob of sunblock.

Instead of mirroring her to rub it in as she expected him to do, he offered his cheek to her. He was probably used to other people touching his face, she reasoned, and she timidly reached out to blend the sunblock into his skin. “Thanks,” he said once she had done so, giving her a sweet smile.

She blushed and looked away, tongue not functioning enough for a response.

As they walked along, though, Marinette allowed herself to relax and enjoy this moment with the boy of her dreams. If she was reading him correctly, he seemed to be acting normal. Not like he was hiding the most sought-after knowledge in Paris.

Though Adrien wouldn’t be the worst person to know her identity, it was still out of the question.

What a relief. Another day, another disaster averted.


	5. Clumsy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien buys Marinette some flowers, and gets something unexpected in return.

It had been almost a week since the school play, but Adrien fully intended to follow through with his decision to give Marinette something as a ‘thank you’ for helping him. The week had been filled with activity—from his normal extracurriculars and school to the impromptu amusement park trip—which is why he only now found himself at the flower shop, bright and early in the morning, debating what to get.

Adrien liked flowers. They were like words—perishable, yet with a lasting impact. When words were spoken, there was nothing that remained to hold onto except the understanding left behind. Flowers were the same. They weren’t material possessions that you could hoard up and later sell for profit. They weren’t useful, they didn’t boast of status, and they weren’t valuable like jewelry. They were beautiful and transient, like poetic words spoken at sunset, filled with specific meanings. So when Adrien wanted to express something with a gift, flowers were his first choice.

Roses, however, held a sore spot for him. Red roses reminded him of countless rejections from Ladybug. And pink roses reminded him of the humiliating near-defeat against Marinette’s akumatized father. Adrien had hardly felt more useless than that day. He had failed Marinette two times over—once, by failing to return her feelings, and a second time, by failing to save her. In both cases, Ladybug had been the victor. She already owned his heart, and she had been the one to save the day in the end.

Which, of course, brought him full circle. Pink roses hurt even more than red roses.

In any case, he couldn’t—wouldn’t—give Marinette another pink rose. He already hated the fact that he’d upset her with his rejection.

Standing in the fragrant flower shop under the watchful gaze of the owner, who respectfully waited at the counter for him to decide what he wanted, Adrien turned to his favorite advisor. He ran a quick Google search for the meaning of flowers. A blog post told him that sweet peas were a good way to say thank you. They were pretty, and reminded him of the frilly-yet-elegant style he’d seen in some of Marinette’s designs.

“I’ll take a small bouquet of sweet peas,” Adrien told the shop owner.

While she arranged it for him, he perused a display of cards by the counter and picked one up that caught his eye. It was small, only a little bigger than a business card, and featured a cute grey tabby cat on the front with the words, ‘thank you.’ On the inside, it said, ‘I owe you all nine of my lives.’ Adrien snorted a laugh and smiled to himself. Would it be overdoing it with the cat merchandise if he got it for her?

Nah. Like Plagg said, people were blind. She’d never make the connection between him and Cat Noir. Plus, the cat wasn’t even black. The card was simply too cute to pass up.

As the shop owner tied a ribbon around the bouquet she’d wrapped in cream-pink cellophane, Adrien caught the Gorilla glaring at him from outside the door. Okay, maybe he wasn’t glaring—that’s just how his face looked—but Adrien should probably hurry up, anyway. School was starting in twenty minutes. Remembering he’d decided to get chocolates too, he grabbed a random box of truffles from a display near the counter and quickly made his purchase.

—

Adrien hadn’t anticipated that the walk from the car to the classroom would be so excruciating.  _ Everyone  _ noticed the flowers, and he was on the receiving end of probably no fewer than fifty evil glares from girls in other classes. Presumably intended for the recipient of the flowers, not himself. Nino’s shameless teasing didn’t help at all.

“You liked the kiss that much, huh, bro?”

“Shut up, Nino. I’m just thanking her. I would’ve looked like an idiot onstage if it weren’t for all her help.”

“Don’t try to hide it, dude. I saw you after that kiss, and…” he leaned in to whisper in Adrien’s ear. “I can tell when you’re acting, and when you’re not.”

“You know where my true affections lie,  _ bro, _ ” Adrien whispered back with a warning tone, hoping his cheeks weren’t as red as they felt. He glanced pointedly at the girls glaring at them from across the hall. “I don’t want anyone to get akumatized, so chill out.”

“Okay, okay.” Nino backed off the topic and launched into a rant about how amazing his favorite DJ’s latest mix was.

Marinette wasn’t there yet when they entered the classroom. Not surprising, and it came as a relief to Adrien since he didn’t want to make a scene of giving her the flowers in front of everyone. At least he was well-acquainted enough with his own class that it shouldn’t cause as much drama as the walk through the halls.

“Are those for  _ me,  _ Adrikins?”

Maybe he’d judged too soon.

“No, Chlo’,” Adrien said, peeling her arms off him. “They’re for Marinette.”

“Dupain-Cheng?! Why would you give  _ her  _ flowers?”

“She helped me get ready for the play,” Adrien answered truthfully, trying not to be fazed by Chloe’s obvious distaste. He started to regret his decision bring the flowers to school—everyone was overreacting. He should have just brought them straight to Marinette’s house some other time.

“If you needed help,” Lila purred, suddenly all up in Adrien’s personal space. He took a step back, wondering how and when she’d gotten there. “You could’ve just asked me.”

“Excuse me, Lila,” Adrien said in a tone that implied she was overstepping her bounds. “You weren’t even in the play, so how could you have helped?”

“Only because I was in Hollywood last week, filming with  _ real  _ actors,” she said coquettishly. “But you could have facetimed me. I have all kinds of useful acting tips.”

Adrien glanced aside at Nino, who shrugged as if to say, ‘This is your problem.’

“Class is about to start,” Adrien said sternly, refusing to get caught up in Lila’s game by honoring her with a response. He looked her in the eye firmly until she turned tail with a huff and marched to her seat in the back. Adrien paused for a moment in front of his own seat, debating whether to conceal the gifts and give them to Marinette later, or just put them on her desk. On impulse, he took the extra step to go with the latter option. May as well just get it over with.

Alya, who was already seated, narrowed her eyes at Adrien. There was a smirk on her lips, but he could sense something dangerous in her expression, making him feel like he was doing something she didn’t approve of. He didn’t understand, though, and floundered under her gaze, quirking his brow in confusion. Alya’s eyes slid past him, widening in alarm.

Adrien turned, just in time to catch Marinette’s face against his chest as she barrelled into him with a squeal. His rump landed painfully against the step, and the back of his head banged against the wood of a bench. She was half in his lap, mumbling apologies.

“I’m so sorry, Adrien, a-are you okay? I’m sorry, you’re the worst—I mean I’m the worst, I’m just—madly clumsy!”

“Whoa, it’s okay,” Adrien reassured her, rubbing the back of his head that was still throbbing with pain. “No worries.”

“You hurt your head?” Marinette cried in concern.

“It doesn’t hurt!” Adrien lied, and cleared his throat. Marinette hadn’t moved, and he couldn’t get up unless she did first. “Uh, Ms. Bustier just came in.”

“Oh! Oh no, oh no, oh no, I’m so sorry!” Marinette jumped to her feet, beet red, and held out a hand to help Adrien up.

He took her hand, rubbing his sore rear as he stood. “Thanks.” He quirked a smile and winked at Marinette, gesturing at the flowers on her desk. “Sorry, this didn’t go as smoothly as I hoped, but I wanted to thank you for helping me with the play.”

Adrien didn’t believe it was possible, but Marinette’s blush deepened, and she slid into her seat with a sheepish smile. “I-I didn’t do anything—You were amazing by yourself! You’re always amazing… That is—thank you.” She buried her face in her arms, partially hidden behind the bouquet.

Adrien smiled in amusement as he sat down, choosing to ignore the glare from Chloe that he could see in his peripheral vision. Marinette was so easily flustered, yet he’d seen her perform with amazing clarity under pressure before. She was an intriguing girl, like a puzzle he hadn’t figured out yet. He’d love to get to know her better.

Yet, as Adrien pulled out his tablet and Ms. Bustier started her lecture, his mind strayed back to her words, which suddenly struck him with familiarity.

_ “I’m just—madly clumsy!” _

It wasn’t a common thing to say, but he’d heard those words before.

He’d never forget those words, which he’d heard on his first day of being Cat Noir, instead of the name he was expecting.

The name of the girl who would quickly become the love of his life.

Was it a coincidence?

Maybe.

He probably shouldn’t make anything of it.

Yet, a crack of possibility had been opened, and he found himself straining to peer through it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Marinette only said this phrase in the English Origins episode to cover up for the fact that she was about to say her name. But sometimes, a phrase sticks. What if it became part of her vernacular? :P
> 
> Thanks to everyone for reading and supporting this fic so far. Let me know your thoughts.


	6. Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette and her friends gather for a jam session on the Couffaine houseboat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Click here to listen to the narrated version with background music.](https://youtu.be/zYbjK2x4-xE)
> 
> (I recommend it, if only for Luka's guitar music near the end. ^_~)

Marinette felt the boat sway as she stepped onto it. It was a Friday evening, late dusk, and the sky was a dark purple. The stage platform was set up, but not the truss—this wasn’t an official gig, just a jam session among friends. RGB mood lights were set up around the perimeter of the stage, transitioning smoothly from one hue to the next.

“Hey, girl, you made it!” Alya was at Marinette’s side immediately, hooking an arm around hers and leading her to where Alix and Mylène were sitting on cardboard boxes, sipping fruity drinks and watching the band play.

The first thing Marinette had noticed was the sound of the piano, and her eyes were drawn to the stage. As expected, Adrien was there, nodding slightly with the beat as he played chords and arpeggios across the keys. He looked completely at peace and in his element. Marinette knew how rare it was for Adrien to be allowed to hang out with his friends, and his appreciation showed.

When the song ended, Adrien stood and left the stage, even as the rest of the band transitioned into the next number. To Marinette’s complete shock, he came straight toward her as if he’d been planning it. She looked behind her to see if there was someone else he was smiling at, but there was no one there.

“Hey Marinette, how was the song?” he asked with a broad smile.

Alya elbowed her in the side, and she realized she was staring.

“Oh! Um, y-yeah, it was awesong! Uhh, awesome!”

“Was that a pun?” Adrien quirked an eyebrow, a faint smile gracing his lips.

No, it was a slip of the tongue. But Marinette laughed along with him anyway, letting him think she was being clever.

“Mind if I sit here?” Adrien pointed at the empty spot to Marinette’s left.

“S-sure! I mean, I don’t mind at all!”

He sat down and leaned back on his arms in a comfortable pose.

Marinette fiddled nervously with the strap of her purse, eyes fixed on the band. She didn’t know what to make of the fact that he’d deliberately come to sit next to her. Any time he had ended up sitting beside her, it was usually a matter of circumstance or accident. Was he expecting something? Should she try talking to him? Or should she stay silent so they could watch the band?

Unexpectedly, it was he who made the first move.

“So, um.”

Marinette looked at Adrien. He was facing the stage, but his eyes darted down to look at her, then back at the stage, with uncharacteristic apprehension.

“Remember that time you tried out for fencing? I noticed you were really fast.”

“Oh… yeah… thanks?” What did you say to something like that? That had been almost a year ago—Marinette wondered why he was bringing it up now.

“Yeah. And you seemed really… coordinated. I’m sure if Kagami hadn’t showed up, you would’ve been able to make the team.”

Right. Kagami. Marinette’s gut sank at the mention of her name. She had noticed they’d been spending a lot of time together lately. Maybe Adrien had come to ask her for advice about Kagami again. Her emotional defense system went up, and she braced herself for whatever might come out of Adrien’s mouth next. It couldn’t hurt as much as the time he had admitted he was starting to see Kagami as more than a friend. At least, this time, she was ready.

“What I’m trying to say is,” Adrien continued, and she tuned in to his words through the tempest that had started in her heart. “It’s almost like you had practice fighting before. I guess not fencing, since you didn’t know the rules. But… did you? Or do you?”

Adrien gave her a penetrating look, and Marinette blinked back, confused. His words had come out of left field. “Um… no, not really?” Aside from the akuma battles she fought a few times a week, but she wasn’t about to mention that. “Why do you ask?”

“No reason,” he said, letting out a breath he had seemed to be holding. “Sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I just made some… observations, I guess. And I got curious. Like a curious cat.” He coughed awkwardly.

“Observations? Don’t tell me you were checking my girl out, Agreste?” Alya leaned over Marinette to give Adrien a sharp look, and Marinette could almost feel the air crackling with tension between them.

“N-no! Nothing like that,” Adrien countered, lowering his eyebrows.

Of course, his denial was to be expected, regardless of what he really thought of her. Yet, he was acting different from usual, and Marinette couldn’t understand his line of questioning. She was too confused by Adrien’s behavior to even know how to feel. And what was with that look Alya gave him?

Marinette remembered that she had walked in on a conversation Adrien was having with Nino and Alya the other day, and her heart felt even heavier as she remembered the words she had heard.  _ “I don’t choose who I love.” “Did it have to be a certain dark-haired, red-suited girl?” _

Kagami’s fencing outfit was red, and she knew they had lessons together several times a week.

Marinette had even seen Adrien blush when he was with Kagami and her mother during the animated movie premiere. They’d been too far away for her to make out the conversation.

Was  _ Kagami _ the one Alya was talking about? The one Adrien loved?

Was that why Alya gave him a warning look? Because she knew how much Marinette would read into Adrien’s friendly advances and didn’t want her to get her hopes up?

“Marinette…” Adrien was speaking now in a voice low enough that Alya couldn’t hear over the sound of the music.

Marinette leaned in to hear better.

“When you meet the right  _ partner _ … you just know, right?” He caught her eye, as he said it, and Marinette’s heart squeezed painfully. She could hardly be called his  _ partner  _ in any sense. Was he talking about Kagami? Their face-off had been spectacular. Was he trying to ask her if Kagami was the right girl for him romantically, too? She was afraid to ask him to clarify—her heart couldn’t handle the blow.

She was sure he’d see the hurt in her eyes, but she forced a smile anyway. “I guess so,” she answered noncommittally, her own voice sounding like it was miles away.

As he pulled the final chord of the current song, Luka beckoned Adrien with a nod, a silent invitation to join in for the next one. Adrien returned the gesture, and his eyes lingered on Marinette’s before he stepped back onstage and took his position at the piano.

Marinette’s insides were burning. She couldn’t keep up her fake smile, and didn’t want to make a scene in front of everyone. “I’m going to the bathroom,” she told Alya, and took the flight of stairs into the house portion of the boat.

Closing the bathroom door behind her, she sat on the toilet cover and let the tears pour down her cheeks. Tikki came out of her purse and nuzzled her cheek consolingly.

Why did Adrien have to bring up Kagami? And all that other stuff about being fast and coordinated—was physical fitness that important to him? Marinette couldn’t compare with Kagami, who had trained for her whole life. Even if she joined a fencing class today, she would never be able to catch up.

Was she foolish to hope that Adrien could ever like her? He had made it abundantly clear that he only saw her as a friend.

There was a soft knock on the door, and Tikki darted back into hiding. Marinette stilled her breath and ripped off a piece of toilet paper to wipe the tears and runny mascara from her eyes.

“Marinette?” Alya called out to her gently. “You okay?”

“I’ll be fine,” Marinette mumbled, sniffling.

“Can I come in?”

Marinette unlocked the door, and Alya came inside, wrapping Marinette in a hug.

“Alya, tell me the truth,” Marinette said in a quiet, shaky voice, “You found out who Adrien likes, right?”

Alya said nothing, which was enough of an answer.

“It’s someone else,” Marinette said—a statement, not a question.

“If you want my honest opinion,” Alya said, “I don’t think it’ll work out, so you still have a chance. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

Marinette failed to see how it couldn’t work out between Kagami and Adrien. They were like two peas in a pod, and even their parents got along. But since she needed a strain of optimism to latch onto, she nodded and took comfort in her best friend’s arms. There was no reason for her to be upset, anyway—Adrien had always been out of her reach.

“Ready to go up, or do you need a moment?”

“We can go up. Let me just fix my makeup.”

Alya gave Marinette a moment in front of the mirror to clean her face of any dark smudges, and then they went back out to the deck. Marinette was grateful for the low lighting. She couldn’t muster up any enthusiasm for the rest of the night, but she stayed and did her best not to bring down the mood. A few times, she caught Adrien looking at her, but she avoided him. Not because she didn’t want to be around him, but for his sake—he didn’t deserve the brunt of her bitterness.

As everyone was unwinding, and some of the non-musical friends in their group were goofing off with the instruments on-stage, Luka brought his guitar to sit beside Marinette. She wished he would leave her alone, but when he played a melancholy progression of minor chords, she didn’t have the heart to tell him to go away.

“Feeling like this again?” he asked gently, the first words he’d spoken to her that night.

“I’m sorry,” Marinette said, feeling like she was apologizing for her entire gloomy existence. There was no use putting on a show in front of Luka. He had an uncanny way of always sensing how she felt, regardless of how she acted.

“Don’t be,” Luka answered. “You’re allowed to be sad. But I’d like to change the melody of your heart… if you’ll let me.”

Marinette didn’t answer, so he just started to pluck out a soft melody.

Surprisingly, despite her stubbornness and wanting to just wallow in her own pain, it worked. By the time everyone started saying their goodbyes, she felt okay. Not good, but okay.

Pulling her light jacket tight, Marinette began the walk home. The night air was crisp, and the wind had picked up.

“Hey!”

Marinette lifted her head to see Adrien jogging to catch up with her. “Hey.” 

He matched her pace. “I’m sorry if I said something wrong,” he said earnestly. “You seemed upset tonight.”

He’d noticed?

“No, it’s okay,” Marinette said weakly.

“I don’t know if you’ll understand, but…” He stopped her by grabbing her hand. Marinette finally looked at him, surprised. His eyes were soft and searching. “I hate secrets.”

Several seconds passed, and neither of them moved. Finally, she gently pulled her hand away from him. “Sorry, Adrien, I don’t understand.”

She felt like she had failed him.

What did he want her to understand? What secrets did he mean?

He stood in the sidewalk staring at her for a moment longer before his expression changed into one she’d seen in magazines. A practiced look. The vulnerability was gone.

“Sorry if I confused you,” he said, sounding a little distant. “I-I have to go… good night.”

For the first time, Marinette noticed the silver car that had been following them. Adrien waved and pulled open the door.

“Do you need a ride?” he asked, seemingly as an afterthought.

“No, thanks.”

Before she knew it, the door had slammed shut and the car was disappearing down the street with a low hum.

And like a scab ripped off along with the band-aid, all Luka’s hard work was erased, just like that. Marinette cried for the second time that night, feeling so far away from the boy who unknowingly held her heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, in this chapter, Adrien is realizing how difficult it is to 'say something without saying it.' He is well aware that once the identities are 'out of the bag,' there's no going back, and he wants it to happen on Ladybug's terms, not his own. So, he's trying to drop hints so she'll get the idea that he knows something and let her decide what to do with that info. However, he's completely bungling his attempts and Marinette, of course, misunderstands.
> 
> For Marinette's part, as soon as she hears the name 'Kagami,' she starts jumping to conclusions and having ideas which, even though they don't fully match what Adrien is actually saying, overtake her mind so much that she starts acting more on emotion than reason.
> 
> I've never been sure whether this chapter turned out the way I intended. I wanted to depict a misunderstanding as a result of two things: (1) that awkward stage when you like someone and you're trying to read them to figure out if they could like you back, so you read very deepy (too deeply) into their every little word and action; and (2) how difficult it would actually be to confirm an identity suspicion without spilling the beans, forcing a reveal, or triggering 'defensive denial mode' (since of course Marinette would say 'No' if he bluntly asked if she was Ladybug).
> 
> In Japanese, the word for misunderstanding is _'kanchigai,'_ where the Chinese characters mean _'difference of perception/intuition'_. My mind keeps coming back to it as a suitable word for this particular situation. Since Marinette and Adrien are thinking of very different things, the way they contextualize and read everything within this scenario is completely different, resulting in the misunderstanding.
> 
> Anyway, I'm just curious how you guys received this chapter. Were the characters' reactions understandable? Did you read about Marinette's thoughts/reactions and wonder "Why the heck would she think that?" Did I succeed? Did I fail? Haha. Let me know your thoughts and opinions.


	7. Sweet Tooth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette wallows in bed; Adrien has other plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys like this light-hearted chapter (with a slight topping of angst, as per usual).
> 
> [Listen to the Narration](https://youtu.be/K-VHvBuMnqA)

It was a slow morning for Marinette. It was Saturday, and she didn’t have any responsibilities except homework, so she fought off consciousness as long as possible.

Her brain had a habit of going into overdrive, and sleep was the only way to shut it off. So after the jam session last night, she had gone straight to bed to escape the thoughts running through her mind.

Adrien was in love with someone else. And while that shouldn’t have come as a surprise—it wasn’t the first time Marinette had gotten wind of it, and Adrien was so handsome and well liked that he basically had his pick of anyone—last night had been different.

He had seemed vulnerable. And he had wanted Marinette’s support in some way. As a friend. And she had pushed him away, out of fear and self-preservation.

What made Marinette the saddest was that she  _ didn’t  _ understand him. She had a romantic ideal that if she and Adrien were meant to be together, their souls would be in sync, and she would  _ always  _ be able to understand him. She’d be able to read his expressions and gestures, and read between the lines of everything he said. But last night had just left her confused.

Confused, and hurt. The thought of someone else occupying his thoughts, someone else being in sync with him, someone else rendering him weak and helpless—Marinette felt like her heart was a pincushion, and every moment of wakefulness, being reminded of these thoughts, was like another pin being slowly inserted.

She recalled the starry expression in Adrien’s eyes when he told her how pretty he thought Kagami was. Juxtaposed with his perplexed and sometimes troubled expressions whenever she bungled her words in front of him or accidentally insulted him due to her extreme awkwardness. The pit in her stomach tightened with disgust at herself. How could she be so deluded as to hope he could ever see her as more than a friend?

She should call herself lucky that he even counted her as a friend, considering the way she usually acted in front of him.

Marinette’s phone sounded with a notification, but she ignored it, since it wasn’t an akuma alert. Instead, she rolled over in bed and buried her head under the pillow. She was already fully awake, but stubbornly resisted facing the day.

“Marinette, I know you’re up,” Tikki’s voice squeaked from a few inches away. “Aren’t you going to check your phone?”

“Later,” Marinette mumbled.

“Adrien sent you something.”

“Adrien?” The mention of his name was like a knife in Marinette’s stomach. Yet her heart was also fluttering about the fact that he’d actually sent her something.

She grabbed her phone, and the way the plush cat charm bounced as she picked it up was bittersweet. A memento of their  _ friend-date. _ The word  _ friend _ burned like acid in Marinette’s mind.

The latest notification showed that  **adrien.agreste** had sent her an Instagram story. She clicked.

It was someone else’s Instagram story featuring almond croissants expertly photographed with a depth-of-field effect, looking positively delectable.

That was it—no message, nothing.

Had he sent it intentionally? Had it been an accident? Was Adrien the type to share things he liked from the internet with anyone and everyone? He never sent Marinette anything—this was a first. What did it mean?

Did it mean he had actually  _ thought  _ about her?

She typed out a response.

**Looks delicious~**

Impersonal enough to preserve her dignity in case it was a mistake or he’d sent the same story to all his friends. But if he  _ had _ been thinking of her—maybe his response would give her a clue. Three dots immediately appeared, showing that he was typing. Marinette stared at the screen for a pregnant moment, before his response came in with a buzz.

** _When I saw it in my feed this morning, I decided I had to _ ** **feed** ** _ on some. ;) Where better to get croissants than the best bakery in Paris?_ **

No way.

She peered through the window. Sure enough, Adrien was outside, looking up. He probably couldn’t see her, but he waved in good faith that she was in her room and looking.

Marinette was still in pajamas! Scrambling, she threw on a jumpsuit and pulled a brush through her hair, not bothering with her usual pigtails. No time for makeup or anything. Marinette’s heart was churning. She wasn’t ready for this.

When she got down the stairs, he was already inside, making light conversation with her mother while her father attended to a line of customers. It wasn’t the busiest time of day, but on Saturdays, the rush usually went strong until late morning.

“Good morning, Marinette!” Adrien said enthusiastically as soon as he caught sight of her.

Marinette’s heart panged. Why did he have to be so cute? “Um… good morning,” she returned.

He was already holding a bag with the bakery’s logo. “I have a photoshoot soon, so I can’t stay long, but… would you like to have breakfast together?” The way he said it was earnest and hopeful, like he was putting himself on the line and was eager for her to say yes.

_ He likes someone else, _ a small part of Marinette’s mind repeated like a mantra.  _ Don’t read into it. _ “O-of course!” she answered, despite herself.

“Go on up to the living room,” Sabine said, ushering Marinette and Adrien toward the stairs.

Tucked upstairs and out of the way, Adrien opened the bag and extracted two almond croissants, still warm from the oven. “These look even better than the picture,” he commented.

“Would you like milk with it?” Marinette asked, opening the refrigerator.

“Yes, please!” Adrien said enthusiastically.

She poured two glasses, and they ate the croissants in silence. It might have been uncomfortable, if the croissants weren’t so distractingly good. Marinette snuck glances at Adrien, wondering why he’d come all the way to her family’s bakery just to satisfy a sugar craving. His free time was so rare that the last thing she’d expect was for him to spend it with her. He seemed a little nervous, and Marinette hoped he wasn’t regretting his decision to eat with her.

“I can’t believe you came just for almond croissants,” Marinette finally said, breaking the silence.

“It was worth it,” Adrien said, swallowing his bite. “That was delicious. Best use of leftovers ever. Anyway, I’m not here  _ just  _ for the croissants.”

“Oh?” Marinette’s heart rate increased. Did he come for her company? Possibly? What did that mean? Could he like her after all?  _ No, _ the reasonable part of her brain answered, beating down her excited thoughts.  _ He likes someone else. Alya confirmed that. He said he liked Kagami. Kagami! Don’t be a fool, Marinette! _

“I wanted to apologize for last night. I was being a little cryptic and… I guess I upset you somehow.” His expression was sincere. “I’m sorry.” 

“It’s fine,” Marinette replied, hiding her inner turmoil. “It wasn’t because of you, don’t worry about it.” The statement was both true and false. She had been upset  _ about _ him, but he hadn’t done anything wrong. It was her own thoughts that had sent her on a depressing downward spiral of insecurity. She had no right to be feeling all that about a boy who wasn’t hers. And because she was feeling just enough self-disgust to expose her wounds and accept whatever salt he could throw into them, she opened her mouth to ask, “It wasn’t about Kagami again, was it?”

“Kagami?” Adrien looked genuinely surprised.

Marinette felt lightheaded. Ever since the day Adrien had first pulled her aside in school for a consultation about his fencing partner, Kagami had been like a thorn in Marinette’s hypersensitive heart. It was both freeing and painful to openly talk about her. “I don’t know what’s going on, but if you need someone to confide in, well, here I am. What you said about meeting the right partner… did you mean her?” She noticed Adrien was gaping at her, and suddenly felt self-conscious. “Huh? What’s wrong?”

“Kagami?” Adrien shook his head. “What made you think I was talking about Kagami?”

“I mean…” Marinette floundered, even more confused than before. “You mentioned her, and fencing, then you asked about finding the right partner, so I just thought… I mean, she’s your fencing partner… sometimes? And I don’t know, you said you liked her… you asked her out that one time, but I don’t know what happened after that… You’ve been spending a lot of time together lately… so I thought, maybe…” She was rambling, and Adrien’s lack of response was unsettling. Forcibly, she closed her mouth.

“… Um, wow… nothing is going on between her and me,” Adrien said, looking like a realization had just dawned on him. “Why would you think that?”

“You two just… had a spark, and you’re always spending time together,” Marinette mumbled out, looking down. “She’s a great partner for you… Didn’t you say you liked her? Isn’t that what you were talking about?”

“Marinette.”

Marinette raised her eyes to meet Adrien’s. His mouth was pulled into a bemused smile, and he was giving her a soft, genuine look.

“Yeah, she’s a great fencing partner, and my father’s work forces us together sometimes, but that’s not what I meant. At all. I wasn’t talking about her.”

“Huh?” Marinette felt like some of the painful binds on her heart had been cut loose, but she was no less confused. “Then, what did you mean?”

Adrien blushed, which came as a surprise. “Oh, y’know… it was fun sparring with you that time, before we got interrupted. How about a second round?”

“You mean… me?!” Marinette pointed at herself, incredulous. Beneath her surprise, a part of her brain was aware that he had sidestepped the question.

“Who else?”

“I-I mean… I’m so clumsy!”

Adrien shrugged and grinned. “Ever played a game of poke war before?”

“Poke war?”

“Yeah! Let me show you.” He stood up, took a few steps away from the table, and held out his hand, as if he were inviting her to arm wrestle.

Tentatively, Marinette stood up and took his hand. Her heart skipped a beat as they made contact. With their hands clasped, Adrien stuck out his index finger, and Marinette did the same.

“Okay, now place your right foot here.” Adrien tapped the floor with his toe.

She did as she was told, and Adrien placed the outside of his foot against hers.

“You’re not allowed to move your foot, and if I touch you, you lose. Ready?”

Marinette didn’t feel ready, but she put on her game face.

“Set?”

Adrien grinned roguishly; Marinette gulped.

“Go!”

Adrien lunged forward to poke her with his index finger, and Marinette dodged, Matrix-style. Oh. So that’s how this game this went.

Marinette took advantage of her smaller stature to duck under Adrien’s arm and attack him from below. He swerved out of the way, laughing, and attempted a counterattack. Marinette pushed back on his arm, nearly throwing him off balance.

“See, we’re evenly matched!”

Marinette’s heart was racing from the close contact with Adrien, but her competitive spirit had flared up enough for her to keep her cool, and she managed to land a poke squarely in his side while he was talking.

“Okay, you win!” he laughed, relaxing his stance.

“You got distracted,” Marinette retorted.

Adrien’s eyes crinkled as he smiled back at her, and Marinette’s face heated up as she suddenly became aware that their hands were still linked. Even as her heart pounded, the reminder came insistently from the back of her mind that Adrien liked someone else. Maybe not Kagami, but definitely not Marinette. So what was he was doing here, in her living room, holding her hand?

Putting a damper on her heart and gathering up the scraps of her dignity, Marinette removed her hand from his for the second time in twenty-four hours. A flush spread slowly across his cheeks, her movement probably calling his attention to how close they’d been standing.

Her smile had faded. That melty feeling that she got from spending time with Adrien—it was one sided. She wouldn’t give in to it. She wouldn’t be the fool in love.

“Sorry,” Adrien said bashfully, looking flustered. “Um… thanks for the croissant.”

If Marinette hadn’t known better, she would have been certain that he felt something, too, from the way he was acting.

Why was he doing this to her?

“Y-you can thank my parents on the way out,” Marinette said quietly. She didn’t intend for it to sound so cold, but it came out that way.

Now Adrien wasn’t smiling either, and it wrenched Marinette’s heart. Forcing herself to overcome her own feelings, she grinned and socked him in the arm, the way she might do to Chat Noir when he was acting immature. “You can redeem yourself next time, fencing champion. Round three.”

The sparkle returned to his eyes, and he let out a small, breathless laugh, seeming… relieved? “You’ll give me a round three? What about now?”

Gosh, he was so cute. Marinette steeled herself. “Don’t you have a photoshoot?”

He checked his phone for the time and pouted. “Yeah, I guess I have to go. Thanks for breakfast, Marinette. And I don’t mean the croissants.”

Marinette gave him a faint smile, guarding her heart. “Anytime.”

Adrien moved toward the door, then paused. “Marinette,” he said, turning.

“Yeah?”

“We’ve been friends for a while,” he said, looking nervous, “but I feel like we’re not that close. Maybe we could… hang out more?”

Marinette blinked. “Um, yeah, I’d love that. I-I mean, that would be nice.”

He gave her a dazzling smile. “Awesome! Well… I guess I’ll see you later.” He grinned and waved before closing the door behind him.

Marinette stood in the middle of the living room, frozen, hearing his footsteps descending the staircase. She felt like she was standing in the wake of a hurricane.

Adrien Agreste had taken time out of his busy schedule to come and eat breakfast with her, Marinette Dupain-Cheng?

Adrien Agreste wanted to hang out more?

What was happening?

Didn’t he like someone else? Was Marinette blind or wasn’t he acting like he felt something for  _ her? _ Was she deluded, or was this real?

Yet, as she stood in shock, one thing seemed certain. One detail, glimmering like a candle of hope with the potential to melt away Marinette’s anxieties.

Adrien was paying attention to her. Wasn’t that worth something?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Has anyone played poke war before? My friends and I used to play this all the time in high school and university (yup, we were very mature).
> 
> What's your favorite pastry?
> 
> Oh yeah, and I'm wondering what you thought about the chapter, too. Care to share your thoughts?


	8. A Favor Only You Can Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien is pretty sure Marinette is Ladybug, and giddy with excitement over it, indulges himself in testing this theory. In small, mostly harmless ways.

It wasn’t just the ‘madly clumsy’ comment that did it for Adrien. Once the idea had gotten into his mind that Marinette could possibly be Ladybug, one clue led to another, and soon, he couldn’t unsee it.

He started noticing all the big things. The obvious jet-black hair and blue eyes he should have paid attention to long ago. The fact that she was helpful to everyone, she was always positive, she hated liars, and she was ridiculously creative and resourceful.

Then he started noticing the little things. The way her eyes glinted when she was coming up with ideas, the lilt in her voice when she was confused or surprised, the tiny freckles on her nose, even the way she stood and walked.

He had made lists and charts of Marinette’s qualities compared to Ladybug’s and found a major overlap. Any differences—little things, like how he’d expect her to react to something—could easily be chalked up to circumstance. He dredged up all his memories of the events surrounding akuma attacks to pinpoint whether he’d ever seen them together. There was always an alibi, but he couldn’t remember ever seeing them in the same place, at the same time. Whenever he’d had to save Marinette, Ladybug always seemed to show up later.

Not to mention, the ‘three kisses’ thing. That had stuck out to him as odd; he hadn’t been able to forget it.

And Plagg had been strangely non-responsive when he pressed the kwami for answers.

It had only taken Adrien a couple hours after the idea entered his head to be ninety-nine percent convinced that Marinette was Ladybug. Or maybe more like eighty percent. The remaining twenty percent was the off-chance that he was jumping too eagerly on the first glimmer of possibility, and Ladybug was someone he didn’t even know in civilian life.

If Ladybug was someone he knew, though, she would _ have _to be Marinette. There was no doubt about that.

Now, what he was struggling with was _ what to do _ with this hunch_. _

Ladybug had made it clear that they kept their identities from one another for safety reasons, and in principle, Adrien agreed with her.

Yet, when it came to finding the girl he was hopelessly in love with, his heart _ yearned _for confirmation.

The result had been a half-baked, clumsy attempt to straddle the line between respecting the boundaries Ladybug had drawn, and finding answers for his self-gratification.

It was only to be expected that Marinette would completely misunderstand all the keywords and clues that he had awkwardly dropped during the jam session—after all, how was she supposed to know what he was after? As clever as Ladybug was, he realized that he was out of his mind to imagine that she could possibly put together his out-of-context, cryptic sentences to understand that he meant “I’m Chat Noir, and I’ve found you, my Ladybug! Just say the word and we can be in this together.”

Nonetheless, the _last_ thing he expected was to hurt her.

And though it still boggled his mind _ how _on earth his words could have affected her that way, her smudged eyeliner and red nose hadn’t made it past his notice, and the look in her eyes when he’d caught her hand by the dock was unmistakable.

To learn, the very next day, that she had thought he was talking about Kagami all along was not only eye-opening, but also opened up a whole slew of other intriguing questions.

Such as, why would that make her so sad?

Did he dare to hope that she felt the same way as he did, toward his civilian identity? Nah, that was wishful thinking… there must be some other explanation.

He had to admit, poke war was just an excuse to hold her hand, and he might have been putting her natural agility to the test to further confirm his suspicions. But the way she had gotten all competitive? Ahh, she was definitely Ladybug.

Adrien sighed, trying to hide a goofy grin behind the hand he was resting his cheek on, as he pretended to take notes. She was right behind him. If only he could turn around and talk to her. What could he possibly do with this knowledge? He was going to die if he had to just _ know _and keep it to himself. He’d never be able to focus in a battle again. 

By this logic, keeping their identites a secret was definitely _ not _good for Paris, or for them. Wouldn’t it be better to just reveal themselves?

… Nice try, Agreste. Not even his occasional rebellious streak or lovesick folly would convince him to blatantly go against Ladybug’s wishes. Plagg, maybe. But Ladybug, no. (He didn’t dwell on how wrong that was.)

“Dude, that’s the third time you’ve sighed since class started,” Nino said in a low voice when Miss Bustier’s back was turned. “What’s up?”

“Nothing,” Adrien answered dismissively. “Just bored.”

—

He didn’t really have a plan, he just wanted more confirmation.

“Marinette!” He stopped her in the courtyard twenty minutes before lunch was over, when he saw her come in through the double doors. His heart was in his throat. This was Ladybug. Ladybug!

She nearly crashed into another student as she fixed her eyes on him. “Y-yes, Adrien?”

Adrien, of course, made note of this with great interest. What else could explain this adorable behavior except that she liked him back? … Did he dare to dream?Fat chance, that would be too good to be true…

“You know that time you asked me for a favor only I could do?” Adrien said with a wink.

Marinette’s cheeks went pink. “A-about that, that was a mistake, I-I—”

“Don’t worry!” he reassured her. “No need to be embarrassed. It happens! And I don’t mind doing embarrassing things for you. Mistake or not.”

She seemed to turn even pinker.

Adrien coughed. He knew the words coming out of his mouth were ridiculous and not helping him at all, but this girl was doing weird things to him. “So, um! Anyway, now I have a favor to ask of _ you _ … and it’s something only _ you _can do! You’re the most crafty person I know, so I bet it’ll be a piece of cake.”

“Sure, wiz it? Uhh, what is it?”

… So. Cute.

“I ripped my shirt playing basketball during lunch. Can you help me? Please.” Adrien made a comically anguished face and put his hands together, pleadingly. “Father will kill me if he finds out. He won’t let me come back to school.”

It was true. He had ripped his shirt, and it had been an accident. His father _ would _be angry. And he did not know how to sew. This was not just a plot to put her civilian Ladybug powers to the test!

“Oh, um, sure! No problem!” Marinette was already digging in her tiny purse. Leave it to her to carry a sewing kit around.

Adrien watched her in wonder, eager to see what she would do.

“I have a needle, but no black thread. It’s okay, though, that’s easily solved! Come with me.” She took his arm and led him to a bench, motioning for him to sit down. “Where’s the hole?”

Adrien tugged the front of his black T-shirt to show her how the seam had ripped at the collar, right by his left collarbone.

Marinette nodded. Extracting a needle from her travel-sized sewing kit, she frowned at it for a moment in thought, before her eyes lit up with the signature glint of inspiration that he loved so much. Putting the needle between her lips, she dug a hand into one of her blazer pockets and turned it inside out. Using a stitch remover, she broke the thread of the pocket’s inner seam, pulling the longer end out stitch by stitch.

“What! Marinette, you don’t have to do that!” Adrien cried, horrified that she was ruining her own clothing to fix his.

Marinette paused for a moment to remove the needle from her mouth to talk. “Relax, Adrien. I can easily fix it when I get home, and no one’s going to know if a thread is missing from the inside of my pocket.”

“… Fair point… thank you.”

Once she had threaded the needle, she sat down beside him, taking the broken seam in her hands and turning it inside out. It was a relatively small rip.

Marinette’s bare fingers brushed Adrien’s collarbone as she started to sew the seam. She was close enough for him to notice two miniscule freckles on her right eyelid as she narrowed her eyes on the stitches, biting her lip in concentration. Adrien couldn’t help but recall that he had kissed those lips. His heart swelled. No wonder the kiss had been so perfect and memorable. She was _ Ladybug_. They were meant to be.

She was in the zone, so focused that he could hardly hear her breathing. On the other hand, he was fairly certain she would be able to hear his heartbeat, hammering wildly behind his ribcage. Or even feel it against the wrist she had rested on his chest for leverage.

It was getting difficult to breathe. Maybe this had been a bad idea after all.

Before he knew it, after a span of time that seemed simultaneously too long and too short, Marinette was cautioning him not to move as she trimmed the thread with the stitch remover, righted the collar, and beamed at him, announcing that it was done.

Leave it to Ladybug to fix everything up in a smooth, mostly painless process.

“Thank you so much, Marinette!” Adrien hugged her, unable to express his glee.

Was it just his wishful thinking again, or was she blushing as he pulled away?

They walked together to class. His collarbone tingled where her handiwork sat, the tiny stitches pressed against his skin like a secret. Meanwhile, his heart was in her pocket, where she’d harvested thread.

—

Alya caught him right before they entered the classroom, and pulled him behind the wall where the students inside couldn’t see.

“A word with you, Sunshine.” Her tone was firm. “Do me a favor, please.”

“What is it?”

“Unless you’re over Ladybug, don’t mess around with Marinette.”

“Mess around…?” The words caught Adrien off-guard, taking him down from his high.

“Just… be more careful with your words and actions.” Alya fixed him with a warning glare. “Or someone might get hurt.”

As Adrien sat in class, distractedly fingering his collar and trying not to be completely deaf to the lecture, he was forced to confront a thought that admittedly had not occurred to him yet.

What if Marinette _ wasn’t _Ladybug?

What if he was being reckless with his heart?

What kind of damage could a reckless heart do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys!
> 
> How was this chapter?
> 
> Was it too much internal monologuing?
> 
> Did you like it?


	9. Birthday Gifts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More shenanigans, silly puns, awkward friendship, and light angst.

“Milady, wait.”

Ladybug stayed her hand at the feeling of Cat Noir’s fingers around her wrist, and looked back questioningly.

“What if I found out your civilian identity?”

It had been a while since Cat Noir had brought up anything concerning their civilian identities, and Ladybug had almost started thinking he’d finally given up. “As if that would ever happen,” she said, rolling her eyes.

“How can you be so sure?”

“I doubt we know each other,” Ladybug scoffed. “I don’t know anyone remotely like you.”

“Maybe I act different as a civilian,” Cat Noir suggested.

“Drop it, kitty,” Ladybug said, hurling her yo-yo and pulling it taut as it looped around a far-off rail.

“Wait!” Cat Noir cried again, stepping in front of her. “Say I  _ did  _ figure it out. Somehow, by some chance. Would you want me to  _ tell  _ you?”

“No,” Ladybug deadpanned, gently pushing him aside, clear of her path. She’d already expressed her opinion on the matter, time and again. “There’s always the chance of you being wrong, anyway.”

Her earrings gave a beep, and without waiting for an answer, she let the yo-yo retract, launching into the air.

—

That afternoon, Marinette somehow found herself in Adrien’s presence again. She busied herself setting the ingredients on her kitchen counter so she wouldn’t be a blushing mess. The fact that Adrien had actually _fought _Alya to be her partner for this class assignment was just baffling to her. He’d insisted it was because he knew nothing about cooking after being raised with a personal chef, and was certain Marinette would be more helpful than Nino.

“Your mom is a chef! Two people with culinary backgrounds aren’t allowed to work together, that’s just not fair!” he had said to Alya, planting himself at Marinette’s side until her best friend gave up her claim.

Marinette set up her phone on the lap of a stuffed bear she was using as a makeshift stand and pressed the record button. As soon as the signature “recording” beep sounded, Adrien was in front of the camera, making silly, overly-dramatic poses.

“How’s it look?”

Marinette stifled her laughter at Adrien’s ridiculous behavior. “It just needs to be a bit higher and closer to the counter,” she replied, scooting the stool forward and grabbing a stack of cookbooks from a shelf to pile under the stuffed bear. She tested the new setup as Adrien did an impersonation of Jagged Stone. “Perfect.”

“Rock on!!”

The assignment was to create a “cooking show” video in English. Since the theme was supposed to be American, they’d decided to make pancakes.

Once the preparations were made, Marinette started the camera.

“Welcome to the Cat Café!” Adrien said in accented but decent English. “Today you’ll be joining us to—”

“Wait,” Marinette interrupted in French. “When did we decide to call it Cat Café?”

“Cats are cute. Everyone loves cats. It’ll bring in business!”

“Cat Cafés are like petting zoos with fifty cats. People will be afraid to find cat hair in their pancakes.”

“We’re not in Japan, we’re in America! Ooh, how about Black Cat Café? That has a ring to it.”

“No,” Marinette answered quickly. That reminded her of her flirty crime-fighting partner, not the person she wanted to be thinking of while she was with Adrien. An inexplicable hurt expression crossed Adrien’s face, and she regretted shooting down his idea so hastily. “I mean, sure, we can call it that. Doesn’t really sound like a breakfast joint though…”

“We can change it if you—”

“No! It’s good. It’s good. Let me just restart the video.”

She switched off the camera and glanced back at Adrien. He looked conflicted. “Black Cat Café,” Marinette affirmed with a grin, trying to shake off the weird tension. She pressed record.

“Welcome to the Black Cat Café!” Like he’d turned on a switch, the initial enthusiasm was back. “Today you’ll be joining us to cook delicious pancakes!”

—

Several takes and lopsided pancakes later, Marinette and Adrien were upstairs in her room to edit the video while nibbling on the fruits of their labor.

Or rather, Marinette was attempting to add captions to the video while Adrien seemed determined to distract her by asking about every little thing he saw in her room.

“What’s in here?”

“My sewing stuff.”

Marinette checked the spelling of the English word again, having forgotten when Adrien interrupted her train of thought.

“Where’d you get that little cat thing from?”

“It was a gift from my nonna.”

“How ‘bout that parasol?”

“It was my mom’s, from China.”

“Have you ever been there?”

“No.” Marinette fought the urge to growl in frustration. “Sorry Adrien, but I can’t focus when you keep asking me all these questions. Could you help me check the spellings in the script?”

“Already done. Look in the shared document.”

“What?! I’ve been double checking every single word! Why didn’t you tell me you’d already done it?”

“Sorry,” Adrien said sheepishly, and one look at him made Marinette forgive him instantly.

“Anyway, thanks,” she muttered, copy and pasting phrases from the shared document to the video file.

“What happened to all those totographs?”

“The what?” Marinette asked absently, absorbed in her task, then flushed when her mind caught up to recognize the blunder he was quoting. “Oh. Uhh…”

“Why’d you take them down? You’re not my fan anymore?” he asked playfully, his grin a little too wide to be completely believable.

“No,” Marinette answered, hiding her amusement when obvious disappointment flooded his features. “I’m your friend.”

He laughed. “I guess I prefer that.”

A temporary silence filled the room, which was such a contrast to Adrien’s barrage of questions that it drew Marinette out of her concentration. She realized with a degree of surprise that she  _ didn’t  _ feel completely flustered to be alone with Adrien, for what must be the first time ever.

Another question shook her out of her thoughts. “Is pink your favorite color?”

“No.”

Adrien looked confused. “But all your stuff is pink.”

“I was being sarcastic, silly. I thought it was obvious.” When he shot her a pretend glare for toying with him, it occurred to Marinette that he was fun to tease.

“What’s in here?”

Marinette looked up to see Adrien standing over the chest where she kept all her gifts for him. And it was open.

“Nothing!” she squealed, dashing across the room to slam down the cover and sit on it. She noted with dread that a cat-got-the-mouse expression had bloomed on his face. Great. Smooth move.

“Looked like  _ something  _ to me.”

“No! It’s just… junk!”

“Those looked too pretty to be  _ junk, _ ” Adrien countered.

“You didn’t see anything!” Marinette cried, her face heating up.

“C’mon, Marinette,” Adrien whined, making a Puss-in-Boots face. “You just said we were friends. Friends share.”

“Friends don’t have to share  _ everything!” _

This time, he definitely looked hurt.

Marinette caved. “Ok, ok, fine! They’re just… birthday presents.” She hoped he wouldn’t ask anything more. Let him think they were for her family or friends…

“For who?”

Great. If she lied and said they were for someone else, she’d have to rewrap them with different paper so he wouldn’t recognize them when she gave them to him. But what if he recognized the shapes? She didn’t want to lie to Adrien, anyway. And he was looking at her with such an innocently curious expression.

Marinette sucked in a breath. “They’re for the guy I like,” she said in a rush. Her face burned—he surely didn’t know it was him, but it was the closest to a confession Marinette had ever gotten. If she did manage to give him this year’s gift and he recognized it, he’d know! Maybe that was a good thing, though. She’d been  _ trying _ and failing to confess, after all. Marinette’s head swam as she gave up control over the situation.

He was staring at her with wide eyes, and blinked several times before his expression faded into something that looked a little—tender? “ _ All _ of them?”

“Uh—”  _ How can I lie to that face?  _ “Yeah? Forthenextthirtyfiveyears—”  _ No, stop, too much information!  _ Marinette flinched. The damage was done. He’d surely think she was crazy.

“Wow.” 

Marinette was taken aback by the awe in his voice, completely against her expectations.

“That’s totally something I’d do for the girl I love, if I’d thought of it.” His expression had gone wistful, but there was something achingly familiar in it that Marinette couldn’t quite place. “You’re brilliant, Marinette.”

His words were a reminder that a mystery girl, someone who wasn’t Marinette, had a hold over his heart. Suddenly, Marinette’s insides were full of thorns. Too hurt to feel embarrassed about the gifts any longer, she dejectedly made her way back to the desk and sank into the chair, wordlessly resuming her task.

Adrien followed her inquisitively, undoubtedly sensing her mood change. “What happened?”

“Let’s finish up,” Marinette said in a monotone.

“I meant it as a good thing,” Adrien assured her, his tone indicating that he was panicking a little. “I was serious!”

“I know,” Marinette responded without looking at him. She covered up her bruised feelings with a businesslike tone. “Could you pick a photo for the intro screen?”

“I’ll have it in a  _ flash. _ ”

Marinette narrowed her eyes on Adrien as he settled into the chaise longue, flipping through his phone gallery. “Was that a pun?”

Adrien held out the phone to show Marinette a shot Sabine had taken for them when she came up to get something for the bakery. In it, Adrien was smirking with his arms crossed, looking over at Marinette as she laughed, doubled over with her eyes closed. “I like our  _ camera _ derie in this one. Sets a playful mood for the video.”

Marinette giggled, despite her deflated mood. He was still at it with the puns. What a dork! “That’s a good one. It  _ lens  _ a little humor to the show.”

Adrien’s eyes lit up at her pun. “I  _ shutter _ to think that anyone would be bored watching our show,” he agreed, eyes crinkling with mirth.

“C’mon, Adrien, let’s  _ focus.  _ If we finish with time to spare, we can play some Ultimate Mecha Strike III, what do you say?”

“I sup _ pose  _ that’s a good idea,” Adrien said, cackling.

This was comfortable. Marinette decided setting aside her feelings to keep Adrien cheerful was worth it. His laughter was one of her favorite sounds in the whole world, and his bright eyes fixed on hers as he gauged her reaction to a bad pun was better than any modeling photo. The way he got excited whenever she shot one back was enough to make her like puns.

So this is what it was like to get to know Adrien Agreste, in all his beautiful, dorky, admittedly-a-little-annoying-at-times glory.

It didn’t matter if his heart was captivated by someone else. Marinette kept the thought tucked in her mind, hoping that the longer she held on to it, the more she’d believe it. This banter, this moment, belonged to her and Adrien. Something new and precious was developing between them, shared with no one else. Maybe it was just a beautiful friendship, but for now, that was enough.


	10. Puns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette makes puns, and it's driving Adrien crazy.

Adrien never expected that puns, of all things, would cause him so much grief.

“Looks like we’re together on this assignment again, Marinette,” Adrien said as he switched seats with Alya in literature class. This time, the pairs for the in-class activity had been arranged by Ms. Bustier.

“Maybe it’s _assign,_” Marinette said with a wink, her chin resting on one hand as she gazed over at him with a sly smile.

Yeah—a sign that he was doomed.

For one thing, the expression she was making right now really made her look like Ladybug.

For another, the way she acted around him had changed dramatically since they’d worked together on the cooking show project.

Adrien never really understood why she usually acted nervous around him, but he assumed it had something to do with his status. Though it wasn’t something he cared about, he wasn’t ignorant of how intimidating his surname and easily recognizable face could be, especially to someone who was trying to break into the fashion industry. So he’d figured that was it.

Maybe working together had revealed to Marinette that he wasn’t actually as cool as she’d thought. Or maybe he’d managed to get on her nerves enough that she’d gotten over being intimidated. But Adrien preferred to think it was because they’d made some kind of breakthrough in their friendship, and were closer now.

Whatever the reason was, she had started acting far more confident and playful toward him than he had ever seen her before. She seemed to be endlessly amused by the fact that he liked puns, and was jumping at any opportunity to make one.

Adrien couldn’t deny it—he _ loved _ it. Having Marinette in on his game was putting him on a sort of giddy high that had his mind racing for the next thing to make her laugh.

“We can outline the points for the introduction together then split up the paragraphs,” Marinette suggested. “What do you think?”

They were supposed to be collaborating on an analysis essay of the short story they’d read for homework.

“I think I regret leaving my coat at home,” Adrien replied, acting nonchalant. He was testing the waters. Again.

“Why? It’s warm out.” Marinette unlocked her tablet and pulled up the short story PDF.

“By the end of the period, the classroom’s gonna be filled with _ drafts_.” Adrien dropped the line with a smirk, watching Marinette’s reaction out of the corner of his eye.

He’d expect a groan, an eye roll, or a snide remark from Ladybug. This pun had been an especially lame one.

Marinette, though? Her cheeks were a fetching shade of pink and her eyes twinkled as she retorted, quick as lightning: “Just be careful handling the draft.”

“Why?” Adrien asked eagerly, knowing she had a punchline ready.

“I have a feeling it’ll be rough.”

The two of them stifled mischievous giggles, earning a suspicious look from Alya, but despite how much he was enjoying this, Adrien had a sinking feeling in his gut.

Because Ladybug _ never _played along with his jokes, treating his wordplay as a nuisance.

It wasn’t enough to make Adrien completely dismiss the idea of Marinette being Ladybug, but it struck him as out-of-character enough to bring the chances down to 70%? Maybe even 60%?

Of course, the recent drastic change in Marinette’s behavior toward Adrien proved that there might be hidden depths to her character that he didn’t know yet. Nonetheless, he thought he knew Ladybug. He could always predict her reactions. He’d assumed that if Marinette was Ladybug, the more natural she acted around Adrien, the more she’d act like Ladybug, rather than going in the opposite direction.

As they worked together on the outline, Adrien felt increasingly more conflicted as he observed the way Marinette spoke with graceful hand gestures, and the way her eyes got wide enough to show her whole irises when she was excited by an idea.

Watching her was almost hypnotising. It was really cute how animated and enthusiastic she could get over a school assignment. However, she _ might not _be Ladybug.

“Adrien?”

Adrien snapped out of his thoughts to realize Marinette was focused on him with a concerned gaze. “Huh?”

“I was asking if you could think of any way to prove the third point. It seems too vague. Maybe we should change it, what do you think?”

“Yeah, sure. Let’s change it.”

Adrien could tell Marinette didn’t really need his input—she already had a plan, and getting his approval was pretty much just a courtesy. Very Ladybug-like. Back up to 75%?

She crossed out the third point she’d scribbled in her notes and hastily wrote something else, biting her lip in concentration. Adrien had noticed that was a habit of hers and was finding it more and more endearing.

“You’re doing that lip thing again,” he teased.

“Sorry, what?”

“Uh… never mind,” Adrien muttered, ears burning when he realized he was about to admit he was watching her lips. Thank goodness she hadn’t heard.

As they worked together, Adrien dropped a couple more puns to see how Marinette would react. Maybe the first few times were just flukes. But each time, she immediately had a clever retort, seeming to enjoy the banter as much as he did. He had to admit, he was impressed by how quickly she came up with them.

Alya’s glares were also coming more and more frequently, and when Nino twisted slightly to pass Adrien a note, the feeling that he was in trouble only grew.

The note, written in a bubbly, feminine hand, clearly wasn’t from Nino.

_ Does this mean you’re over Ladybug? _it read simply. 

As soon as he read the note, Adrien crumpled it and shoved it in his bag hastily so Marinette wouldn’t see. Feeling harassed, he peeked at Alya, who was watching him over her shoulder with narrowed eyes. _ Ms. Bustier put us together! _ Adrien mouthed helplessly, gesturing at the teacher as Alya gave him a blasé look.

“What was that?” Marinette looked up from her work, confused by the gesture and thinking he’d meant it for her.

“Nothing,” Adrien said, breaking eye contact with Alya.

What did his feelings for Ladybug have to do with Marinette, anyway?

—

By the time the bell rang, signaling the end of the period and beginning of lunch break, Adrien felt like he was going crazy. He needed to just quit thinking about this. Feeling relieved to get a break from Marinette, he went straight to Nino and draped an arm around his shoulder.

“Nino, help me.” He said in an exaggeratedly haggard voice.

“What happened, dude?”

“I can’t—this is—just… can we go somewhere? And get a soda. Or something.”

“Food?”

“Yeah. Food.”

After buying gyros and sodas from a food stand near the school, the two boys went to the spot by the Seine that they frequented to chill and talk.

“So, dude, what’s up? Something going on between you and Marinette?” Nino prompted, getting straight to the point.

“Ugh, nothing,” Adrien groaned.

“So you dragged me out here for no reason?” Nino asked teasingly.

“I didn’t drag you, you wanted gyros.” Adrien intentionally avoided giving Nino the answer he was waiting for. As much as he wanted to confide in his friend, he was starting to realize how difficult it would be to actually explain the turmoil he was experiencing.

“Dude, you think I haven’t noticed you two being all chummy today? Did something _ happen _ when you did that project together?” Nino waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“NO! _ Nino!” _ Adrien cried, horrified. “Nothing happened. I mean, not really. I guess. We got closer, maybe?”

“Closer?” Nino grinned expectantly.

“Whatever you’re thinking, that’s _ not _what happened!” Adrien protested.

“So, what’s the deal?”

“I don’t know, she’s cool and fun to hang out with I guess,” Adrien admitted, feeling his cheeks heat up. “I mean, I knew that. Everyone knows that. But she just—started acting more like _ herself _around me I guess.” Yeah, that was it. He’d observed the way she was around other people. She was confident, cool, helpful, witty. It felt special to finally receive the same treatment as everyone else.

Or… was it the same? If she were Ladybug and acting that way toward Chat Noir, he’d probably call it flirting. Not that the puns were particularly flirty, just the mere fact that she was playing along with him instead of shooting him down—having Ladybug act that way toward him would be a dream come true. And _ that _ was the real issue at hand. Adrien slumped down, putting his head in his hands. He couldn’t even admit to Nino the _ real _reason he was freaking out so much today.

Either the awesome and adorable Marinette Dupain-Cheng was Ladybug, and he had found his dream girl, or—she wasn’t, but he couldn’t get her out of his mind.

“Hey, bro,” Adrien rocked sideways as Nino shoved his shoulder affectionately. “If you’re crushing on her, that’s totally cool. Don’t be ashamed!”

Adrien didn’t even know what to say. Did he like Marinette? He wanted to say Marinette was just a friend. He wanted to say the only person he’d ever like was Ladybug. Yet, that was the problem—he was becoming less convinced of these things himself, whether Marinette was Ladybug or not. Mostly, he felt confused.

Anyway, even if he wasn’t having a crisis right now, it would still be better if Nino just forgot about the whole Ladybug thing altogether, so he refrained from mentioning her. All he could do was mumble halfheartedly, “I’m not crushing on her.”

“Dude, you’re totally in denial. You look like a lovesick mess.”

Well. He was a mess, that was for sure.

—

Thankfully, he didn’t have to talk to Marinette throughout afternoon classes, but he couldn’t help but perk up every time he heard her say something to Alya, and had to fight the urge to turn around and see what she was doing whenever there was a break between activities.

_ The one I love is Ladybug, _ Adrien repeated in his mind, picturing her blue eyes that burned with cold fire, her sophisticated grace, the special smirk he only ever saw directed at him, her partner. He sighed, thinking about her ‘_My kitty’ _ and ‘_I trust him’ _ and ‘_Cat Noir and I are a team… unstoppable_.’ He could feel his insides melting the more he thought about her.

_ If Marinette isn’t Ladybug, she’s just a classmate and a friend, _ he told himself.

Yet, as the final class ended and she passed his desk, dropping a folded note with a faint smile, he caught her eye and his heart lurched in such a way that he could no longer say he was immune to Marinette. Whether she was Ladybug or not, she made his heart race and his breath catch.

He pocketed the note as he left the classroom with Nino, only unfolding it once he was safe from prying eyes in the back seat of his car.

_ Pretty sure I landed the best partner today. You’re a model student, after all. ;) _

Adrien traced the folds in the note with his fingertips as he read it several times. She surely hadn’t meant it as anything meaningful, just light wordplay between friends. But the word _ partner _—his mind strayed to Ladybug, encouraging his desperate hope that he’d found the girl he was searching for—and the pun—and the praise—it all went straight to his heart and left him feeling lightheaded.

He put the note back in his pocket and collapsed weakly against the seat.

Plagg would surely give him a hard time as soon as they got home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked this chapter. What did you think? ^_^


	11. FaceTime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's an important day, but Adrien is nowhere to be found.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Listen to the Audio Narration](https://youtu.be/05a39uVipLU)

For once, Marinette was early to class, but Adrien wasn’t there yet. Ten minutes after class began, she started getting worried. Especially since today was a very important day.

Marinette tapped Nino’s shoulder. When he turned around, she gestured at the empty seat beside him. “Where’s Adrien?” she mouthed.

Silently, Nino slipped his phone out of his pocket, tapped the screen a few times, and covertly handed it back to Marinette through Alya. 

On the screen was a text from Adrien sent at 3:37 a.m. that day.

** _Hey Nino, I hope this doesn’t wake you up, but I’m at the airport. I’m going to Japan… I just found out about it a couple hours ago when my dad woke me up and told me to pack. Can you take notes for me and pick up my homework? I’ll be back on Saturday._ **

Marinette did a double-take and read the message again. _ Japan? _“He didn’t say anything else?” she whispered at Nino. Ms. Bustier gave her a sharp look but didn’t say anything.

Nino shook his head.

Marinette handed the phone back dejectedly. Disappointment sat heavy on her chest. She thought about the two wrapped gifts tucked in her bag. She wouldn’t be able to give him either of them, or even wish him a happy birthday.

She could text him, at least. But what if he didn’t have cell service overseas? Marinette hid her phone behind the desk, balanced on her thigh, and unlocked it. Maybe he had LINE. It was a data-messaging app she only used for the group chat with her family in China—most of the conversation was in Chinese so she usually just ignored the messages.

She opened the app and scrolled through her contact list to check for Adrien. Lo and behold, there he was. His profile picture looked cute. She squinted at the thumbnail, wishing she could see it better, before opening a new message to him.

**wish i could say this to you in person, but…  
** **happy birthday!**

She added a bunch of celebration emojis, including some hearts, then deleted the hearts before sending the message.

As an afterthought, she opened her GIF keyboard and browsed for a cute happy birthday cat GIF.

Her chest thrummed as she pressed send.

He wouldn’t get the messages for a while anyway, if he’d left that morning. He was probably still in transit. Marinette slipped her phone into her bag and tried to pay attention to class.

—

After staying up until 1 a.m. finishing homework, Marinette finally got in bed and checked her phone for what felt like the hundredth time that day, to see if Adrien had responded to her messages yet. Nothing.

Feeling antsy, she opened Instagram to do some browsing before sleep.

And promptly froze when she saw the top photo in her feed.

It was posted on Adrien’s account at around 5 p.m.—midnight in Japan—a selfie of him pulling a small rolling suitcase through a pristine airport hallway. He was grinning broadly, but his hair was a bit mussed and his eyes looked tired.

The caption read:_ Just landed in Japan. It’s my first time! Sooo excited! I’m only in Shinjuku for a day but send me food recs in the comments!_

What had gripped Marinette’s heart was what—or rather, who—she saw in the background of the picture. It was Kagami, primly holding the arm of her mother, who seemed to be in mid-conversation with Mr. Agreste.

Marinette knew she shouldn’t jump to conclusions or make anything of it. She was well aware that Mr. Agreste was engaged in business with Mrs. Tsurugi. But the thought that Adrien was with _Kagami_ in _Japan_ on his _birthday,_ combined with the fact that he _still _hadn’t replied to Marinette’s messages despite having been on social media, and that he’d had to go away the very day she’d _finally_, seriously decided to confess to him, was all too much for her at that moment.

Imagining him on a thirteen-hour flight bumping elbows with Kagami was the last straw.

Pushing her phone away, she curled up under the covers and cried.

As if sensing her mood, Tikki, who had been dozing in the alcove above Marinette’s bed, awoke and came to float by Marinette’s cheek.

“Marinette, Marinette, what happened?” she cooed.

“Nothing,” Marinette mumbled, curling tighter.

“Something about Adrien?” Tikki asked, knowing her too well.

“He’s in Japan with Kagami.”

“There’s no reason to be upset about that, Marinette! It wasn’t even his choice, and you know it.”

Marinette knew Tikki was right, but it didn’t change how she felt. “It just isn’t fair,” she whined into her pillow, feeling childish, but too tired and emotional to exercise self-control.

Tikki stroked Marinette’s hair with her tiny, wing-like hands. “It’s okay to cry, but don’t start getting weird ideas about Kagami again.”

Suddenly, the air was filled with the sound of rapidfire notifications coming in on Marinette’s phone. Marinette went silent, daring to hope this was the response she’d been waiting all day for. Tikki fetched the phone and dropped it in front of Marinette, who sat up to check.

Six unread messages from Adrien.

**** ****_Wow, Marinette, you have LINE!_  
_Sorry I didn’t see your message until now. I don’t really check LINE_  
_Thank you!!_  
_Sorry to text you so late. Are you awake? _  
_Probably not  
_ _I hope not_

Marinette’s fingers shook a little as she typed a reply.

**hi… i’m awake**

** _What are you doing up????_ **

**just couldn’t sleep**

** _You should go to sleep… but since you’re awake right now I want to show you something!! Can I FaceTime you?_ **

Marinette panicked a little. She was in pajamas, and her face probably looked like a mess from crying. But, yes. She _ did _want him to call. She typed a quick response just so Adrien wouldn’t think she’d fallen asleep.

**hold on**

Flipping onto her belly, Marinette wiped her eyes on a corner of her comforter, pressed her cheeks and forced her face into a big smile to get her happy muscles working. She turned the LINE camera on selfie mode to check how she looked. It was so dark that her face looked ghoulish, illuminated only by her phone screen. She flipped on the ambient glow-light by her bed and swiped through the camera filters until she found one that made her look decent-to-cute.

**** ****_Ready? The shoot’s about to start_  
_So I have to go soon_  
_Sorry, you must be tired  
_ _Never mind, you should just go to sleep_

**ok call me**

Immediately, Adrien’s LINE profile picture filled up the screen as the phone began to buzz with an incoming video call. Finally able to see the details of the picture, Marinette only had a moment to appreciate how charming he looked in a black dress shirt with sleeves loosely folded at the elbow, and the way the light accentuated the perfect lines of his face, before remembering that she was supposed to pick up.

She touched the _ Accept _button and was greeted by Adrien wearing a yukata and a guilty smile. He was outdoors, but the background exposure was so bright Marinette couldn’t make out any details.

_ “I’m so sorry for keeping you up, Marinette!” _ Adrien said in a rush as soon as the call started. _ “I just thought about you right away when we got to the location for the photoshoot. I noticed you use cherry blossoms in your designs a lot. And this place is so beautiful! I guess I could’ve just taken a picture.” _He laughed as if he were nervous.

“I was awake, anyway,” Marinette reassured him, checking the thumbnail of her own face to see if her smile looked genuine enough.

Adrien squinted and moved the camera closer to his face. _ “Are you okay? Were you crying?” _

Oh no! How could he tell? “No! I’m fine!” Marinette said quickly, but in case her lie was obvious, she added, “Ok, maybe I cried a little, I was watching a sad Korean film, so…”

“Really? You like Korean films?” Adrien gave a short laugh, and Marinette inwardly breathed a sigh of relief that he didn’t seem to question her white lie. “I love them. Maybe we can watch one together sometime.” Wait, was he blushing? He’d invited her to watch a _ movie together? _

“Th-that sounds fun,” Marinette agreed, slightly stunned. “So um, what did you want to show me?”

Marinette caught the tail end of his smile widening as the camera swung away from his face to focus on the surrounding scenery. As the exposure adjusted, Marinette could see cherry blossom trees lined up as far as the eye could see, luscious cotton-candy pink. Petals were falling like snow, and even the grass was coated in petals, making the entire scene look like a pink paradise from another world.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” Adrien’s voice asked, warm and full of wonder. “They only bloom for about a week.”

“Yeah… wow,” Marinette replied, speechless. She watched the petals falling for a few more seconds, entranced, before regaining her mouth function enough to say, “Thank you for showing me this. It really is beautiful.”

Adrien’s grinning face was back on the screen. “I knew you’d like it. Sorry Marinette, but they’re calling me. See you when I get back.”

“Happy birthday,” Marinette said quickly, before he could hang up.

“Thanks.” Adrien’s expression was soft. “Now go to sleep, ok? Good night, Pr—um. Marinette.” He abruptly hung up.

Marinette blinked once. Twice. And remembered to breathe.

“That was sweet of him,” Tikki chirped.

“Yeah.” Marinette’s heart felt like it was going to flutter out of her chest. She couldn’t believe Adrien had seen such a beautiful scene and immediately thought about _ her. _

A few seconds later, three more notifications sounded. Adrien had sent her two photos and a text.

** _Decided to take pictures anyway. So you can see it again anytime you want._ **

Clutching her phone to her chest, Marinette curled up and buried her face in her pillow again. But this time, instead of crying, she was squealing. Quietly.

“You really need to get a hold of yourself, Marinette.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was the chapter? Was it difficult to follow which text was coming from whom?
> 
> The [cherry blossoms](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b5/Shinjuku_Gyoen_National_Garden_-_sakura_10.jpg) can look really impressive during the blooming season in Japan!


	12. "Adrien's Girlfriend"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien returns to Paris, and some news hits the press.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, happy Thursday (or Friday, in certain parts of the world). We're almost through the week! Enjoy today's chapter.
> 
> [Listen to the Audio Narrated Version](https://youtu.be/Lj-02pukZ_s)

Adrien wasn’t sure how he was going to survive classes on Monday. He was exhausted. Not only were his sleep patterns severely thrown off by being yanked halfway across the world and back in a matter of days, but there had been an akuma in the middle of the night, and he was running on less than two hours of sleep.

All he wanted was to go on autopilot and make it through the day so he could go home and sleep.

But as soon as he walked into the classroom and everyone went silent, he was filled with foreboding that his day wasn’t going to go as smoothly as he hoped.

“What’s going on?” he asked Nino.

Instead of answering, Nino got up, tugged on the bill of his cap—a nervous habit—and motioned for Adrien to step outside the classroom with him. They still had a few minutes before class started.

“You didn’t see the article, bro?” Nino asked as soon as they were out of earshot of the other classmates.

“What article?”

“Hold on.”

Nino slipped back into the classroom, and Adrien glanced in to see him ask Alya for a magazine. In his peripheral vision, he caught the flutter of heads turning to look at him. Mostly just curious, but a few of the girls looked inexplicably miffed.

His eyes were drawn to Marinette, who had her nose buried in a textbook, seeming intent on blocking out whatever was happening in the classroom, including him. That stung. She was close enough to talk to, and after being absent for a few days, he’d been looking forward to saying hello. It was only now that he was deprived of her attention that Adrien realized how natural and customary it was to greet one another in the morning. He noted with curiosity that she was wearing an oversized sweater instead of her usual trim attire, and her hair was loose, not in pigtails.

“Stop staring, dude,” Nino whispered as he tugged Adrien back into the hall with him and shoved a magazine into his hands. It was open to a full spread picture of—oh, great. This wasn’t good. And the font told him exactly which tabloid it was.

Adrien squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling the beginnings of a headache. And first period hadn’t even started yet. “Everyone knows this tabloid is full of lies,” he muttered.

“Doesn’t stop them from talking about it.”

Adrien let out a long sigh of frustration and opened his eyes to inspect the damage.

The headline wasn’t a good start.

_ ADRIEN’S GIRLFRIEND? _

The subtitle read:  _ “Adrien Agreste, teen model and son of fashion mogul Gabriel Agreste, spends his birthday in Asia with his secret girlfriend? How long have they been hiding their relationship?” _

Adrien felt disgusted. Usually the tabloids left him alone. The one good thing he could say about his regimented schedule was that he never did anything interesting enough for them to pick up on and misconstrue. It was just his luck that someone would manage to get candids of him in Japan, of all places.

The photo on the spread was of him and Kagami in Shinjuku National Garden, dressed in his father’s latest designs styled after traditional Japanese summer-wear. His arm was around hers as he pointed at something out of the frame with his other hand. They looked like a happy couple admiring the cherry blossoms.

Of course, it was a posed shot. The official photos were meant to showcase the clothing line which would soon be rolled out on the Japanese market for the summer festival season. But the paparazzo had a zoom lens that focused on their faces, giving the background a dramatic blur, and the shot was clearly styled to display Adrien and Kagami in a romantic light.

“It’s not that bad,” Nino said. “They didn’t say anything horrible about you.”

“But it’s not true!” Adrien said through clenched teeth. He scanned the article. It was written to make it seem like he and Kagami had hidden their relationship so his fans in France could keep their hopes up. “They even put in  _ quotes!  _ ‘I wanted nothing more than to spend my birthday with the one I love’—ugh! I never said that!”

“Everyone’ll forget about it in a week. And the gossip isn’t that bad.”

Adrien huffed. Regardless of whether the gossip was good or bad, or what his classmates thought of him, he hated the idea that it was shaped by an article full of lies instead of real interaction with him. He’d started attending public school because he wanted  _ real  _ relationships. He didn’t want to be some fake public figure, invented by a greedy reporter. He’d had more than enough of that already, and didn’t want it affecting his school life. He thrust the magazine back at Nino and went back in the classroom, taking his seat. A hush had fallen over the classroom again, this time blanketed with whispers.

“Hey, bro,” Nino said in a voice loud enough to distract Adrien from the whispers. “I got the new Infinity Star game, and it’s  _ sick. _ They added a bunch of new vehicles, and the graphics are mad smooth. You gotta come over and try it sometime.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Adrien gave Nino a tired smile. He couldn’t ask for a better friend.

—

Kagami texted him a minute after lunch break began, as if she’d just been waiting for the bell to ring.

** _Kagami:_ ** _ I’m outside your school. _

Adrien scowled at his phone. Didn’t she know better than to show up when the media was paying attention to them? If she had something to say, couldn’t she just call or text him? Reluctantly, he grabbed his bag and went to the entrance of the school, where Kagami’s red car was waiting. The window opened as Adrien approached, revealing her characteristically stoic face.

“You saw the article?” she prompted, without fanfare.

Adrien glanced side to side. They were off school grounds, so they weren’t safe from the public eye. “Can I come in?” he asked.

Wordlessly, Kagami rolled up the window, opened the car door, and scooted over, allowing Adrien in.

“I saw it,” Adrien grumbled, once the door had slammed shut. “They made up lies about us.”

“It doesn’t have to be a lie.”

“Kagami, I already told you that I’m not giving up on the girl I love.” Even as he spoke the words, Adrien felt a twinge of guilt, but not because of Kagami.

“Suit yourself.” Kagami crossed her arms. “But I’m not looking forward to the scandal they’ll spin to cover their tails when it starts becoming obvious that we’re  _ not  _ dating. It might be easier to just play along and break up publically, so we’re in control of the story.”

“I’m not going to let fear of the media dictate my life choices.” Adrien placed a hand on the door latch, ready to end the conversation. “If anyone asks you what’s going on between us, there’s nothing.”

“That’s cold,” Kagami answered with a raised eyebrow. “Aren’t we friends, at least?”

“Please,” Adrien urged, not in the mood for teasing. “I don’t want to feed this rumor.”

He opened the door to get out, and heard the sound of several flashes going off before a car zoomed away.

“Too late,” Kagami muttered.

—

The whispering only got worse as the day wore on, and a link to a new blog post landed in his text inbox, courtesy of Nino.

“Sorry, dude,” he whispered. “Just so you know what the current buzz is about. Don’t click on it, they don’t need the extra hits.”

The featured image was a shot of him getting out of Kagami’s car, with the caption:  _ Adrigami Undercover Lunch Break Rendezvous?  _

The name mashup was like the disgustingly saccharine cherry on top of this media sundae from hell. Adrien groaned and threw his phone in his bag. Plagg let out a muffled shout as it almost hit him, and Adrien coughed loudly to cover it up, attracting more looks his way. Wonderful.

For the first time ever, he was actually relieved when the final bell rang and he could retreat into the relative privacy of his limousine. Not only was he irritable from sleep deprivation, he was especially annoyed that school had managed to become an unpleasant experience. The only thing he could really do was wait for the rumor to blow over, and take comfort in the fact that his closest friends knew it wasn’t true.

At least, Nino and Alya knew. Marinette, on the other hand, had been avoiding him all day, without a question. He’d tried talking to her several times to check if it was just his imagination, but each time, she pretended she couldn’t hear him, needed to use the bathroom, or had some other excuse. Once, she even intentionally threw—not even dropped, but  _ threw _ —her books and made a show of scrambling on the floor to pick them up, just so she could be doing something instead of talking to him.

As soon as he got home, the first thing he did was transform into Chat Noir to escape from the prison that being Adrien Agreste had become.

—

After running around Paris until he was spent—which only took about ten minutes due to his already-fatigued state—he found himself crouched on a rooftop across from Marinette’s balcony, his heart aching.

It really bothered him that she was avoiding him.

He didn’t know why she was doing it, or what he’d done wrong. She  _ had _ to know the article was a lie. And Marinette, of all people, didn’t put up with lies. He counted on her to be on his side. He wished he could just go and talk to her, to tell her it wasn’t true and ask her what was going on. He contemplated transforming back and coming into the bakery, but he couldn’t work up the courage. Why would he come to her house just to tell her he wasn’t dating Kagami? Why would he think she even cared? How presumptuous would that be?

Thoughts swirling through his mind, he didn’t even realize his eyes had drooped shut until the swoop in his stomach and uncanny feeling of his limbs being free told him that he was falling.

A moment later, he impacted on the asphalt with a cry. He rolled over and climbed onto his knees, heart racing from adrenaline, and the entire side of his body throbbing with dull pain. The suit protected him from serious injury, but he’d surely have a nasty bruise, especially on his hip.

The sound of a window opening drew his attention upward. Marinette’s shocked face was visible, framed with tousled dark locks, still free from her signature style.

“Chat Noir?” she called out, panic in her voice. “Are you okay?!”

“Of course, Princess!” he answered in an exaggeratedly jovial voice, springing to his feet. “A cat may not always land on his feet, but that’s what the nine lives are for!”

Marinette looked unimpressed. “Be more careful.”

Chat Noir was tickled by the way she nonchalantly told off a superhero. Then again, if she were Ladybug, that would make perfect sense. As if magnetized, Chat Noir found himself pole vaulting to her balcony before the thought even consciously occurred to him. A moment later, her trap door opened and she clambered out.

“You didn’t have to come over,” Marinette said with a pout as their eyes met. “I heard you fall, and I was worried, that’s all.”

“When I saw that the princess was in her tower, I couldn’t help but drop by to pay a visit,” Chat Noir said, acting playfully suave. He noticed that her eyes were red, as if she’d been crying—again. He bit back the words,  _ ‘Were you watching another Korean movie?’  _ Chat Noir didn’t know about that. Instead, he took a step closer and asked, “Why were you crying?” He lifted her chin ever-so-gently, giving her plenty of freedom to move away if she wasn’t comfortable.

He felt the tender skin under her chin move as she swallowed. “No reason,” she answered, trying to sound light. Her lips stretched into a smile that didn’t look sincere.

“I’m good at keeping secrets.”

Marinette let out a breath. Chat Noir dropped his hand, giving her space.

“Ok,” she said, as if resigned. She sank down to the ground with her back against the short balcony wall, and gestured at the lounge chair, inviting him to sit. “You must be tired. I’ve never seen you miss a step before.”

Instead of taking the chair, he sat down beside her. The concrete pressing into his back felt cool through the suit. His side and hip still hurt, but this moment was like a glimmer of light in a torturous day.

“Sure you’re okay?”

“Just bruised, probably. I’ll be fine. So, what happened, Princess?”

“It’s just the guy I like,” Marinette sighed. “There was an article about him dating someone else. I know it wasn’t true, but … I don’t know … it still hurts. It’s hard to explain. And I feel horrible because I ignored him all day and maybe he thinks I’m upset with him, but I’m not. I just… felt too sad to act like the friend I’m supposed to be.”

Chat Noir tried to regulate his breathing to seem normal. She was talking about him, without a doubt. So she  _ did  _ like him. What should he say? What would Chat Noir say?

“I’m such a terrible friend,” Marinette said, tears coming to her eyes again. She buried her face in her arms.

“No, you’re not!” Chat Noir protested. He lifted one hand, hesitating before rubbing her back consolingly. He felt her tense, then relax under his touch. He felt sorry that he’d managed to hurt her, but she was the one beating herself up about it. “You’re a wonderful person, Marinette. … From what I’ve seen anyway.”

Her sobs increased, as she cried in the hysterical way people do when they’ve been holding back emotions for too long. He wanted to say something encouraging about her crush. But that crush was  _ him _ . What if she wasn’t Ladybug? How could he encourage her as Chat Noir, only to reject her as Adrien? That would be too cruel.

Marinette leaned in to him, like a child seeking comfort, and he wrapped his arms around her, unthinkingly dropping a kiss on the top of her head, as if it were the only natural thing to do.

_ Why did he do that? _

His heart was revolting against the rational part of his brain. So what if she wasn’t Ladybug? She liked him. He liked her. They could go on dates! They could—

Chat Noir leaned his head back against the concrete, trying to clear his mind. Now was not the time to be thinking about kissing Marinette. Not when he was supposed to be soothing her heartbreak about her crush on  _ him _ . He realized the reins were in his hands, to make her happy by reciprocating her feelings, or to break her heart even more. The responsibility weighed on him.

Did he like her? Was it fair to only want to date her if she was Ladybug? Marinette was sweet, friendly, talented, pretty, funny, and smart. Everything he would seek in a girl. Would it be so bad to just date her? Even if she wasn’t Ladybug?

As he thought about it, Chat Noir felt sick. He undoubtedly loved Ladybug. He wanted to say he loved her with all his heart. The only reason he’d even started paying attention to Marinette was because he thought she  _ was  _ Ladybug. But he wasn’t sure, and that was tearing him apart. Trying to separate them, and the thought of dating someone who  _ wasn’t  _ Ladybug, made him feel like a parasite was gnawing at him from inside out.

He looked down at his arms holding Marinette, her loose hair spilling over the smooth black material of his suit. He felt somehow disconnected from his body, and the balcony felt like it was swaying back and forth.

He was really tired, and his headache was getting worse.

He could stay a little longer, until Marinette was feeling better. But that would be the end of it.

Maybe she was Ladybug—maybe not. But he could wait to find out until Ladybug was ready to reveal her identity. No more prying or testing. No more toeing the line. He’d already fallen in too deep with Marinette. It was dangerous to go any further.

And it wasn’t fair to lead her on. Suddenly, Alya’s warnings came to mind and hit him with clarity.

They could be friends at school, like before.

No more calls, no more hanging out.

That was better than giving her false hope, right?

This could turn out okay… right?

—

The first things Chat Noir noticed when he began to stir were the throbbing in his hip, the soreness of his bones jutting into concrete, and the way his bangs were slightly plastered to his forehead with a film of sweat. The sun was slanting, but evening hadn’t fallen yet. How much time had passed?

Marinette was asleep, her head on his chest, one arm draped lazily around his waist. Her body heat warmed him in the suit, making him feel sticky in the spring afternoon. She must have been really tired. Was it from fighting the akuma, too?

Chat Noir dismissed the thought. He couldn’t let these thoughts eat at him anymore.

At least his headache was gone.

As he lifted her shoulders slightly, trying to extract himself, Marinette’s eyes slitted open.

“I have to go, Marinette,” he murmured gently.

“Huh? … oh—sorry! I’m sorry!” Marinette scrambled away from Chat Noir, looking mortified and a bit disoriented. “I was pretty tired.”

“No worries, I get it. Go inside and get some rest.”

Marinette nodded, picking herself up slowly and shuffling to the trap door.

“Thanks, Chat Noir,” she said as she opened it. “You’re a good friend.”

“Adieu, Princess.” Chat Noir gave her a little salute and a faint smile before bounding off into the Paris golden hour, reality crashing into him with every leap toward the mansion. Write an essay for literature. Read two chapters for history. Complete worksheets for math and chemistry. Two hours of piano. One hour of Chinese revision. He’d wanted a nap in bed, but the one he’d just taken against cold concrete would have to be enough. Seemed like it was going to be a late night again—or an early morning, depending on how he looked at it.

For now, he wouldn’t have to think about facing his classmates at school tomorrow.

Leaping in through his window, he braced himself to clean up the mess that was Adrien Agreste.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started Carousel of Life thinking it was going to be an entirely fluffy and silly series, but as per usual with me, it started taking a dip into Angstville. Actually, I had all thirty chapters outlined at this point, and it was going to get even more angsty, but one commenter on my YouTube channel said something that made me realize what I had planned was _far_ darker and more painful than I intended, so I re-outlined the whole thing and basically switched tracks—back to a fluff piece. (I mean, sure, there's a bit of angst here and there, but only to make the fluff all the sweeter.)
> 
> I think it was for the better. Let me know your thoughts, as usual.


	13. Good Luck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien finds it difficult to stick to his resolution. His inner turmoil comes to a head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Friday! Hope you enjoy this chapter.

As a general rule, Adrien wasn’t superstitious, but when Nathalie brought Marinette’s lucky charm to him along with a stiff apology, he felt like it was an omen. The red thread had frayed to the point of breaking, and the beads were loose. Supposedly it had gone into the wash by mistake. So it was really Adrien’s fault for not remembering to take it out of his pocket.

“There’s one missing,” he told Nathalie, accepting the pieces with a bitter taste in the back of his throat. “A little blue bead.”

“I’ll have housekeeping check for it,” Nathalie stated before stepping out backwards in her usual formal manner and shutting the door behind her.

“Just ask her to fix it,” Plagg drawled in a bored voice.

“I can’t,” Adrien lamented.

“Why not?”

“It seems wrong to ask her for anything when I’m just going to break her heart.”

“See? Didn’t I warn you about human love? Cheese is so much simpler.”

Adrien retrieved from his desk drawer a small robin’s-egg-blue Tiffany’s pouch that used to belong to his mother, and placed the deconstructed charm inside.

“Do all Cat Noirs have such bad luck, Plagg?”

“The girl you’re into likes you back. What’s unlucky about that?”

“The one I love is Ladybug!”

“I don’t see why you have to be so loyal to Ladybug when she keeps rejecting you.” Plagg drifted lazily in front of Adrien’s face on his back, legs crossed, as if taunting him.

“Well—_maybe _ it’s because she’s Marinette and she likes civilian me!” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Adrien realized he was still associating Marinette with Ladybug, albeit indecisively. The situation was reminding him of [Schrödinger’s cat](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schr%C3%B6dinger%27s_cat)—his mind was fluctuating between the two simultaneous possibilities, and it was driving him crazy. He grit his teeth and shook his head violently in a vain attempt to clear his head.

“And you’re just gonna wait around until she decides to tell you who she is, when you could just be dating her already? Tsk, tsk, all that lost time! It’ll really be a shame if they turn out to be one and the same.”

“Stop playing with me, Plagg,” Adrien said stubbornly. “Yes, I’m going to wait!”

“What’s the point? Bakery girl is real sweet.” Plagg’s little fangs glinted in the light. “Why don’t you just forget about Ladybug?”

“I can’t forget about Ladybug!” She was his first love. His dream girl. Plus, how could he just forget about her when he still had to see her practically every day? It would be a hopeless endeavor. He sighed longingly. “She’s just so… Ladybug. There’s no one like her.”

“You think Marinette is like her.”

Adrien had nothing to say to that. Plagg was right, but that didn’t make it okay. He wouldn’t want to date Marinette as a second-best or replacement for Ladybug, even if they did have similarities.

“Once you try a new cheese, it’s not that hard to forget your old favorite.”

Adrien scowled, fed up with Plagg’s prodding. “Enough with the advice. I thought you didn’t know anything about human love.”

“Oh, I know about it. I know that it makes no sense how you torture yourselves over nothing and overcomplicate everything when you could just be happy.”

“It’s not ‘nothing,’ Plagg. Can you blame me for being tortured if I don’t even know whether I’m in love with one girl or two?!” Adrien’s voice rang out, louder than he’d intended, and he fell silent, listening for footsteps in case Nathalie had heard his outburst. Nothing. Whew.

Plagg seemed to have gotten the hint. Instead of retorting, he floated down onto the couch and turned on the TV.

Adrien slumped into his desk chair, still clutching the Tiffany’s pouch, his mood dampened with regret over the broken charm. He could try fixing it himself, but it wouldn’t be the same. Marinette’s handiwork was so perfect, he’d never get it right.

He tried to summon up the willpower to start his homework. Maybe he should transform and climb to the top of the Eiffel Tower to jump-start his brain.

“Just ask her to fix it, kid,” Plagg coaxed, more sympathetically. “You haven’t talked to her as Adrien since you got back. Maybe you’ll feel better if you just talk to her.”

“I’m supposed to be doing the opposite of talking to her,” Adrien muttered, feeling miserable.

“Just go. I’ll stop bothering you about that Serbian cheese for the rest of the month.”

Part of Adrien’s heart warmed at this. Plagg showed his love in weird ways, but Adrien could tell his kwami really cared about him.

Maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea to visit Marinette. After all, he had something to give her from Japan and definitely didn’t want to repeat trying to give it to her in front of the whole class. His afternoon was clear of activities. Now wasn’t a bad time.

—

Adrien stopped in front of the back door to Marinette’s apartment, just short of ringing the doorbell. He was clutching the little blue pouch and an immaculately folded and taped paper bag from a Japanese department store, feeling out of place.

“I should just go home,” he said out loud, and turned around.

“Uh-uh, kid, I did not miss my favorite TV show just so you could chicken out,” Plagg said, zooming out of Adrien’s shirt pocket.

“Plagg, get back in there!”

“Not until you ring that doorbell!”

“Argh!” Adrien slammed his finger onto the doorbell before someone could round the corner and see the tiny floating cat. Plagg flashed Adrien a smug expression, then disappeared back into his shirt.

Adrien heard footsteps approaching, and the door opened, revealing Marinette in a cute yellow sundress. He’d never seen her in yellow before, but it suited her and made her eyes look even brighter.

“Did you make that dress?” he asked, forgetting his intro.

“U-um, yes?” Marinette blushed.

The memories of the previous afternoon and Marinette’s unknowing confession were fresh in Adrien’s mind, and he suddenly felt strangely shy around her. “It looks nice,” he said. “I mean, the design. And it looks nice on you, too.”

Wait. Maybe she’d think he was flirting. He blushed at the thought. Maybe he shouldn’t compliment her anymore, even if he did think she looked great. He didn’t want her to get the wrong idea.

“Thanks,” Marinette said. “Um… why are you… I mean, can I help you with something, Adrien?”

“Oh! Yeah,” Adrien said, remembering why he was here. He held up the Tiffany’s pouch. “I’m really sorry, Marinette—I broke your good luck charm. It got in the wash by accident. I feel so bad. It actually meant a lot to me… I mean, it’s the first gift I’ve ever gotten from a friend, so… Could I possibly ask you to—”

“Oh, of course!” Marinette cut off his polite groveling, understanding what he wanted. She held out the door and moved aside to allow him passage. “Come on in.”

Adrien stepped into the stairway, following Marinette’s lead. The guilty feeling that he shouldn’t be here chewed at him. Why had he let Plagg talk him into this?

The apartment was empty—Marinette’s parents were probably both in the bakery. Once they were in her room, he stood in the middle of the floor, unsure what to do with himself, as she extracted a spool of red string from a craft drawer. When she held out a hand to him, he placed the little jewelry pouch in her palm, admiring the way her hesitation evaporated when she had a problem to solve.

“Thanks, Marinette.” He hovered behind her shoulder as she poured out the beads on her desk with a series of clicks and started arranging them in order. “I’m _ beady beady _ grateful!”

Marinette giggled. “How could I refuse such a _ charming _request?”

‘Charming’? She must have only said that for the pun. Or, was she flirting? Adrien didn’t feel right playing along anymore. Wait—was this how Ladybug felt when he flirted with puns? So, maybe the way Ladybug reacted to his jokes didn’t mean that she had no taste for puns. What if Ladybug’s mystery boy flirted with puns? Would she like it then?

Marinette liked Adrien… of course she would like his flirting. If Ladybug liked Chat, she would like his flirting, too. Once again, the dots in Adrien’s mind started to connect, drawing the conclusion that Marinette _ could _very well be Ladybug after all.

—No. No, no, no. Too presumptuous. Wrong train of thought. Trying to derail his mind and put a stop to the unwanted thoughts that kept flooding in, Adrien told Marinette: “There’s one missing. The blue one from the top.”

“It’s okay, I have extras,” she assured him, her voice warm. She opened another small drawer and took out a clear pouch of blue beads.

As Marinette cut the thread and started tying knots into it, the silence started feeling awkward, and Adrien said the first thing that came to mind, desperate to fill it.

“This is so typical, right? I break things and you fix them.”

Wait, _ what? _ Where did that come from?

“Huh?” Marinette was giving him a weird look.

Change of topic!

“Um—oh! By the way, I got you something.” He placed the small department store bag at the edge of her desk. He already felt regret that he hadn’t gotten her something better, like a pretty necklace, or some rare fabric. “It’s nothing special, just ingredients—dried cherry blossoms and cherry blossom powder that they only sell in Japan. I’m sorry, it’s not really a present, and it’s kind of lame… it’s just, I tasted a cherry blossom macaron while I was there, and I couldn’t help but think of you, because you make the best macarons. I’m _ pawsitive _ yours would be better than the one I tasted.” He winked, but his playful expression dropped when he saw the blush appear on her cheeks and realized he was acting flirty again. He’d crossed the line _ again. _

“Thanks, Adrien,” Marinette said with a reserved yet sweet smile. “Don’t apologize—it’s not lame at all. I love trying new macaron flavors, and I’ll make sure to let you do a taste test. Thank you so much for thinking of me!”

Adrien couldn’t control the blush that rose to his cheeks.

“I have something for you, too, when I’m done with this,” Marinette added. She turned back to the beads, stringing them one by one. Silence filled the room again.

Adrien fidgeted. He wasn’t sure if Marinette was still upset about the previous day, but she didn’t seem like her usual bubbly self, so he figured she probably was. What with the article, the knowledge of Marinette’s feelings, and the potential Ladybug situation, Adrien felt like his relationship with Marinette was on shaky grounds and slipping, and her polite reticence made it glaringly obvious that something was wrong between them. He didn’t know how, but he desperately wanted to fix things.

“Marinette, I’m really sorry,” he blurted out before thinking it through. “If I offended you somehow. It seemed like you were avoiding me yesterday.”

Beads clattered to the desk as Marinette fumbled and dropped the open end of the charm. She spun around to look at Adrien. “I-I wasn’t avoiding you. I mean, it wasn’t your fault. You didn’t offend me,” she said. A smile was plastered on her face, but he could see pain in her expression. “I’m the one who should be apologizing.”

“No, Marinette! What could you have to apologize for?”

She didn’t answer, but her smile faltered.

Adrien felt like a jerk, asking as if he didn’t already know exactly how Marinette felt. He’d been the one to hold her shaking shoulders as she sobbed about it yesterday. He really shouldn’t have come. He didn’t even deserve to apologize to her. Why would he listen to Plagg? How was this supposed to make anyone feel better? He was only going to hurt her more.

He opened his mouth, intending to say he was sorry for bothering her but had to be on his way. And that she could bring the charm to school tomorrow after fixing it. And to thank her for always being so helpful.

Instead, what came out of his mouth was a question that had been running through his mind more often than he cared to admit:

“Who were the two people you kissed before me?”

He could feel the blood rushing to his head as he said the words, and his hands felt clammy. From the beginning, the coincidence had seemed uncanny, and when he started suspecting Marinette was Ladybug, it was just another clue—a _ big _ clue—that made him wonder if their stories lined up. But he had _ never _ intended to actually ask her. His brain screamed that it was the absolute _ wrong _thing to say. But once again, his heart had taken control and wasn’t letting go.

“Um. W-what?” Marinette was staring at him wide-eyed, as if she couldn’t believe what he’d asked. Adrien couldn’t believe it either, but, too late. 

“You said you kissed two people before the play. Three meaningless kisses. Remember?”

“Oh…” One bead, which had been slowly rolling toward the edge of the desk, dropped off, but she made no move to get it. Her brow furrowed, as if remembering something unpleasant. “It was one person. A friend. I was… helping out a friend.”

Her response made Adrien’s skin prickle. He was supposed to stop prying. He was supposed to stop thinking about this. But the piece fit. He propped a hand on Marinette’s desk, leaning in to command her full attention. He had to know. “Who was it?”

Marinette met his eyes. “I can’t tell you. Anyway, it doesn’t matter—I don’t have feelings for him. I told you… it didn’t mean anything.”

Something flared in Adrien. Of course she wouldn’t tell him who it was. If she was Ladybug and talking about Cat Noir—ah, the irony. She _ did _ have feelings for him! His mind was filled with the words he wanted to say. _ Was it Cat Noir? Was it me? You kissed _ me _ three times? You do like me. You do have feelings for me. _He wanted it as much as a parched person wanted a glass of water.

But he couldn’t say anything. Breaking Ladybug’s trust by forcing a reveal was one step further than he was willing to go. So instead, he leaned forward, hovering mere inches from her lips like a question.

She didn’t move away.

Guiding her chin with tentative fingertips, he pressed his lips to hers, shyly at first, then with increased boldness when he felt her respond.

_ You don’t have feelings for me, Marinette? _ The thought drifted through the haze of his mind with a hint of triumph.

Her lips were as soft as he remembered, and everything he dreamed a kiss with Ladybug would be. In that moment, he was almost sure. She was his Lady. His Bugaboo. The love of his life. That would make this okay. More than okay… that would make this _ right. _

He sighed into the kiss, wanting more, but she pulled away. When their lips parted, the trace memory of her scent remained in his nostrils, sweet and subtle, making him want to get closer and just breathe, seeking another whiff.

It was in the afterglow of the kiss that the doubts started pouring in again. _ Adrien, what are you doing? _

“Adrien…”

Marinette’s voice was heavy with emotion, reminding Adrien that he was _ hurting Marinette _ by giving in to his curiosity and suspicions. For all he knew, she could just be a classmate, just an innocent girl, not Ladybug! A wonderful, sweet girl he was hurting because he couldn’t just leave well enough alone. She didn’t deserve this.

“I guess that meaningless kiss count just bumped up to four?” Marinette’s words, spoken in a wry tone, drove straight into Adrien’s heart like daggers.

He hated how she assumed that the kiss meant nothing to him, since obviously it meant something to her. Couldn’t she tell it _ wasn’t _meaningless for him? That kiss contained all the words he longed to say, all the questions he wanted to ask, but couldn’t. That kiss was the culmination of all his longing, his confusion, his desperation.

“Why do you think I kissed you, Marinette?” his agonized question came out like a whine.

She wouldn’t meet his eyes. “... I don’t know. Why did you?” It was barely a whisper, almost a plea.

He wanted to _ say _something that would douse her pain. He wanted to assure her it wasn’t meaningless. But he wasn’t ready to speak those words, wasn’t read for what that assurance would imply.

The words that he wasn’t allowed to say felt like heavy rocks in his throat. This was killing him.

He didn’t even understand what he was feeling.

All he had ever wanted was to love Ladybug.

When had things become so complicated?

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled. He didn’t even know what the right thing was to do in this situation. He just needed to get away before he could ruin things even more. Forgetting about the lucky charm, he took several steps back. “I need to go. I forgot I have ah—um, a piano lesson. Bye, Marinette.”

Without even waiting for her answer, he turned around and fled. Down the attic stairs. Down the second staircase to the side door. Into the nearest alley.

“Plagg, claws out.”

And he ran, wishing the wind rushing past him could blow away his troubles, the contradictory emotions devouring his heart like termites, the images of Marinette’s blue eyes filled with tears that _ he _had caused, the guilt of all his misdeeds.

Was this his fate?

The holder of the kwami of destruction?

To destroy whatever he touched?

Usually he saw the ring on his finger, and his double life, as his freedom—but today, it felt like both a blessing and a curse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .... Oops.
> 
> (I promise you, fluff is coming.)
> 
> What did you think?
> 
> I hope the [Schrödinger's Cat](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schr%C3%B6dinger%27s_cat) reference (which isn't in the audio version) made sense. For anyone who doesn't know, it's a thought experiment/paradox about quantum mechanics. I'm not going to explain in detail, but the basic gist is: There's a cat in a box, and the location of a quantum particle either triggers a switch that kills the cat, or not. Without observing the location of a quantum particle, all possibilities coexist, so the cat is simultaneously alive and dead. Without observing the particle, the cat can't conclusively be alive or dead (Sorry if I'm butchering the summary, physics enthusiasts.)
> 
> In Adrien's mind right now, the only thing he's certain about is that he loves Ladybug. So if Marinette is Ladybug, then he's in love with her, but if she isn't, he isn't, but since he has no way to be sure which one is true, his mind is in a confusing state of simultaneously "I'm in love with her but I'm not." Also, he sometimes reasons as if she is, and sometimes not; the thoughts are clashing, and it's hard for him to get anywhere conclusive, since he doesn't know the truth.
> 
> I hope that made sense. My mind keeps coming back to that analogy when I enter Adrien's headspace, so I added it in this time around.


	14. The Poem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien isn't speaking with Marinette, and she's freaking out over it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my dears. Sorry about my lack of updates recently. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Wednesday morning, Marinette was forced to confront the fact that school had somehow become more nerve-wracking than an akuma attack. And the sole source of her agony was the blond-haired boy who sat in front of her in class.

She almost missed her stagnant, long-suffering, unreciprocated crush on Adrien. It had been fun cataloguing the glances and words exchanged between them, and entertaining daydreams. It was one of the ways she was shamelessly, self-indulgently, a normal teenage girl.

Not that she regretted having a real relationship with Adrien. Not at all—on the contrary, she was proud of herself for how far she had come with him in the past couple of weeks, in terms of being able to function around him. Besides, she was delighted that he felt comfortable enough to show his true self around her, and the more she learned about him, the more she loved. Yet, having to interpret his behavior to figure out what was going through his mind was  _ very  _ unnerving, and the kiss wasn’t even the first confusing signal from him. As of today, despite all the progress she had made, she was back to hovering around square one: unable to keep her cool around him.

All morning, Marinette either busied herself with frantic note-taking or chatting with Alya, burying her inner turmoil under a chipper demeanor. 

She didn’t know what to make of the fact that Adrien hadn’t even  _ attempted _ to speak to her yet, though a palpable suspicion chewed around her solar plexus that he regretted the kiss. Of course. It must have been a mistake, and now he was creating extra distance between them to compensate for the temporary lapse in judgment. Otherwise he would’ve at least said his usual hello. 

Every time her eyes grazed his back, her stomach flipped, with a mixture of longing, heartbreak, and anxiety caused by all the unanswered questions swirling in her mind.

Toward the end of the period, Ms. Bustier handed out a quiz, and Adrien turned around to pass Marinette the stack of papers. When her eyes landed on his perfect features, dusted with a pink hue that softened the green of his melancholic almond eyes, she felt like she received an electric shock to her core. Her fingers almost missed the stack as she reached out to take it, and her gaze must have looked wild, darting here and there to avoid making eye contact.

Even as she hunched over her quiz, nervously twirling her pen in her fingers, she could still see him twisted toward her, stalling before turning to face the front again. Guilt chafed at her. She knew she was acting cold, but then,  _ he  _ had been the one to kiss her then run. How was she supposed to act?

This wasn’t fair. Pen hovering over her blank quiz, Marinette’s eyes finally strayed to the white of Adrien’s cleanly pressed shirt. She glared at his shoulder blades. Why would he do that and complicate everything? Did he kiss her because he thought  _ she  _ wanted it? She was fine being his friend if that’s what he wanted. Now everything had gone weird. This was not okay. Unless...

Suddenly Adrien turned around again, as if he’d felt Marinette’s eyes boring into him. Hurt flitted over his face as he undoubtedly caught a shadow of the dark expression Marinette chased away with a poker face.

“No collaborating,” Miss Bustier reprimanded, noticing the movement.

Adrien turned back, leaving a sick feeling in Marinette’s gut.

—

“Marinette, you wanna have lunch outside today?”

“Sure.”

Once they were outside, Alya set aside her tray and grabbed Marinette by the shoulders, looking her squarely in the eyes.

“Girl, talk to me. What’s going on between you and Adrien? Why are you acting so weird all of a sudden? Is it that article still? You know it wasn’t true.”

Of course Alya had noticed. “Things just… got complicated, that’s all.”

“What do you mean, complicated?”

“As in, I don’t know what’s going on between us anymore.”

“Why? Did something happen?”

“He—nothing.”

“He what?!”

“He… kissed me.”

“WHAT?!”

“Yeah.”

Marinette picked up a cherry tomato with her fingers and put it in her mouth.

A series of half-expressions passed over Alya’s face as she inspected Marinette. She seemed to go through a whole internal debate before she spoke. “You don’t seem as happy about it as I’d expect.”

“That’s just the thing!” Marinette exploded. Even though she was so confused she could barely express her thoughts, she’d honestly been waiting for the opportunity to vent. “He didn’t say anything. It’s not like he confessed or anything, so I still have no idea how he feels about me, and he didn’t even explain why he did it.”

“Rude!”

“He just said  _ sorry.  _ What does it mean, Alya?” Marinette wailed. “He regrets it. I just know it. And now he doesn’t even want to be friends anymore! He didn’t even say a word to me today! I just don’t understand why he would kiss me in the first place if he was going to feel so bad about it! Doesn’t he like someone else?” Her stomach clenched as she said it. The more she thought about it, the more bewildered she felt. Giving in to her rising anxiety, she faceplanted into Alya’s waiting shoulder.

“Oh, Marinette.” Alya sighed, rubbing Marinette’s back. Indignation seeped into her tone as she muttered under her breath, “I warned him!”

“What should I do?” Marinette mumbled into the fabric of Alya’s shirt. “This is torture.”

“Ok, let’s be reasonable.” Alya sounded like she was half trying to convince herself. “We should give him a chance to explain himself before jumping to conclusions.”

The word  _ we _ stood out as a formidable reminder that Alya would not just stand by and let her friend’s feelings be toyed with.

“In other words… talk to him,” Alya added, more bluntly.

_ “Talk _ to him? I can’t talk to him!” Marinette squeaked, lifting her head. “He practically ran away from me! Maybe he’s embarrassed and will hate me if I bring it up! Maybe he hated kissing me! Auughhh, how can I face him every day? I’m gonna have to transfer to another school…”

“Chill out, girl.” Alya shook Marinette’s shoulders gently. “It was just a kiss.”

_ “Just _ a—”

“He wouldn’t hate you. This is Adrien we’re talking about, remember?  _ Talk _ to him! Didn’t you say you were ready to tell him how you felt?”

“That was before—”

“Hold on, girl, let me finish. Why don’t you just tell him how you feel about him? If he feels the same way and that’s why he kissed you, then, great! Happy ending. Otherwise, I’ve got a bone to pick with him.” Alya practically growled the last sentence.

Marinette was silent for a couple of beats, mulling over Alya’s suggestion. “… Okay.”

“You’ve got a good chance, girl. I’ve seen how he’s been acting around you lately, and he  _ kissed  _ you, for goodness’ sake. Maybe he’s over that other girl. You’ve got this.”

Marinette gave her friend an uneasy smile, but despite her misgivings and her discomfort over the words ‘the other girl,’ Alya’s optimism had boosted her morale. “Sure, Alya…”

—

Marinette crossed the street from home to school slowly, as if there were weights attached to each leg. “Help, Tikki,” she whispered to the kwami tucked in her purse. “I don’t think I can do this.”

“You can do it, Marinette!” Tikki chirped, pouring support and devotion from her big, blue eyes. “You’ve fought akumas! It’s just Adrien. He’s just a boy.”

Marinette nodded, but her rebellious mind protested,  _ What do you mean  _ just _ Adrien?!,  _ mild panic lapping at her like waves on a shore. Her heart pounded wildly, making her feel dizzy. “I can do this,” she declared out loud, trying to overpower her thoughts.

She had her backpack on, with the two birthday gifts she’d prepared for Adrien hidden inside. One was from the top of the pile Adrien had already seen. The pile of gifts she’d told him were for her crush. He’d recognize it for sure.

The other was a spur-of-the-moment gift she’d made after she heard of Alya and Nino’s birthday celebration plans for Adrien that weekend. Supposedly, after much bargaining, agreeing to stringent conditions, and signing over his next month’s worth of weekends to whatever his father wanted him to do (as if the leash weren’t already tight enough), Adrien had already gotten a provisional approval to go.

Adrien should be wrapping up his fencing lesson now. Marinette would catch him on his way out. The car would probably be waiting for him, and while Marinette would have preferred a more romantic setting, like maybe the Pont des Arts at sunset, she couldn’t stall any longer. An empty hallway or a courtyard bench would have to do.

She felt like she was hyperventilating.

The clashing of sabres filled Marinette’s ears as she cracked open the gates, hoping to avoid notice. Despite the distance, Kagami was easy to spot in her red fencing uniform. Marinette idly wondered why she never changed to the standard D’Argencourt Academy uniform, figuring it had something to do with her family honor. On some level, she understood, but it still struck her as annoyingly pretentious.

The person combating her now moved with agility and confidence that could only belong to Adrien. On top of that, Marinette had practically memorized his silhouette—the way he held his shoulders, the curve of his calves, the way his ankles joined his shoes. She didn’t need to see his face to know it was him.

Their swordplay was a breathtaking sight. Even a novice could tell they were the best students of the class.

She couldn’t help but feel jealous that Kagami shared this with Adrien. It was a world she couldn’t enter. They were connected on a level that Marinette couldn’t aspire to. Even if fencing had little to do with romance, the sight of them sparring still weighed Marinette down with the glum possibility that Kagami was more compatible with Adrien than she was.

Then again, she had the same thing with Chat Noir. The synchrony, the physical closeness and compatibility. Yet, she didn’t have feelings for him. She liked  _ Adrien.  _ Circumstance didn’t constitute feelings. (It was a comforting thought at that moment.)

Plus, he had kissed Marinette, not Kagami.

So even if the way Kagami’s helmet hid her face reminded Marinette of Adrien’s love poem, which contained the only precious clues she had of the recipient of Adrien’s affections—

_ I wonder who you are underneath that strong disguise _ —

And even if those words  _ red suited girl _ and  _ hair as black as night _ rose to the forefront of her mind as perfect descriptors of Kagami—

Which brought to mind another line of his poem,  _ Every day we see each other and I hope that you’ll be mine— _

Even if Adrien had once sat her down and told her directly that  _ Kagami  _ was this pretty girl he saw every day and had started viewing as more than a friend—

And even if Adrien hadn’t ever really said that he  _ didn’t  _ like Kagami that way—

Marinette had to remind herself that Adrien hadn’t even  _ met _ Kagami yet when he wrote that poem.

The session ended, and the students started wrapping up, removing helmets and milling around the courtyard. Marinette was still between the large double doors, head and shoulders barely peeking in. Kagami took off her helmet and immediately looked her way.

_ Ah _ , Marinette realized as their eyes met and something struck her even from across the courtyard.  _ Her eyes are brown. _

Brown.

The poem was about a girl with bluebell eyes. Not Kagami. Further confirmation of what she already knew.

Tikki had thought the poem was about Marinette, but Alya said he liked someone else. Could Adrien have had a change of heart since he wrote it? Was the girl he wrote it for the same person Alya mentioned he liked? If not Kagami and not Marinette, then who…?

Black hair, bluebell eyes… who else matched that description?

Who else wore a ‘disguise’ and a red—

Marinette’s breath caught in her throat as the whole world seemed to come to a shattering halt.

_ Ladybug. _

He had written the poem about  _ Ladybug. _

Amidst the fog of uncertainty that Marinette had been wading through all day, this realization hit her with the clarity of the sun peeking out from behind clouds.

Now Adrien was looking. Despite the distance, his face seared itself into Marinette’s mind, and she knew that image of him would be imprinted there for months, if not years—his eyes wide and eyebrows raised in curiosity, cheeks flushed from the exercise, mouth slightly open, a completely unguarded expression. Unaware of the truth she’d just discovered about him.

He had a crush on Ladybug? Was it a celebrity crush or a… real one?

But Adrien’s gaze, while striking and honest, lasted only a split second before his eyes slid away. He came up to Kagami, placed a hand on her shoulder, and turned his back on Marinette in what seemed to be a deliberate move. Kagami said something and Adrien laughed—that pure, gleeful laugh that Marinette had fallen hopelessly in love with when his umbrella closed on her.

Watching Adrien’s back and his hand on Kagami’s shoulder, Marinette felt like she’d eaten something rotten. Or maybe like her heart had been ripped out and smeared into the ground with the twist of a toe.

Adrien was walking away from her, heading to the locker rooms with Kagami. 

He had seen Marinette, for sure. The way he’d turned away seemed too deliberate, unnatural. As if he didn’t want anything to do with her, and wanted to make that clear to her.

He hadn’t said a word to her all day.

He regretted the kiss.

He didn’t want to be friends anymore.

Marinette retreated through the entrance as she watched Adrien’s back disappear into the locker room. She let the heavy doors close with a dull thud and a click.

She felt like the hope and confidence that had been building in her had all been sucked out when Adrien turned his back on her, leaving her weak and drained.

“I can’t do this, Tikki,” she sighed, beginning her descent down the stairs.

“Marinette, it’s not like you to give up so easily.”

“I’m not. I just… not today.” 

No, she wasn’t giving up on him. It would take a lot more than a snub to extinguish her feelings. But despite what she’d learned, it was abundantly clear that there was something wrong between her and Adrien. The wrongness hung over her like a malaise. She didn’t fully understand what it was, but it wasn’t the time or the place to confess to him. They needed to talk, and it wasn’t a talk they could have furtively in a school hallway on a time constraint. 

Maybe during the trip, they’d find an opportunity.

For now, she’d nurse the emotional injury she had sustained and bide her time.

—

“Hey, Alya.”

“What happened, girl? Did you talk to him?” Alya’s voice sounded like it had a yawn behind it. She’d probably been in bed already, but she didn’t complain.

Marinette rolled onto her side, reaching out to hug her cat body pillow as she pressed the phone into her ear with her other hand. “No. But can you tell me one thing?”

“Sure, what is it?”

“Adrien’s crush… it wasn’t Kagami, right?”

Alya snorted on the other end of the line. “He’d have more of a chance with Kagami. Nope, not her.”

“Oh.” Again, that hint that whoever it was was beyond Adrien’s reach. Anxiety churned in Marinette’s chest. It wasn’t bad anxiety, but it wasn’t good either. More like the ambiguous anxiety that accompanied an unsolved problem. The impatience for pieces to fall into place. “Thanks, Alya. Sorry to keep you up. See you tomorrow.”

“See you! Hang in there, girl.”

Marinette ended the call and buried her face in the cat pillow.

It  _ must  _ be Ladybug. Who could be out of supermodel Adrien Agreste’s league—supposedly, anyway—but a superhero?

That conclusion opened the door to another thought. Did Adrien know she was Ladybug somehow? Was that why he had kissed her?

Maybe he’d found out on the field day after all?

The thought chilled her—she’d been too careless. She’d have to do some probing to see if he knew or not. If he did, he might be in danger. This was serious..

But none of this explained why he seemed to be angry with her—or avoiding her at least.

How did he develop a crush on Ladybug in the first place? How many times had she saved him? Marinette ran through her mental archives. Two… no, three? Maybe more?

They’d barely even spoken! It must only be a celebrity crush. Or maybe the near-death experience at Montparnasse tower had left an impression on him.

Marinette whined into the pillow as one thought led to another at a dizzying pace. “Tikki, why does this have to be so complicated?”

“Don’t worry, Marinette. Sometimes complicated situations have simple solutions.”

Marinette really hoped so, in this case. Plugging in her headphones, she put a Jagged Stone album on shuffle and closed her eyes, hoping to drown out her maelstrom of thoughts and calm down enough to sleep.

This situation could get better. It  _ would  _ get better. No reason to despair.

The upcoming weekend might be her big chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? How's your day going?


	15. Love Rivals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Looking for an escape from his own thoughts, Adrien decides to drop in on Luka for a one-on-one jam session.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my dears. Sorry for the gap in between updates. I've been focusing on writing the latest chapter of Carousel of Life in order to update my YouTube channel, but life has been pretty busy as of late so it's been slow-going (and it's five-thousand words... that's going to be a long read @_@). Thank you so much for your comments, kudos and bookmarks!
> 
> [Listen to the Audio Version of This Chapter Here](https://youtu.be/SIEYX9rl4Po)

When Adrien got home, he dropped his bag and immediately fell backward into his sofa, letting his knees buckle against the armrest.

It was the second day of not talking to Marinette, and he felt like he was turning into a monster.

He wasn’t  _ trying  _ to be cold, but the way he was forcing himself to act around her was so against his instinct and usual behavior that he was positive he was coming across that way.

It seemed to be having the reverse effect on him, too. The more he told himself not to look at her, the more he wanted to look. The more he tried to squash thoughts of talking to her, the more his mouth itched to speak. So the whole endeavor was basically pointless.

“I can’t keep doing this, Plagg,” he declared in a monotone, putting the back of one hand against his forehead in a dramatic gesture.

“Then don’t,” Plagg answered flippantly, knowing exactly what he was referring to.

“You don’t understand,” Adrien sighed, closing his eyes.

“No, I really don’t.” Plagg landed on Adrien’s chest. “Just start talking to her again.”

“No, you don’t get it. I’m doomed. All day I… I can’t help but eavesdrop on her and Alya, to find out what she likes, what she thinks of things. I get excited when I hear her voice in the hall, before she comes in for class. I started paying attention to pink things because she likes pink. I had a Clara Nightingale song stuck in my head all day just because I heard her hum a line. I talked to  _ Nino  _ about fashion hoping she would overhear. Nino!—Nino doesn’t even care about fashion! I… it’s bad, Plagg. I think I’ve started thinking about her even more than Ladybug.”

“So you like her. Congrats on figuring that out, buddy.”

“But—no! I’m not supposed to like her!”

“Whyever not?”

“I love Ladybug.”

“You went on a date with Kagami, and there was nothing wrong with that, right?”

“That was different! I—I was frustrated and I was  _ trying  _ to like her so I could get over Ladybug. And it failed, anyway.”

“So you’re okay with forcing yourself to like someone other than Ladybug. But you’re not okay with  _ actually  _ liking someone?”

This gave Adrien pause. When Plagg put it that way, it did seem a bit absurd. But he wasn’t wrong! His feelings made sense. He struggled to put it into words. “I guess… I feel like I’m betraying Ladybug?”

“It’s not like you and Ladybug are an item.”

Adrien put a hand on his chest in mock pain. “Ouch. No need to rub it in. Even still, I’d like to think I have a faithful heart…”

It was tempting to rationalize the whole situation with the likely possibility that Marinette could be Ladybug. But for the sake of his own mental health, and out of respect for Marinette, he had vowed to put such thoughts out of his mind until he had absolute proof.

“Doesn’t seem like you have much of a choice, kid. ‘The heart wants what the heart wants,’ after all.” Plagg repeated the words Adrien had once said, in a singsong voice.

Irritation flared in Adrien’s chest at being mocked. “Plagg… I don’t appreciate that,” he growled, trying to keep his cool.

“What can I say, kid? You’re being ridiculous.”

“Well—I’m sorry my petty little love life is so  _ ridiculous _ to you,” Adrien snapped. He considered Plagg to be his closest friend, even closer than Nino, but the kwami’s dismissive attitude was especially abrasive when he was earnestly trying to confide in him.

“What’s  _ ridiculous, _ ” Plagg drawled, “is that even when you start liking someone more than Ladybug, and she likes you back, you push her away because you’re stubbornly stuck to the  _ idea  _ of loving Ladybug.”

Adrien felt like he’d had water splashed onto his face. Was  _ that _ what he was doing? He had a sinking suspicion that Plagg was right, but he wasn’t about to admit it.

“I take it by your lack of response that I hit the nail on the head.”

Instead of answering, Adrien muttered, “Claws out,” taking immense pleasure in the look of dread that wiped the smirk off Plagg’s face.

—

Chat Noir perched near the top of the Eiffel Tower, wishing he could feel more of the wind against his skin as he dangled his legs and hugged a support beam with one arm.

After a spin around the city, strutting on the walls of Pont Neuf complimenting the passersby, and breakdancing for the children at the park, his conflicting emotions had settled slightly and he had retreated into the stratosphere to brood and avoid his responsibilities.

He knew he wouldn’t get a lecture about using the miraculous for personal reasons from Plagg—more likely just a complaint for making him work overtime—but his conscience still niggled a bit. At the moment, though, the last thing he could bear was to be shut up in his room with nothing to distract him from his thoughts.

Cheering up the citizens was enough of a good deed for this to count as an altruistic outing, wasn’t it?

As he sat, though, loneliness started to seep through the bubble of cheer earned from all the interactions, and his mind turned to wishing Ladybug-Marinette were enjoying this view beside him.  _ No, Adrien, _ he rebuked himself,  _ You don’t know she’s Ladybug. … But … I wonder if she’d be impressed by an elevator ride up my baton? _

Oh gosh, his mutinous mind was at it again.

From his high vantage point, Chat Noir spotted a familiar boat moored nearby, with a familiar blue-haired individual sitting alone on the deck. Lazy chords wafted his way on the breeze.

A perfect diversion.

He took his time getting down the Eiffel Tower. With the city akuma-free, there was no reason to hurry, and his photo shoot wasn’t for another hour.

De-transforming behind an ad post obnoxiously graced by his own face, Adrien swept a hand through his hair, stretched, and made his way toward the music.

—

“Luka!”

The young man looked up in mild surprise as Adrien waved enthusiastically at him from the bank of the Seine.

“Adrien! Hey. Wanna jam?”

“You bet!” Adrien bounded across the gangplank. He hadn’t seen Luka since the last group jam session, and this would be their first time playing together one-on-one.

Luka nodded at the piano without taking his hands off the guitar. “She’s all yours.”

“Thanks, dude.” Adrien took a seat at the bench and, fanning his fingers over the keys, began to compose a melodic counterpoint to the wistful arpeggios Luka was plucking out.

For the first time in days, Adrien felt like he could breathe outside the mask. A light wind ruffled his hair, and Luka smiled at him over the guitar. No one knew he was here—there were no expectations, no instructions to follow. Just him, a friend, and music. He couldn’t remember feeling this peaceful before in his life.

“That was… therapeutic,” Adrien sighed as the impromptu number came to a close. He sat back on the bench, stretching his spine and legs. “If this is your life, man, I really envy you,” he laughed.

“My life has its perks,” Luka admitted modestly, one arm resting atop his guitar as if he were ready to start playing again at any moment—a pose that seemed natural for him. “And yeah, sometimes it helps to empty your emotions into a song.”

“I usually stick to playing from a score.”

“You kept up pretty well.”

Adrien shrugged. “Somehow, that was… exactly what I wanted to play.” He’d let Luka take the lead, but he hadn’t had to reach far to find the right accompaniment. Though the song had no name and no one would remember it, it perfectly expressed what Adrien had been feeling.

Luka surprised him by answering with a smirk, “I could tell.”

“... You’re good,” Adrien admitted, not at all referring to his musical ability.

“I guess I have a knack for reading people.” He strummed a few chords on the guitar, as if to draw the attention away from himself. Letting the last notes linger in the air, he looked up. “So, you wanna play another song, or are you gonna tell me what’s bothering you?”

“Am I that obvious?” Adrien asked sheepishly.

Luka just raised his eyebrows with a soft, lopsided smile, like an invitation.

“You don’t wanna hear about my problems,” Adrien murmured. At any rate, he couldn’t explain any more than he could have to Nino.

“A song, then?”

“How ‘bout I ask you a question, instead?” Adrien asked tentatively.

“Go ahead.”

“How do you know if you’re in love with someone?”

Adrien thought Luka might laugh at his question, but he didn’t. Instead, he just smiled and stared off into the distance, seemingly lost in thought.

“Well,” he started slowly, as if choosing his words carefully. “I’m sure it’s different for everyone. There’s only one person I’ve felt that way about, so I’m not exactly the best person to ask.”

“How does it feel for you, then?”

“Ever since the day I met Marinette, she’s never left my mind,” Luka professed softly.

Adrien’s heart constricted. He’d suspected there was something between Luka and Marinette, but this was the first clear confirmation he’d heard of Luka’s feelings.

Luka continued. “Sometimes I think about her—the conversations we’ve had, what I’ve found out she likes, music I want to play for her—but even when I’m doing or thinking of other things, she’s still there in the back of my mind. As if it’s the two of us looking at the world. And I wonder what she’d think about this, or say about that.” He smiled tenderly. “It’s just like having a song stuck in my head.”

“That’s… romantic,” Adrien murmured, his own voice sounding bland in his ears. Even though he’d been the one to ask, the answer was anything but reassuring. The way Luka spoke about Marinette, so reverently and sweetly, made Adrien’s conflicted heart feel like a wretched brew of emotions in comparison. If he’d been asked to pick on Marinette’s behalf between himself and Luka, Adrien would have picked Luka without hesitation. He felt completely unworthy.

Luka shrugged forlornly. “She doesn’t feel the same way.”

Adrien was taken aback by the certainty with which Luka admitted that. He felt even worse now, knowing  _ he  _ was the one Marinette liked. Almost as if he were stealing from Luka. “I have something horrible to confess,” he blurted out.

“What?”

“I think I feel that way about two girls,” Adrien divulged, wincing at the way the words sounded. Yet, it felt somehow cathartic to expose his own faults. “Is that normal? Or—can that be normal?”

Luka let out a dry chuckle. “I think I’d go crazy if I had two songs stuck in my head at the same time.”

“Maybe I’m already crazy.”

“You wouldn’t be the first. Love tends to do that to people.”

“I told you it was horrible.”

“Hey… I never said it was horrible,” Luka reassured, kindly. He strummed a chord. “How ‘bout another one?”

Adrien nodded and straightened his posture, hands poised over the keys. This time, Luka started with a rolling line at an upbeat tempo. Adrien could feel his spirits lifting as he joined in.

As the last cadence came to a close, Adrien kept his foot pressed on the damper pedal, silently revelling in the way the chord faded into the open air like a flock of birds disappearing into the horizon. He exchanged grins with Luka.

Before suddenly remembering his photo shoot. 

“Oh, snap,” he muttered, standing quickly and whipping his phone out in panic to check the time. Three missed calls from Nathalie, and he needed to be at the location in exactly seven minutes. It was tight, but not too bad—he could make it with Plagg’s help. “Sorry dude, I need to go. But this was fun, we should do it again.”

“Yeah, thanks for joining me, Adrien.” Luka rose to grasp his hand in a brotherly gesture. But when Adrien took his hand, Luka pulled him close and warned in a low voice, “You better not hurt Marinette.”

Adrien spluttered. “What? But—how did you—”

Luka relaxed his grip and regarded Adrien coolly. His expression wasn’t threatening, but there was firmness in his eyes. “Like I said, I’m good at reading people. Anyway, I’m serious. Marinette is an extraordinary girl, and her happiness is my priority. That’s why I’m not going to make a move on her… yet, anyway. But something tells me she wasn’t completely indifferent to my confession. If I get wind that you’ve done anything to hurt her, I will  _ not  _ hesitate to show her how she deserves to be treated.”

Confession? He’d told her how he felt? Adrien realized his hands were clenched and forced himself to relax. “I’d  _ never  _ want to hurt her,” he vowed emphatically. He meant it, but the guilty feeling in his gut told him he already was. “Sorry man, I really need to go.”

“Let’s play again sometime,” Luka saw him off with a cheerful wave.

As Adrien broke into a sprint for the nearest place to transform, his heart hardened with determination. Marinette deserved better than his half-hearted, reluctant feelings for her. Something had to change. He had some serious reflection to do.

Equipped with his suit and racing to the shoot location at the speed of lightning, Chat Noir suddenly saw a giant ball of debris rising above the skyline, collecting everything in its wake. Oh, no. Veering off in the direction of the akuma, he felt the involuntary flutter in his chest at the thought that he’d see Ladybug again shortly, wondering if she was already in the heat of battle.

Ah, he was in trouble, in more ways than one.

He’d have to figure out an excuse for Nathalie later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, what did you think of this chapter? I don't see Luka being a real 'rival,' because I believe that he just wants Marinette to be happy and knows that she likes Adrien. So, the part at the end is mostly him trying to give Adrien a little kick in the rear to get his head on straight and make a decision so he doesn't end up hurting Marinette. And he knew that threatening to sweep Marinette off her feet would light a fire under Adrien to spur him into action. Did it seem in-character? Luka is so chill.
> 
> It was fun writing Adrien and Luka together. I didn't really expect it and definitely did not ship Lukadrien at the time (nor even now, really), but when I was writing this chapter I kept getting hit with waves of their chemistry and this serene feeling between them. I had to keep reminding myself this is supposed to be an Adrienette story and tone it down, haha. I think you can hear it in the audio. XD Or maybe not, I don't know. My voice acting sucks. -_-; (But I'm doing my best. Forgive me.) (I really like the guitar music behind Luka's monologue, though.)
> 
> Anyway, until next time. Wish me luck finishing this series. I must finish!!


	16. Beach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien, Marinette, Alya, and Nino go to Deauville.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! So, their trip spans two chapters. Here's part one.

Marinette slid into the window seat of the train, grateful that there was enough space to fit her duffel bag with extra leg room. Adrien was standing in the aisle, looking lost in thought. He was wearing an orange hoodie with the hood up, trying to blend in and not be recognized, but if the whispering and giggling passengers were any indication, he wasn’t succeeding. Marinette smiles wryly—he could have picked a more subtle color than orange, and the Gabriel logo emblazoned just under the drawstring didn’t help. At least no one had come up to ask him for an autograph yet.

She attempted a glance at him, expecting him to ignore it or divert his eyes, as he’d been doing for the past few days every time she looked his way. She still hadn’t figured out why he was avoiding her, and whether he knew she was Ladybug or not—not that she’d had much of a chance to ‘test’ him when they weren’t on speaking terms.

Surprisingly, though, he didn’t give Marinette the cold shoulder. Instead, he met her eyes with a genuine, if shy, smile that caught her off-guard and stole her breath away. He gestured at the seat beside her and opened his mouth, about to speak—

Only to be interrupted by Alya barreling into him. He yelped as her elbow collided with his side.

“Whoops, sorry Sunshine, miscalculated a bit there.” Alya didn’t sound entirely sincere, as she plopped herself down unceremoniously in the seat beside Marinette. “Hey, girl. You excited?”

“Yeah,” Marinette replied absently, eyes trailing after Adrien longingly as he disappeared into the row in front of them. He _ was _ about to take the seat beside her, wasn’t he? The thought, paired with the smile he’d given her, ignited hope in Marinette that things would be okay between them.

“Dude, I can’t believe this is happening. You’re actually here, and we didn’t even have to kidnap you,” Nino exclaimed, falling into the seat beside Adrien and immediately reclining the chair. He pinched Adrien’s arm. “You’re not a hologram, are you?”

Adrien snorted. “Yeah. I was shocked that Father let me go. Of course, I’m not allowed to get burned or tanned, my bodyguard is with us, I still have to take my Chinese lesson tomorrow over Skype, _ and _ I have to make a recording with the hotel piano to prove to my father that I practiced.” Marinette couldn’t see him over the seat back, but the eye-roll was evident in his tone. “Still, though, I’d take these conditions over house arrest any day! You guys are the _ best _ for planning this.”

“Oh, it was nothing,” Alya waved off. “Planning was minimal. We got super lucky that my dad had business in Deauville _ this _ weekend.”

Her father, sitting in the row behind the girls with Viktor, Adrien’s bodyguard, was attending a zoology convention in Deauville that weekend, and had agreed to let the teens tag along to spend some time at the beach. It wasn’t the season to swim, but promised to be a fun outing nonetheless.

Marinette felt wary leaving Paris for any reason, but with the new high-speed train, Deauville was only an hour away, and she had enough saved up to buy a return ticket at any time in case of an akuma. Though Tikki had warned Marinette that it was risky to go, she couldn’t miss Adrien’s birthday celebration. One hour away should be fine. Chat Noir could keep it at bay in the meantime, and the miraculous cure would take care of any potential damage. Yes, she had some pent-up anxiety considering the worst case scenarios, but she prayed that Hawkmoth would give them a break this weekend.

“Are you gonna be okay? With him?” Alya whispered, nodding her head in Adrien’s direction.

“Yeah, it’ll be fine,” Marinette whispered back. “Maybe he’s not mad at me anymore. I mean… he smiled at me.” She chewed her lip nervously.

“I’ve got your back, girl,” Alya insisted, protectively. She’d been increasingly more vocal to Marinette about her irritation with Adrien as the days crept by and he still hadn’t explained himself. “I won’t let anyone hurt my bestie. Especially not Adrien Agreste.”

“Shh, keep it down,” Marinette hissed, glancing Adrien’s way. Alya was already speaking in a low voice, but he was only a few feet away, and the train was relatively quiet. “This trip is for _ him, _ anyway. Let’s just leave the drama at home and make it a good memory for him.”

“Always so self-sacrificing, Marinette,” Alya sighed. “Your happiness is important, too. I’ll keep him away from you if you want. Subtly, of course.”

“No, no.” Marinette shook her head. “It’s okay. Really. I’m not upset, anyway. Just—confused. I’m hoping we’ll have a chance to talk this weekend and clear things up.”

“All right, girl. Just let me know if there’s any way I can help.”

“Thanks, Alya. You’re the best.”

—

Twenty minutes into the ride, Alya was already asleep, plugged into headphones with some conspiracy theory video left playing on her phone. Marinette had tried closing her eyes, but she was too excited about the vacation and ended up just staring out the window at the passing fields instead.

“Marinette.”

At first, the whisper went unnoticed over the rumble of the train, but by the second “Marinette!,” the girl noticed her name was being called from the arm-width gap between the seat and window ahead.

Adrien’s green eyes were visible through the opening, peering at her intently.

“Huh?” she asked, leaning closer to hear, in case he was trying to get her attention for a reason. “Yes?”

“Nino’s asleep,” he reported.

“Alya too.”

Adrien chuckled, and Marinette saw a flash of blond as he looked away, running a hand through his hair nervously, before his eyes turned back to her. “Hey, so… I know it’s kind of awkward to talk like this, but…” he waved his hand between him and Marinette, indicating the inconvenient obstruction of the seat back.

Marinette waited for him to continue, but he didn’t right away. He had turned to look at the window, his profile cloudy with inner turmoil. “What is it?” she prompted.

“Um… there’s something I want to tell you, but maybe now isn’t the best time. Can we talk later?”

“Sure,” Marinette agreed right away, keeping a pleasant, friendly tone, but her mind was racing. Adrien wanted to tell her something? She couldn’t tell from his demeanor whether she would like what he had to say. Was he finally going to tell her what she’d done to deserve his cold shoulder? Or something else? Like… that he’d figured out her alter ego? The thought filled her stomach with uneasy butterflies.

Adrien gave her a small, hesitant smile, as if he wasn’t sure she’d accept it, and he held out his hand in a truce-making gesture. Tentatively, Marinette raised her hand, reaching between the seat and the window to meet his. To her surprise, his fingers closed around hers, pulling her hand close enough to brush her knuckles with a light kiss. “I’m sorry,” he said, a tremor running through his voice, before disappearing behind the seat.

Marinette pulled her hand back quickly, heart pounding. Why was he apologizing? And _ why _ did he kiss her hand?

Marinette was tempted to touch his shoulder to get his attention and continue the conversation right then and there, but he’d already said he wanted to talk _ later. _ Swallowing her burning curiosity, anxiety, and impatience, Marinette sank into her seat and propped her knees on the back of Adrien’s. Put in her earbuds, she put on her classical piano playlist, letting the phone rest on her sternum as she closed her eyes. She could feel her heart knocking against it, and took several deep breaths to calm herself.

_ No reason to freak out, Marinette. _

Now, how was she going to find out if he knew her identity without giving anything away? She closed her eyes, entering brainstorming mode. Nothing like some cognitive activity to get her mind off matters of the heart.

—

Marinette knocked on the door to the boys’ hotel room. They’d stopped to drop off their belongings and use the bathrooms before heading out to the beach. Adrien answered. He was still wearing the orange hoodie, a pair of ash grey jeans, and his signature orange Gabriel sneakers.

Marinette held out a wrapped gift and bit the bullet, emboldened by his earlier warmth. “This is for you, Adrien. I’ve been trying to give it to you since Monday. Happy belated birthday.”

Adrien’s face brightened with childlike surprise. “Thanks,” he breathed, accepting it with a slight blush. “I don’t remember seeing this one in your room.”

Adrien added the second line so smoothly and without much change in his tone of voice, that Marinette had to do a mental double take to realize what he meant. The pile of birthday gifts for her crush. Heat sprang to her cheeks. “Oh! Uhhh, that’s right, this one wasn’t in the chest.”

“So I guess the person you made all those gifts for wasn’t me, huh?” Adrien chuckled. “Too bad.”

His tone was light, but the words left Marinette floundering and confused.

“N-no! I mean, that’s not—I just—got inspired and made this recently and—” she stopped when Adrien put his face into his palm to stifle his laughter. “What?”

“You’re—” Adrien couldn’t speak through the laughter. “You’re so easy to tease. It’s adorable.”

If Marinette hadn’t been blushing before, now, she certainly was. _ Adorable? _“Hey,” she protested, with a hint of playful indignation, but mostly relieved that Adrien was back to joking around. Maybe things were already okay between them. The unanswered questions still made her gut churn, but at least the cold front had vanished. 

“Can I open it?”

“Go ahead.”

It was a lightweight windbreaker, tailored to Adrien’s measurements (conveniently accessible online) in aqua and white, light enough to easily move around in while offering protection from the sun and wind. The sleeves were longer than standard and had thumb holes for added coverage.

“You don’t have to wear it right now, but I hope you like it anyway. The material deflects UV rays—since your dad is so picky about your skin, I figured it would help,” Marinette explained humbly.

“Wow, Marinette, thanks! It’s awesome!” Adrien said excitedly, pulling the hoodie off immediately. Marinette averted her eyes as the white shirt underneath rode up a little, exposing a flash of his toned abs. He tossed the hoodie onto the nearest bed and shrugged on the jacket, lifting each arm and twisting his torso to check the fit. “It’s perfect! Wow, Marinette, you are _ amazing. _What do you mean I don’t have to wear it now? Of course I do. It’s an honor to wear anything you make. And honestly, I’d rather not look like a walking Gabriel ad.”

Marinette blushed at the compliments, mumbling a flustered “Glad you like it” and “It looks really good on you.”

Adrien ran his fingers along the side seam, where a vine-like trail of silver embroidery thread against the aqua fabric caught the light—Marinette’s signature. “I love how you do this,” he noted. “So elegant.”

Marinette’s chest tingled, touched by the fact that he’d paid enough attention to the details to notice so quickly. She laughed nervously, not sure if it was suitable to say “thanks” and unable to think of anything witty to say.

“Alright, dudes! Ready for some volleyball?!” Nino interrupted obnoxiously as he came out of the bathroom, startling Marinette.

Adrien’s eyes crinkled with joy as he gave Nino a lazy fist bump. “Let’s hit the sand.”

The sight of Adrien happy was enough to dissolve the anxiety sitting on Marinette’s chest since the train ride. “Let me grab my stuff and Alya,” she said, smiling fondly at the boys. “Meet you in the lobby.”

—

After a lunch of crêpes and a windy game of volleyball on the beach, the four teenagers found themselves living out a scene from a cheesy romance—a horseback ride along the beach.

Despite the sun being high, Deauville was still chilly in April, especially on the shore, so they were restricted to activities _ around _the beach instead of actually playing in the water. That was fine with all of them, especially Adrien, as splashing around bare-headed and bare-skinned would have been too much sun exposure for Gabriel to allow anyway.

As it was, Adrien donned a Panama hat that he held down with one hand whenever a strong wind blew, holding the horse’s reins with the other. The riding instructor, who happened to be a friend of Otis Cesaire’s, trotted some ways behind them as a chaperone, mostly just to keep an eye on them in case of emergency, and to make sure they didn’t run off with the horses. Adrien’s bodyguard rode beside him, looking comically top-heavy on his steed, as if he should have been carrying the horse instead.

Before the short riding lesson that prefaced their outing that day, Marinette had only been on horses a few times when she was younger, and only around a track with someone else holding the reins from the ground. So she exercised a fair amount of caution, keeping the horse at a gentle pace and avoiding any startling motions.

The boys were lagging behind, as Nino was having trouble trying to keep his horse focused on moving forward instead of trying to nibble at random patches of grass. As the instructor stepped in to help, Adrien caught up with the girls, sidling up effortlessly beside Marinette. “How’s it going, _ neigh_bor?”

Marinette laughed. “Back to punning, are we?”

“What can I say? I’m a punmaster. I just can’t _ rein _ them in.”

“Get off your high _ horse, _ mister,” Marinette said playfully. “There’s more than one punmaster in the house. Or should I say, in the _ horse_.”

_ “Hay, _ you can’t use the same word twice.”

“It would be_hoove _ you not to challenge me. You couldn’t _ handle _ the full extent of my punning prowess.”

“She’s right, dude, watch out. Marinette’s got a scary competitive streak,” Nino chimed in, trotting up to Adrien’s other side. He’d finally gotten the hang of controlling the horse and had caught up from the few meters behind that he’d been trailing. “So, I can ride now. How fast do you think I can go?”

“Nino, no,” Alya said in a warning tone.

Too late. “Giddy-up!” Nino cried, digging his heels into the horse’s haunches. It started forward with a little huff, and Nino let out a whoop, giving it another slight kick.

“Nino, stop!” Alya yelled as the horse broke into a gallop.

“Hey, young man!” the guide cried sharply, but it was too late. Getting carried away with excitement, Nino had shot off along the beach ahead. Thankfully, the cold weather left the beach mostly deserted, so there wasn’t anyone to endanger.

Nino’s thrilled screams reached them over the wind as the chaperone took off after him.

“Glad we went with giving him the calmest horse,” Alya said through grit teeth. “I hope it doesn’t throw him.”

“Idiot,” Adrien chuckled affectionately. The three of them watched as the chaperone caught up with Nino and managed to calm the animal.

Their pace was steady enough to talk comfortably. The sun was warm overhead, taking the edge off the chilly wind. _ Now’s as good a time as any _, Marinette thought, launching into her plan to check what Adrien knew.

“So Alya, I read your analysis of the last akuma fight on the Ladyblog,” Marinette began offhandedly, knowing Alya would take the bait—she loved to overanalyze akuma battles. “Sure, that was a brilliant use of the lucky charm, but what was she thinking, using it so early? Chat Noir wasn’t even at the scene yet.”

Marinette was going out on a limb. She didn’t want to let Adrien know about her superhero identity if he didn’t already know. But maybe criticizing Ladybug would help expose whether he did or not, by his reaction.

As she eyed him out of her peripheral vision, though, his face seemed carefully blank, fixed on Nino ahead.

“To be honest, I got a little nervous when she used it so early,” Alya admitted. “I almost mentioned it in the writeup, but Ladybug fans get _ vicious _ about anything even bordering criticism, so I ended up deleting it.”

“It ended up working out, didn’t it?” Adrien pointed out.

“Well, yeah,” Marinette shrugged.

In fact, she had realized what the akumatized object was right away, and staying out of the akuma’s path had been a piece of cake, so she didn’t need Chat’s diversion. Besides, she’d already seen him like a speck on the horizon just before she called the Lucky Charm, so she knew he would make it well before her transformation ran out. The longer she stalled, the more of the city the akuma ripped up and assimilated into its growing body made of debris, so she hadn’t wanted to delay. It was better to know what the Lucky Charm was so she could formulate the plan and simply spring into action as soon as Chat Noir arrived.

Nonetheless, her objective today was to play the devil’s advocate. “But what if Chat Noir hadn’t made it before her transformation ran out? That’s a thing, right? Wasn’t it a little reckless on her part?”

Irritation flashed on Adrien’s face at the word ‘reckless,’ and Marinette practically felt him bristle at her comment. “Ladybug isn’t reckless,” he said. “She thinks everything through before acting. If she called the Lucky Charm early, she must have had a good reason for doing so. I’ve never seen Ladybug make a rash decision without any purpose behind it.”

Marinette raised an eyebrow. He was defending Ladybug. Of course he would, if he had a crush on her—maybe Marinette’s hunch was right. But what surprised her the most was the way he talked about Ladybug with such certainty, almost as if he _ knew _how she thought, rather than just guessing from observation. Adrien was rarely around during akuma battles. How much must he have studied the videos and Ladyblog articles to notice trends in her battle strategy? In a way, it was flattering, but the fact that his affections were directed at her superhero self still made her feel uncomfortable.

At the very least, Marinette could glean that he didn’t seem to know she was Ladybug. He wouldn’t be annoyed at her comment if he knew, right? Maybe more confused? She couldn’t be sure. One last push, and she’d drop this act. “It seemed like she just got lucky. I’m not sure how much of that was due to planning.”

“That’s how her power works,” Adrien argued. “It’s called _ Lucky Charm, _ isn’t it? She follows her intuition on when to use it, and once she knows what she’s dealing with, she makes a plan. Sometimes, her actions seem random or don’t make sense, but she _ always _ has a plan, and it _ always _ works. Ladybug is _ brilliant. _”

Marinette’s mouth fell open unwittingly. Admittedly, it stoked her ego a little to have Adrien rave about her brilliance, but most of all, she was surprised at how well he seemed to understand her thought process. He had essentially summarized her battle strategy to a tee—wing it, go with her gut, then force the puzzle pieces to work.

It may have been a celebrity crush, but she had to give Adrien some credit. At least he was looking beyond her outer appearance.

Marinette was quite certain that he didn’t know. This was enough for her, and she didn’t want to actually upset Adrien, especially over a non-disagreement like this.

Alya had figuratively stepped back, watching the exchange with an expression that treaded the line between amused and annoyed.

“Okay, okay… you’re right. Anyway, I didn’t mean to criticize Ladybug,” Marinette placated. “I just got nervous when I saw it on TV, that’s all. You’re probably totally right. I’m sure Ladybug knew what she was doing.”

Adrien gave her an ambiguous look. At least it wasn’t an angry one, though.

Marinette smiled sweetly, hoping that would make it clear they were _ not _arguing.

Adrien let out a puff of breath. “Sorry—I didn’t mean to snap at you,” he said apologetically.

“What did I tell you about those Ladybug fans?” Alya rolled her eyes.

“No harm done,” Marinette beamed, light and cheery enough to dissipate any negative emotions.

Adrien’s face cracked into a relieved smile.

He didn’t know. That checked one question off her list, but tacked on several more.

—

The afternoon passed lazily—perusing boardwalk shops, a delicious seafood dinner, and a brief swim at the hotel pool, since everyone had brought their bathing suits but the sea was too cold to swim in. Despite trying not to look at him too much, Marinette couldn’t help but notice a bruise peeking out from the top of Adrien’s trunks on his left hip. When she asked about it, he just brushed her off, saying he’d taken a hard fall at fencing practice.

Even with Viktor constantly shadowing the group of teens, it was a lighthearted, pleasant time spent together.

“Well, well, my friends,” Alya announced in a dramatic tone once everyone had started getting wrinkly, hauling herself out of the pool and wringing out her braid before grabbing a towel. “Evening has fallen, and a magnificent night at the theatre awaits. Nino and I are going on ahead to set up. Meet us in the boys’ room in an hour? Showered and ready for awesomeness.”

“Can’t wait,” Adrien chuckled. His eyes were twinkling. All traces of his brief irritation during the Ladybug conversation had long since disappeared, replaced by utter childlike happiness as they moved from one activity to the next. “This has got to be the best day ever,” he murmured, probably to himself, but Marinette was close enough to hear it. Her chest filled with a rush of affection.

She took the steps out of the pool and wrapped herself in a towel. “I guess we should start getting ready too.”

“I’m sure they’re using the showers first,” Adrien said, following her out of the pool. “Let’s give them fifteen minutes. Wanna check out the roof? Nino and I found the staircase earlier. There were lights strung up and I’m curious if they turn them on at night.”

“Sure,” Marinette agreed, pulling on sweatpants and a cardigan, not even caring that they were getting soaked through. Adrien toweled off his hair and slipped on a shirt. He still had Marinette’s jacket with him, but didn’t put it on, probably to avoid getting it wet. “I’m sure it’s cold out,” she said. “The material dries quickly, so you can wear the jacket. It’s okay.”

He gave her a smile and put it on. Pleasure filled her to see him wearing one of her designs. That was enough for her. His friendship, his happiness, and him wearing her gifts. She didn’t need to confess… not yet, anyway. She was happy just to be by his side.

“Shall I escort you to the roof, then, fair lady?” Adrien asked in a mock chivalrous tone, reminding Marinette a little of Chat Noir, though it was much cuter coming from Adrien. Maybe he’d gotten in the mood from the way Alya was speaking earlier.

“You’ve been watching so many of Ladybug’s videos, you’re starting to act like Chat Noir,” Marinette teased, jabbing him in the side instead of taking the arm that he was holding out.

“Heeey,” he laughed, squirming away from her finger. “I think the cat has the right idea. Life is more fun with some dramatic flair.”

She hooked his arm anyway, before he could retract it. “Lead the way, brave knight.”

—

As it turned out, they did light the lamps at night. The roof was set up like a courtyard with benches and low tables, strings of lights criss-crossing the sky between the rafters of the vine-covered wooden trellis that outlined the perimeter.

“This is beautiful,” Marinette breathed, taking in the scene. The wind was colder now without the sun to buffer it, and she moved closer to Adrien, using him as a shield and a source of warmth.

“I love roofs,” Adrien murmured, leading them to the edge where they could lean out on the wooden rail to view the waves crashing on the shore. The empty beach glowed with moonlight, and calm blanketed the night. “It’s so easy to forget about life when you’re on a roof. All the shoots and publicity and dieting and lessons and—augh, that reminds me, I still have to make that piano recording for Father.”

“We’re on a roof,” Marinette reminded him with a teasing smile. “Save those thoughts for later.”

“You’re absolutely right.”

They fell silent for a moment, enjoying the scene.

“My balcony is my favorite place in the world,” Marinette remarked dreamily. _ This _particular place, though—this particular time, alone with Adrien Agreste celebrating his birthday on a hotel roof in Deauville, would surely be preserved in her memory as a special place, too.

“Your balcony has a great view,” Adrien agreed.

A few moments passed before Marinette realized what was so strange about that statement. She turned to Adrien in confusion. “Wait… you’ve been on my balcony?”

Despite the low lighting, she could see a blush creep over his entire face. “Umm, I just meant it looks like it has a great view. I’ve seen it from outside.”

Oh. Right. That made sense.

Adrien buried his face in his hands.

Marinette blinked, at a loss as to why he seemed so embarrassed. She touched his shoulder. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Nothing,” he muttered, but kept his head down. When he finally looked up, his hair was slightly mussed, and his eyes a little red from how he’d had them pressed into his palms. “Hey, Marinette, I wanted to tell you… I’m really sorry.”

“What for?” Marinette froze. Were they having that talk now? She’d almost forgotten about it, since their rapport had seemingly returned to normal over the course of the day’s activities.

“I…” Adrien heaved a sigh. “I know I’ve been acting weird lately. It’s kind of complicated to explain, so… can I ask you a favor?”

“Sure?”

“Can we just pretend nothing happened and start over?”

Nothing, as in… he didn’t ignore her for three days straight? As in, he didn’t kiss her? Did he see that as a mistake, then? Honestly, she didn’t want to just ‘start over.’ Not when she didn’t know what her mistake had been, so she could do better the next time. She wanted to _ talk. _ Marinette searched his eyes for answers, but came up blank. Nonetheless, she couldn’t bring herself to say no when Adrien was looking at her with such a pleading, vulnerable expression. “Um… sure?” she answered, still not certain what she was agreeing to.

“Hi, I’m Adrien,” he said with a wink, holding out a hand, a hint of a smile on his lips. Wait, introductions? Obviously he was playing, but she still didn’t understand exactly what he was trying to erase, and she was incredibly confused. Why pretend to restart their entire friendship? What was so bad about it?

Marinette took his hand hesitantly. “I’m Marinette?” she replied in a small, uncertain voice.

Adrien lifted her hand and once again pressed a kiss to her knuckles, the way Cat Noir often did. It was unnerving, and Marinette pulled her hand away reflexively to escape the discomfort. “Sorry,” Adrien mumbled, looking away. “I was just joking around… anyway, I keep making mistakes. I thought we were okay, but… I get it if you’re still mad at me. I was completely unfair to you. I’m terrible. _ Sorry _.” He ran a hand through his hair.

The tone of his voice was so honestly self-deprecating that Marinette took both of his hands, trying to suffuse him with warmth and reassure him that he’d done nothing wrong.

“No, _ it’s okay _, Adrien,” Marinette said, squeezing his hands for emphasis. She decided being direct was the best course of action. She was tired of all the dancing around, all the confusion. “I don’t mind if there’s something that happened between us that you want me to forget. But I don’t mind everything that’s happened, either. There’s nothing I can think of that was so bad I’d want to forget about it. I don’t know what I did to upset you in the first place, but I don’t even mind that you decided to avoid me. I understand if you needed some space and time to yourself.”

She felt him flinch as she mentioned that, but barreled on with her monologue. For once, she didn’t feel the need to carefully choose her words for Adrien. Feeling lightheaded, she let the words flow unfiltered.

“Relationships aren’t perfect, I know that. Friends fight, things happen. Even if we didn’t… ‘start over’ or whatever, I’m not going to demand an explanation if you’re not ready to give one, nor am I going to let it affect how I feel about you. I forgive you, and I hope you’ve forgiven me. I wish you’d tell me what I did wrong, so I don’t accidentally do it again, but if you don’t want to, that’s fine. Having you as my friend is enough. Seeing you happy is enough. I just want everything to be okay between us. Please.”

A single tear had leaked down Adrien’s cheek while she was talking, but he didn’t take his hand out of Marinette’s to wipe it. “You didn’t do anything wrong,” he said in a husky voice. “I’m the one who messed up. I don’t deserve your friendship.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Marinette said, wiping the tear from his cheek and parting his arms to hug him around the waist. His arms closed around her tentatively, and she felt him slowly duck to rest his cheek on her head. “You’ve got it whether you like it or not.”

Marinette’s phone buzzed in her pocket between them and she stepped back, extracting it and turning on speakerphone as she answered the call from Alya.

“Hey girl, you with Adrien?”

“Yup.”

“The movie theater _ experience _is all set up, projector and everything. Popcorn’s in the microwave. But where’s the audience? Come on, get yourselves showered and changed!”

Marinette exchanged glances with Adrien. It had been quite a bit more than fifteen minutes. “We’re on our way.”

She hung up, and the two stared at each other for a silent moment before Marinette reached up to tousle his hair. His cheeks glowed faintly pink as a smile teased his lips. He looked so adorable. “Everything okay now?”

“Yeah,” Adrien answered breathlessly. He caught her hand as she pulled it away from his hair and tugged her toward the door. “Let’s hurry.”

He didn’t let go until they were back in the hall where the rooms were located.

Marinette took her shower in a daze, wondering what it meant that he’d held her hand, wondering what exactly was too complicated to explain, wondering whether he wanted her to forget the kiss. She knew she wouldn’t have enough courage to ask.

So, she’d just have to rely on her usual strategy. Wing it, go with her gut, and hope everything worked out in the end. As long as Adrien didn’t hate her, things were good, as far as she was concerned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so, I'm really bad at writing fluff. The version of this chapter that got recorded and uploaded to YouTube, I honestly _hated._ (I didn't know I hated it until it was already online and too late to scrap and rewrite the whole thing.) I edited it thoroughly and rewrote a lot of the lines before uploading here on AO3, but I'm still not happy with it... nonetheless, it's not my goal to obsess over chapters that were written months ago, so... it is what it is.
> 
> The way I've characterized Nino in this chapter bothers me, because he doesn't match my headcanon Nino anymore. My thoughts about him have developed in the months since I wrote this chapter. I think the way he acted here would be more like how Kim would act. What do you think? Someday I'll write about my real headcanon Nino. Maybe in the future chapters that I get to write anew.
> 
> Did the puns hurt? Sorry. I think I'm really good at making up CRINGEY, HORRIBLE puns. :)
> 
> Thoughts? Opinions? I'd like to hear from you. Until next time!


	17. Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second half of the fabulous four's beach trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys. I liked the way this chapter was written from the get-go much better than the last, so I didn't make many edits this time around. As such, I'll link the audio recording in case anyone wants to listen.
> 
> [Listen to the Audio Recording Here](https://youtu.be/qZPSrfR_8v8)

_ A Silent Voice _ was unexpectedly good. Up until he became Chat Noir, Adrien had spent most of his free time at home watching movies and TV shows, especially anime. He thought he’d seen all the good ones already, but Alya had proved him wrong.

He glanced at the lump on the bed beside him regretfully. An emotional scene was happening, and he would have liked to see Marinette’s reaction, but she was already fast asleep. They had been enjoying a running commentary throughout the early part of the film. Her tolerance of his chattiness delighted Adrien to no end, since he had a lot to say during movies but never had anyone to talk to. Somewhere in the middle, though, she’d gotten cold and crawled under the comforter, which quickly led to her conking out.

He couldn’t blame her—it had been a long day, and this wasn’t the most action-packed movie. He probably would have fallen asleep too, but he had a soft spot for poignant anime dramas like this one.

At least he had an excuse to see it again with Marinette later, if she’d agree to that.

They were all crammed onto one king-sized bed together to watch, Adrien sandwiched between Marinette and Nino. It was the only arrangement that allowed Alya and Nino to sit together without their friends having to awkwardly share a bed alone—a little tight, but more cozy than uncomfortable.

“Babe, can we switch?”

Alya and Nino switched places so that Alya was now beside Adrien.

“Having fun?” she asked Adrien.

“Yeah, today was awesome. Great movie choice, by the way. It’s really good.”

“I knew you’d like it, you sap,” Alya said with a pleased smile. “Anyway, I hope you and Marinette used the prep time to have a much-needed conversation.”

Only paying half-attention to Alya while skimming subtitles, Adrien answered absent-mindedly, “Yeah, we talked.”

“And?”

His heart skipped a beat as he recalled Marinette’s kind words and warm hug on the rooftop. “I think we’re okay now.”

Alya arched an eyebrow. “So, what happened exactly?”

“What do you mean? We talked, that’s all.”

“No, I mean before. You kissed her, then avoided her for three days. Why?”

Adrien reluctantly tore his eyes away from the screen to give Alya his full attention. The way she’d phrased it sounded really bad, dislodging the pleasant feeling from his chest. To his shame, he was only now realizing how much of a jerk he had been acting. He hadn’t stopped to think about how his actions would seem from Marinette’s point of view.

“Fine, don’t tell me,” Alya said with an exasperated sigh, mistaking his silence for a refusal to elaborate. “But you told  _ her _ , right?”

“Well…” Adrien hedged. “I told her it was too complicated to explain, and that I was sorry, and to please just let us start over. And she was fine with that.”

“… Adrien.”

Alya’s tone made him feel cornered. “Yes?”

“That isn’t fair to her.” Alya pushed up her glasses so she could glare with more intensity. “Just because she was fine with it doesn’t mean  _ it was fine.  _ Right now, she’s probably just happy that you’re acknowledging her existence again, but sooner or later she’s gonna start overthinking it and jumping to conclusions unless you tell her exactly what’s going on in your head. You need to  _ communicate.” _

Adrien knew Alya was absolutely right. He felt stupid for assuming they could simply start talking again and everything would go back to normal without addressing the details. “… I didn’t think about that,” he admitted.

“I know.”

“But… It  _ is _ complicated, though.” How could he explain to Marinette that he’d accidentally developed feelings for her, thinking she was Ladybug, only to back off when spooked by the possibility that she wasn’t? It would seem like he was only interested in her if she was a superhero. Worse, it would seem like his feelings weren’t genuine in the first place. Especially without revealing that he was Chat Noir, an oversimplification of the truth was a misunderstanding just waiting to happen. “I really don’t think I can explain.”

Alya gave Adrien a skeptical look. “I’m tempted to ask, but I trust you enough not to.”

“Gee, thanks, Alya.”

“If you can’t give her the whole picture, fine. But tell her something concrete that’ll make sense to her, so she doesn’t go crazy making up theories. Marinette doesn’t deal well with the unknown.”

“I get it. I can do that,” Adrien said, resigned. He understood Alya’s point. “I’m sorry for making a mess of everything.”

“Well, I’m sorry to meddle, but I’m doing this because I care about both of you,” Alya said, sounding weary. “Let me see your phone.”

Adrien reluctantly handed it over, a sinking feeling in his stomach.

Alya pressed the power button and turned the phone to show Adrien, as if he weren’t already well familiar with his own lock screen. It was a picture of Ladybug in mid-swing. He’d taken it with his own cat phone and was proud of how it had turned out.

Alya’s sharp look didn’t make him feel proud—instead, he wanted to crawl under a rock.

“If you plan on going any further with Marinette, change your wallpaper,” Alya deadpanned. “Get rid of all those pictures. Make  _ some  _ effort to get over Ladybug. This isn’t fair to Marinette. She might accept anything from you, but as her friend, I can’t just let her walk into this without seeing some proof that you’re serious, because she’s  _ going  _ to get hurt.”

“I understand,” Adrien said through grit teeth, gently plucking his phone from Alya’s fingers. Despite feeling annoyed, and a little embarrassed that Alya could see right through him, he knew she was right.

“Send me that picture for the Ladyblog before you delete it, though.”

“You’re shameless.”

“Just fulfilling my public duty,” Alya said with a smirk. At least she had the grace to turn her attention back to the movie instead of eagle-eyeing Adrien to make sure he was doing as she said.

He turned on his phone and ruminated on the lock screen for a moment, brow lowered. His eyes strayed to Marinette, her dark locks spilling over the pillow, her side rising and falling with steady breaths.

Give up on Ladybug, or give up on Marinette. He’d already tried the latter, and it had failed miserably. He’d never tried in earnest to give up on Ladybug. He’d never wanted to—until now. Maybe.

He could start by changing his wallpaper at least. It’s not like the picture would be gone. Baby steps.

What should he change it to? Random images floated to mind. The Eiffel Tower? Nah—cheesy, and it reminded him of Ladybug, too. Cherry blossoms? Those reminded him of Marinette. But the  _ Adrien’s Girlfriend _ article flashed to mind and he quickly dismissed that idea. He opened his photo gallery to scroll for inspiration.

He  _ did  _ have a lot of photos of Ladybug. Yet, the thought of deleting them all made him feel sick. They might have looked like generic promotional shots or random candids to an average viewer, but each one held a specific fond memory for Adrien. The sick feeling turned to shame burning in his stomach.  _ Adrien Agreste, you are a terrible person. _

One picture he had saved of a cute black kitten sniffing a dandelion caught his eye. Yes, perfect. Purrrfectly adorable. He promptly set it as his wallpaper and showed Alya. “Better?”

Alya gave him a thumbs up and patted him on the head.

Turning back to his phone, Adrien hovered his thumb over a slightly blurry picture of Ladybug. He liked it because of the face she was making, but it was one of the more ‘disposable’ shots.

He clicked, enlarging the photo, and drifted his thumb toward the trash button.

It almost physically hurt when he clicked and watched the photo disappear.

He hesitated before selecting another photo. He wasn’t quite ready for this yet. He locked the phone and shoved it in his pocket.

Marinette’s sleeping form drew his eyes again. Face half-buried in the comforter, her eyelashes flickered with REM. The curve of her cheek was smooth, a healthy shade of rose-tinged ivory. Her lips were parted, breath disturbing a stray lock of hair each time she exhaled. The sight was endearing, and made Adrien feel better about deleting the photo. The last thing he wanted was to hurt her.

He would delete the rest of the photos—soon. Once his heart got used to the idea.

“What’s going on?” he asked Alya, looking up at the projector screen. He’d missed the last ten-or-so minutes worth of plot. “Can we rewind please? I was really enjoying the film.”

“Oh, you didn’t miss much. The Chloe-like girl attacked Shoko, the sisters formally apologized to Shoya’s mom, and Shoko’s been visiting his friends. She had a dream about him and ran to the bridge where they feed the koi to see him.”

“Alya, telling me is not enough. I need to see it!” 

Alya made a face. “Just watch it again with Marinette later.”

—

The next morning, Adrien couldn’t tell exactly when dreaming shifted into him lying in bed awake, eyes still closed, lazily running through his favorite memories from the previous day, all of them featuring a particular person. 

Marinette’s shocked expression and charming blush when he’d kissed her hand on the train. It was so irresistibly cute he couldn’t help but try it again to catch another glimpse.

Marinette’s regal posture on horseback and how she always felt the need to one-up him with puns. Even if her puns were terrible sometimes, it was cute to see her competitive nature flare up.

Sharing crêpes over lunch. He’d been torn between ordering two different dishes, and Marinette had offered to order one while he ordered the other, so they could share. She willingly committed her taste buds to  _ his  _ meal choices, just to make him happy. He was touched. And while dining at a restaurant with friends was great, there was something extra special about eating the exact same food as someone else, like a family meal, that he had missed all his life.

Marinette in a swimsuit. She was very pretty, just as lithe and toned as Ladybug.

Was he obsessing? Maybe.

A rattling in his bag reminded Adrien that Plagg had polished off his cheese wheel last night, and didn’t have the luxury of flying around freely with Nino in the room. Heaving himself up, he stretched and padded to the mini-fridge, grabbing another wheel of Camembert and slipping it into his bag. Plagg responded with a barely perceptible huff that Adrien optimistically interpreted as a thank you.

Now that he was up, he wasn’t in the mood to go back to bed. He put on the jacket Marinette had given him, slung on his bag—couldn’t go anywhere without Plagg—and slipped on his shoes without undoing the laces.

7:06 a.m. He didn’t expect Nino to be up for another hour at least. The sheer window curtains bled with orange-pink light. Prime time to go up on the roof.

As he exited the room and climbed the stairs to the roof, Adrien relished the slight swish the jacket made with every movement. It was comfortable and fit perfectly. Best of all, it had been made with Marinette’s own hands. There was still the residual fragrance of her room clinging to the fabric, subtle like lavender and pastries. He couldn’t get enough of running his fingers over that signature of hers. Wearing it felt like a hug, putting him on a bit of a giddy high.

But what was he going to tell her?

Maybe, if he omitted the “Ladybug” part, he could just tell her the truth.

He had less time to think about it than he’d anticipated. Pushing open the door to the roof, Adrien was surprised to find that the girl in question was already there, leaning against the wooden balcony in a pink oversized sweater and black leggings. Her hair was down and slightly tousled, giving her the appearance of having just rolled out of bed, as Adrien technically had.

She must have been deep in thought not to have heard the door. Adrien didn’t want to sneak up on her, so he called out, “Marinette! Good morning.”

She jumped and whirled around, confirming his suspicions that she wasn’t paying attention to her surroundings. “A-Adrien! You’re awake! Good morning.” Her panicked expression melted into a smile.

“I didn’t think you were a morning person,” Adrien remarked, thinking of all the times she ran into class with her cheeks still full of breakfast.

“I’m not, usually,” Marinette shrugged. “I guess it’s the unfamiliar bed? I woke up early and couldn’t get back to sleep. I’m glad I got up, though. This is gorgeous!” Her eyes lit up as she waved her arms excitedly at the sky.

Adrien took a moment to admire the orange and pink ribbons of clouds, drawn like strokes of pastel across the sky. “It really is.” He noticed that Marinette’s hands were pulled into the sleeves of her sweater, and she was shivering. “You’re cold?”

“A little.”

He came over and held his arms out. “May I?”

Marinette nodded timidly, and Adrien tucked her into his arms from behind, so they could both look out at the sunrise. Her head fit snugly under his chin, hair smelling like the hotel’s shampoo. He was surprised by how petite her shoulders felt, engulfed in the soft oversized sweater. She felt so natural in his arms, almost familiar, though this was the first time he’d held her quite like this.

“Thanks again for the jacket, by the way. I love it. This is the best present anyone’s ever given me… I still can’t believe you made it. You’re insanely talented.”

“Don’t exaggerate—it’ll go to my head,” Marinette joked, but the tone of her voice said she was pleased with the compliment. Then she jolted as if she’d just remembered something. “Oh! Before I forget, there’s one more I wanted to give you.”

“Hm?”

Marinette twisted and waved one sweater-enveloped fist in the direction of a nearby coffee table. “I was going to give it to you at breakfast.”

Adrien glanced over and saw a wrapped gift. A swarm of butterflies swelled in his stomach as he recognized it from Marinette’s chest of gifts for her crush. The elaborate bow was distinctive, and he clearly remembered it from the top of the stack.

“That’s for me? You’re spoiling me, Marinette. Thank you.” Adrien’s voice wavered, barely containing his excitement. He wouldn’t admit, even to himself, that he had been secretly on his toes waiting to see if she’d give him one of those gifts. Seeing it now confirmed that her feelings for him were real and not just a figment of his imagination, or a misunderstanding.

“Don’t you want to open it?”

Oh, right. Recognizing the gift was so momentous, he didn’t even consider opening it at first. Plus, doing so would mean having to let go of Marinette. “You’ll be cold again if I let go,” he stalled playfully. “I can’t do that to you, can I?”

Marinette laughed and twisted in his arms, poking his nose. “I’ll be fine.”

The gesture gave Adrien an eerie bout of déjà vu, but he wasn’t about to go down that road again. Reeling, he let go of Marinette to retrieve the gift. He slipped the ribbon off and turned it over in his hands a couple times, finding the seams, before sliding his fingers under the tape to meticulously undo the wrapping. 

Inside, he found a finely-knit dark grey cashmere sweater, a green button-down shirt, and a small silver lapel pin shaped like a cat’s head. “Wow. You made these?” Adrien said in awe.

Marinette nodded. “Except the cat pin. I thought of you when I saw it, because of Mr. Kitty.” She pulled her phone out of her ever-present side purse to show the cat plush phone charm he’d given her at the amusement park.

Adrien’s chest warmed at the fact that she kept it with her at all times and had even given it a nickname.

“It’s silver to match that ring you always wear,” Marinette went on, pointing at his miraculous.

This gave Adrien a start.  _ No way she’d know this is a miraculous right? It looks totally different when I’m not transformed. _ Pushing down the flare of anxiety, Adrien grinned widely and proclaimed, “It’s purrrrrfect!” 

Marinette stared at him.

“What’s wrong?

“Nothing, you just—never mind. Nothing.”

Adrien shrugged. “These are awesome, Marinette, thank you.” Crushing the presents between them, he leaned forward to give her a one-armed hug and an appreciative, chaste kiss on the cheek, eliciting a giggle from her.

He hoped he wasn’t overstepping bounds. He felt like he’d been kissing Marinette a lot lately, the thought of which suddenly made his face warm. He didn’t want to seem like he had no self-control, but he just felt so unguarded around Marinette. He was an affectionate person, but rarely had a chance to express it, and she brought it out in him.

His mind strayed to what Alya had told him last night. They probably wouldn’t have another chance to talk once Alya and Nino woke up, so he jumped headlong into the subject. “By the way, I was thinking about our conversation yesterday. I guess I was asking a lot, expecting you to forgive me without explaining anything.”

Marinette visibly tensed. “You don’t  _ have  _ to explain anything.”

“No… you deserve an explanation.” Adrien sighed. “It’s kind of a long, complicated story. But let me start off by saying, there’s this girl.”

Marinette’s eyes widened. Adrien couldn’t read her expression, so he kept going, hoping Alya was right that this explanation would be for the better.

“I’ve been in love with her for like, the past two years. And I… still love her. That’s why I’ve never really considered anyone else romantically. She doesn’t like me back, though, and I doubt she ever will. Then, you and I started hanging out more and… I’ve started to realize how awesome you are.”

Marinette shuddered, and Adrien wasn’t sure if it was a reaction to what he’d said or if she was just cold. He offered his arms again, and after a moment of hesitation, she allowed him to fold her back into an embrace.

Adrien just held her for a moment, heart pounding with a mixture of excitement and fear, wondering how she was taking what he was saying. “I really like you, Marinette. I couldn’t get you out of my mind—still can’t. To be honest, it blindsided me, because the only one I’ve thought of that way up until now was that other girl. That’s why I was so conflicted…”

Recalling how Marinette had been hurt about Kagami recently, he added, “Oh, and it’s not Kagami, by the way—when we went to the skating rink that time, I was just trying to get over this other girl because it was getting unbearable. I don’t think I actually had feelings for her. But with you, it’s different. I was confused, and I didn’t want to end up doing something rash and hurting you. That’s why I avoided you. I’m sorry. It was really stupid and selfish, and I didn’t think about how you’d feel.”

Marinette nodded, silky hair brushing Adrien’s chin. “I understand.”

He peeked down at her in disbelief. “You do?”

“Yeah. I do. Thanks, Adrien.”

“For what?”

“For being considerate.”

“Considerate?” Adrien echoed, shocked at how easy she was making this for him. He felt wretched about what he’d done, and almost wished she would blame him and justify his feelings. “More like the opposite—I hurt you, didn’t I? I was a jerk. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” Marinette said gently, giving his arm a squeeze. “You were trying to do what you thought was right. I appreciate it. And we’re okay now, aren’t we? That’s what matters.”

“I’m sorry for kissing you like that.”

Marinette stilled. “You regret it?” Her voice came out sounding choked.

“Not because of the kiss,” Adrien said urgently. “And not because it was you.”

“Then why are you sorry?”

“I—It was for the wrong reasons. We were both confused. That’s not how I would have liked our first real kiss to be. I can’t believe I ruined it.” Suddenly, he realized what he was saying. “Uh, I mean—not that I’ve been thinking about kissing you or anything—I mean—not that I’m against it—oh, God.”

Adrien’s flustered behavior seemed to release the tension. Marinette turned around, breaking his hold on her, and planted a little peck on his cheek. He felt the ghost of a laugh against his skin. “Don’t worry about it. Everyone makes too much of a fuss over first kisses anyway, don’t you think?”

Adrien blushed deeply. “I guess you’re right.”

“Adrien?”

“Yeah?”

“I like you too.” Marinette’s sapphire eyes glimmered as she smiled up at him. A flush bloomed on her cheeks, catching up with her words.

Adrien couldn’t help but smirk playfully, his face still warm, giddiness rising in his chest. “I know. I recognized the present from your room.”

She looked horrified. “Y-you did?”

“Yup.” His grin widened. “How many years worth of presents did you say you had prepared? Thirty-five?”

“W-what? Psshh, of course not, that would be ridiculous!”

Adrien laughed at her vain attempt to play it off. “Now I have something to look forward to for the next thirty-five years.”

Marinette moaned. “You probably think I’m crazy.”

Adrien ruffled her hair affectionately. “Yup, you’re crazy. But lucky for you, I think it’s sweet.”

Marinette’s blush was adorable, but since it looked like she was about to combust with embarrassment, Adrien decided to have mercy on her and shift the conversation back to the previous topic.

“Anyway, I know I can’t ask anything of you when I still have feelings for the other girl, but I hope you don’t mind spending time with me still…” Adrien didn’t dare to hope for more, yet. “Not talking to you was torture.”

“O-of course not. I love spending time with you.”

He breathed a sigh of relief. “Good. Thank you, Marinette.”

“Who is she?” Marinette asked tentatively. “… You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

_ I can’t tell her it’s Ladybug!  _ Adrien shook his head and waved a hand dismissively. “It doesn’t matter. It’s about time I got over her, anyway. It was hopeless, and… it was hurting me.”

“Okay…”

Marinette’s expression was unreadable, but the note of sadness in her voice sent a prick of guilt into Adrien’s heart. “Sorry. And I completely understand if you ever decide you don’t want to deal with this and don’t want to see me anymore.”

“Adrien…” Marinette’s voice was firm this time, and she fixed him with the determined look that accompanied the promises she made to her friends. Promises she would rather die than break. “That’s never going to happen, so stop worrying about it, okay? How about we get ice cream after school tomorrow?”

“Like… a date?” Adrien blinked.

“Yeah. Like a date.” She grinned.

Adrien beamed and gave her his most charming wink. “That’s an  _ ice  _ idea. I’d be  _ cool _ with that.”

Marinette giggled before a concerned expression settled on her features. “Will your father let you?”

“Doesn’t matter. We’ll make it work.” Even if that meant having to sneak out as Chat Noir and transform somewhere.

“Speaking of your father… don’t forget to make that piano recording, or this’ll be the  _ last  _ time he lets you go on a trip with us.”

“Why did you have to remind me?” Adrien sighed, a little over-dramatically. “May I cite the roof rule? No stressful talk on roofs.”

“Oh, right. I forgot, sorry.”

He checked his phone for the time anyway. He had two hours before his Chinese lesson over Skype. Enough time to get dressed, eat, practice the piano, record, and review his Chinese notes.

“First things first. Breakfast?”

“Let’s check if Alya and Nino are up.”

—

Once Adrien’s morning obligations were taken care of, they met Alya’s dad on his break for a tour of the new aquarium. Afterwards, they had a few hours of freedom before they had to catch the train back. As the last cry of their brief vacation, the four teens—accompanied by Adrien’s bodyguard—bought a strawberry shortcake from a local bakery and took it to the beach to eat.

The weather was much warmer than the previous day, and there was barely any wind. Once they were sugared up and content, they stripped down to bathing suits (except Adrien) and ventured out onto the shoreline to wet their feet and tease the surf.

It was Adrien’s first time making contact with the sea. Cautious of his skin and slathered in sunscreen, he rolled his pants to mid-calf, keeping Marinette’s jacket and the Panama hat on, one hand clutching the brim, as he played on the shore. The four of them fled from the incoming waves, laughing, leaving fading footprints in the sand to be wiped clean once the waves swept back out.

The bodyguard sat under an umbrella, watching with his usual stony expression, giving no sign that he was sweltering under his black suit—which he surely was.

Adrien took frequent breaks to chill out under the umbrellas, and it was only then that he shucked off his outer garments to cool down in swimming trunks. It wasn’t that he was tired; rather he was a little paranoid about how much time one needed to spend under the sun to get tanned. He didn’t want to risk his father completely barring him from future trips if he couldn’t follow a simple order, unreasonable though it was. Anyway, Adrien thought with annoyance, didn’t a slight tan look healthy and desirable? He was pretty sure he’d get tanned even in the shade.

The first time Adrien threw himself down onto his beach towel, still buzzing with exhilaration, he caught a rare smile on his bodyguard’s face. Though Adrien had long abandoned trying to strike up a rapport with the stoic man, he knew his lifelong protector had a soft spot for him, and he didn’t begrudge his presence on this trip.

Without the super suit, Adrien tended to be vulnerable to the sun, and being under it too long left him drained and sleepy. When he caught himself nodding off on one of his breaks, his eyes flickered open to the ethereal sight of Marinette approaching the station. She was backlit by the late afternoon sun, which illuminated the loose, floral chiffon kimono that she wore over a red cropped tankini. Wisps of her hair, pulled by the soft breeze, glowed in the light. Her face was slightly flushed from all the running and the sun had brought out the smattering of freckles on her cheeks. For the first time, the word ‘beautiful’ sprang to Adrien’s mind to describe her, instead of ‘cute’ or ‘pretty.’ She collapsed onto the towel next to him, out of breath and face shining with excitement.

“Hey,” Adrien said, still sleepy and almost certain this girl was eclipsing Ladybug in his heart.

“Hey,” Marinette returned, laying her head near his arm because of the way her beach towel was angled. Her hair tickled his skin.

“I think I’m gonna take a nap,” Adrien said, shifting his arm so her hair was against it instead of barely grazing. “Wanna join me?”

She rolled over onto her side, letting her head rest on his arm. No one had been brave enough to dip more than their legs in the cold water, so her hair was still dry and silky smooth. Adrien could feel the pulse of her neck, and it tickled again when she nodded. He smiled contentedly. He wouldn’t even mind if his arm fell asleep in this position.

This moment couldn’t be more perfect, he thought as he drifted off. 

—

As soon as Adrien woke up, Nino elbowed him.

“Congrats, bro.”

Adrien rubbed his eyes, feeling disoriented and groggy from the sleep and the sun. “On what?” He looked around for Marinette, finding her and Alya indulging in more cake and giggling off to the side.

“Don’t play dumb. Your new girlfriend, obviously!”

“My what—? Oh—” Adrien blushed. “She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Seriously, dude?” Nino held up Alya’s phone to display a picture of Adrien and Marinette napping together in the shade. “You guys are cute.”

Adrien had to agree, though not out loud. “Well, we  _ are _ going on a date,” he admitted.

“Oh, really?” Nino snorted. “Then, it’s only a matter of time.”

“Maybe. Send me that picture, please?”

“Why, you wanna make it your new wallpaper?” Nino smirked.

Not a bad idea.

—

Adrien got home feeling almost more exhausted than after an akuma battle. But it was a happy sort of exhausted.

As soon as he collapsed in bed, his phone chimed. He checked it to find a text or three from Marinette.

**Marinette** : hope you had a fun weekend  
**Marinette** : if you ever feel like getting away from your troubles you’re welcome to my balcony  
**Marinette** : not quite a roof but close enough

Adrien held the phone to his chest, melting as he recalled all the golden moments with her, feeling special to be the recipient of her messages and invitations. He would have expected her to be angry with him for the way he’d been behaving. He might have expected some drama because of what he’d admitted to her today. But Marinette was nothing but sweet and cheerful.

**Adrien** : Might have to take you up on that sometime.  
**Adrien** : This weekend was amazing!

Plagg zoomed front of Adrien’s face as he texted, making a grossed-out expression. “Eugh. You look ridiculous when you smile like that, and you’re acting even more disgusting than usual. Why did I encourage this?”

“Stop pretending you’re not happy for me,” Adrien said with a lovesick sigh.

“Oh, please. You’re too cheesy, even for me.”

Adrien let an arm fall onto his forehead. His head was pounding with a dull ache from the sun exposure, but he wasn’t complaining. Even the headache felt pleasant right now. “Hey, Plagg, do I look tan?”

“Definitely.”

Adrien groaned and rolled off the bed onto his feet, forcing himself to his desk chair. There was still some homework left to do.

His mind was all over the place, though. Unable to focus, he checked his phone for a text from Marinette, and finding none, opened a new tab for the Ladyblog on autopilot before realizing what he was doing and promptly closing it. Right. He couldn’t just idle away time looking for gossip and photos of Ladybug anymore. He’d made up his mind.

Speaking of photos of Ladybug…

Reaching up, Adrien fished out the photographs he kept in his trophy. High definition, detailed limited edition prints. Their presence in the trophy, and the symbolism of it, felt wrong. Giving them a last wistful look, he grit his teeth and threw them in the trash. The sick feeling gnawed at him again. But this is how it had to be.

As soon as he’d tossed the photos, Plagg appeared at his shoulder. “Wow, kid, you must really love bakery girl.”

“I’m doing it, Plagg,” Adrien said resolutely. “I’m picking Marinette.”

“What about Ladybug?”

Adrien’s heart squeezed with guilt and familiar pain. “Plagg, even if she did return my feelings someday, how real could it be?”

“You never seemed concerned about that before, kid.”

“I never wanted to date her as a superhero.” Adrien realized the truth behind these words as they escaped his lips. “What I  _ want _ … is to know her. For her to know me. But that could never happen, could it?”

Plagg reclined in midair, crossing his arms indifferently. “I’m not the one who makes the rules.”

“Exactly. It’s not up to me or Ladybug. Even if she did fall in love with me, we’d never  _ really _ be able to know each other. We wouldn’t be able to get married! I have no idea how long we’re gonna have to do this. Plagg, what if I waste away my whole life loving a mask?!”

“Calm down, kid.”

“You were right, Plagg. I’m in love with an idea.”

Plagg made a show of polishing his whiskers. “So you do listen to me.”

“But Marinette?” Adrien gushed, steamrolling Plagg. “She’s real. She gets me. She likes my jokes, she doesn’t mind when I act weird. She plays along! She talks during movies with me. And Plagg, you know what I realized?”

“What?” Plagg drawled dutifully.

“I  _ wanted  _ her to be Ladybug. Because—well, because I—” Adrien licked his lips. It had gotten suddenly difficult to speak. He whispered, “I think I love her.”

“Tell me something else surprising.”

“I’d be stupid to pick Ladybug, wouldn’t I?”

“I’d call it ‘masochistic.’”

“Yeah, well, I’m done with it,” Adrien huffed, propping his elbows on his desk and turning on his tablet.

Trying to steel himself into productivity, he squinted at his math homework, wishing his head would stop pounding. He didn’t want to resort to calling Nathalie for painkillers.

Surely no more than five minutes of silence had passed before he was crouching under his desk to retrieve the pictures from the waste basket. They were good pictures after all, and limited edition. He put them in a book, scaled the winding staircase to his bookshelf and tucked it into a corner behind his Honey and Clover DVDs. Just in case Marinette turned out to be Ladybug.

If she wasn’t, he’d throw them away later.

His phone chimed, and he slid down the pole to get to the the ground floor faster.

**Marinette** : see you in school tomorrow <3 good night

Adrien’s eyes caught on the heart nestled in the center of her message, squealing inside. It was the first time a girl ever texted him like this, and he was quickly getting addicted. The space between now and school seemed to stretch on like a desert before him. Two pages of math, 30 pages of literature readings, and hours that he was supposed to fill with sleep, separating him from Marinette.

“Plagg… would it be creepy to transform and go visit her?”

“Yes. And you wouldn’t be able to kiss her without revealing your identity anyway.”

“Plagg!!! I wasn’t gonna kiss her!!”

“Still creepy.”

“Fine.”

Adrien sighed and typed out a response.

**Adrien** : See you in school. Sweet dreams, Princess.

The nickname sprang into his mind automatically, thinking of her on her balcony, looking pretty with the moonlight glinting in her hair. But they’re weren’t really dating and maybe pet names weren’t okay yet. Plus, Chat Noir called her that, so maybe he’d be toeing the line a little too closely. If they started dating, he might have to think of a new name for her.

Before pressing send, he deleted ‘Princess’ and typed Marinette.

**Adrien** : See you in school. Sweet dreams, Marinette.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why hello there! What did you think of this chapter? What did you like? What did you dislike? Have you seen _A Silent Voice?_ It's really good, even if you don't like anime.
> 
> Some people seem to be mad at Adrien's indecisiveness. Though, it isn't so much indecisiveness. Ladybug was his first love, so you can imagine Adrien would feel conflicted about ending up falling for another girl in his attempt to get closer to the one he loved. Also, natural considerations of "do I only like her because I thought she was Ladybug?" are hard to shake, even if he's gotten comfortable with the idea of liking Marinette even if she weren't Ladybug. I believe Adrien wouldn't want to push his feelings on someone if he weren't positive that the feelings were genuine and 'fair.' Love and feelings are confusing, especially at their age.
> 
> Somehow, this chapter ended up sooo long. Almost six thousand words. I don't know how that happened.
> 
> Have a great week. See you next time!


	18. In the Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette and Adrien wander in the grey space between a confession and a relationship; things get complicated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys! Oh dear, I'm starting to catch up here on AO3 to where I am with the audio series. Maybe that's a good thing, and I'll be able to post the text chapters before I record them. ^_^
> 
> I didn't have to edit this chapter all that much, so I'll link to the audio version.
> 
> [Listen to the Audio Version of This Chapter](https://youtu.be/PRgmPaD7tRw)

“Tikki, do you think I was wrong?”

“About what?”

Marinette slowly brushed on a wing of eyeliner before peeking at Tikki through the mirror. “The girl Adrien’s in love with. Maybe it’s not Ladybug.”

Tikki’s face was neutral. “Why do you say that?”

“He said she doesn’t like him back.” Marinette gave her face a final once-over in the mirror. “When would I  _ ever  _ have told Adrien I didn’t like him? When did he ever confess to Ladybug?”

If she hadn’t been so preoccupied with gathering her essentials into her school bag, Marinette would have caught the sorrowful expression on Tikki’s face. As it was, the tumult of thoughts running through her mind distracted her from the kwami’s lack of response.

“Tikki, do you think I should visit him as Ladybug?”

“Marinette…” Tikki swooped in front of her charge’s face to give her a firm warning look. “Don’t you think that would complicate things even more?”

Marinette sighed, collapsing onto her chaise longue. “You’re probably right. Maybe I should just stop thinking about it. It doesn’t matter who he likes.”

“He said he likes you.”

“I know.” Marinette sighed again, more heavily this time. “But he’s still in love with the other girl.”

Tikki softened, coming to nuzzle Marinette’s cheekbone. “At least he was honest with you, so you don’t have to worry so much.”

“Tikki…” Marinette whined, not caring if she sounded juvenile. “I hate not knowing things.”

“Marinette, you can’t know everything.” Tikki frowned. “Isn’t it enough that he said he liked you?”

Marinette opened her mouth to retort, but changed her mind. “… Yes, it’s enough.”

As if sensing that Marinette wasn’t satisfied, Tikki went on, “You still have plenty of time to develop your relationship with him, Marinette. You don’t have to rush. Just take it one step at a time.”

“You’re right, Tikki.” Marinette mumbled, standing. “Maybe it’s better if we just stay friends for now, while he’s sorting out his feelings. No need to rush into anything.”

“Don’t forget your umbrella,” Tikki reminded her as she made her way toward the trapdoor. “It’s pouring!”

“Yeah, thanks.” Marinette made a dash to grab Adrien’s umbrella from the corner—the one he had lent her on his first full day of school. The day she fell in love with him. He probably hadn’t intended for her to keep it, but she couldn’t bring herself to return it. She didn’t usually bring it to school, but using it to run errands had made her feel closer to Adrien than she was.

Now that they were actually getting closer, maybe she should return it.

—

Aside from shy glances and smiles exchanged between classes, the day went just about the same as any other school day. Marinette was in a funky headspace, half wondering if she’d just imagined Adrien confessing to her.

Then again, there was no reason to expect any major change.

Several times throughout the day, Marinette typed out messages asking about their ice cream date, only to chicken out and delete each one. If only he would show her  _ some  _ sign of indication that it wasn’t all in her head. That he really had feelings for her and wanted to take their relationship further… maybe. Why was this so hard? What was a confession supposed to  _ mean  _ for the two of them?

When the final bell rang, Adrien walked out with Nino, who was talking animatedly about something, while Marinette briefly discussed a project with Juleka. By the time she got out to the front of the school, hoping to see him, his car was already pulling away. She felt a stab of disappointment, but before she could panic, her phone sounded with an incoming message.

**Adrien** : Sorry… I wanted to catch you on the way out, but Nino was talking my ear off, and I couldn’t ask my bodyguard to wait.  
**Adrien** : Do you think André will be out today?

Marinette smiled, anxiety draining away. So he hadn’t forgotten.

**Marinette:** still up for ice cream then? we could look for him  
**Marinette:** or you could come over for hot cocoa?

Adrien’s responses came quickly.

**Adrien:** Staying dry sounds nice!  
**Adrien:** I just have to pretend to go home first. I’ll text you later.

Marinette facepalmed.

**Marinette:** so you’re going to sneak out??

Adrien didn’t answer right away, so Marinette stepped out into the rain toward the bakery. Heavy drops pounded noisily against the umbrella. She tiptoed around a puddle, regretting her decision to wear ballet flats, as water soaked through the soles regardless. It was really coming down.

She wanted to see Adrien, of course, but the idea of him having to sneak out made her feel uneasy, in case his father decided to take him out of school like during the book incident. She wondered if sneaking out was something he did often.

Shaking the excess water off the umbrella, Marinette stepped in through the back door.

**Adrien:** It’ll be okay. See you at your house around 4:30? Is that a good time?

**Marinette: ** 4:30 is fine  
**Marinette:** but please don’t get in trouble because of me  
**Marinette: ** we can hang out next time you’re allowed out

**Adrien:** After this weekend? Don’t know when that would be.

True—he had mentioned that he’d be on a tight leash for at least a month after that excursion.

**Adrien: ** Don’t worry, I’m an expert at this.

Marinette felt conflicted, but she caved.

**Marinette:** ok, see you soon

Ever since her childhood, Nonna Gina had always made hot cocoa in a mix between the French and Mexican styles, dark and rich but with a pinch of chili for an extra kick. Now, Marinette wouldn’t drink it any other way. She wondered if Adrien had ever tried it like that. She checked the cupboards for the ingredients. Of course there was dark chocolate. Heavy cream and milk were in the refrigerator—but the chili powder was out. 

There was still plenty of time to run to the store to grab some before Adrien was supposed to arrive. Retrieving her rain boots from the closet, Marinette slipped them on, grabbed Adrien’s umbrella, and departed the house for the second time.

She was halfway back home, chili powder safely tucked into her purse, when something hit the umbrella with a rapidfire series of sharp thwacks that sent tremors down the handle. About five sharp needles were sticking through the canopy, centimeters from her head.

Peeking from under the umbrella, she saw an akuma bounding from rooftop to rooftop, firing poison darts at random, looking for something.

Or someone. Probably Ladybug and Chat Noir, to make the obligatory attempt to swipe their miraculouses before going off to exact revenge on whoever had made her angry enough to get akumatized.

The akuma’s inhuman features indicated that she was an attractive young woman, with blazing orange hair, wearing a stylish white knee-length vest that flared out at the waist, over an iridescent blue skin-tight outfit and knee-high boots.

Senses heightened, Marinette dashed into the nearest alley and called on Tikki to transform.

The akumatized victim landed on a neighboring roof, leering at Ladybug. She extracted a handful of darts from a small quiver at her waist, sliding them into a tube that she raised to her lips.

Ladybug waited until the projectile was headed her way before lifting the umbrella, while simultaneously rolling away, letting the dart sink into nylon in vain. Abandoned, the handle clattered against concrete. The diversion worked. By the time the akuma caught up with her, Ladybug was on the rooftops, ready for combat.

It hadn’t been five minutes before Chat Noir dropped in like clockwork, twirling his staff like a baton. “Need some help, LB?”

Most civilians were already indoors due to the rain, and whoever was out quickly cleared the streets once they noticed the rampaging akuma. The fight was relatively contained. Yet, a few minutes in, Ladybug could sense that her partner was off his game.

“What’s going on?” Ladybug hissed, yanking Chat Noir behind an ad post for a quick huddle. Meanwhile, the akuma attempted to disentangle herself from where Ladybug’s yoyo had pinned her to a street lamp. “You’re distracted.”

“I’m fine.” He was obviously lying.

Ladybug glared at him. She hated when he acted distant and sullen. The drama was unnecessary when they needed to be in sync and focus on the battle. “Whatever’s happening, leave it at home and help me defeat this thing!”

She wasn’t sure what kind of reaction she expected, but it wasn’t the defeated look in Chat Noir’s luminescent eyes as he met her gaze, unsmiling. “You’ve got it, LB,” he acquiesced softly. “Sorry.”

Ladybug’s anger faded. “Bad day?” A slight loss of tension in her yo-yo’s string indicated the akuma was making some headway in getting free. She pulled it taut, re-tightening the bonds. 

“Something like that.”

She placed her free hand on his shoulder in what she hoped was a comforting manner. “It’s okay, Chaton. Everyone has an off day now and then. I’ll cover you this time.” She winked and retracted her yo-yo, steeling herself to go back into battle.

Her eyes may have lingered on Chat Noir for a moment too long. The next thing she knew, his claws were digging painfully into her deltoids as he swapped positions with her, placing his back between her and the akuma. He drew in a sharp breath, wincing in pain, and Ladybug saw a dart protruding from his left shoulder.

“Chat!” she cried in horror.  _ That was my fault. _

Ladybug grit her teeth.

This was the first hit that had landed, and they didn’t know what effects to expect. Prussian blue seeped above the collar of Chat Noir’s suit, like ink pooling beneath his skin. Ladybug shuddered at the sight. He didn’t disappear, transform into anything menacing, or attack Ladybug, so it should be safe to keep him close.

Pulling her partner behind her protectively as she spun her yo-yo as a shield, Ladybug eyed the akuma intently, plotting her next move.

It shouldn’t be hard to get that pipe, even with Chat Noir incapacitated.

“Hang in there, Minou,” she murmured before launching into the offensive.

—

By the end of the fight, Chat Noir’s movements had grown increasingly more sluggish, as if he were drugged, and he was only barely remaining on his feet. He lacked the coordination to use his staff, but out of sheer force of determination, he had managed to make himself a human pincushion for every blow that made it near Ladybug.

The battle hadn’t lasted long, but Ladybug’s nerves were buzzed from seeing Chat Noir stagger into the line of fire again and again. She wanted to scream at him that she was perfectly capable of dodging the blows herself, and he didn’t need to do this. It was a relief when the pipe finally crumbled under a Cataclysm, releasing the toxic purple butterfly.

Chat Noir immediately collapsed, having reached the limit of his strength. His skin was all sickly blue.

Cleansing the butterfly in a hurry, Ladybug threw the Lucky Charm and ran to his side to wait for the healing magic to run its course.

His arm was a dead weight. She lifted his head onto her lap, stroking a lock of hair back to clear his face. It wasn’t the first time she’d been afraid of losing him, and she knew it wouldn’t be the last.

“Completely unnecessary,” she choked on angry tears. “You idiot.”

His eyes remained closed until the magic ladybugs swept by, restoring his health and strength. They fluttered open, unfocused at first, then widened in surprise. He must have realized he was on Ladybug’s lap, and his body tensed, trying to pull himself up.

Ladybug laid a hand on his shoulder, indicating for him to stay put. “It’s okay,” she breathed, so relieved to see her partner back to normal that she pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. “Thank you for protecting me, Chaton, but please don’t do that again.”

“It was some sort of venom.” Chat Noir gazed off at nothing in particular. “I didn’t have the strength to fight, but I wanted to help.”

“Didn’t I say I’d cover you? You could have sat this one out. I was  _ fine.” _

He shot her a rueful smile. “We both know you can’t take hits for me, mil—LB.” The flirtatious tone petered out of his response. He continued in a somewhat wry tone, “As long as I’ve got my wits about me and breath in my lungs, I’ll protect you, Ladybug.”

Ladybug narrowed her eyes at him. “You don’t have to overdo it. You were reckless.”

Sometimes his eagerness to jump in front of danger for her sake scared her.

“I have superpowers too, you know,” she reminded him. “I’m not a damsel in distress. You don’t have to protect me unnecessarily.”

Chat Noir didn’t answer, but the hollow look was back in his eyes. The victim was stirring—they should check on her. Feeling weary, Ladybug helped her partner to his feet.

—

The fight had taken them several blocks down. After parting ways to detransform, Marinette jogged back to the alley where she’d first transformed, to retrieve Adrien’s umbrella. She was soaked to the bone—even her water-resistant trench coat wasn’t a match for the curtains of rain pelting from the sky. It must have been purely due to magic that the akuma’s darts hadn’t been thrown off course.

The umbrella was upside down, water pooling in the segments. She shook it out and held it over her head as she turned back homeward.

About a block away from the bakery, she heard a pattering of footsteps and spotted Adrien running from the opposite direction. He was wearing a coat, but had no umbrella.

“Adrien! Why don’t you have an umbrella?” she cried, rushing to offer him shelter. Her eyes widened with realization. “Oh my gosh,  _ I  _ have it!”

He blinked. “You still have that?” he asked in disbelief.

Marinette nodded, hanging her head in shame. “I didn’t mean to steal it. I figured you had others. That was presumptuous of me, wasn’t it? Oh, gosh…”

“Don’t freak out, Marinette—I  _ do  _ have others,” Adrien reassured her. “I just had to run out in a hurry today.”

“C’mon, you’re gonna catch cold,” she urged, pulling him toward the bakery.

“Hold on—why are you soaked if you have an umbrella?” Adrien pushed aside her dripping bangs questioningly, exposing her forehead, as she paused to open the door.

“Oh… yeah, you know I’m clumsy. I dropped it and got rained on,” she mumbled.

He gave her a bemused look, and softly teased, “You take clumsiness to artisan levels, Marinette. Another one of your many talents.”

Water pooled around their feet as they tripped into the bakery and stood in the entrance, letting the door swing shut behind them. There weren’t any customers at the moment, and the quiet atmosphere settled as they left the storm behind. 

Sabine was already there with towels, throwing rags on the floor to soak up the excess water.

Tom looked up from the counter, looking not at all pleased to see the teens sopping wet.

“Sorry, Maman—we should have come in through the back.”

“It’s fine, sweetie,” Sabine dismissed her daughter’s worries. “I’ll clean this up. Leave your shoes here and go on upstairs to get dry. Adrien, Marinette should have some clothes in your size.”

Marinette squeaked. Adrien wasn’t supposed to know that.  _ Way to expose me, Maman.  _ “Y-yeah, practicing men’s fashion,” Marinette mumbled, face burning as she took the steps ahead of Adrien to hide her embarrassment.

—

Marinette used her parents’ bathroom to dry off and change quickly, so she could prepare the hot cocoa without making Adrien wait too long. By the time she made it back up with a tray in hand, he was sitting at her desk chair, flipping through an instructional book about different sewing techniques.

He dropped the book as if caught in the act. “Sorry! This was on your desk.”

Marinette laughed, setting the tray on the floor as she took the last few steps up and gently closed the trap door. “You’re welcome to read it, or anything else in my room, for that matter. You already found my best-kept secret, anyway.”

“Did you make these clothes, too, Marinette?” Adrien fingered the navy blue linen button-down shirt that he had folded to the elbows, paired with dark grey slacks.

Marinette nodded.

“Wow. I’m impressed—the cut looks really smart.”

“Of course it looks good on  _ you, _ Adrien.” Marinette blushed.

“No, seriously, you’re really talented.” He poked at the book he’d been reading. “This all seems so complicated. I don’t know how you do it—it’s like magic to me. As in, turning a drawing on a page into an actual piece of clothing—I have no idea how to get from Point A to Point B. My father would be ashamed of me.”

“Don’t say that. He isn’t ashamed of you.” Marinette recalled the way Gabriel boasted about his son’s perfection to Ladybug.  _ Maybe _ he objectified Adrien, but… “He’s really  _ proud _ of you, actually. I can tell.”

“When he remembers me, maybe,” Adrien muttered under his breath.

Marinette’s heart ached at the words, but since he obviously hadn’t intended to be heard, she didn’t say anything. She picked up the tray and brought it over to her desk.

“And voila, Dupain-Cheng special hot cocoa and fresh croissants. Would you like chili in your cocoa? That’s how my nonna always made it—it’s really good. But I didn’t add it in yours yet, just in case.”

Adrien’s eyes crinkled in a smile. “Sure. I’ll try it.”

As Marinette added the chili and stirred, she peeked at Adrien. He was watching the swirling spoon with a faraway expression, and the smile had faded.

Marinette put down the spoon. “Are you okay? Did something happen?”

“I’m fine. It’s nothing.” Contrary to his words, the edges of his eyes reddened as if he were holding back tears.

Marinette wasn’t fooled. She put a hand to his cheek and gently turned his face until he met her eyes.

“Maybe I  _ am  _ catching a cold?” he offered, wearing his model smile.

Marinette narrowed her eyes. “Why are you lying to me?”

Adrien’s face fell, his resolve crumbling. “I saw the girl,” he admitted.

“Really?” Marinette struggled to keep a straight face. She hadn’t seen Adrien as Ladybug today. Unless he’d seen her without her knowing? But why would he be so torn up over a glimpse?

She shoved these thoughts away to be present in the moment with him.  _ It doesn’t matter who this girl is, Ladybug or not, _ she told herself, swallowing her feelings. Sighing, she pulled Adrien into a hug. He was still sitting in the desk chair, head bowed slightly, and from her standing position, he fit comfortably under her chest.

“I thought I was getting over her, but … then I saw her today, and it was the same feeling again. It’s always been the same.” He buried his face in the crook of Marinette’s arm, and she felt tears soak through her shirt. “It’s not like I even have any hope. She thinks I’m annoying, and I’ve already given up on her. I don’t want to love her anymore. I just can’t help it, and it hurts. How do you stop loving someone?”

“I don’t know, Adrien...” Who would find Adrien annoying? Definitely not Ladybug. The realization was uncomfortable, but she tried to ignore her own feelings in favor of giving Adrien the support he needed. “You don’t have to rush to get over her.”

This seemed to make Adrien cry harder for some reason. When he finally spoke, his voice was small and hesitant. “Marinette? May I ask you something? Just in case.”

“Go ahead.”

“You wouldn’t keep a secret from me, would you?” His voice was feeble, vulnerable, miserable. As if he were groping in the dark for a lifeline.

The question chilled Marinette. There was only one secret she had to keep, but nonetheless, he had asked as a hypothetical, so she could give a hypothetical answer.

“Of course I wouldn’t.” It technically wasn’t a lie—she  _ wouldn’t  _ intentionally keep a secret from him. Nonetheless, her heart and her conscience knew better, and though she didn’t understand why he was asking, the words burned in her stomach like bitter medicine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello. So, how was this chapter?
> 
> I anticipate that some people might get frustrated with Adrien in light of this chapter. In the next chapter, we will understand better what's going on with him emotionally. 
> 
> Just for fun—the akuma is a celebrity who was libeled by a magazine. The akumatized object (the pipe she blows darts out of) is the rolled-up magazine, and her power is to poison people just as the magazine poisoned the public against her. When the darts land, ink-like blue seeps from the point of penetration, like the ink used to print the libelous words. Her colors (orange and blue) are reminiscent of a poison dart frog. A normal person would probably be immobilized by one dart, but the miraculous suit helped Chat Noir continue to function. Poor Plagg.
> 
> Let me know your thoughts about the chapter. ^_^


	19. Akumatized

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien receives some bad news, which turns into good news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my dears. I hope you enjoy this chapter!

“I really hope no one gets akumatized today,” Adrien grumbled, pulling on his pants. “I can’t deal with seeing Ladybug right now.”

“Gotta agree with you, kid. I’m exhausted! I could use a break.” Plagg didn’t make a strong case when he was curled up in an empty cheese wheel on Adrien’s bedside table, nibbling on a wedge of Camembert.

“What do you have to be exhausted about?” Adrien scoffed. “Unless there’s an akuma, all you do is sleep and eat cheese.”

Plagg tossed the rest of his cheese and caught it in his mouth, scarfing it down before responding. “You drag me to school every day and I have to listen to booooring lectures—not to mention, being your personal shrink is a full time job! You’re such a handful, kid!”

“Your laziness never fails to astound me.”

There was a sharp rap on the door, which Adrien recognized as Nathalie’s knock.

“Hold on—just a second!” Adrien threw a shirt over his head and nearly fell over as he hopped on one foot, then the next, to pull on socks. Though it wasn’t really necessary, he didn’t like the way Nathalie eyed his bare feet judgmentally any time he walked around in her presence without socks. Combing fingers through his hair to smooth it out, he answered the door breathlessly, “Yes, Nathalie?”

Nathalie was standing in the hall with her hands behind her back, her face a perfect mask of professionalism. “Your father wishes to see you in his atelier.”

“All right—I’m coming.” Adrien followed Nathalie, his stomach sinking. When his father summoned him, it usually meant a lecture, and Nathalie’s demeanor didn’t give him any reason to expect otherwise.

—

Nathalie parted ways with Adrien at the door to Gabriel’s atelier. He knocked, feeling like he was being thrown to the lions.

“Come in.” To Adrien’s surprise, Gabriel’s muffled voice sounded relatively calm.

He didn’t sound angry, which mitigated Adrien’s sense of dread.

Adrien pushed open the door, finding his father at work on his oversized tablet, eyes narrowed and lips pursed in design-mode focus. “Good morning, Father.”

“Good morning, Adrien. There’s something I want to discuss with you.” He frowned at the screen and tweaked something before gesturing for Adrien to come closer.

Adrien approached hesitantly.

“It seems you were sighted in Deauville.” Gabriel swiped the screen of his tablet. The file he was working on slid left, replaced by a web browser window. “As you might expect, the blogs and tabloids are having a field day.”

He clicked the first link, which loaded up a blog article featuring a grainy shot of him and Marinette with their forks spearing the same plate of crêpes. Adrien was gazing softly at Marinette, whose face was turned away from the camera. Alya and Nino were conveniently outside the frame. The headline read,  _ Junior Agreste Spotted with a Different Girl? _

He groaned. “Again?”

“There are a dozen others like it.”

Adrien paled. “… Oh. I’m sorry.” He tried to put on a contrite look, but he was inwardly quaking. “Father, we’re just friends.”  _ Please, please don’t take me out of school, please don’t forbid me from seeing Marinette…  _

“I knew it would be a mistake to let you go. But, what’s done is done,” Gabriel muttered, clicking through several tabs to give Adrien an overview of the situation. There were pictures of him and Marinette walking side by side, and a zoomed-in shot of them napping on the beach.

Adrien hung his head, hoping submissiveness would earn him some mercy points. “If it means anything, Father, that was probably the best weekend of my life, and I really appreciate that you allowed me to go.”

Gabriel raised an eyebrow before answering, not unkindly, “Well… that’s good to hear, Adrien. I’m glad you enjoyed it. But now, we need to take control of the situation. These photos are the perfect fodder for a scandal, since the public has been under the impression that you and Miss Tsurugi are a couple.”

Adrien made a face. “Don’t remind me.”

Gabriel frowned disapprovingly, narrowing his eyes. “I would have advised you to play along, for the sake of appearances. What with the recent partnership, it would have been a sensible move, and it seemed like she would have been willing.”

_ Why didn’t you advise me, then? This is the first time we’ve spoken since the trip…  _ Biting back his retort, Adrien answered softly but firmly, “She was willing… I wasn’t.”

Gabriel waved a hand dismissively, as if to clear the air of the topic of Kagami. “At any rate, it’s too late, since the media has caught on to your… ‘friendship’ with Miss Dupain-Cheng. If it were any other girl—aside from Miss Tsurugi, Of course—I would be tempted to cut her out of your life—”

Adrien tensed—

“—but I recognize that she may be a good influence on you. She has shown promise as a designer, her parents’ business is well respected, and she is class president, after all.”

As a wave of relief washed over him, Adrien’s focus caught on the last detail. “You know she’s class president?” He didn’t think his father paid any attention to his classmates or what was going on at school. He must have been snooping. In a twisted way, Adrien felt touched that he cared enough to do so.

“Of course,” Gabriel answered brusquely before moving on. “So, are you and Miss Dupain-Cheng romantically involved?”

“No—I mean, maybe?” Adrien blushed. “It’s kind of complicated? I mean—I like her.”

Gabriel put his forefingers together and pressed them against the line of his lips, regarding his son. “I’m going to let you choose, Adrien. Either you cut off whatever is happening with Miss Dupain-Cheng and let the public continue to believe you and Miss Tsurugi are together, or announce on social media that you are in a relationship with Miss Dupain-Cheng and that there is nothing going on between you and Miss Tsurugi. A third option is to cut off contact with both girls.” At this, Adrien shook his head violently in refusal. “I don’t want the Agreste name to be associated with a scandal. Transparency is our best tactic.”

Adrien would have preferred not to rush anything with Marinette, but the options could be worse. He nodded, deciding not to put up a fight. At least his father wasn’t forcing him to stop seeing Marinette. “I understand.” Then he added with a touch of thinly veiled bitterness, “Thank you for your concern about me, Father.”

“Of course.” Gabriel turned back to his tablet screen and swiped back to his work. If he noticed Adrien’s passive aggressiveness, he chose not to react. “Please run it by Nathalie before you post anything on social media, to check if the message will be received as intended.”

Adrien inwardly rolled his eyes. “Yes, Father.”

“You are dismissed.” Gabriel had already checked out of the conversation. 

Adrien made his way to the door, but paused before it. “Will you have breakfast with me, Father?”

In the same clipped, distracted tone, Gabriel answered, “No, I’m sorry. This project is urgent.”

“Oh.” Adrien’s face fell. Not that he expected anything different. “Okay. No problem.”

“Enjoy your meal, Adrien.”

“It would be better with you there,” Adrien muttered.

Gabriel looked up, frowning. “What was that?”

“Nothing. Excuse me, Father.” Adrien slipped out of the room.

That had gone better than expected, at least.

—

“You’ve never been, right?” Alya asked as Marinette joined the table.

Marinette placed her cafeteria tray down and slid into a chair. “Haven’t been what?”

“Akumatized.”

“Uh… no? Why?”

“We were just talking about how literally everyone in our class has been akumatized, except you and Adrien,” Nino explained.

Marinette raised an eyebrow. “No way. There’s gotta be someone else who hasn’t been akumatized.” She bit her lip, taking a mental account, then paled. “Oh—you’re right.”

Adrien, who had been listening to this conversation for the past ten minutes and trying to keep a low profile in case Alya started trying to connect the dots, took a bite of his chicken parmigiana and snuck a glance at Marinette. She was looking at him with an inscrutable expression; he shrugged. “Marinette’s always positive,” he defended her. “No wonder she hasn’t been akumatized.”

“Speaking of akumas,” Alya whipped out her phone and pulled up a video in a couple of taps. “Did you guys see the last akuma fight? It was tragic, I’m telling you— _ tragic. _ ”

“Yeah, I saw it.” Marinette nonchalantly took a bite of her baguette.

_ Please, no,  _ Adrien pleaded. Hearing the sounds of the battle from Alya’s phone speakers, he turned aside in an attempt to distract himself. Kim and Ivan were arm wrestling at a neighboring table.

“I feel bad for the poor guy,” Alya commented languidly, popping potato chips while watching the footage, as if she were at the cinema.

“Who wouldn’t?” Nino leaned over Alya’s shoulder, grimacing sympathetically. “Look at him take all those hits. That’s gotta be rough, dude.”

Alya rolled her eyes. “I’m not talking about that. I mean he’s obviously  _ head over heels  _ in love with Ladybug. I’m pretty sure one of those darts should have taken him down, but he won’t give up trying to protect her. He’s got it bad.”

“Oh look, Kim won. Anyone up to challenge him?” Adrien’s feeble, forced attempt to derail the conversation fell on deaf ears. He took another bite, refusing to get sucked into this conversation. He didn’t want to be reminded of his desperation to be useful to his partner. Every word grated on him, and he had to struggle to act unconcerned.

“I mean, look at this.” Garbled audio indicated that Alya was slow-scrubbing to a particular point in the footage. “He looks like he’s about to pass out. He’s got the blue stuff in his  _ eyeballs. _ But he’s literally tripping over his tail to get Ladybug out of the way.”

Marinette squirmed uncomfortably. “Alya—it was bad enough seeing him suffer like that once, I really don’t need to see replays. Can we talk about something else?”

_ Thank you.  _ Adrien’s appreciation for Marinette grew tenfold. Leave it to her to be considerate, even of a superhero she barely knew.

Unfortunately, Alya was in the zone. “Couldn’t she have mercy on him and just go on  _ one  _ date with him?” She squealed, just thinking about it. “The day that happens, you can bet I’ll be right there with them! The LadyBlog would explode!”

Nino snorted. “Pretty sure they don’t want a reporter tailing them on their—“

The sentence was cut short as Adrien stood up, the chair scraping more loudly across the floor than he had intended.

“Sorry.” Adrien dredged for an excuse, but coming up with nothing, he simply stated, “I have to step out. I’ll be back.”

He strode out of the cafeteria, through the courtyard, and out of the school.

Finally collapsing on the front steps outside the school, Adrien propped his arms on his knees and buried his face in them, fighting tears. Sunlight beat down warmly on the back of his neck, and a slight breeze tossed his hair. This was better. He couldn’t sit there and listen to Alya moon over how in love with Ladybug he was.

It killed him that he was trying to get over her, yet it was still painfully obvious to observers how he felt about her. Was he a hopeless case?

He heard the school doors open again, and the air beside him stirred as someone sat down. Peeking under his arm, he saw a pink ballet flat with black trim. Marinette. Thank goodness.

Turning his head to the side, without picking it up from his arms, he peeked through his bangs at her. “Hey. Sorry about that.”

Marinette put a hand on his back, and he could feel the warmth radiating from her palm. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I just needed some fresh air.”

“Is this about Ladybug?”

Adrien froze. “L-Ladybug? No. Of course not! I mean—why would you think that? No.” He blushed, realizing he was probably going overboard with the denial.

Marinette’s brows were pulled down, as if she were trying to figure something out, but she didn’t say anything.

Adrien continued, more calmly, “I just didn’t feel like thinking about unrequited love. It reminded me of the girl I told you about. I don’t want to dwell on her anymore.”

“Okay, fair enough.” Marinette started to move her hand in slow circles on Adrien’s back. “I just want you to know… more than anything, I’m your friend and I want to be here for you. So… feelings aside, you can talk to me about the girl if you need to. I won’t be hurt.” She smiled.

Adrien recognized that smile. It was the silly smile she used to cover the fact that she was making herself vulnerable. Now that he was well familiar with her easy, genuine smiles, he could see right through her.

“Thanks, Marinette.” Adrien straightened and grinned in a way that he hoped was reassuring. “That honestly means a lot to me. I  _ don’t  _ really want to talk about her, though.”

Marinette bit her lip. “Okay. Just don’t feel like you  _ can’t.” _ She took his hand and squeezed it.

Adrien looked at her in wonder, and a thought occurred to him. “You know, you’d make a great mom someday.” It wasn’t the first time she had reminded him of his own mother. 

Marinette went pink. “You think so? I have my doubts sometimes. I babysit Nadja Chamack’s daughter and I can barely control her most days. But moms are supposed to have special abilities with their own kids, right? So maybe three isn’t too ambitious…”

Adrien chuckled at her borderline rambling. “You want three kids?”

“Yeah. Someday.”

“Three is a good number.” Adrien watched with interest as Marinette’s blush deepened. He couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his lips. He added playfully, “What about a pet?”

“Oh! A pet! Yes! I was thinking a dog, or a cat—no, not a cat. Do you like hamsters?”

Adrien held back a chuckle. She had asked if  _ he  _ liked hamsters. She was considering him as part of her future? Did Marinette realize they were discussing a hypothetical future together? She was cute when she got carried away. “I love hamsters. But what about a cat? You don’t like cats?”

Marinette frowned. “Cats are cute. I like them, but—it would be weird.”

“Weird? What’s so weird about cats?” Adrien cocked his head in confusion. Cats were common pets, last time he checked.

“I mean, there’s nothing wrong with cats in and of themselves. It’s just that they remind me of someone I’d rather not be thinking about when I’m with—” Marinette froze, a slow flush re-appearing on her cheeks. “Oh my gosh, did I really say all that about our kids and our pets? I mean, not  _ our _ —just our hypothetical—Adrien, why did you let me say all that?”

Adrien couldn’t help it. He burst out laughing. When Marinette pouted at him, he struggled to get out the words to reassure her, “— _ Sorry. _ I’m not laughing at you. It’s just—you’re cute.”

Marinette blinked at him, wide-eyed and dazed, and Adrien marveled at how easy it was to affect her with compliments.

“Anyway, change of topic!” Marinette squeaked, regaining her senses. “I know what will make you feel better. Dessert!” She opened her purse and extracted a single macaron.

“Thanks.” Adrien beamed and accepted the macaron. He had already been feeling better since Marinette sat down beside him, but he appreciated that she still saw it as her mission to cheer him up. “You only have one? Wanna share?”

Marinette shook her head. “It’s all yours.”

Adrien took a bite. The cookie melted in his mouth after the initial crunch, and a familiar flavor flooded his palate. Passionfruit, his favorite. “Oh my gosh, Marinette. You just gave me a taste of paradise.”

Marinette giggled. “Don’t flatter me.”

“I’m not.” He held out the remainder of the macaron with the unbitten side facing her. “C’mon, have some. Don’t make me eat alone.”

She relented and took a nibble, eyes shining up at him like a clear sky.

“It worked. I feel much better,” Adrien announced, grinning at the way Marinette’s face lit up to hear it. But before he could settle too deeply into enjoying the moment, his brain snagged on the unpleasant memory of the conversation with his father that morning. “Oh! By the way, I’m really sorry to dump this on you, but… I have some bad news.”

“Oh? Go on…”

“The paparazzi caught us in Deauville, and a few blogs posted articles insinuating that something’s going on between us.”

Marinette’s face morphed into a look of horror. “Is it bad?”

Adrien shook his head. “No, it’s not that bad. I mean—I’m beyond caring what they publish about me online, but it sucks that you had to get dragged into it. My father wasn’t too happy, though, because of the whole Kagami thing…” He grimaced. “Still, it could have been  _ much  _ worse.”

“I’m sorry.” Marinette looked terribly guilty.

“No, Marinette, seriously—don’t worry. It’s really not that bad, since my father actually likes you. Which brings me to the next point…” Adrien cleared his throat nervously. On the precipice of blurting it out, Adrien was suddenly realizing that the course of this conversation could change their relationship forever. And he had been about to stumble into it with barely a thought. He stalled. “Marinette, no matter what happens, you won’t stop being my friend, will you? Sorry. That sounded selfish. It’s just—I just really value your friendship.”

The pasted-on smile was back on Marinette’s face, setting Adrien on edge. “Of course.”

Adrien braced himself and took the plunge. “Well… okay. I told him how I felt about you. And I was afraid he’d tell me to stop spending time with you, but instead, he gave me a choice. He said we had to either cut it off, or publicly announce that we’re dating.” He winced internally. While the options had seemed mild coming from his father, now that he had to repeat them to Marinette, his mouth felt like it was full of ashes. “I’m really sorry to put you in this position. This sucks.”

Marinette bit her lip, looking conflicted. “What do  _ you  _ want to do?”

Adrien blushed. “I mean, of course I don’t want to cut you off. But, it’s up to you.”

Marinette eyed him tentatively. “You don’t have to date me if you’re not ready, Adrien. I’ll always be your friend. That’s the most important thing to me… It should be okay if we’re seen hanging out with Alya and Nino, right?”

“I mean…” Adrien tried to find the words to tell her he didn’t mind, without sounding too presumptuous. “You know how I feel about the other girl, but I’m trying to get over her. I’m not holding my breath hoping for her to return my feelings anymore. But I don’t want to force  _ you  _ into anything you don’t want… I doubt you’d want to date someone who still has feelings for someone else, even if I’m not pursuing her anymore…” He looked down at his hands. Every word that left his mouth made him feel like even more of a crummy person.

Marinette surprised him by kissing his cheek, quick and light. “If you’re saying you prefer the second option, I’d be fine with it.”

Adrien’s brain looped back. Second option. Publicly announce they were dating. That was the second option, right? He hadn’t mistaken it? “As in—you’ll date me? Are you sure?”

Marinette nodded and met his eyes, looking as if she were braving the sun. “I mean, if that’s what you want.”

“Really?” He blinked in disbelief. “I’m just warning you. Some people might be upset. Paparazzi might follow us around when we go places. Remember when my perfume ad came out? Are you sure you’re ready for more of that?” The more he thought about it, the more he couldn’t believe she’d ever agree to publicly date him.

And yet, instead of fleeing to the opposite side of Paris as he’d expect, here she was, laughing and assuring him, “Hey, I thought that was a pretty great day until the akuma appeared. We got a lot of exercise and we almost saw a movie together.”

Adrien laughed at the memory. He’d been seriously miffed with that akuma for interrupting. “Do you mean it? Are you sure about this?”

“Of course.” This time, Marinette’s smile was genuine.

“Okay. Well,” Adrien sucked in a breath. “Here comes the unpleasant part. Father wants me to post something online to announce that we’re in a relationship.” He rolled his eyes. “I hate how businesslike this all is. Welcome to Agreste life.”

“I don’t mind.” Her eyes twinkled as if she was coming up with an idea. “Hmm. Can you put your phone on selfie mode?”

Adrien obeyed.

Before he knew it, Marinette’s face was very close to his, shy yet confident, and then her soft lips were on his. He gasped in surprise before returning the kiss fervently. His mind was blank, and it took a moment to realize why this was happening and that he was supposed to take a photo. Rather than capture the kiss, he pulled away from Marinette—regretfully—and snapped a shot. He showed her the resulting photo. It looked sweet. Their rosy faces were close, her eyes closed with a faint smile gracing her lips, him gazing at her with affection, wisps of their hair slightly displaced by the wind. A solar flare cast a golden haze over their features, giving it an artsy look. Not bad.

“Impressed by my mad selfie skills?” He tried to act unfazed, but his heart was still soaring from the kiss.

“Super cheesy, but cute. I think it works.” Her blush and the smile that she was struggling to contain showed that she was pleased with the photo.

Adrien wanted to kiss her again, but on the steps of the school wasn’t exactly the best place. His eyes lingered on her longingly before he turned his attention back to his phone. He typed up a caption in a text to Nathalie:

_ “The rumors about Miss Tsurugi and myself are exactly that—rumors. The photos were taken during a fashion photoshoot, and there is nothing romantic between us. In fact, I’m dating this beautiful and sweet girl, Marinette Dupain-Cheng, and couldn’t be happier.” _

_ How’s that, okay to post? _

Blech. He attached the photo and sent off the text, hating how much his life felt like a job, but the irritation was quickly dispelled when Marinette slipped an arm into his.

“Come on, we have to get back to class.”

At least it hadn’t been a lie. Ladybug complicated things a bit, but he  _ was  _ happy with Marinette.

He idly wondered when they could have a reprise of that kiss.

“I’m sorry for ruining our …  _ date  _ the other day,” Adrien murmured as they walked to class. Calling it a date was an injustice. He’d spent the whole afternoon moping about Ladybug while Marinette tried to cheer him up. “Ugh, I’m the worst.”

“You’re not the worst. I’m happy to spend time with you regardless of the circumstances, Adrien.”

Adrien pulled a face, still feeling guilty. “Wanna get ice cream after school? I told Nathalie I was staying later to study, so I’m kind of free.”

Marinette turned to him, eyes sparkling with excitement. “Sure. Then we can study together at my house, if you want?”

“Sounds perfect.”

And just like that, Marinette Dupain-Cheng had managed to pick Adrien up from an absolutely miserable day and lift him into the clouds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! What did you think of this chapter? I know it might seem unbelievable that Gabriel would allow his son to date. But, in this series, Gabriel really likes Marinette. I think he does really like her in canon, too. Gabriel is not evil. I believe this. He's just... misguided.
> 
> Let me know your thoughts.


	20. Hamsters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chat Noir drops by.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Long time no see. Back again with another chapter.
> 
> I did make a few edits to make this chapter flow better, but people seemed to like the audio version, so I'll link it here:
> 
> [Listen to the Audio Version of this Chapter](https://youtu.be/x4uHXSxJd_8)

“Princess, we’re friends, aren’t we?”

Marinette gave Chat Noir a quizzical look. They hadn’t actually talked that many times while she was Marinette, so she wasn’t sure if ‘friends’ was an apt term for their relationship at this point. Yet, she _ had _told him they could be friends after the Weredad incident, and she _had_ ended up crying on his shoulder not too long ago. She was probably more of a friend to him than any other civilian could claim to be. “I suppose we are.”

Chat Noir balanced on her balcony rail tightrope-style, heel to toe, arms outstretched. “And friends confide in each other. Right?”

Marinette inspected her partner. He seemed as happy-go-lucky as usual, but the last time he’d come to her balcony like this, he had been feeling down. “Is something bothering you, Chat Noir?”

“Oh no, nothing,” he answered flippantly, before seeming to reconsider his answer. He sat on the rail, facing her, and let his defenses fall. “Well… okay, yes.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

His ears flattened. “Only if you don’t mind…”

“Of course I don’t mind. Do you drink tea?” Marinette flourished a hand at her tea set. “Or—maybe it’s not okay if someone sees you up here with me. Why don’t we go inside?”

“Sure, Princess,” Chat Noir said with an eager expression that indicated this was exactly the offer he had been hoping for.

Once they had climbed through the trap door and down from Marinette’s bed, Chat Noir sprawled on the chaise longue, reclining with over-exaggerated drama. “Your patient is ready,” he joked.

Marinette pulled up her desk chair and sat in it, cross-legged. She didn’t play along with Chat Noir’s act, knowing that his joking demeanor didn’t indicate that everything was okay. “What’s going on, Minou? And why can’t you talk to Ladybug about it?”

“Well…” Chat Noir straightened up, becoming serious. “Actually, it’s about Ladybug.”

“Oh?” Marinette tried not to let it show how personal this subject was for her.

“Well, you see… I’ve been in love with her for two years, ever since we met.” Chat Noir gazed to the side, and the starry-eyed expression that crossed his face for just a moment was only too familiar. “But, I think I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that nothing will ever come of it. She’s rejected me over and over. I had hoped that the more she got to know me, she’d end up falling for me, too… but nothing has changed for two years. Even if she did reciprocate my feelings, we’re not supposed to reveal our identities, so…” He shrugged. “I’m losing hope. It’s like running around on a hamster wheel. Besides,” His eyes lit up. “There’s someone else I’ve been getting closer to.”

Chat Noir smiled at Marinette with a soft, earnest expression that she had rarely seen before on him. “Really?” she asked. “Who?”

“You think I’d tell you, Princess?” Chat Noir grinned and winked. “All I can say is that she’s a wonderful person, and I _ really _like her.”

“That’s good to hear, Chat Noir.” She gave him a bright smile.

A blush was barely visible under his mask. “She likes me back, too. It’s just… I’m not fully over Ladybug. I’d hate to ruin things with this other girl, and I want to give her what she deserves, so… I know I need to get over Ladybug.”

“Oh.” Marinette blinked. This was new, and a little surreal. Chat Noir’s love for Ladybug had seemed like a constant in her life, and she wasn’t sure how she felt about losing that, as selfish as that seemed. But this development definitely wasn’t a bad thing. He was moving on. She really was happy for him—he’d proven to her again and again that he was loyal and trustworthy, and he deserved to be happy. “So, how can I help you, Chat Noir?”

“Well, there’s a problem,” he admitted. He sighed and grabbed a pillow off the chaise longue, hugging it to his chest as if seeking comfort from it.

Marinette’s eyes widened in curiosity and alarm. “What’s the problem?”

“Well, when we fight akumas, Ladybug is the important one between us.”

“No, she’s not,” Marinette cut in. “Don’t say things like that. You’re both important.”

“Yes, I mean—I know, we’re a team, but—almost every time, her lucky charm is the key to winning, and she’s the only one who can cleanse the akuma. The truth is, I’m much more expendable than she is. If _ Ladybug _ went down? It would be like losing your queen in a game of chess. Maybe even the king—she’s that important. My role is pretty much just distracting the opponent and keeping her safe. I’m not being self-deprecating, just realistic.”

Marinette nodded, with a reluctant, “All right.” She wasn’t happy about him shoving himself to the side, but she had to acknowledge the reality of their battle dynamic.

“The problem is… it’s hard for me to see it as just a job.” Chat Noir crushed the pillow in his arms, looking miserable. “When I take an akuma attack for her, it’s not something I just do routinely… I always have this _intense _feeling, like—my life doesn’t matter as long as she’s safe, I trust that she knows what to do. And I feel like I’m laying my life at her feet, completely at her mercy. Like dying would be okay, because soon I’d be back, once she beat the akuma and set everything straight—but even if I did die for good protecting her, it would be a worthy death, because I love her that much.”

He paused, brow knit in thought.

“Though, the idea of _ really _ dying scares me, because if she didn’t win, that would mean Hawkmoth did, and I wouldn’t be around to make sure she was okay. I’m not too worried about that happening, though, because I know she would do everything in her power to save the day—and, yeah, to save _ me, _ no matter how hard it got. She’s not the type to put her own doubts or comfort in front of other people’s lives. I’ve witnessed her being scared, but she doesn’t have it in her to shy away from danger when someone else is in trouble. That’s what makes her so amazing. She’s a real hero with a heart as big as the sea, _ and _she’s brilliant enough to actually win every time. I really trust her. Sometimes I feel bad for putting so much pressure on her, but that’s just the truth of the matter.”

He realized he was rambling about how amazing Ladybug was, and laughed sheepishly. “Sorry, didn’t mean to gush so much. That wasn’t really the point.”

Marinette’s mouth had fallen open at some point during Chat Noir’s monologue, and she lunged forward to hug him. It was just as much to hide her face, as the tears leaking down her cheeks threatened to reveal just how much his words had affected her, as it was to comfort him. Inwardly, she vowed to fight that much harder not to let him down.

“What’s this for, Princess?” Chat asked in a warm, fond tone that indicated he couldn’t tell she was crying.

Marinette tried not to give herself away by sniffling, and whispered into his hair, “Chat Noir, you’re every bit a hero as she is. I’m sure Ladybug would be really touched to hear all this.” She furtively wiped her eyes with the back of one hand before pulling back.

Chat Noir sighed. “It’s been two years, and I don’t exactly make it a secret how I feel. I don’t think she cares as much about me as I care about her, honestly.”

The words were like a knife twisting in Marinette’s heart. At first, she’d thought he was joking, since the flirting had begun on their very first day as partners, but over the years, she had slowly begun to understand just how serious he was. It made her feel horrible for hurting him, which was the last thing she wanted to do—but she also didn’t want to lead him on with Adrien in the picture. Rejecting him seemed to be the lesser of two evils.

She steered the conversation back into friend-helping-a-friend waters. “You wanted to explain the problem with trying to get over Ladybug?”

“Yeah. Well, you see… when I have to protect her in battle, I can’t help but thinking and feeling all of that. And trying to kill this feeling makes it almost impossible to function in battle—one part of me just wants to burn out for her, expend every last bit of strength to keep her safe. But the other half is saying, ‘You don’t feel that way for her, she’s just a friend, this is just your duty,’ and the thought just… drains my energy. And I can’t do what I’m supposed to. I feel like I’m splitting in half. Like—what’s that psychological term? Cognitive dissonance? How do you risk your life for someone you don’t love with all of your being?”

He heaved a tortured sigh. “What should I do? I don’t want to go back to this endless cycle of pining after Ladybug—it hurts, and it’s depressing. I really want to make it work with the other girl. But I can’t let it affect my duty as Chat Noir.” He looked at Marinette imploringly. “I’m beginning to think the only solution is to give up being Chat Noir.”

“No!!” Marinette cried. “No need to be extreme! You can’t do that! Ladybug needs you!”

Chat Noir looked absolutely lost. “What should I do, then? Help, Princess.”

“Chat…” It pained her to see him looking so crushed. She sat down on the chaise longue beside him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “You know, you don’t have to stop loving Ladybug.”

As if he had heard a ‘yet’ tacked on to the end of her statement, Chat Noir protested, “I know I can’t do it overnight, but…”

“No, I mean, you never have to.” Marinette said firmly. “Not all love is romantic, you know?”

“What do you mean?” Chat Noir blinked. “Sorry. I feel emotionally dumb.”

“I mean… think of it this way. Do you think you’d have to stop loving your family just because you got a girlfriend?”

“Uhh…” Chat Noir rubbed his chin, thinking. “Okay. I see your point.”

“I’m sure Ladybug loves you too.” Noticing the way Chat Noir’s eyes hardened in disbelief, Marinette rushed to qualify. “Maybe not in the romantic sense that you’ve been hoping for, but I’ve seen footage of how she reacts when you get hit—like that time you took a blow from Timebreaker for her, and you started to disappear. It’s not just a job for her, either. She cares about you—she loves you, and she loves Paris. Why do you think she doesn’t give up?”

Chat Noir nodded slowly, mulling over her words.

“Maybe that feels intense for her, too.” Marinette gauged his response. He seemed to be taking it well. “Even if you like another girl and want to pursue her romantically, you shouldn’t feel bad that you still love Ladybug, okay? It’s one thing to give up on trying to find out who she is or date her. That doesn’t mean you have to stop loving her. Maybe if you can accept that, it won’t hurt as much.”

Chat Noir was looking at her with childlike awe, as if she’d done a superhuman feat. “Wow… I never thought about it that way.”

Marinette smiled and patted his arm affectionately. “Did that help at all?”

“… It did, actually. Thanks, Marinette.” He beamed. “So, enough about me. How have you been lately, Princess?”

Marinette’s smile grew, thinking about Adrien, the way it had grown so easy to chat with him about any topic in between classes, the way they held hands, the texts they had been exchanging all day. “Really great, actually. Funny coincidence, I’ve been getting closer to someone, too. You know... the guy I told you about that one time.” She blushed. "He's so sweet... I feel unbelievably lucky that we've gotten as close as we have, or that he pays any attention to me at all."

Chat Noir took her hand, seemingly about to kiss it, but instead he nuzzled it with his cheek like a real cat. “You deserve it, Princess! You’re one of the most awesome people I know. Who wouldn't pay attention to you?”

She laughed and squeezed his hand. “Thanks, kitty, that means a lot. You’re gonna be okay, don’t worry. I hope this other girl makes you happy.”

“She really does,” Chat Noir was quick to answer, eyes shining. He gave Marinette a friendly peck on the cheek. “Thank you so much, Princess. I knew I could count on you for top notch advice.”

“That’s Dr. Dupain-Cheng to you.” Marinette winked playfully.

Chat Noir laughed. “Well—I gotta get going. Superhero things to do, you know. People to save. Thanks for inviting me in.”

Marinette snorted at his bravado. “What are friends for? Come anytime.”

—

On a whim, Ladybug went out that afternoon, wondering if Chat Noir was still out and about. He seemed to spend much more time in the suit than she did, even when there wasn’t an akuma around.

She didn’t have to look long or hard—she caught him bounding across rooftops between Notre Dame and the Louvre.

Hurling her yo-yo, she caught up with him with a deep swing that ended in an exhilarating launch through the air. She landed a few paces behind him, and he turned with a grin as if he’d been expecting her. His cat senses had probably tipped him off to her approach. “Hey, Chat, fancy seeing you out here.” She couldn’t help but look at him with newfound fondness.

“Mila—um, Ladybug!”

Ladybug socked him in the shoulder. “No need to be so formal.” He was probably trying to stop calling her ‘Milady’ in consideration for that other girl he’d talked about—but the nickname had grown on Ladybug, and she wasn’t ready for it to disappear from their banter. “We’ve been partners for a long time, Chat Noir. We’re entitled to our inside jokes, aren’t we?”

The smirk spread slowly across Chat Noir’s features. “I guess you’re right as always, milady.” Suddenly, his expression sobered. “Hey, LB, can I ask you something?”

“What?”

“Do you love me?” As Ladybug opened her mouth to respond, he backpedaled. “N-Not romantically or anything. I’m not trying to flirt with you, honest! I just want to know if… if I’m important to you. Like… would you miss me if I disappeared? Would you be sad if something happened to me?”

Ladybug chuckled and poked his nose. “Of course, silly cat. Yes. I love you. Don’t you dare go disappearing.”

The way Chat Noir smiled back at her, like she’d hung the stars, brought a surge of affection in her chest toward her partner. At that moment, it struck her how grateful she was that _ he _was her Chat Noir.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who was disappointed that there weren't any hamsters involved? :P Sorry. You got your hamster mention in the previous chapter, anyway.
> 
> (I feel like I kept doing that in this series. Marinette was clumsy right before the "Clumsy" chapter, there was an akuma before the "Akumatized" chapter, etc.)
> 
> Anyway, what did you think about this chapter? Let me know your thoughts!


	21. Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A nightmare, and a midnight tryst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! How are you all? I've almost caught up to the chapter I'm actually writing. (I'm editing twenty-three at the moment.) By chapter twenty-four, I'll probably start posting on AO3 _before_ I make the audio recordings, so I can get feedback and potentially make edits before they're set in stone. How exciting / man am I slow. I started this fic in April and I'm still not done. But I've resolved to push harder to finish this fic once and for all.
> 
> Even though the strings that play in the audio recording when Ladybug and Chat meet up are synthesized, I like the song and think it makes Chat sound really excited.
> 
> [Listen to the Audio Version of This Chapter](https://youtu.be/wA9iza7cRiA)

The miraculouses beeped, and Chat Noir caught his partner’s hand as she turned to go.

“Couldn’t we spend the evening together, Milady?” He’d asked a million times already, and he knew to expect a refusal, but he couldn’t resist trying.

She looked at him appraisingly before her lip curled in a gentle smirk. “Meet me on the roof of Madame Giry’s in fifteen minutes.”

With those words, she rappelled into the horizon, leaving Chat Noir dumbfounded.

When had the “no” turned into “yes”?

After giving Plagg barely more than five minutes to scarf down his snack, Chat Noir was on the roof of the discreet ballet supply shop, pacing anxiously.

That wasn’t a joke or a prank, right? Ladybug really wanted to spend time with him.

Part of him was certain she wouldn’t show.

He’d go back home with his tail under his legs, feeling foolish for believing her. This would be like Glaciator all over again, except worse since he had reason to get his hopes up.

Then again, when had she ever lied to him?

Chat Noir’s worries were alleviated when he heard the familiar zip of her yo-yo being dispatched, followed by a flash of red as it wrapped around a chimney. His stomach did a somersault, anticipating her arrival.

“Bugaboo!” he cried as she alighted nearby, retracting her yo-yo and returning it to her belt in one deft movement. “You came!”

“Of course, Minou. I told you to meet me here, didn’t I? Why wouldn’t I come?”

“I just can’t believe you’re actually agreeing to spend time with me,” Chat Noir’s cheeks flooded with warmth. “Wait—that  _ is _ what’s happening, right? You didn’t come here to tell me that we shouldn’t hang out because it’s dangerous and unnecessary and all that, right?”

“Silly kitty.” Ladybug stepped up to him and poked his nose, smiling softly. “You worry too much.”

“I mean—can you blame me? How long have you been telling me no, LB?” he murmured, captivated by her eyes.

“Maybe I decided it was time to say yes.”

Her face was mere inches from his. When had she gotten so close?

“You see, Minou, I realized something.” She stroked his jawline with her thumb. “We’ve been through so much together, and you’re the one who’s always been by my side. You’re the only one who truly understands me. It’s been you all along.”

Chat Noir’s lips parted in surprise. What was she leading up to? The movement of her fingers on his jaw distracted him from coming up with a response.

“I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to realize I’m in love with you.”

“You… love me?” Chat Noir asked breathlessly. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“Yes, Minou. I love you.”

Before Chat Noir could be puzzled about the meaning of her words, she closed the distance between them, pressing her lips to his.

He closed his eyes, instinctively wrapping his arms around her waist, losing himself in the kiss.

_ Wait. No. No no no no no. Marinette! _

He broke away, gasping in terror. “Ladybug, no. I can’t do this.”

She looked up at him in confusion, deep blue eyes tinged with sadness. “Why not, Chaton? Haven’t you always wanted this?”

“Yes, but—No. I can’t. We can’t. I’m sorry, I—I have a girlfriend.”

What had he done? Chat Noir put a hand over his mouth in horror as the repercussions of his thoughtless action washed over him. He wished he could erase the ghost of Ladybug’s lips that he could still feel and taste. He walked to the opposite edge of the roof, heart racing in panic.  _ No no no no no. What have I done? I knew my feelings for Ladybug were trouble. I knew it was a mistake. I should have waited. I should have _ —

“But, kitty.” Ladybug had followed him—her hand was on his arm, gently turning him around. She was wearing that same confused, sad expression, her lips turned in a pout. “I  _ am  _ your girlfriend.”

“What?!”

—

Adrien sat bolt upright, the “What?!” still ringing in his ears. Was his dream that realistic or had he said it out loud?

Plagg was still sleeping on his bedside table, so he must not have said anything.

He clutched his chest, his heart still beating rapidly.

So he hadn’t kissed Ladybug. He hadn’t made that grave mistake. He gulped down breaths as if he’d been drowning, feeling more relieved than he ever had in his life.

What in the  _ world? _ Why that dream? Stupid subconscious.

He whipped out his phone to check the time. 2:17 a.m. He wanted to talk to Marinette. He wanted to see her. Anything to make him forget Ladybug confessing to him, Ladybug’s lips on his own. As much as he hated the idea of that happening  _ now, _ he couldn’t deny that he had enjoyed it, and he was desperate to erase the palpable memory of that.

Surely Marinette wouldn’t be awake at this time, though, and he didn’t want to wake her.

_ Then again, _ he reasoned,  _ I’m willing to bet she’s a heavy sleeper. It wouldn’t hurt to text her, and if she doesn’t reply, so be it. _

He tapped out a simple ‘Marinette?’ and sent it.

Ten seconds later, his phone chimed with a response.

**Marinette:** hey adrien. what are you doing up?

Gratefulness flooded Adrien as he curled under his covers with the phone, typing a response.

**Adrien:** I woke up because of a nightmare. I hope I didn’t wake you up… did I?

**Marinette:** no. i was working on a sewing project

**Adrien: **At this time???  
**Adrien:** Ok, I’d say something about staying up so late on a school night, but I’m actually SUPER relieved that you’re awake.

**Marinette:** it was that bad? what was it about?

**Adrien:** It was… disturbing.

**Marinette:** you okay?

**Adrien:** Kind of? Not really? I mean, I feel better now that I’m talking to you.  
**Adrien:** I mean, I’m fine, I just feel like scum.

**Marinette:** scum??? why?

Adrien sighed. He wanted to come clean and tell Marinette exactly what he’d dreamed about. If she didn’t want to date him anymore, he’d just have to deal with it. He couldn’t bear the guilt. But this wasn’t something he wanted to talk about through text messages.

**Adrien: ** This might sound crazy, but…  
**Adrien:** You live a block away, so…  
**Adrien:** Could you come over? Maybe? I kind of want to tell you about it.

**Marinette:** uh… ok, but are you sure? won’t you get in trouble? i’m sure we’ll be caught on the security cameras?

**Adrien:** It’s okay. Nathalie only checks the footage if there’s an incident. If you’re really okay with it, I’ll let you in the front gate in 10 minutes. Is that enough time?

**Marinette:** ok… be there in ten minutes

Adrien rolled out of bed and threw on a sweatshirt, then prodded Plagg awake.

“Are you crazy, kid?” Plagg whined, yawning. “It’s still dark. What time is it?”

“Sorry, Plagg. You can sleep in my hood if you want—Marinette is coming over so I’m going outside.”

“At this time? What are you, Romeo and Juliet?”

Adrien rolled his eyes, but Plagg complied and dove into his hood.

A few minutes later, Adrien let Marinette in through the hidden utility door at the front gate. She was wearing a chunky sweater and a scarf, her hair tied up in a messy bun. He saw a stray piece of thread in her bangs and reached to pluck it out. “Thanks for coming.”

“You okay?” She looked up at him in concern, the way the moonlight glinted off her blue eyes reminding him of the way Ladybug had looked at him in the dream.  _ No no no no no! _

He forced a smile. “I’m great, now that you’re here.” He pulled her into a hug and kissed her forehead. This felt right. He sighed. “There’s a garden area around the back that my mom used to love. Want to see it? It’s a nice place to sit and talk, if it’s not too cold for you.”

“The weather’s perfect. Lead the way.”

The garden was overgrown with various trees and plants—hawthorne, crab-apple, climbing roses, bluebells, lavender, and more—like an English garden, a few stone benches set along the path. Adrien led Marinette to one and held out a hand, inviting her to take a seat.

“This is really pretty,” Marinette observed as she took in her surroundings. “I can see why your mom liked it.”

Adrien smiled, settling down beside her. “I haven’t really come out here since she disappeared. I thought you’d like it, though.”

“I do.” She turned to him. “So, you wanted to tell me about your nightmare?”

“Yeah,” Adrien sighed. He twisted his miraculous ring nervously and ran a hand through his hair. “It was about L—um, about that girl I was in love with.” He pointedly used the past tense.

“Oh?” Marinette looked surprised, but she nodded for him to go on.

“She confessed to me, and I—I kissed her. I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. I mean, it was a dream, so… you know, dream logic. I’d pined after her for so long, I guess my subconscious came up with the scenario. I  _ never  _ would have done that in real life. I would have told her no.” Adrien burned with shame. He couldn’t even look at Marinette, forcing the words out of his mouth as if he were subjecting himself to a firing squad. “I feel disgusting—I had to tell you. If you want to break up, I understand.”

He felt Marinette’s fingers on his chin, and she turned his face toward her. She was smiling faintly in an obvious effort to set him at ease, but it seemed strained. “Adrien, it means a lot to me that you’re telling me this. Really.”

He returned her gaze forlornly, expecting her to say, “but.” This was it—they had hardly started dating, and he’d already ruined it. She was going to break up with him. She looked so beautiful, in her slightly tousled state, her hair rimmed with moonlight, and he couldn’t believe that she wasn’t angry right now. What an amazing girl. How could he betray her?  _ Stupid subconscious. Stupid Ladybug. Stupid Adrien, ruining your chances with this awesome girl. _

“It was just a dream.” Marinette shrugged. “You have nothing to feel guilty about.”

Adrien recalled how the sensation of Ladybug’s lips made him feel.  _ I have everything to feel guilty about, _ he thought—but if she was forgiving him, he’d spare her the details and just take it. “It was a  _ nightmare, _ not a dream,” he protested. “I was  _ horrified.  _ I’m sorry.”

Marinette looked away, still wearing the same strained smile. “It’s okay, you couldn’t help it.”

“Marinette…”

“Yes?”

“May I kiss you?”

Marinette nodded.

He kissed her slowly, one hand tentatively finding her waist. Why did her lips feel like Ladybug’s? Maybe because Marinette was the only girl he’d ever kissed while conscious. The kiss with Ladybug wasn’t real. Those were Marinette’s lips he remembered, even subconsciously. He deepened the kiss, trying to put Ladybug out of his mind. Trying to erase the vestiges of the dream with something real. He felt guilty using Marinette in this way, but he couldn’t live with the memory of Ladybug echoing in his mind. That would make him feel even worse toward her.

Either way, wasn’t he being terribly unfair to her?

Marinette’s thumb brushed his cheekbone, then her fingers teased his hair.

“Are you sure you’re not mad?” Adrien asked softly, breaking the kiss.

“I’m not mad.” She kissed his cheek.

The sad note in her eyes bothered Adrien.

“Can you tell me about her?”

The question caught him by surprise. “What do you mean?”

“The girl you love. What is she like?”

Adrien pursed his lips and looked away. He didn’t want to talk about Ladybug. “She… she’s really smart, and always willing to help people.” He peeked at her reaction.

Marinette was nodding, hiding her feelings behind the slight smile that Adrien was coming to dislike, because he knew it meant she wasn’t happy.

“She always knows the right thing to say and do. And she stands up for what she believes, even if the people around her don’t agree. I really admire that about her.”

“She sounds like a great person.”

Adrien smiled. “She can be a bit of a spaz sometimes, but I think it’s cute.”

Marinette’s lips trembled, despite her attempts to keep smiling.

“She has adorable freckles that you can’t see unless you’re close enough to kiss her.”

The smile faded into a pout that Marinette probably didn’t realize she was making.

“Her parents own the best bakery in Paris.”

Marinette’s eyes widened. “Huh?”

Adrien grinned and tapped Marinette’s nose. “What, does she sound like someone you know?”

Marinette pouted intentionally this time. “Stop playing with me. I really wanted to know about her.”

Adrien chuckled, covering how bad he felt. “Don’t think about her, okay? I’m not, and I’m so mad at my subconscious right now. I’d be horrified if she confessed to me for real.  _ You’re  _ the one I care about. Please don’t stress yourself out about this.”

“You’re sweet, Adrien. Thank you.” Marinette looked away, still seeming sad.

Adrien frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know, I just get the feeling that… I’m forcing you into this when your heart isn’t ready yet.”

“Nah, that was my father,” he joked lightly. “But that aside, you’re not forcing me into anything. I already told you, Marinette. I really like you.”

“Really?”

“Yes, of course. Why would I lie?”

“… I don’t know, I just feel bad. Like… maybe I’ll let you down.” Marinette shrugged and suppressed a yawn. “Sorry.” 

Adrien pulled her into a hug. “You’d never let me down.” He kissed the top of her head. “I’m serious. When I don’t see you, I get major withdrawal… please stop worrying.”

Marinette pouted. “Okay. I trust you.”

“Good. Anyway, you’re tired. Don’t you think it’s time for this princess to go to bed?”

Marinette giggled. “Only if  _ you’re  _ tired. I could stay longer if you want.”

“You know I’d love that.” He squeezed her, wishing he could hold her like this all night, yet knowing it would be wiser to part ways and go to bed. “But you’re going to be a zombie tomorrow if you don’t go home and sleep. Please tell me you’re done with the sewing project for the night.”

“Well, I was going to work on it for another hour or so…”

“Marinette, no.”

“… Okay, fine. I’ll go to sleep, only because you asked me to.”

“That’s a good princess.” Adrien grinned, resting his chin on her head. He held the hug for a few more seconds before reluctantly getting to his feet and reaching out to help her up. Her slender fingers felt like precious treasure in his. “I love your hands,” he confessed, earning a blush that he could barely make out in the glow of the garden lights.

They walked together to the front gate, and Adrien saw her off at the utility door.

“Goodnight, Adrien.” She stood on tiptoes to kiss his cheek, and as she was moving away, Adrien stole a butterfly kiss on her lips.

“Don’t be sad, my princess.” He smoothed her bangs and traced her cheek.

“I’m not sad,” Marinette responded, her smile belying the hint of melancholy he could still see in her eyes. She took his hand from her cheek and held it for a few seconds, then placed it at his side and stepped away. “I’ll see you in a few hours.”

“Sleep well, Marinette… text me when you get back.” Adrien waved, regretting to see her go. He stood in the doorway until she rounded the corner and disappeared. Sighing, he turned back inside and made his way to his room, trying not to step too loudly.

Her text came as he slid under the covers.

**Marinette:** safely home

**Adrien:** Sweet dreams, Princess. Thanks for coming.

_ I love you, _ he typed, but deleted it. He hadn’t earned the right to say it yet.

Adrien closed his eyes with a smile, setting the phone down by his pillow. Even though he had somehow slipped into calling her Princess again, she didn’t seem to think anything of it.  _ Guess Plagg was right… people are blind. _

As he drifted back to sleep, hugging a pillow, images of Marinette danced behind his eyelids. Her smooth lips, her sparkling eyes, her cheeks that always seemed to be pink. That brave smile she wore even when she didn’t feel like smiling. He wanted to erase that sadness in her eyes. He wanted to be over Ladybug  _ now  _ and be the great boyfriend Marinette deserved. He loved her carefree smile, the one she had when she made a shamelessly bad pun, or when she was about to pummel him in video games. She should smile like that more.

“Marinette,” Adrien murmured, squeezing the pillow tighter. “I’ll be a better boyfriend, I promise.”

This time, he dreamed about sun, freckles, and plucking stray threads out of Marinette’s hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what did you think? What went through your mind as you read this chapter? Were there parts you liked? Or disliked? Let me know! I like to hear from you guys. Thank you so much to everyone's who's left comments or kudos so far. Honestly, I started this fic so long ago that a lot of it makes me cringe now, and it makes me feel discouraged to keep writing it. I refuse to leave it incomplete, though, and your feedback greatly encourages me to finish.


	22. Aged Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien comes over for a fitting; he and Marinette have a heart-to-heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! How are you today? Welcome back to Carousel of Life. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Only one more to go until I catch up to where I am with the audio version.
> 
> [Listen to This Chapter](https://youtu.be/kzjZTE7HMMY)

“And the final touch—the mask.” Marinette held out the black, shaped vinyl mask she had designed and custom-ordered from a manufacturer she had found online.

Adrien took it and turned it over in his hands. “No straps?” He raised an eyebrow, shrugged, and slipped the mask over his eyes. The material was molded and sat comfortably on the bridge of his nose without falling.

“Pretty cool, huh? There’s a special water-based adhesive we can use for the actual show,” Marinette explained, circling Adrien to inspect his face from various angles. The mask looked different from Chat Noir’s real one. This one had spiky protrusions on the sides—dulled down and slightly elastic for safety—to suggest whiskers. Despite the differences in the costume, there was something strikingly familiar about Adrien dressed in black leather. “You know… you actually look a lot like him.”

“Only because I’m blond and have green eyes.” Adrien waved his hand dismissively. “What’s the theme again?”

He meant the theme of the student fashion show coming up in two days.

“Maturity,” Marinette answered. “I wasn’t really sure what to do with it, but I was watching a video on the Ladyblog one day and it occurred to me that Ladybug and Chat Noir’s suits might need an update when they get older, to look more flattering. Well, mostly Ladybug’s—the lines on Chat Noir’s suit accentuate all the right areas, so it would probably still look good on him when he gets older, but hers looks a little childish, almost like one-piece pyjamas, so…”

She trailed off, noticing a faint hue of color that entered Adrien’s cheeks. Was it because she’d mentioned Ladybug? Her heart twinged at the thought of Adrien’s mind wandering elsewhere, to another girl—and the fact that this other girl was her alter ego didn’t make things any better. If Ladybug  _ was _ the object of Adrien’s affections, how he would react if he found out she was just Marinette? If he was already technically  _ dating  _ her, yet his heart still yearned for something—someone—more, was the real Ladybug actually enough for him? She didn’t know what kind of fantasies he had constructed in his mind to fill in the blanks. The thought opened up a pit in Marinette’s stomach.

“Marinette?” Adrien’s questioning voice drew her out of her thoughts. “You okay?”

“Uh… sorry. What was I saying?”

“About the suits.”

“Right… anyway, it inspired me to think about designs that would look better on adults. I guess I took liberties with the theme… it was mostly just an excuse to redesign the suits.”

Adrien struck a battle-ready pose. “They’d be lucky to have suits this cool. This is actually really comfy,” he observed, bouncing his knees slightly. The leather hugged his form in a flattering, yet not overly revealing, way, and polygonal patches of knit fiber sewn in along his outer thighs and calves flexed with his movements. “The material isn’t as hot as I would’ve expected. I could actually fight in this.”

“Yeah, those fiber patches have copper woven in—it’s supposed to regulate your temperature, absorb sweat and so on.”

“Pretty awesome.” Adrien windmilled his arms, then clenched his fists, rotating his wrists to observe the black vinyl bracers—the same material as the mask—and leather gloves, sporting a neon green pawprint design on the back of either hand. He struck another battle pose, flexing his arms and back. “It’s easy to move in this jacket, too.”

It was more a vest than a jacket, with a high collar and cropped, angled front that followed the bottom line of his rib cage, the back part elongated into knee-length coat tails that split down the center. The belt tail, into which Marinette had sewn a strip of metal that could be posed and positioned like Chat Noir’s magic ‘tail,’ emerged from the slit. Under the vest, Adrien wore a thin, black faux-leather turtleneck lined with a moisture-wicking material.

“I like the way the triple-belt crosses my hips,” Adrien remarked, jutting out his hip to admire the three overlapping bands of thick leather. “Very reminiscent of [Squall from Final Fantasy VIII](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/61/e4/1c/61e41c97bc718ae3173f02de077ac1c6.png).”

“Ha, you saw right through me,” Marinette laughed sheepishly. “Should have known you’d notice that right away.”

“Of course! It’s my favorite Final Fantasy game.” Adrien looked delighted. “You played it, too?”

“Yeah, it’s the only Final Fantasy game I actually played through.” The Ladybug-related worries that had been gnawing at Marinette scattered under the force of Adrien’s megawatt smile. “I have a confession… he was my first fictional crush. I loved his character design.”

“Oh? I would be jealous, but I’m pretty paw-sitive you like me better than Squall. I’m much more friendly, cuter, and my hair looks better, don’t you think?” Adrien winked. Combined with the cat pun, the costume, and the affected hubris, he really reminded Marinette of her cocky partner.

“Don’t get too full of yourself,” she chided, reaching out to subconsciously scratch the underside of his chin, as she often did to Chat Noir. When she realized what she was doing, she stopped abruptly. “Sorry, that was weird of me. You were acting a lot like a certain dumb cat.” Were her ears playing tricks on her, or had he been purring?

“‘Dumb’? I thought you were a fan of Chat Noir.” He caught her hand with a playful grin. “You can do that more if you want. I didn’t mind.”

She humored him with another little scratch, and he closed his eyes, smiling peacefully. No purr. Maybe it was just her imagination.

The outfit really did look good on him, from the black leather ears clipped to his hair, to the clunky mid-calf, double-buckle boots strapped to his feet—a lucky vintage shop find that Marinette had made slight alterations to. She blushed slightly as she admired the way he effortlessly made her designs look ten times better than they did on her mannequin. “I’m glad everything fits.”

“It more than just fits. It’s awesome! You did an amazing job, Marinette.”

She blushed harder, unable to stop a grin from spreading across her face. “Thanks.”

“How long did it take you to make all this? Everything feels so… high-quality. I can’t believe you did all this.”

“A couple months?”

_"Months?"_ Adrien gaped at her in disbelief.

Marinette wondered what he was so surprised about. Two months wasn’t exactly a tight timeline. What with the play, homework, and akuma fights, the outfits had been moving forward at what felt like a snail’s pace.

She got her answer when he continued, “Why didn’t you tell me you were working on this? Why didn’t you ask me sooner about modeling for you?”

Marinette’s heart sank at the disappointment evident in his face and voice. “Sorry… I didn’t want to impose,” she explained dejectedly. “You’re already so busy. Plus, you’re a  _ real  _ industry model, and this is just a silly student project.”

“Marinette… look, I’m not upset with you.” Adrien took a step closer to her, grasped her shoulders in his hands, and fixed her with a serious gaze. She found herself getting lost in his eyes, the color of sunlight filtering through tree leaves, unable to look away. “It’s just—what can I do to make you believe that you’re important to me? I wish you’d told me. I feel like you’re still keeping me at a distance.”

“I’m sorry… I didn’t intend that.” Marinette’s voice was faint, barely above a whisper.

“Sure, I may be Adrien Agreste, son of Gabriel Agreste, industry model, face of the Gabriel brand,” Adrien recited the titles with a touch of disdain, “but frankly, I don’t care about any of that… except my father, of course. My point is, first and foremost, I’m just Adrien, your boyfriend—and before that, your  _ friend— _ and I  _ want  _ you to let me be part of your life and help you with the things that are important to you.”

Marinette bit her lip, a little blown away by the intensity of his monologue. It sounded like something he had been holding back for a while. “Sorry,” she repeated feebly, regretting not sharing more. The next admission came out sounding more self-deprecating than she intended: “I guess I’m still getting used to the idea that you even care about me.”

“Marineeeette,” Adrien whined, hooking an arm around her neck and drawing her close, gently mussing up her hair with his other hand. “How long have we known each other? I cared about you from day one. Why is that so hard to believe? Plus, you’re so sweet, adorable, and funny—how could anyone  _ not  _ care about you?” He planted a kiss on her head. “Get rid of those thoughts, right now.”

Ensconced in his arms, Marinette blushed at his outburst of silly affection. However, when she peered up at him, she was surprised to discover that he wasn’t smiling, and his eyes looked heavy with sadness. It hit her that he really was hurt about it.

“I’m sorry,” Marinette sighed, with more conviction this time. She twisted in his arms and stood on her tiptoes to kiss Adrien’s cheeks, one by one. “I should have told you. I’m sorry for putting distance between us… I’ll tell you everything from now on.”

Releasing Marinette, he squeezed her shoulder, face easing into a half-smile. “No harm done. Just don’t forget that I’m  _ your mannequin. _ ” He winked and posed stiffly, arms bent at irregular angles and hands straight, as if he were a plastic dummy. “Please use me!”

Marinette giggled, the tension between them dissolving. “What a joker.”

“Just fulfilling my duty to make the Princess laugh,” he said in a gallant tone, flourishing a dramatic bow.

Marinette laughed again. “It’s so funny when you say those things dressed like Chat Noir. You’re really good at acting like him.”

Adrien suddenly stepped close, taking her jaw between two leather-gloved fingers, his face inches from hers, a smouldering expression in his eyes. “Why do you assume I’m acting?” he purred in a silky tone, “How do you know this isn’t the real me?”

Marinette stilled, her mirthful expression draining away. The way he was looking at her, eyes burning behind the black mask, felt so oddly familiar, it gave her goosebumps.

“Just kidding, Purrincess!” Adrien grinned and planted a sweet kiss on her cheek before stepping back.

“Stop that,” Marinette insisted with a pout, still feeling the Chat vibes. “That is seriously creepy. You’re not allowed to be so good at this. And how do you know Chat Noir calls me ‘Princess’?”

Adrien’s eyes widened in innocent surprise. “Oh, he does?”

Marinette blinked. “Yes? Isn’t that why…?”

_"I've_ been calling you Princess, Princess.” He winked. “Did that alley cat steal my nickname for you?”

“Ah… right.” Marinette refrained from mentioning that Chat had used the nickname far earlier. She laughed weakly. Adrien acting so much like Chat felt disorientingly surreal. “Funny coincidence.”

“Yeah.” When Adrien’s eyes met Marinette’s, she was surprised to find that the humor had fallen away, leaving him with an ambiguous expression—a strange mix of curiosity and sadness.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Adrien shook his head, and the easy grin was back. “Anyway, where’s my partner?”

And it was back—that Chat vibe. Unnerving how he could get into character in the blink of an eye.

“Ladybug, you mean?” Marinette mentioned the name cautiously, hyper-aware that they were now talking about Adrien’s potential crush. She watched his expressions closely.

“Who else? Did you finish the outfit yet?” He seemed completely casual, but the pink tinge was back on his cheeks.

“Uh—yeah, I did,” Marinette answered distractedly, “Juleka’s modeling, so the measurements are a little tall for me, but I can show you… First, though, could I ask you a question?”

“Go ahead.”

“The girl you said you were in love with.”

Adrien stiffened.

“Is it… Ladybug?” Marinette forced out, feeling short-of-breath.

All his dramatic cheer vanishing instantaneously, Adrien suddenly seemed very interested in the shape of the pawprint on the back of his left hand as he debated what to say. “Didn’t I say we didn’t have to talk… or even think about her?” he asked, very quietly.

“So… is that a ‘yes’?” Marinette pressed, gently yet insistently.

He was silent for a moment. The next words out of his mouth weren’t an answer, but the answer was implied. “I know, I probably seem like I have my head in the clouds over a silly celebrity crush—” He backtracked. “Had, I mean. Had! I’m getting over her. I  _ am  _ over her. Anyway…” he sighed. “It’s hard to explain.”

He looked frustrated, as if having some sort of internal conflict.

Marinette took his leather-gloved hands in hers. “It’s okay. You don’t have to explain if you don’t want to… I don’t think it’s silly.”

“Really?” Some of the tension left Adrien’s face, and he met her eyes searchingly.

“Of course. How could I judge you for liking someone?” Marinette smiled wanly. It wasn’t his fault. How could he know? Yet, the voice in her mind nagged:  _ The girl you say you love is right in front of you. I’m right here. Why do you sigh? Why do you look so sad? Am I not enough after all?  _ The thought made Marinette feel weak.

“Thanks, Marinette…” Adrien said it reverently, pulling Marinette to his chest to embrace her tenderly. Burying into his shoulder, Marinette let her smile drop, twining her arms around his waist.

“What do you like about her?” she asked, bracing herself against his heartbeat.

“Marinette…”

Detachedly, Marinette observed that his voice sounded different with her ear pressed into the crook between his shoulder and his neck.

“I feel like you’re becoming even more obsessed with her than I am— _ was _ ,” Adrien warned.

Marinette let out a dissatisfied sigh.

Adrien seemed to pick up on her mood. “You’re the one who brought her up.” His tone was tense, as if he were beginning to get frustrated. Marinette was afraid to check his expression. “I wasn’t even thinking about her. I’m here with  _ you.  _ What’s gotten you so upset?”

“Sorry,” Marinette muttered. She was doing a lot of apologizing tonight, and ‘sorry’ was starting to sound hollow. She knew she was probably making things worse, but she decided to press on the bruise a little more. “Adrien, what if—” Marinette gulped, deciding to take a risk. Maybe it was stupid and reckless, but she was feeling emotional, and she felt confident she could back her way out of him suspecting anything. “What if  _ I  _ were Ladybug?”

Adrien released her suddenly and held her at arm’s length. “What?” He asked dumbly.

“What if I were Ladybug? Would I…” Marinette bit her lip and averted her eyes, almost embarrassed to be asking. “Would I be enough for you?”

“What do you mean? Why would you ask that?” Adrien looked perplexed.

Marinette stood silent for a moment, trying to think of how to explain her question without giving herself away. Heat radiated through Adrien’s gloves and the thin fabric of her sleeves. He didn’t move, patiently waiting for her answer.

“Maybe you’re feeling like you’re missing out on something by giving up on her?” Marinette spoke slowly and tentatively, testing the waters. “I mean, I’m sure you’ve imagined all sorts of things about her, since we don’t know much about her. Let’s just say,  _ hypothetically  _ if I turned out to be Ladybug, would you… regret that somehow? Would someone like me not be enough to be Ladybug?”

Adrien’s brow was furrowed, as if he were trying to wrap his mind around why Marinette was asking these things.

Marinette realized she probably just sounded insecure. She was frustrated with how the words sounded as they spilled out of her mouth. Finally lifting her eyes to Adrien’s, she blurted out, “I mean, I’m right here in front of you, yet you still seem sad about Ladybug. But what do you actually know about her? Maybe you’re yearning for something more that just doesn’t exist!”

Adrien looked at her incredulously. “Why are you talking as if you  _ are _ Ladybug?”

“It’s just  _ hypothetical,”  _ Marinette stressed, avoiding having to outright lie that she wasn’t Ladybug. “Ladybug could be a normal girl like me. Maybe you’ve invented a fantasy version of her that’s way better than any real girl. I feel like we need to talk about this, that’s all, otherwise…” She couldn’t quite finish the thought. What she wanted to express was, if the time ever came for her to tell Adrien that she was Ladybug, would his ideal be shattered? Despite all his assurances, would he end up disappointed by the mere fact that the alluringly mysterious figure he longed to know was just the same girl he already knew?

Adrien let out a sigh and pursed his lips, regarding her for a moment before removing the mask from his face, taking off the gloves, and setting them on Marinette’s desk. He took her hand and led her over to the chaise longue. Sitting with one leg hooked under him, he pulled her down to sit beside him, turned so they were face-to-face.

“Marinette…” He was utterly serious. “First of all, I’m really sorry if you feel like I’m not happy with you.” He was still holding one of her hands, gazing at her softly and sincerely. “Because that isn’t true. I  _ am _ happy. Now, I know it’s hard for you to understand my feelings for Ladybug, and I don’t expect you to, but the last thing I want is for you to feel overshadowed.”

Marinette watched his eyes roam her face, feeling at his mercy. What he was saying now sounded like a preamble, and she didn’t know where it was heading. Part of her hoped he would answer her initial question with the assurance that of course she would be enough. Part of her masochistically hoped he would show signs of hesitation and dissatisfaction, revealing that he didn’t think Marinette could be Ladybug. That he would have expected more from Ladybug. Because if he felt that way, she wanted to  _ know _ . 

His expression was unreadable. It felt like they were having a fight. She regretted saying anything. Things had been light-hearted before. Why had she ruined everything by opening her mouth?

Her eyes dropped to her lap, where her fingers twisted, picking at the seam of her skirt.

Adrien caught hold of one of her hands and cupped it in both of his, warm and dry. Marinette looked up, surprised to find his eyes half-lidded and soft, his lips stretched in a calm, lopsided smile.

“I’ll admit something to you.” He squeezed her hand.

“What?” She blinked in unguarded curiosity.

“I  _ wished _ you were her. … Or, I should say, I wished  _ she _ was  _ you _ .” He said it as if divulging one of his deepest secrets.

Marinette’s mouth opened in an ‘o’ of astonishment. “What? Why?”

“I’ve always admired you, Marinette. You’ve always been special to me, even before I started falling for you. I  _ knew _ I wanted to make friends with you, the moment I saw you. Nino must have noticed, because he’s the one who encouraged me to go and talk to you after that gum incident. If he hadn’t, I probably wouldn’t have had the courage. I was convinced that you hated me.”

“I’m sorry for judging you so quickly,” Marinette murmured, ashamed of her rashness.

“Don’t sweat it. It’s in the past, and I understand.” Adrien smiled, chasing away her worries. “Anyway, it was a pretty huge thing for me to actually put myself out there and proactively try to be your friend. Would you believe I’d never done that before? Ever, in my whole life? I mean… I’ve known Chloé ever since I can remember, and Nino kind of latched onto me on his own, but _you_ were the first friend that _I_ wanted to make. It used to make me sad that we weren’t closer, and I worried a lot about what you thought of me.” He lifted her hand, tracing her slender fingers slowly. “You’re just… such an awesome, beautiful person, and I thought… it would be so perfect if she turned out to be you.”

Marinette didn’t know what to say. Her heart was beating fast, and her hand tingled where Adrien’s fingertips touched.

He continued. “So, to answer your question… you’re more than enough. If you happened to also be Ladybug, that would be a cool bonus, but I love  _ you,  _ Marinette. I’m not longing for anyone or anything more. Not even Ladybug.” He sighed. “I really wish you would stop worrying about her.”

Marinette’s brain was stuck on what he had said four sentences ago. “Wait—you—what?”

“What?”

“Do you really?”

“Do I really… what?”

Marinette blushed, not wanting to seem presumptuous by repeating the words, in case she had misheard or misunderstood.

Adrien blinked at her, perplexed, then burst out laughing when he realized what she was talking about. “Oh, Princess. Come here—” He tugged her hand, making her collapse against him, and pulled her onto his lap, nuzzling his cheek against her hair. “I love you! I do. How many times do I have to tell you that you make me happy? Stop worrying.” He brushed back her hair and bent over to lay a gentle kiss on her temple.

Marinette curled into his chest. His laugh sounded like a rumble with her ear pressed against his ribs. “I love you, too,” she murmured, feeling dazed and a little like she was drowning in him.

He pulled her up so their faces were almost level, reclined side by side on the chaise longue. She lay her head against his shoulder, in the dip between his collarbone and his neck, and he leaned his head against hers. “Do you feel better now?”

Marinette nodded. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be so insecure… the thought was just bugging me.”

Adrien snorted at the half-intentional pun and stroked his fingers through her hair. “It’s okay.”

“Did you mean it when you said you wished Ladybug was me?”

Adrien chuckled to himself. “Yes. I did. You don’t know—” He stopped himself mid-sentence, and Marinette felt the brush of his hair as he shook his head. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter anymore. I don’t care if you are, or not. I love you,” he repeated.

Marinette answered by pressing a chaste kiss against the base of his neck, the only exposed skin she could reach from her current position. She was silent a few moments, simply enjoying Adrien’s embrace, before asking, “Why Ladybug? If you don’t mind my asking.”

Adrien hummed in thought. “That’s a complicated story, Princess. I might have to save it for another day.”

His gentle tone, soft as rustling paper, made his words easy to accept. “Okay,” Marinette replied, her eyes sliding shut. Adrien’s fingers combed through her hair again, slowly. There was nowhere she’d rather be than here.

“I’m still wearing the outfit, Princess. It’s going to wrinkle,” Adrien warned as she had started to doze off.

“That’s okay,” she murmured. “Five more minutes.”

“As you wish.” His fingers stroked again.

—

That night, with everything squared away for the show and her homework done, Marinette went through her bedtime routine, changed into pyjamas, and collapsed on her bed with a gleeful thwump. “Isn’t Adrien the sweetest?” she squealed, hugging her cat pillow.

“He did say some really sweet things to you, Marinette,” Tikki chirped, hovering above her. “I’m so happy for you!”

Marinette stopped rolling around to stare at the ceiling, a small pout forming on her lips. “The only thing is, I’m completely confused about how he ended up with a crush on Ladybug in the first place. I mean, he said he  _ loved  _ her… and he said it was a complicated story…” She turned on her side to face Tikki. “Don't you think I would know something about it? I mean, I’ve barely seen him as Ladybug…”

“You’ll have to wait until he’s ready to tell you, Marinette,” Tikki advised.

Marinette sat up. “Wait.”

Tikki watched as her charge clambered down the ladder to fetch a once-crumpled paper, now smoothed and folded neatly, from one of the small drawers of her desk. Her bedside lantern was on, providing enough light to find her way around the room, but she now switched on her desk lamp to get a better look at the sheet of paper.

It was Adrien’s love poem. Slumping into her desk chair, she pored over the poem, scanning the words for the hundredth time.

“‘Every day we see each other’? Tikki.”

“What is it, Marinette?”

“Tikki, he wrote ‘every day we see each other.’ I think I can count on one hand the number of times Ladybug and Adrien have met in person.”

“Maybe he meant on television?”

“Maybe…” Marinette bit her lip. She didn’t think that was it, but she couldn’t rule out the possibility. “Or maybe he meant…”

Marinette stared at the poem, reading the line over and over.

“No way.”

“What are you thinking, Marinette?”

Marinette was afraid to say it out loud. She shook her head. “No, you’re probably right. He must have meant on television.” She folded the poem and put it away, before switching off the desk light and stumbling back up to her bed in a daze.

Sometimes she had crazy ideas at night. It was better to sleep on it.

“Good night, Tikki,” she mumbled, burying her face in the cat pillow, filling her mind with happy memories of Adrien, trying not to get carried away with associated thoughts.

“Good night, Marinette.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there. So, how was this chapter?
> 
> I did increase the number of belts on the costume from the audio recording. I was picturing Squall's belt when I wrote this, and some pictures made it look like it was a double-belt, but on closer inspection, he actually has three belts. :P (Because this is a very important detail, of course...)
> 
> I wonder if you thought it was too reckless of Marinette to address the possibility of her being Ladybug. In my observation, though Marinette is generally cautious and sets rules based on her values, she's also very driven when it comes to obtaining her goals, and often breaks her own rules if she thinks she needs to. She says she doesn't like liars, but she actually lies a lot when she thinks it is for the greater good. She can also be a little arrogant about what she thinks she can get away with. When Marinette has a goal (especially if that goal is in conflict with her duty as Ladybug), she loses her mind a little and does stupid things.
> 
> I'm also wondering whether it was clear enough what Marinette was worried about exactly. As I mentioned in the comments of the previous chapter, I'm not a big fan of the characterization of Marinette feeling like she can't fill Ladybug's shoes, or thinking that whatever Adrien / Chat Noir sees in Ladybug 'isn't real' since Marinette 'isn't Ladybug.' I feel that Marinette fully embraces Ladybug as part of herself and doesn't see Ladybug as a separate persona. However, her concerns are more that Adrien thinks Ladybug is a _different person_. Marinette is worried that he'll feel like he's giving up something by choosing to move on from Ladybug, and always feel like there was an unexplored 'garden of possibility,' and if/when the time ever came for Adrien to find out that Marinette was Ladybug, he would still feel like something was unfulfilled since he wasn't getting to know anything new, and Marinette wouldn't be able to satisfy him fully even though she _is_ Ladybug. Does that even make sense? Maybe I'm overthinking it. I just don't think that Marinette would really be upset that he loves Ladybug due to feelings of insecurity or 'impostor syndrome,' but his feelings for a girl whose identity he doesn't know (and turns out to be his actual girlfriend) could still be problematic for his psyche... at least in Marinette's eyes.
> 
> What do you think of Adrien and Marinette's relationship? What I'm trying to portray is that even though they were sort of forced into a relationship, there are still some barriers between them, and they don't know each other _all that well_ yet, they have both jumped headlong into trying to be a real boyfriend and girlfriend, they are both trying, and they each feel genuine admiration and adoration for the other. I don't know if you'd call it 'love' yet, but to fifteen-year-olds, it feels like love. However, there is still some awkwardness, some being unsure of what to expect or how much they're supposed to share, etc.
> 
> Aaaaanyway... I'll stop blathering and let you guys tell me what you thought (I hope ^_~). See you next time!


	23. Fashion Show

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The student fashion show is set to commence, but as usual, nothing goes as planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! This is the longest single chapter I've written so far. Whoops! The series is wrapping up, so I feel like I'm trying to cram a lot into each chapter now. XD I hope you enjoy. Also, with this part, we're officially caught up with the audio series. I'll probably start posting to AO3 first from Chapter Twenty-Five. Twenty-Four is pretty much ready to record so I'm going to record it before posting it here.
> 
> [Listen to This Chapter Narrated](https://youtu.be/Qm2p8w_8b48)

“Juleka, it’s already five forty-five, and the doors open at six,” Marinette fretted, checking her phone for the time again. “I told you we should’ve gotten help! You really didn’t have to do Adrien’s makeup!”

Adrien shut his eyes as a fresh-faced Juleka attacked his face with her powder brush, mumbling something about finishing touches.

“Okay-great-that-looks-good-already-now-you-can-do-yours,” Marinette urged in one exhalation.

Adrien squinted through his eyelashes to see Marinette practically bouncing on the balls of her feet as she plucked lint from Juleka’s shoulder, straightened out a seam, and added an extra bobby pin to her hair, which was coiled in twin buns.

“Chill out, Marinette, we have plenty of time.” Juleka applied more bronzer to the hollows of Adrien’s cheeks, making his cheekbones pop. “I can do it in five minutes.”

“Then why is it taking you half-an-hour to do Adrien’s?” Marinette squealed like a teapot blowing off steam. “Half of that’s going to be covered by a mask!”

“Juleka’s right. The show doesn’t start right away once the doors open,” Adrien reminded Marinette gently. “We’ll still have another half-hour… and we’re seventh on the program, anyway. Not to be complacent, but I’m sure Juleka will be ready in time.”

“Adrien!” Marinette hissed in a stage whisper. “You’re supposed to be on my side!”

“Just stating the facts.”

Juleka chuckled under her breath and leaned back to inspect her work.

A voice rang out from the hall—“Mr. Agreste’s secretary is here!”—followed by a tittering crowd of aspiring designers, their models, and a few random groupies rushing breathlessly into the dressing room.

Adrien’s heart rate spiked at the news of Nathalie’s arrival. If she was here, it was most likely to tour his father around on video chat, meaning Adrien would surely be inspected. While he was confident that Marinette’s designs were top-tier, higher quality than any of the other student designs, it was up to him to show them off and get his father to notice and approve. The thought made him nervous. 

It felt very important to Adrien that his father acknowledge Marinette’s talent. He was terrified that any lack his father pointed out in  _ him _ would transfer to Marinette, and she’d end up taking it personally. He hoped his father was in a good mood.

“Oh gosh, I’m not ready!” Marinette bustled around her models, making sure all the details were in good shape. “Juleka, your makeup!”

Adrien reached out and caught her wrist as she passed. “Don’t worry, Marinette,” he soothed, pulling her toward him and enjoying the way her eyes widened and locked on his, momentarily losing her sense of panic. “You’ll do great. Father’s going to  _ love _ your designs.”

“I hope so.” Marinette chewed her lip nervously.

“But Mr. Agreste—” A shrill voice cut the air.

“I will see your pieces at the show,” an electronically garbled version of Gabriel’s voice dismissed gruffly. “Nathalie, move on—ah, there’s my son.”

Adrien looked up at the commotion by the door. Nathalie was a few paces into the room, tablet in hand, displaying Gabriel’s stern face.

“Wait!” A girl with wildly curly, red hair—the one who had raised her voice—tailed Nathalie like a rejected puppy begging for attention, but the older woman shot her a look of distaste and kept moving. What was the girl’s name? Anaïs? Esmeralda? Ah… Anastasie.

“Hello, Adrien, Miss Dupain-Cheng, and…?” Nathalie leveled a gaze at Juleka, as a formality.

Juleka mumbled her name, intelligible to none except those who already knew it.

“Juleka,” Marinette introduced.

“Good evening,” Gabriel greeted, then prompted, “Nathalie, please.”

At the subtle command, Nathalie began to orbit Adrien’s body slowly with the tablet, displaying his outfit from all angles.

“Miss Dupain-Cheng,” Gabriel barked, causing Marinette to jump.

“Yes, sir,” she squeaked, peering into the tablet’s camera space.

“Did you make everything yourself?”

“Yes, except for the mask and the bracers, which I designed and had manufactured,” she answered, several pitches higher than usual.

“You handled all the negotiations yourself?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Very well. Is the leather real?”

“On the pants, yes. Not the turtleneck, though—it’s polyester and spandex faux-leather, lined internally with a moisture-wicking material that breathes more easily for physical exercise.”

Gabriel’s low hum indicated that he was satisfied with the answer.

“And how does this piece reflect the theme, ‘Maturity,’ Miss Dupain-Cheng?”

Adrien winced at the interrogation Marinette was receiving. She seemed to be handling it fine, though, in spite of her obvious nerves.

“It’s a version of Chat Noir’s suit that would look flattering even on an older physique,” Marinette explained, “which basically means more layers and strategic cuts. Even a well-toned male adult figure would look awkward in a skin-tight suit. My other piece is Ladybug’s costume, to match.”

Gabriel’s expression was stony, but he nodded in acknowledgement. “Well done, Miss Dupain-Cheng. Your work is worthy to be worn by my son.”

Adrien breathed an internal sigh of relief, letting a tiny smile escape on Marinette’s behalf, despite his irritation at his father’s condescending implication that there was clothing unworthy to be worn by him.

“Would you like to see the other—?” Nathalie started, before Gabriel cut her off.

“No, it’s quite all right. I’ll see the rest of the pieces during the show. Let’s go, Nathalie.”

“Yes, sir.” Nathalie strode out of the room without a second glance at Juleka.

The girl Anastasie was still near the door, her models standing by, looking positively livid at having been brushed off. “He can’t  _ really  _ approve of her work—it’s just because she’s dating his  _ son,” _ she scoffed loudly to her models as soon as Gabriel’s virtual stand-in was out of earshot, earning herself twin death glares from Adrien and Juleka, as Marinette tried to pretend she couldn’t hear. “Getting him to model for her was a cheap trick!”

“Don’t mind her, she’s just jealous,” Adrien whispered to Marinette.

“You should take her griping as a compliment.” Leaning in to the mirror, Juleka finally got started with applying her foundation. “It means she feels threatened.”

“I know, but…” Marinette looked troubled. “I  _ do  _ sort of feel like I cheated. Everything looks great on you, Adrien.”

“If my father didn’t genuinely like your work, he wouldn’t let me model. You heard him… ‘Your work is worthy of my son,’” Adrien mimicked with a roll of his eyes. “Puh-lease. One of these days, I’m going to  _ dare  _ to go out in department store sweats.”

Marinette giggled at the mental image. “You  _ wouldn’t! _ Just don’t let me be anywhere near you if you ever go out in questionable clothing. Your father would ban me from your life forever for being a bad influence.”

Adrien pulled her into his arms. “On the contrary. I’m entrusting  _ you  _ to keep me from the dark side, Fashion Jedi.”

Hardly five minutes had passed before screams broke out in the dressing room, and someone barreled into Juleka from behind.

“Hey, watch it,” she hissed, narrowly saving her eyeliner from a massive smear.

Just then, a neon yellow tape measure lassoed Juleka around the waist and, pulled by its wielder, spun her around comically like a top.

“No! Juleka!!” Marinette cried, as Adrien gasped in horror.

A whirlwind of magic sparkles and exploding fabric later, Juleka was gone, replaced with what looked like a performer from a grotesque circus—giant shoulder pads, severe black and white lines, white face paint, vacant eyes rimmed with thick eyeliner.

“Akuma.” Marinette’s voice was tight with urgency as she grabbed Adrien’s arm, yanking him away from the former Juleka, who produced a tape measure and was looking around slowly for a victim. “Hurry, let’s get out of here!”

The room was filling up with fashion zombies.

“They all look like flamboyant versions of Anastasie’s designs,” Adrien observed, using a garment bag as a shield to get to the door. “She must be the victim.”

The fashion zombies seemed to have the same power to transform people into hideously clothed runway models as the original akumatized victim, but moved much more slowly, as if trapped underwater. The akumatized victim herself was dressed in black and white, like one of her creations, her red hair gathered in a neat bun that seemed to have black and white ball-end pins sticking out of it, like a pincushion. The whole scheme reminded Adrien of Zombizou.

“You think you can escape from Fashionista?” the akumatized victim shrieked, lassoing another student who was trying to escape from the room. Marinette and Adrien took advantage of the distraction to slip out into the hall. “Gabriel Agreste  _ will _ acknowledge my designs!”

“Find a place to hide,” Adrien urged Marinette. “I’m gonna—uhh—warn whoever’s in the bathroom.” He jabbed a thumb at the men’s bathroom.

Marinette nodded vigorously and dashed down the hall without a word, and surprisingly without any qualms about splitting up.

_ That was easy, _ Adrien thought, brushing away the shadow of a suspicion.

Adrien’s retreat into the bathroom to transform was forestalled by the highlighter-colored tape measure zipping out to lasso a student who was on his way out of it. Fashionista rounded on Adrien like a lioness cornering her next prey.

Acting on reflex to get out of Fashionista’s range of attack, Adrien sprinted down the hall, opened the first door he came to, and dashed inside. It was a private dressing room with enough space for one or two people to comfortably fit, the only seat being a stool in front of a well-lit vanity. “Plagg,” Adrien called out, “Claws ou—”

He hadn’t finished saying the transformation words when the door suddenly burst open and slammed shut again behind a panting Ladybug. She bolted the door.

“L-Ladybug!” Adrien exclaimed, surprised to see her already on scene. “When did you get here?!”

Ladybug whirled around in surprise, noticing for the first time that there was someone else in the room. “Adrien?!” she cried with an equal measure of surprise. “Thank goodness you haven’t been turned. The wing is filling up with zombies—it’s pandemonium. Right now, I’m way too vulnerable out there without Chat Noir to watch my back… it’s too tight, too crowded, and I’ve already had a few close calls. However, I’m pretty sure she plans to take all these horrid models to… your father.” Ladybug’s eyes softened apologetically. “To show them off. Meaning, they’ve got to leave the building at some point. I figured I’d wait things out a bit, and once they clear the hall, I can come out and intercept before they do any real damage. I’m sure Chat Noir will show up by then!” 

Adrien felt the grip of anxiety that he wasn’t leather-clad yet despite Ladybug waiting for him and danger on their heels, but he should have plenty of time to slip away and transform by the time they got out of the building. “Yeah, I’m sure he’ll turn up soon. You’ve got this, Ladybug,” he encouraged. “You’ll pull it off beautifully, as usual.”

Ladybug clasped Adrien’s hand with determination. “Don’t worry, I won’t let anything happen to your father!”

Despite the tense environment and against his will, Adrien’s heart lurched at the gesture. Ladybug rarely initiated contact with him; and it was the first time he had touched her hand without his miraculous activated. Not that he could feel her skin, but the smooth, geometric pattern of her suit against his bare fingers still felt more intimate than usual. “Uh, t-thanks, Ladybug,” he stammered, feeling his cheeks and the tips of his ears prickle as warmth entered them. He steered his mind away from thoughts of Ladybug. “Hey, did you happen to see Marinette out there? You know her, right?”

Ladybug nodded sagely. “Marinette should be safe. I saw her make it outside with a couple of your classmates. Anyway, don’t worry! Once Chat Noir and I wrap up this battle, everything and everyone will go right back to normal.” She smiled and squeezed the hand she was still holding again, comfortingly.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Adrien agreed, averting his eyes. “Anyway, Marinette’s really smart… I know she’s capable of taking care of herself, but I can’t help but worry.”

His mind wasn’t working right with Ladybug still holding his hand. He wondered if she realized what she was doing. She probably meant nothing by it—Ladybug held civilians’ hands all the time, to comfort them. Trying to distract himself from Ladybug’s hand, Adrien thought about Marinette, wondering where she had gone off to… wondering what the chances might be that he and Marinette had ended up in the same place. He looked at Ladybug’s slender fingers wrapped around his hand, and hazarded a glance at her face.

He caught the tail end of a smile, as if she were thinking a pleasant thought, before she released his hand, her eyes taking on their usual ‘superhero duty’ spark. She spun around to face the door and opened it experimentally, only to hastily slam and lock it again a moment later. “Still full of zombies,” she reported.

“It’s okay. We’ll wait it out,” Adrien reassured, hiding his nervousness about the prospect of being locked up in close quarters with Ladybug for an extended period of time.

Ladybug turned around and leaned against the door, then waved a hand vaguely at the stool in an invitation for Adrien to have a seat. “I don’t know how long we’ll have to wait in here. May as well get comfortable.”

“No, you go ahead,” Adrien entreated, taking his turn to wave invitingly at the stool.

“Why don’t we just—” Ladybug pushed the stool under the vanity counter and perched on the edge of it. “There.”

She patted the space beside her, and Adrien joined her on the lip of the counter. His hip accidentally bumped hers and he flinched away from her awkwardly. “Sorry.”

Ladybug giggled, a bit frantically. “No worries!”

Adrien put his hand on the counter to steady himself, landing it squarely on hers. They both jumped apart. “Sorry again!”

“It’s okay!” Ladybug patted his shoulder stiffly with another giggle, then tugged his arm toward her. “Relax. Sit down, Adrien.”

He complied, looking anywhere but at Ladybug. “So, uh…” Adrien felt the need to fill up the silence, which was still underlaid with the muffled hullabaloo from the hall. “You got here pretty quickly.”

“Oh! Right.” Ladybug laughed nervously again. Adrien figured she must be high-strung because she was worried about accidentally cluing him in to her civilian identity. “I happened to be in, er, in the area, and when Alya posted about the akuma on the Ladyblog, I came right away!”

Adrien nodded in understanding. The hall was lined with several dressing rooms, and Alya had been going from one to the next, recording interviews for the school blog. She would surely have posted to the Ladyblog as soon as the action started. Yet, something about the way Ladybug said “Alya” sounded too familiar. He pushed down the question of whether Ladybug might have already been in the building to begin with, in her civilian form.

Ladybug fidgeted. “I hate being a sitting duck.”

“I still hear them in the hall.”

“I know…” Ladybug groaned. “But I feel pathetic hiding in here.”

“Relax,” Adrien soothed. “Your plan makes sense… don’t second-guess yourself. It would be stupid to rush out now and be turned. Who would save Paris if you got zombie-fied?”

Ladybug bit her lip. “I hope you’re right.”

“I’m right, because  _ you’re  _ right.” Adrien winked, and noted the pink glow that appeared below Ladybug’s mask.

After a brief silence between them, Ladybug turned to Adrien. “Hey, Adrien?” Her tone was surprisingly soft and vulnerable, not like what he was used to hearing from Ladybug.

“Y-yes?”

“Um… do you ever… think about the time I saved you?” A fierce blush bloomed across her face as the words dropped from her lips.

Adrien blinked. “What do you mean?”

“You know… when Gorizilla dropped you off Montparnasse Tower? That must have been really traumatic for you.”

“Hm…” Adrien stared at the door, remembering. He hadn’t been too scared. He trusted Ladybug, and he had been through worse as Chat Noir. A regular civilian probably would have been scared, though. He  _ should  _ have been scared. “Yeah,” he replied noncommittally, only because it was probably the right thing to say. “It was pretty nerve wracking. But I knew you would save me, so I wasn’t too worried.”

Ladybug gasped. “You ‘weren’t too worried’?! … Okay, I fully intended to save you right away, but—and I’m only saying this now, since enough time has passed that I hope this information doesn’t traumatize you—but Gorizilla had me in a  _ death grip. _ If he hadn’t suddenly let go, for seemingly no reason…”

Ladybug didn’t finish the sentence. Adrien was silent, unsure how to respond appropriately. Of course he shouldn’t assume that Ladybug was capable of defying the laws of physics to save him, even if she wanted to, and even if he trusted her. Yet, he had faith in her, probably to a fanatical degree, and placing his life in her hands was an easy decision. Maybe that would be his downfall someday, but he somehow didn’t mind that thought.

The sounds of screaming, groaning, and scrabbling swelled eerily from the hallway, drawing his attention. How many students were in this venue and how long would it take them to vacate the hall?

“Be more cautious.” Ladybug’s voice shook, and when he turned to her, Adrien realized she was on the verge of tears. “People care about you.”

“Hey,” he cooed, placing a hand on her shoulder. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have put that burden on you. I was stupid. Forgive me… please.”

“I’m the one who told you to jump,” Ladybug admitted miserably, hanging her head.

Adrien stroked back her bangs to reveal her eyes, in time to see tears spill from the corners, over her mask. “It’s been bothering you,” he realized out loud.

Ladybug stilled, then nodded subtly. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “It could have been my fault if you—”

“Nope.” Adrien cut her off. “That didn’t happen—you  _ saved _ me. So don’t be sorry.” Without thinking, Adrien wrapped his arms around her. She relaxed into him, her body shaken with soft sobs. Both seemed to forget who they were. It felt natural for Adrien to hold Ladybug and comfort her like this. Just as natural as it felt for Marinette to collapse into Adrien’s arms.

“Sorry.” Ladybug straightened, wiping her eyes. “Wow. I didn’t mean to go to pieces over you like that.”

Only after Ladybug separated herself did Adrien realize how strange it was for Ladybug and Adrien Agreste to be embracing one another like that. He clasped his hands in his lap, feeling strange, like he had wandered into a twilight zone. “It’s no problem. Uh—sorry about that. I thought you needed a hug,” he explained his actions clumsily.  _ It was nothing romantic, _ he rationalized,  _ Just comforting a friend. _ Though calling Ladybug a friend of Adrien Agreste was still a bit of a stretch.

“Um… I was just wondering… why did you trust me so much?” Ladybug asked in a small voice. “You didn’t even know me.”

It wasn’t an accusation, just a statement that should have been true. Adrien studied her profile. She had a subdued air about her. “Maybe not,” he shrugged. “But I believed in you.”

“Why?”

This whole interaction was painful. It was such a lie. Adrien wanted to tell her—“Because I know you better than anyone. I trust you more than I trust myself. You’re my other half.” The words were on the tip of his tongue. Instead of saying them, he smiled and shook his head. “Because you’re Ladybug,” he answered mysteriously.

The answer was clearly not satisfying, judging by the worried, frustrated look on Ladybug’s face. Adrien wondered why she was so invested in this.

Ladybug bit her lip and tried another angle. “I’ve heard about people developing… feelings… for a person who’s saved their life. Do you think…? I mean, did that…?” She seemed to be too shy to complete the thought. “Never mind,” she mumbled. “I don’t know why I’m asking you about all this.”

Adrien sat up straight and looked at Ladybug in shock. “Wait, did someone tell you?” Marinette would never. Was it Alya or Nino? Or could it be that—

_ Ladybug is Marinette,  _ his subconscious calmly supplied.  _ Of course she knows. _

Adrien grit his teeth. False. Wishful thinking. The easy way out. If  _ only  _ things were that simple. The thought only told him that he was still dangerously hung up on Ladybug.

Ladybug’s eyes were innocently wide. “Tell me what?”

“That I…” Adrien’s voice faltered and he looked away, furrowing his brow. Time to man up. “Okay, I may as well admit it. I had feelings for you. But I have a girlfriend now, and she’s the most wonderful person I know.” Adrien made sure to chase the confession with the fact that he wasn’t available. He needed to be the one to draw the line. “Not that you aren’t wonderful. But Marinette… she’s special. I love her… I  _ don’t _ want to betray her.” The last sentence came out sounding a bit like a warning, though Adrien intended it more for himself than Ladybug.

Ladybug’s surprised expression softened into a mature smile. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I don’t know why I was asking those things… I was just… being an idiot.”

“Don’t worry about it. You’re not an idiot.” Adrien smiled, but he felt unnerved. Why would Ladybug ask if he had developed feelings for her? The only thing that made sense was that Ladybug was Marinette and she was still trying to find out why Adrien had fallen for Ladybug in the first place. But he couldn’t fall into thinking of Marinette and Ladybug as the same person again. He shook his head to clear away those thoughts and shifted his attention to the door. “Hey… it sounds quiet out there.”

“You’re right.” Ladybug sprang up, unbolting the door, and opened it to peer into the hall. “Coast is clear.”

“Let’s go!”

—

It wasn’t until after Ladybug and Adrien made it out the building that she was preoccupied enough to allow him to break away from her. He dashed back in through the backstage door and transformed quickly in the deserted hallway.

When Chat Noir finally caught up to the action, the zombies had formed a throng outside the Agreste mansion, just as Ladybug had predicted would happen.

He scanned the vicinity for red and black polka dots. He spotted her staked out on a nearby rooftop, his heart leaping when her clear blue eyes met his, and her face lit up.

_ “Chaton,” _ she mouthed, waving him over.

He vaulted over the crowd onto the rooftop and joined her in a crouch. “Hey, LB.”

“Hey, Chaton.” She gave him the same soft smile she had given Adrien just minutes ago. Strange. Ladybug’s usual attitude this early in a battle was teasingly haughty and a bit aloof. She only acted like this toward him during rare moments, usually after a near-death experience. If it weren’t for Marinette, Chat Noir’s heart would be fluttering with hope that he was making some progress in winning her over. “Ready to take that akuma down?”

“Ready  _ fur _ anything with you at my side, Milady.” Somehow, his tone didn’t come out as playful as he intended. Ladybug cocked her head and looked at him curiously. Chat Noir couldn’t shake the feeling that something was different between them. “So, what’s the plan?”

—

Everything clicked smoothly into place, and in no time, the little white butterfly was flapping off into the distance. Hundreds of magic ladybugs restored the scenery and returned hundreds of de-zombified students to the fashion show venue, leaving two adrenaline-hyped superheroes on a roof, bathing in the triumph of a battle well-fought and well-ended.

“Bien joué.” Fists met in their customary bump, but Chat Noir caught Ladybug’s eyes following him as he drew away from her. 

“What is it?” he questioned, then decided to just be honest and get to the root of the matter. “You’ve been acting different today, Bugaboo. Is something wrong?”

Ladybug’s lips parted, caught off guard. “N-no, nothing’s wrong.” She averted her gaze in a surprisingly shy gesture. Although… it was a mannerism he had seen dozens of times in Marinette.

Chat Noir stepped closer to her, and her eyes flicked back up to track his movements. She didn’t move, as if she were paralyzed in place.

He cupped her cheek and peered into her eyes, and she matched his gaze unflinchingly. “Don’t you have to be somewhere very soon?”

“I  _ was _ in the middle of something when the akuma appeared,” she admitted in a murmur.

“Maybe you should hurry back.”

Her eyelashes fluttered as she blinked, and even through his gloves, he felt her face heat up.

He was almost positive she was Marinette, late for the fashion show. Her eyes reflected the light of the sinking sun, and the wind tugged her bangs and the loose tendrils of her hair, making the silky filaments sparkle. His heart raced as Marinette’s name repeated in his mind, fighting to make it past his lips. “My Lady,” he whispered, stroking a thumb across her plush cheek.

“Chat Noir…?” Her voice was tentative and questioning, but her wide eyes showed that she was just as transfixed as he was. Did she know…? Had she figured it out? He had been laying it on thick during the fitting… 

If he was right… he was so utterly, hopelessly in love with this girl in front of him. He felt like he was looking at her through a pane of one-way, soundproof glass. He could see her, but she couldn’t see him. Or could she? Maybe she could, but he had no way of knowing or confirming when there was this thick pane of glass between them.

He had no way of knowing whether he was just deluding himself with this whole conceit that Ladybug and Marinette were the same person.

That was the thought that broke the spell. Sighing forlornly, Chat Noir pulled Ladybug closer and folded her into a tight embrace, laying his cheek on the top of her head. Surprisingly, she put up no protest, returning the hug. She felt so perfect in his arms. So like Marinette. Why couldn’t they just be straightforward?

“Chat…?” Ladybug’s voice was small. She patted his back with one hand. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, just…” He didn’t let go, letting the hug say what he wasn’t allowed to put into words:  _ I love you. My dazzling Ladybug, my sweet Marinette… you are everything to me.  _ “I… I appreciate you,” he finished, voice thick.

“I appreciate you too, Chat Noir…”

He felt her back rise and fall in a deep breath, and she buried her face in the crook of his shoulder, seeming to acquiesce to the moment, even through the haze of confusion.

Their miraculouses beeped. Chat Noir released Ladybug. “You’re late,” he whispered.

Ladybug laughed nervously. “How would you know whether I’m late, Chaton?”

He was acutely attentive to the fact that she didn’t sound as mocking and dismissive as usual. Instead, she sounded confused and uncertain. He forced himself to shrug and say, “I don’t, but we both have lives. Thanks to you, I’ve still got all nine.” He gave her a typical Chat Noir grin, and she pinched his cheek.

“Let’s get going then, silly kitty.”

He intercepted her pinching hand and gave her knuckles a kiss, half an experiment in how she would react. She blushed uncharacteristically, making his insides turn in knots.

What was going on?

“Bye, Ladybug,” he breathed.

She waved, smiled shyly, threw her yo-yo, and was gone.

—

Adrien struck a dramatic battle pose, his back to Juleka, admiring her poise out of his peripheral vision. With the audience lights dimmed and a mask on her face, Juleka exuded confidence he had never seen in her before. He made a mental note to ask Nathalie if she could start being tested for photoshoots. Gabriel had some urban style pieces that might work with purple-dyed hair.

He shifted his weight and repositioned for a second pose, then whirled around and made his way back up the catwalk, stepping in time with the pounding beat of the music.

He and Juleka slipped behind the curtains, black-clad stagehands giving them thumbs up as they passed through a narrow corridor to the stage-left wing, through a door, down the hall to the backstage area. The makeup artists, models and designers who had been watching on a little television in the main dressing room erupted in cheers when Adrien and Juleka walked in. Anastasie gave them a reluctant half-smile and nod of approval.

Adrien scanned the room for Marinette and saw her pushing through the crowd to get to them. She immediately held out her arms to pull both him and Juleka into a hug, giggling. Her cheeks were flushed with excitement and joy. “Great job, guys! Thank you so much for modeling for me. You guys are the  _ best.” _

“Anytime, Marinette,” Juleka mumbled, nuzzling her head affectionately before extracting herself from the hug and meeting Adrien’s eyes. “Go ahead, have your moment.”

Adrien held up his hand to Juleka for a high five. “You did great out there, Jules.”

Juleka tapped his palm with hers, ducking her head bashfully, mumbling a “Thanks, Agreste.”

“And you, Marinette, my Princess—” Adrien tackled Marinette in a hug and planted an exuberant kiss on top of her head. “You are amazing! I’m so proud of you!” As she giggled in his arms, Adrien noted achingly that she felt the same as Ladybug had felt earlier that day. The thought sent a pang of guilt through him, like an electric shock. Was he really still doing this? He didn’t have any proof, and he had already vowed to keep the two girls separate in his mind.

_ “You’re _ amazing, Adrien.” Marinette stood on her tiptoes to give him a gentle kiss on the cheek and whispered in his ear, “I love you so much… Thank you for doing this for me.”

The guilt intensified. “Of course, Princess.”

“You must be hungry… wanna come over for a bit after the show? I’m sure we have some leftovers. Maman made a killer stew last night.”

Adrien stroked back her bangs, the same exact shade and length as Ladybug’s. Was it possible for him to think about her without thinking of Ladybug? It was as if seeing Ladybug that day had opened the dam of all the thoughts he had tried to repress. Once again, he felt like his brain was splitting open. “Sure.”

Marinette smiled sweetly, sending yet another pang of guilt straight into Adrien’s heart.

—

That night, after a light meal and a couple of pastries, Marinette and Adrien curled up on the chaise longue under a fluffy white throw blanket, watching the Fruits Basket remake on Marinette’s tablet.

The art was pretty, but Adrien couldn’t focus on the storyline. His mind was preoccupied by swirling thoughts about Marinette and Ladybug and what was the right thing to do.

This situation was not going to get better unless they could be fully honest. He was happy, but equally conflicted, and it was eating him from the inside out.

“Marinette,” he uttered suddenly.

“Hm?” She looked up, alarmed at his deadly serious tone.

“There’s…” He licked his lips. “There’s something we need to talk about. Can we pause this?”

Marinette paused the show and set down the tablet, her eyebrows slanting in concern. “What’s wrong?”

Adrien wrung his hands nervously. “I just want to say, first and foremost, that I love you.”

Marinette went still and silent, and where their legs were touching, he felt her begin to shake.

“Marinette…” He hated everything about this. He wrapped one arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer, as if it could do anything to keep her rightful anxiety at bay. “I mean it, okay? I’m not doing this because I don’t love you.”

“Doing what,” she whispered weakly, not having the strength even to make it sound like a question.

Adrien bit his lip. “I’m probably being an idiot, and I’m sure I’ll regret this, but… I can’t keep doing this. I feel terrible. I just… know I’m going to hate myself more and more, the longer this goes on.”

“The longer  _ what _ goes on?” Marinette demanded.

“I…” Adrien let go of Marinette and buried his head in his hands. “I know I told you I was done pining after Ladybug, and I wasn’t lying, I promise. But I keep thinking about her—and you—and it’s driving me crazy. I don’t want to do this to you. I don’t want to mix my feelings for you with my feelings for her. It isn’t fair. Please, just give me time to set my mind straight. I love you, Marinette… I want to love only you. Please don’t hate me for this. I-I think we should break up, for now.”

“.... What? But…” Marinette gaped at him, confused and hurt. “Didn’t I tell you it was fine? I understand. I told you it was okay, about Ladybug. I don’t hate you—I don’t think badly of you at all. Why do we have to break up?”

“… I… I mean…” Adrien sighed heavily. “I don’t know, Marinette. It’s not like I want to. But I feel horrible about everything and I don’t know how else to fix it.”

“If you don’t want to… then let’s not,” Marinette implored.

“I…” Adrien sighed and shook his head, repeating feebly, “I can’t keep doing this.”

“But Adrien…” Marinette stroked her fingers through his bangs and hooked his jaw, drawing his face out of his hands. Her eyes were large and glassy, full of emotion. “I love you. Didn’t I say I didn’t mind waiting for you? So, if you think you’re doing this for  _ my  _ good, don’t. Unless you… don’t like me anymore.”

Adrien’s heart shattered at her crushed expression, and he wrapped his arms around her. “Didn’t I just say that I  _ love  _ you, Marinette?” He squeezed her tightly. “I really, really love you. But right now, the guilt is killing me… I’m sorry if this is selfish, but… I’d rather suffer alone than drag you into it. You don’t deserve it. Please don’t make me guilty of… infidelity. Just… give me time, okay? To sort out my heart. Please. If you really love me, please wait for me.”

“Okay,” Marinette responded numbly into his chest. “If you think you’ll be happier this way.”

“It’s… not that I’d be  _ happier…” _ He felt wetness bleed through his shirt, and her back spasmed with sobs.  _ Just like Ladybug, _ the unwanted thought drifted to the front of his consciousness.

His own eyes filled with tears of frustration.  _ If it’s you, _ he pleaded,  _ just tell me! _

“What about the media?” Marinette mumbled. “Are we going to tell them?”

Adrien groaned. He hadn’t considered it. Why was everything in his life such a pain? “We don’t have to say anything,” he responded softly. “If… if that’s okay with you. It would just be a lot more trouble than it’s worth.”

“So… we’re breaking up in secret?”

That was the ugly truth of it.

“I’m sorry,” Adrien rasped. “I know it sounds bad. It  _ is  _ bad. But  _ please  _ understand. I’m not trying to be a terrible person. I don’t even want to break up with you. God…” He felt like his destructive curse was rearing its head again. “You must think I’m a terrible person.”

“No, I don’t.” Marinette sighed. “I get it. I don’t want to make you feel conflicted. I understand.”

Adrien released a dissatisfied puff of breath. He was sick of all the secrets and half-truths. How could she really understand when they kept dancing around the real issue? He wanted to tell Marinette  _ one  _ thing that was completely, one hundred percent true. “You want to know what it really is, Marinette?”

She peered up at him with teary eyes.

“It’s not that I’m holding out for Ladybug. It’s that… I keep thinking  _ you’re  _ Ladybug,” he declared, defiantly overriding all the mental filters that threatened to block his words. “She talked to me today. We were stuck in a dressing room for, what… ten minutes? Twenty? We talked. And all I could think was, she’s Marinette. I’m talking to Marinette. And my heart was going crazy. I keep seeing you in her, and because of that, I  _ can’t  _ stop loving her until I reprogram my brain to stop seeing you two as the same person.” There. He had said it, and how liberating it felt.

Marinette’s mouth fell open, and she paled. This whole thing—Adrien deciding he needed to break up with her—might be her fault. And if her suspicions were true, she might have just made it exponentially worse.

Adrien’s insides churned as he watched her reaction, making him instantly regret his honesty. Great. He’d managed to scare her with his obsessive, delusional thoughts. “Stupid, right?” Adrien laughed coldly at himself. “I know, I’m crazy. That’s why I think we need to wait until I’ve got my head screwed on right.”

Marinette closed her mouth and took a deep breath, shaking her head. “Adrien… I don’t think you’re stupid or crazy at all. You’re trying to reconcile your feelings. Don’t blame yourself. I can imagine it would be hard to let go of your feelings for Ladybug if you thought there was a chance you didn’t have to.” She didn’t confirm or deny anything—she only laid her head on his chest and wrapped her arms around his waist, hugging him tight and somehow making his heart swell toward her even more. “Don’t worry. I’ll wait for you.”

They held one another, both filled with love tinged with uncertainty, discomfort, and heartbreak.

This whole thing was stupid, Adrien thought. Why couldn’t they be straightforward? If she was Ladybug, why couldn’t she just tell him and make all of this better? Didn’t she know that would fix everything? Maybe she wasn’t Ladybug, then, because how cruel would it be for her to refuse him that confession? He must be deluding himself. She wasn’t Ladybug. Marinette would never be that cruel. Adrien’s tears dropped hotly into her hair.

“Marinette… please believe that I love you,” Adrien begged, kissing her head and breathing in her scent.

“Then why do we have to break up?” she whispered despondently. “Does it really make a difference if we still love each other?”

“It’s a matter of principle. Anyway, maybe it won’t be for long,” he whispered back, choking on the words.

Wishful thinking. He had no idea how he was going to fix himself or how long it would take.

“Maybe I should leave,” Adrien murmured.

Marinette didn’t say anything, trying to bury deeper into his arms.

“I’m sorry.” Adrien nuzzled the top of her head and stroked her cheek, before releasing his hold. “I think it’s best if I go.” 

Marinette rolled aside as he threw off the blanket and slid off the chaise longue.

He couldn’t bear to look back, knowing that if he saw her beautiful blue eyes, tear-filled and watching him sadly, he wouldn’t be able to escape.

—

That night, Adrien played the piano for hours until the muscles in his hands were tight and sore. He didn’t know if he had made the right decision, but what could he do?  _ Nothing  _ felt right. He tried to numb his mind with the music.

His phone kept sounding with incoming messages from Marinette that he didn’t have the heart or strength to check. He hated to hurt her, but what could he say that would make things better right now? All he wanted to do was reiterate that he loved her, but the words sounded like a lie after he had just dumped her. Even his own rationalization that he was doing this to give her what she properly deserved had started to sour in his mind, leaving him with a residue of self-loathing. He put his phone on silent and turned it around on the music rack to avoid seeing the notifications.

“Why do you do this to yourself, Kid?” Plagg watched him from the cover of the piano, having the sensitivity not to tease him. “I thought you were happy with Bakery Girl.”

“I love her,” he lamented.

“Then why did you break up with her?”

“Because I still love Ladybug,” Adrien wailed. “I can’t stop! I can’t stop thinking they’re the same person! She couldn’t even tell me, ‘Yes, it’s true,’ or ‘No, I’m not her.’ This is driving me crazy, Plagg.”

Plagg narrowed his eyes and shook his head, wishing he could just spit it out and put Adrien out of his misery. The drama was becoming ridiculous. Instead, he zipped off to hide in Adrien’s trophy, where he had hidden a delightfully gooey, delectably aged, ripe morsel of Camembert. It wasn’t worth jeopardizing his amicable relationship with Tikki once the two idiots finally figured it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! So. What did you think?
> 
> When I posted this on YouTube, some people were angry with Adrien and/or Marinette, while other people understood. What about you?
> 
> I was worried (as I'm sure Adrien was also worried when explaining to Marinette) that Adrien's statements in the previous chapter would come across as insincere since he's now deciding to break up with her. However, I think that the interactions with Ladybug made him very unhappy with his own feelings.
> 
> So, I'm curious if you understand why Adrien decided that he should break up with Marinette. I have my own reasoning behind why I chose to write him that way, and it was NOT to cause unnecessary drama, but I'm curious if _you_ are able to sympathize with him without any additional explanations from me, so I'll refrain from saying any more.
> 
> Let me know your thoughts! Thank you guys so much for reading as always! <33


	24. Bridal Style

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette and Tikki have a heated discussion; Marinette crashes Adrien's photoshoot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Okay, so I decided to post this here before making the recording after all. Feedback is nice, and if there's anything that isn't working, I'd like to be able to fix it before I make the recording. So, please don't hold back with your critique if anything rubs you the wrong way.
> 
> P.S. Full disclosure, there is nothing bridal in here. I took extreme liberties with the prompt title. As in, I used bridal imagery and palettes as inspiration for the photoshoot and that was pretty much it. I hope you enjoy the chapter anyway!

“I’m not talking about _everyone _and Hawkmoth’s mother, I’m talking about just _him!”_

“The best kept secrets are those you never share,” Tikki admonished gently.

Marinette buried her head under the comforter and sobbed, sniffling with every inhalation.

Tikki nudged her way under the comforter and tickled Marinette’s face with a tissue. She accepted it and blew her nose.

“I’m sorry, Marinette. I know it isn’t easy, but Master Fu chose you because you’re strong and responsible enough to do the right thing.”

The words were bitter, like chasing mint with orange juice.

“What’s the worst that can happen?” Marinette mumbled into the comforter.

“The end of the world?”

“That’s ridiculous, Tikki! You don’t have to exaggerate!!”

“I’m not exaggerating, Marinette! The role of miraculous holders is to keep this world in equilibrium—a minor imbalance can have devastating effects! There’s a reason we kwamis are hard-wired not to be able to speak the names of our holders even to other kwamis.”

“But you and Chat Noir’s kwami have seen us!” Marinette countered. “Alya and Nino know about each other, and nothing horrific has happened yet!”

“You know there’s a difference, Marinette,” Tikki cautioned. “Alya and Nino don’t keep their miraculouses on at all times the way you and Chat Noir do. Hawkmoth isn’t after _their _miraculouses.”

Tikki was right, and Marinette wasn’t happy about it at all. Failing to come up with an argument, she succumbed to a fresh wave of tears, curling tighter under the blankets. Tikki pressed against Marinette’s cheek to comfort her.

“This isn’t fair… he loves me.” She sniffed. “He’s suffering for absolutely no reason. Why can’t I just tell him?”

“All right, Marinette. Go ahead and tell him,” Tikki challenged, losing patience. “Then go and say goodbye to Chat Noir, since you’ll have to give up being Ladybug.”

Annoyance flickered in Marinette’s chest, and she sat up. “Don’t sass me, Tikki. It’s not like I’m trying to be rebellious... I just need a solution!”

“There are some things in life that you can’t solve by charging forward and doing something, Marinette. Sometimes you just have to be patient. You can’t tell him you’re Ladybug, so until he’s ready to be with only Marinette, you’ll have to wait.”

“But he already knows who I am! He can sense it! Why should he have to suffer for being right?”

“He doesn’t know, he _suspects,” _Tikki corrected.

“Oh! And speaking of Chat Noir—”

Tikki let out a high pitched sound of exasperation and flitted away from Marinette, who leaned over the loft rail after her.

“Why can’t _you _just tell _me? _Is he Chat Noir or not? I know you know who he is—Ha!” Marinette interjected with an ironic laugh—“And I _also _know you’re not going to tell me, but you know what? I think he _is _Chat Noir. All the puns, and calling me Princess and everything, I don’t know why I didn’t see it before. What’s the use of secrecy if we already know? Isn’t it more dangerous that we’re agonizing over identities instead of focusing on how to defeat Hawkmoth?”

“Marinette…” Tikki warned, crossing her arms and shaking her head at her chosen’s borderline hysteria. “First of all… calm down.”

Marinette pressed her lips together, seething, her cheeks still wet with tears. “I am calm.”

“Good. Secondly, what proof do you have that Adrien is Chat Noir?”

“They act the same,” Marinette insisted.

“Yes, when Adrien was dressed like Chat Noir and trying to act like him,” Tikki reasoned. “You know he’s a talented actor. There’s no need to jump to conclusions.”

Marinette opened her mouth, then closed it again, reevaluating what she knew. Was that all it was? Surely not. Didn’t he pun all the time? Didn’t Marinette have a black cat strap hanging on her phone that he had given her? Didn’t he push to call their fictional café the Black Cat Café when they did that English project together? It wasn’t normal to be so fixated on black cats.

He had written that he saw Ladybug every day. Ladybug did _not_ see Adrien every day... but Ladybug _did_ see Chat Noir almost every day.

And the ‘Princess’ nickname? Adrien had no reason to know Chat Noir called her that, and the way he said it was just the same… he was a fool if he thought he could pass it off as a coincidence. He was so obvious. Subtlety had never been Chat Noir’s strong suit. The thought struck Marinette’s heart with a pang of longing fondness. Now that she felt like she could see him, what used to annoy her simultaneously filled her with excited curiosity and melted her heart.

The answer was clear—it made so much sense. Marinette glared at her kwami. “Tikki,” she intoned, “I trust you not to _lie _to me.”

“Marinette, I am only trying to protect you _and _the entire universe,” Tikki scolded, hands on her hips.

Marinette’s eyes filled with fresh tears when Tikki didn’t deny it. “I take that to mean that he _is _Chat but you’re just refusing to tell me. Please, can I tell him? I love him, Tikki. He’s beating himself up over nothing, and it’s not fair!”

“I’m sorry, Marinette, but I can’t condone you telling him only so you can be together. There are things more important than the love between two teenagers.” Tikki said it with warmth and compassion, but Marinette received the words like a door slamming in her face.

“I get it,” she spat bitterly, “Adrien’s happiness—and mine—aren’t important at all.” Her face crumpled as she curled into the covers again with her back toward Tikki, wracked with angry sobs.

The trap door creaked open, and Tikki disappeared in a flash.

“Marinette, I’m coming in,” Sabine called softly. When Marinette didn’t respond, she opened the trapdoor wider.

Marinette heard her mother set a tray down on her desk, and the quiet groan of the ladder as she began to ascend to Marinette’s bed.

“Sweetie,” Sabine cooed, “Are you crying? Are you all right? To whom were you speaking just now?”

“I’m fine, Maman, just sick.” Marinette’s congested voice was thick with tears. She ignored the last question and hoped her mother wouldn’t press.

“Do you want to talk, darling?” Sabine shuffled closer on her knees and stroked the lump of Marinette’s shoulder. “It’s okay… you don’t have to pretend. I know you’re not really sick.”

“It’s Adrien,” Marinette’s muffled voice escaped.

Sabine sighed. “Oh, sweetie. What happened?”

Marinette stayed still, trying to slow her tears and seriously consider what to tell her mother. She didn’t want a half-truth to snowball into accidentally telling her more than she needed to know. Instead, Marinette decided to ask for advice.

“Maman, what do you do if there’s a painful misunderstanding that you _know _could be fixed if you could just tell the whole truth, but you… can’t for some reason? Like, say you’re keeping a secret for someone else and they’d get hurt if you told the secret, so you’re obligated not to say anything, but at the same time, keeping that secret is hurting another person who’s really important to you?”

Sabine raised an eyebrow. “Is Adrien making you keep a secret that’s hurting someone?”

“No, no.” Marinette emerged from the covers, rubbing tears out of her eyes, and tucked her hair behind one ear. “He’s the other person who’s being hurt by a secret I have to keep.”

Sabine frowned and reached out to smooth a tangle in Marinette’s hair. “What is this secret? Are you okay?”

Marinette waved a hand dismissively and shook her head. “Don’t worry about the secret—it’s just a friend’s secret. But it’s caused a big misunderstanding that's making Adrien feel bad and think he’s not allowed to be with me even though he loves me… and I know I could fix everything by telling him the truth, but I just can’t betray my other friend like that, so now I don’t know what to do!”

Sabine took hold of Marinette’s hands, rubbing circles into them with her thumbs. “Relax, sweetie,” she soothed. “Rewind. Are you saying you and Adrien broke up?”

“Yes, we did…” Marinette admitted dolefully. “But don’t let that get out, please. The media doesn’t know yet.”

“Oh, _Ying Hua.” _Sabine gave her daughter a compassionate look and pulled her head down to plant a kiss on her forehead. “You know you can trust me with anything. I can’t give you the best advice without knowing the full situation, but if there’s something hurting him and you know the truth would set him at ease, why don’t you focus on reassuring him that there’s nothing to worry about?”

”Easier said than done… he isn’t responding.” Marinette thought of the barrage of text messages she had sent to Adrien, piled up in their messaging box unread. Her anxiety told her it was because breaking up meant they weren’t supposed to talk anymore, but the logical part of her brain latched on to the fact that he had said he still loved her, and was far too kind-hearted to do anything so callous, especially after having assured her that she was important to him.

Yet, he _had _avoided talking to her before… Doubts gnawed at Marinette like termites. What exactly was okay and not-okay now that they were no longer dating?

“Why didn’t you just go to school?” Sabine inquired rationally. “You could have talked to him there.”

Marinette bit her lip. She couldn’t tell her mother, ‘I stayed because I was too depressed to get up in time, then I got sucked into arguing with my kwami about letting me tell him that I’m actually the superhero he thinks he was emotionally cheating on me with.’ She went for another half truth. “I was so stressed out I didn’t finish my paper last night. I couldn’t come to class empty-handed.”

That was true, and it was part of the reason she hadn’t wanted to face the day that morning.

Sabine clicked her tongue disapprovingly. “Marinette, you shouldn’t let whatever is happening between you and Adrien affect your studies. I’m fine with letting you take a mental health day if you need it, but I don’t want to see you slacking in your schoolwork.”

“I know,” Marinette grumbled. “These were extenuating circumstances.”

Sabine frowned. “I brought you some soup and bread. Why don’t you get up, eat, and finish that paper? I’m sure you’ll start feeling better once you get something done. Wallowing has never helped anyone.”

“Okay,” Marinette conceded with a sigh.

Sabine tugged on Marinette’s hands. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. Even if you feel like you’re at an impasse, no situation lasts forever. Just do what you feel is right, and when you can’t do anything, be patient. If he really loves you, and you love him, you will find a way to see eye-to-eye without having to betray a friend.”

Marinette pondered whether this was true. She was starting to believe that revealing her identity—and possibly Adrien’s? The thought filled her with trepidation—was the only way to close the chasm between them. Nonetheless, her mother’s advice was solid, by normal human standards. “Yes, Maman. Thanks.”

“Come here, _Ying Hua _.” Sabine held out her arms, and Marinette crawled forward into her embrace, burying her face in her mother’s shoulder. “It’s very sweet of you to be concerned about not hurting Adrien, but if the secret isn’t yours to tell, you’ll just have to keep it. Maybe there’s another solution to the problem that hasn’t occurred to you yet.”

“You’re right, Maman,” Marinette murmured, feeling ever so grateful for her mother’s soft touch. Though she was essentially telling Marinette the same thing Tikki had, Marinette felt much more optimistic that things could turn out fine after her mother’s reassurance.

Once Sabine left, she got up, ate the soup and bread, took a shower, and brushed her teeth, before sitting down to work on the paper. She did feel better now that she was clean and doing things.

Tikki meekly helped her find useful passages in her history book, saying nothing more about that morning’s topic.

“You know, if you’re feeling better, you could still make it to school after lunch,” Tikki suggested.

“Maybe.” Marinette was about a third through the paper, but if she really focused, she could finish in time for afternoon classes. She felt guilty and lazy for staying home while Adrien had probably gone to school as normal. She wondered how he was doing. Usually he was able to text surreptitiously during class, but he still hadn’t responded to any of her messages from last night.

Following that train of thought, Marinette whipped out her phone. After nuzzling the black cat plush charm against her cheek, she checked her messages. Still no update from Adrien. She opened Adrien’s thread and re-read her outgoing messages forlornly. 

**Marinette:** hey adrien  
**Marinette:** i understand what you’re trying to do and i appreciate that you’re trying to do right by me but honestly i think you’re being too hard on yourself   
**Marinette: **you don’t have to be perfect you know?  
**Marinette:** plus……  
**Marinette:** … i can’t do this via text, we need to talk  
**Marinette:** adrien?  
**Marinette:** are you there?  
**Marinette:** can i call you?  
**Marinette:** can we talk during lunch tomorrow?  
**Marinette:** i’m really sorry…  
**Marinette:** this is all my fault

Those were from the previous night, then a few from that morning:

**Marinette:** good morning adrien  
**Marinette:** sorry for all the messages i just really need to talk to you  
**Marinette:** …… hello?  
**Marinette:** okay i get it if you need space but please give me a chance to explain something before you shut me out  
**Marinette: **i’m sorry i didn’t come to school today i was really out of it last night and i didn’t finish my paper and needed to buy some time but we can still talk during lunch or after school  
**Marinette:** … i know that was super irresponsible of me  
**Marinette: **it’s just  
**Marinette:** i was really upset about yesterday actually  
**Marinette:** we need to talk  
**Marinette:** please

She had wanted to tell him she was Ladybug, screw the rules. It didn’t even matter if he was Chat Noir or not, she hated hurting Adrien this way. And then the argument with Tikki happened. Marinette sighed as frustration and anxiety started to bubble up again, and she closed the messaging thread.

There was one unread message from Alya asking where she was. Marinette typed a response.

**Marinette:** sorry  
**Marinette:** had a rough morning  
**Marinette:** is adrien there?

**Alya: **Girl, no. I figured you two were off gallivanting.

Marinette snorted at Alya’s word choice.

**Marinette:** yeah right  
**Marinette:** i’m “sick”  
**Marinette: **wait so he’s not in class??

Now that she stopped to think about it, Marinette vaguely recalled that Adrien had mentioned an upcoming photoshoot a few days ago. Was that scheduled for today? She had been so caught up in the preparations for the fashion show, then the breakup, that she had completely forgotten.

**Alya: **No. You seriously don’t know where he is?  
**Alya:** “Sick,” huh? What’s really going on, girl?

**Marinette:** i just  
**Marinette:** couldn’t today  
**Marinette:** i didn’t finish my paper last night

**Alya: **You didn’t answer my question... 

**Marinette: **okok   
**Marinette: **don’t freak out but  
**Marinette:** we broke up

Marinette’s fingers suddenly went cold with dread as she hit the ‘send’ button too hastily. She was so used to telling Alya everything about Adrien, it just slipped out, and she immediately realized how stupid she had been. The info was out. And to none other than Alya, who was not exactly reputed for her excellent secret-keeping skills. Of course, Marinette trusted her as a friend, but she had valid reasons to worry about the gossip getting out. That would be an utter disaster, especially since there were so many unanswered questions and unsolved issues surrounding their relationship still.

**Alya:** rjfjepa487.jduj!!!!

Marinette’s thumbs were a blur as she knocked out follow-up texts.

**Marinette:** pls don’t talk about it though the media’s not supposed to know  
**Marinette:** i’m serious it would be a disaster if anyone found out please don’t say anything to anyone  
**Marinette: **not even nino  
**Marinette:** !!!! PLEASE

**Alya:** I’m gonna kill this kid!!!

**Marinette:** don’t kill him  
**Marinette:** pls promise me you won’t do anything  
**Marinette:** it’s not as bad as it sounds  
**Marinette: **i just really need to deal with this MYSELF pls alya  
**Marinette:** anyway it’s not entirely his fault

**Alya:** “Not entirely”? Partly his fault is still grounds to kill him.

**Marinette:** nono it’s really not his fault at all don’t kill him… just find out where he is  
**Marinette:** please  
**Marinette:** ask nino

**Alya:** Grrrr... don’t let him off the hook so easily.  
**Alya:** I am NOT HAPPY with the way he’s been yanking you around lately.  
**Alya:** But okay. Sit tight, girl.

**Marinette:** thx

There was no use trying to explain the situation to Alya right now, especially when Marinette felt like she was only beginning to grasp what was going on herself. She drummed her fingers on the back of her phone, too impatient to do anything else while waiting for the reply.

**Alya: **Photoshoot.

Ah, yeah. So that _was _today. Marinette sighed, half in relief and half in disappointment. Relief, because he probably wasn’t responding to her messages only because he didn’t have his phone on him. Disappointment, because the photoshoot he had mentioned was for a new major perfume line and was supposed to take all day, meaning she wouldn’t see him even if she did make it back to school after lunch.

**Marinette:** thx... where?

**Alya:** He doesn’t know. Why, are you planning on crashing his shoot? Don’t do that, girl.  
**Alya:** Seriously. If you need to talk to him, wait until after.

**Marinette: **don’t worry about it

In class, Alya peered at the phone in her lap and rolled her eyes at Marinette’s cryptic answer. That meant she was probably going to go. Classic Marinette. She shook her head in exasperated concern before glaring at the empty seat beside Nino.

**Alya: **Hey, you okay btw?  
**Alya:** You never told me why you broke up...

Marinette thought about it for a moment. _Was _she okay?

She wasn’t devastated over the breakup, since Adrien had told her he loved her, and she believed him. She _was _frustrated and depressed about the situation that seemed to offer no way out, but her mother’s encouragement that patience would bring about a solution had pulled her into a more optimistic headspace.

She answered truthfully:

**Marinette:** i will be okay… eventually. don’t worry about me

**Alya:** You sure? Want to talk? Should I come over during lunch?

**Marinette: **srsly i’m fine… i just need to sort things out with adrien  
**Marinette: **see you tomorrow, ok? we’ll talk then  
**Marinette: **again PLEASE don't say anything  
**Marinette:** PROMISE

**Alya:** ... I won't. I promise.

Marinette breathed a sigh of relief. Alya could be a meddler, but she kept her word.

“Marinette,” Tikki interrupted the text conversation. “You won’t finish in time if you keep getting distracted by your phone.”

“I know.” She set aside her phone and scrolled through the first two pages of her draft, trying to reset her brain to focus on the link between first-through-third-century Roman society and developments in architecture and engineering. “Tikki, where was that page about the Roman Baths?”

Tikki flipped to the page helpfully.

“Thanks.”

Two sentences in, Marinette’s mind was already on a tangent. Adrien had mentioned that the new fragrance line was called “Little Prince,” and the look was inspired by Pre-Raphaelite art. There would be lots of flowers, pastel fabrics, lace, and pretty little details. A shoot like that would have to take place in a park—there was no way they would set it up in a studio, especially with the weather as nice as it was right now.

“Parc Monceau, maybe?” Marinette wondered aloud. The columns would be a perfect touch for the shoot.

Tikki perked up suspiciously. “Marinette, you’re not thinking about the Roman Baths, are you?”

Marinette pushed the butt of her stylus into her cheek. “I have all day to finish this paper… the introduction and first paragraph are done, and I know what I’m gonna write for the other points, so the rest should be a piece of cake. Can we take a quick break, please?” she appealed. “I’ll focus better once we get back.”

Tikki regarded her charge disapprovingly. The validity of the last statement probably depended on the outcome of the rendezvous Marinette was clearly planning. Still, she knew Marinette’s one-track mind wouldn’t let her rest until she got the impulse out of her system. “I suppose I can’t stop you. But you are _not _going as Ladybug,” she warned.

“I wasn’t planning to!” Marinette’s face brightened, and she shot up, abandoning her paper in search for a comfortable-yet-cute outfit. She was going to go and fix this mess.

—

Intuition tended to serve Marinette well. She relied on it heavily as Ladybug, and it managed to pull her through times of uncertainty even in her civilian life.

Like now, for example. The Parc Monceau had been a wild guess on her part—a guess that made sense—but a guess that required her to commit to a half-hour bike ride without any promise of finding the boy she sought. She could have taken the métro, but she wanted her bike with her in case she got the location of the shoot wrong and had to do some looking around.

Intuition had not failed her this time, though, and searching wasn’t necessary. Lo and behold, as Marinette slowed her pedaling to rest at a bench near the columns, she spotted the familiar camera and makeup crew first, then the shining figure of Adrien in white and pastel blue fabrics, edges delicately embroidered, looking like a cherub prince out of a fantasy novel. He was posing against one of the columns, which was embellished with a vine of climbing roses. Behind stood an additional lattice arch woven with additional blossoms and sprigs of flowers—more roses, ranunculus, hydrangeas, and peonies in various shades of white, pink, and pastel blue. The lake was visible through the arch, and Marinette could only imagine the whole scene would make a pretty bokeh wash.

Adrien himself looked like an otherworldly figure, like a faerie gracing the human world with his presence, his face shining with ethereal light. Marinette felt comparatively plain and unsightly in her mid-thigh length pink overall dress and striped black-and-white cotton shirt. The biker shorts she wore underneath felt stuffy from the exercise, and she wiped a thin film of sweat from her forehead and nose.

She pictured her leather-clad partner reclining against the column, and just like everything else, it clicked. She sometimes forgot, with the passive and even somewhat shy way that Adrien acted in school and in groups, but when his 'model' switch was flipped on, the boy knew how to put on a show. She could plainly see Chat Noir's dramatic flair in Adrien.

Adrien, of course, spotted her within moments—so much for being subtle. At least it was better than being awkward and wondering how she could get his attention. She fingered one of the French braided pigtails she had twisted her hair into and held up the other hand in a brief wave of greeting. He immediately abandoned his pose and came running toward her.

Alarmed, Marinette shook her head and held up both hands in a sign that he didn’t need to come in the middle of the shoot, but he quickly reached her and pulled her into a hug, breathing her name. Her face crushed into the exquisite fabric of an embroidered baby-blue long jacket elegantly tailored to the exact angle of Adrien’s shoulders, making him look like a mix between [Kim Minji’s Little Prince](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/63/db/d2/63dbd277336de608a5b6ef84473bd939.jpg) and something out of a [Waterhouse painting](http://linesandcolors.com/images/2006-04/waterhouse_450.jpg).

Marinette squeaked. “A-Adrien, I biked here—I’m dirty, I shouldn’t be touching your clothes!”

“It’s fine.” He stepped back to look at her, hands on her shoulders, and gave her a lopsided smile. “Cute outfit. Did you make it?”

Marinette once again felt self-conscious, her cheeks flaring up. “Yes, but… What are you talking about when you’re _unfairly _pretty right now?”

“I’m really sorry I didn’t respond to your messages… or even read them,” Adrien blurted, skipping responding to her remark, as if he had been burning to get the apology off his chest and couldn’t waste time getting to the point. “I felt really crummy yesterday and didn’t look at my phone at all, and I’ve been at the shoot since early this morning. Now I feel bad… I should have at least read your messages. I’m _really _sorry if you said anything important!”

“Don’t worry! It’s okay,” Marinette reassured. She tried to give him an easy smile to allay his worries, but the way he was looking at her with such earnest concern, combined with how charming he looked and the reminder that they had technically broken up and he wasn’t hers, filled her with a dejected sense of longing that sapped her energy. “I just said that we should talk, because…”

Because she wanted to tell him she was Ladybug and he was torturing himself for no reason. Wow, was _that _ever a promise and an intention that she couldn’t follow through on. It made her want to scream.

Her mother’s words came back to her. Just reassure him that he has nothing to worry about. That he doesn’t need to beat himself up.

She gave him a shaky smile. “... because I think we might have overreacted a bit. Don’t you think so? Maybe we just need to talk things out.”

Adrien twisted his lips, uncertain. “Maybe. I don’t know.” He looked so lost. “I meant what I said, but I… I just don’t want to hurt you. You know I still love you, Marinette.”

Those words again. He said it so easily, as if it were an obvious truth. Marinette flushed, feeling dizzy all of a sudden. His words and his behavior were as if they were still dating. She found herself floundering in a no-man’s-land where she wasn’t sure what her relationship with Adrien was supposed to be like. What was the meaning of “dating someone”? What was a breakup between two people in love? Did Adrien just mean they shouldn’t go on dates? She felt so confused, she couldn’t bring herself to tell him that she loved him back.

“Marinetta!” Vincent's jovial exclamation cut the mood, and both teens turned to see him approaching with a wide smile and a gleam in his eye. “Perfect timing. We are about to move to the bridge and it would be _absolutely perfect _if you could join Adriano for the shoot. Ah, the chemistry would be simply—” He kissed his fingertips. “Magnifico!”

Marinette blanched. Of course, everyone still thought they were together. “I’m not dressed, and—my hair—my makeup—”

“Not to worry!” Vincent cried, steering her toward a nearby tent. “Everything will be taken care of.”

Marinette glanced over her shoulder at Adrien, who shrugged helplessly, giving her a thumbs up and a doting smile.

—

Marinette didn’t feel like herself, decked out in flowing, gauzy fabrics, flowers woven into her braids and her makeup giving her the slightly inhuman, exaggeratedly neutral look of a [ball-jointed doll](https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/98094098116109735/). She felt like [Ophelia](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/fc/Windswept_by_John_William_Waterhouse.jpg/206px-Windswept_by_John_William_Waterhouse.jpg) straight off a Shakespearean stage.

Vincent adjusted Adrien’s arm to drape languidly across Marinette’s shoulders, and she felt his cheek and the warmth of his breath against the side of her head, sending a flutter into her chest.

“Do you hate me?” he whispered as Vincent moved back to shooting range.

Marinette shook her head lightly. “Of course not.”

Vincent took a few shots, then gave the next direction. “Touch his hand.”

Marinette wove her fingers in between Adrien’s, causing Vincent to nod vigorously in approval. “Yes, yes! Now, look into the distance, like you can smell your mamma’s spaghetti in the other room, and you just want to eat it!”

He wanted a yearning look. That was easy. Marinette tuned herself to the warmth of Adrien’s body against hers, the potent energy in his slender fingers. It was his right hand, and her attention zeroed in on the ring he wore. She had noticed it before, of course, but she figured it was one of those signet rings rich families often wore. Kagami had one, too.

She remembered that Tikki mentioned Chat Noir always had his miraculous on him. Of course he did. She and Chat Noir were no different… they were in this together, like two halves of a whole. Faintly, Marinette slid one finger against the curve of his ring. Was it his miraculous? She imagined his hand covered in black leather and charged with the power of destruction.

His fingers twitched and gave hers a gentle squeeze.

_ It’s you, _ she thought wistfully. _Isn’t it?_

It had to be him. She had seen Chat Noir’s sweet and soft side… she knew how sincere and devoted he could be. She had seen Adrien’s curious, playful side and even been reminded of Chat. She thought it was because her partner was the other boy would naturally be on her mind, but now, everything seemed to click. Now that she had seen it, she couldn’t un-see it anymore.

“And now,” Vincent practically cackled with gleeful, maniacal inspiration. “A kiss. All the fans want to see you kiss.”

“Are you sure?” Adrien asked dubiously. “For a perfume ad?”

“A little bit of fanservice never hurt anyone, Adriano. You haven’t seen the forums. The forums! The people are crying out: We want mamma’s spaghetti! We must serve the people what they are asking for, Adriano!”

Marinette looked up at him. He was gazing at her tenderly, the sunlight catching in his hair, looking like a right angel. The tenderness of that gaze… no wonder there was something nostalgic and familiar about it. Even though she hadn’t returned Chat Noir’s affections, it made her feel special when he gave her that look.

“If it’s okay with you, Princess,” he murmured, yieldingly.

She nodded. _Princess. _The name reverberated in her heart.

“I’m sorry to put you through this,” Adrien added.

“Don’t be.”

“You know you _really _don’t have to do this.”

“I know… but I want to.”

He leaned forward, eyes glittering with contrite melancholy. “I love you. I’m so sorry… I’m the absolute worst.”

“Stop punishing yourself. We need to talk, okay?” she whispered before touching her lips to the corner of his mouth. She felt a shaky breath escape him.

“We will,” he whispered back.

“Don’t-a be shy, children,” Vincent commanded. “On the lips!”

Marinette and Adrien’s eyes met hesitantly.

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Marinette hedged, not wanting to push the boundaries. It had been Adrien’s choice to break up, and she still hadn’t fully grasped where exactly they drew the line.

“You know I want nothing more than to whisk you away from here and kiss you for real,” Adrien avowed, then blushed, realizing he was out of line. “Sorry… I shouldn’t have said that.”

“There are many things you shouldn’t have said,” Marinette affirmed, without fire. She shifted her lips a centimeter to the left, meeting Adrien’s eagerly waiting ones. _Silly kitty, _she thought sadly. _… If it’s you. My poor Minou. Torturing yourself all this time for falling in love with me twice._

Even if he were just Adrien, and not Chat... all it proved was that he didn’t only love the mask. He really loved her.

Both closed their eyes and gave in to the sweet, timidly indulgent kiss. It was just a pose, but it was enough to lift them both into another dreamlike dimension. It was torturous bliss… a taste of heaven. But it wasn’t real. Not yet.

Marinette thought back to when she had to kiss Chat Noir during the fight with Dislocoeur. Did it feel the same? Hard to tell… the circumstances were completely different. Maybe.

Could she be wrong? Maybe, but she didn’t think so. Her intuition was screaming, _It’s him._

Yet, she understood how terrifying it must have been for Adrien to _suspect_ she was Ladybug and not to be sure. How he must have felt like he was throwing his heart into a void, unsure whether it was going to be caught or not.

If Marinette had suspected first that Chat Noir was Adrien, would the same thing have happened to her? Would she have fallen for him? Would she be as confused and conflicted as Adrien was now? … Probably. She couldn’t be angry with him. She understood.

Letting their lips part, Marinette caught Adrien’s eyes again. His eyes, so green, like gleaming gems pooling with light, were locked on hers. The mask changed his eyes, but she recognized him.

Yet, the mere _thought_ of saying something, of even calling him “Minou” to his unmasked face, made her stomach bottom out. Tikki’s warnings echoed in her mind. A single word dropped from her lips could initiate a domino effect that she had no way of anticipating. Suddenly, her present love seemed so small, and fear gripped her heart. How could she choose her own little love in the face of the universe’s safety? How could one word of hers have such an effect on the entire universe? How did one unthink a thought? How could the damage be reversed? Marinette realized that she would have _no_ control over what happened once she chose to reveal her identity—where that information would spread, how anyone would react. Could she promise this information would stay between her and Adrien? Did she even know what she was dealing with—ancient magic and multi-dimensional forces? No.

Frankly, Tikki's warnings from that morning terrified her. The amount of responsibility and power that a simple decision gave her was suddenly extremely overwhelming. She had been so ready to tell Adrien, whether he was Chat or not. Now, she was realizing she might have to give up the possibility of ever removing these barriers of secrets and half-truths from between her and Adrien. Even if they stayed together and got married the way she had dreamed, would she have to lie to him for the rest of her life? Could she handle that?

All of a sudden, the mere inches of distance between her and Adrien seemed to grow and grow, and she stopped sensing his hand on her arm. She felt like she was looking through a mask, even though she was just Marinette.

She felt her face grow cold as the blood drained from it, and her hands began to tremble.

Adrien touched her cheek. “Are you okay? Marinette?”

The sound of the camera clicking sounded like it was coming from miles away.

“Marinette…”

Adrien’s voice faded out, as Marinette’s vision slid to black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! So, what did you think of this chapter? Is there anything that bothered you or seemed out-of-character? Anything you thought was good? Anything you thought should be expanded on or addressed that wasn't? Anything that didn't make sense?
> 
> Like I mentioned in introductory notes, your feedback is very valuable for this chapter especially, since posting it here first allows me to make changes before I make the audio recording.
> 
> I hope it answered some questions about Marinette's motivation and made her seem less victimized by Adrien's seemingly erratic and indecisive behavior. The fact is, she does understand his dilemma and while it may hurt, there isn't an easy solution.
> 
> Which isn't to say that they are actually at an impasse. (Sometimes it takes a lot of courage, or a special situation, to get out of a box formed by what you think are hard and fast rules.) Right now, Marinette is finding it difficult (immoral) to choose her own happiness over the greater good.
> 
> I mean, this is supposed to be a FLUFF PIECE! Hahaha. Apparently I'm not good at that. I know some people are enjoying the angst (thank you for that) but, there _will_ actually be fluff in the future chapters. This series is drawing to a close, and chapter marks the beginning of the end.
> 
> EDIT: I made some changes to the chapter, most notably Marinette's reflections about Adrien being Chat, and the way it ended. Does it seem too extreme? In this chapter, Marinette is in a bit of a highly sensitive frame of mind, with recent developments and revelations, and all the implications haven't fully hit her of what it means that Adrien could be Chat Noir. She's feeling very overwhelmed.
> 
> Notes:
> 
> _-Ying Hua_ means "cherry blossom" in Mandarin.
> 
> -I know Adrien refers to the photographer as Giuseppe at the end of Ladybug. However, the whole fandom knows him as Vincent. Why? I don't remember now if he was ever called by the name "Vincent" before. Anyway, I've chosen to call him Vincent so that the fandom will know whom I'm referring to, even if his canon name might be Giuseppe. -_-;
> 
> -I know the linked [ball-jointed doll](https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/98094098116109735/) is male but that's the look I was going for. I really want to draw this photoshoot if I ever have the time. ^_^


	25. Protect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Important Note: I changed a few things in the last chapter, most notably the ending, so anyone who read it very shortly after I posted might be confused unless you go back and read the new ending.
> 
> There's one thing I want to bring up before you read this chapter. At the end of the last chapter, Marinette had a panic attack and fainted. Some might be questioning whether this is physically possible. Yes, it’s possible. I rarely write about topics or events that are totally foreign to me, because I don’t want to be inaccurate in my portrayal, but I have actually passed out from overthinking something and getting freaked out. More about this in the endnotes, but I wanted to put that out there before you read this chapter.

Marinette gradually became aware of a hand shaking her shoulder, and the dull weight of her back pressed against an uncomfortably hard surface. Slitting her eyes, she caught sight of leaves swaying in the breeze. She was lying on her back. Realizing with embarrassment that she must have passed out during the shoot, she scrambled to sit up.

“Hey, take it easy.” Adrien put his hand on her arm, face twisted with concern. He had been standing beside the bench, leaning over her. As she pulled herself up, he guided her with hands on her shoulders and sat beside her, curling an arm across her back to make sure she was stable.

“S-sorry.” Marinette looked around in panic. 

Vincent, standing nearby, gave her a relieved smile.

A few park-goers passed by, gawking.

“C’mon, let’s go to the tent,” Adrien urged, attempting to shield her from their view. “Can you stand?”

Marinette nodded, getting to her feet. She felt a bit lightheaded, but otherwise completely fine.

Even though it wasn’t necessary, Adrien supported her with one arm curled protectively around her waist, walking in step. They reached the tent—Adrien lifted the flap and gestured for her to go in.

Melida, the makeup artist, looked up from something she was watching on her phone.

“Melida, do you mind giving us a moment?” Adrien requested.

“Of course not, Adrien—take your time.” Melida gathered a few of her belongings. On her way out of the tent, she squeezed Marinette’s arm and asked, “You okay, honey? You look a little pale.”

Marinette nodded and gave her best attempt at a reassuring smile.

“I’m sure Adrien will take good care of you. Right, Prince Charming?” Melida rubbed Marinette’s arm, smirked at a sheepish Adrien over her shoulder, and disappeared through the tent flap.

Adrien guided Marinette to the makeup chair and sat her down, then fetched a spare from the corner and a bottle of water. Unfolding the spare, he sat down across from Marinette and handed her the water bottle. “Are you okay? What happened? Are you sick?”

Marinette licked her lips. “I, um… didn’t bring water on my bike ride. The sun must have gotten to me.” She cracked open the water bottle and took a small sip.

That might have been part of it, but it wasn’t the full truth. In fact, she had felt so overwhelmed by the enormity of the decision facing her, and the thought of having to wear a metaphorical mask for the rest of her life, that her brain couldn’t handle it and just shut off. She wasn’t ready to explain to Adrien the reason she had freaked out, though, so the white lie would have to suffice for now.

Seeking comfort and closeless that she couldn’t obtain through words, she reached out for his hand.

He met her readily, cradling her hand in his own and drawing it into his lap. She noticed tiny tremors running through his hands and looked up in alarm.

“You scared me,” he confessed with a bemused smile. “… Drink more.”

“I’m okay now, really. Sorry about that.”

They were knee-to-knee. Marinette took another, longer pull from the water bottle. She remembered she had come here with a purpose and realized this was probably the perfect chance.

“Adrien?”

“Yeah?” His eyes were soft and attentive.

Now that the idea that Adrien was Chat Noir had grown in her mind, Marinette saw her partner in every little movement. His posture, the micro-expressions in his eyes and mouth, the rapt attention he paid her. She had been watching him closely on both sides of the mask since the fashion show the previous day, and she was _ convinced _it was true. Not that she had been looking, but… she had found him.

The idea was comforting. Chat Noir had always been important to her. He was her courage, her protector—and even though she had rejected him countless times, she was willing to admit to herself that if she hadn’t fallen for Adrien first, she might easily have fallen for Chat. She _ did _love him as a person, but she hadn’t allowed herself to think of him that way, because she didn’t want to lead him on when she knew she couldn’t give her heart to him.

Now, though, slipping into this new frame of mind—of seeing her partner as the boy she loved, and loving him wholly—was easy. A little different and unsettling, but… easy.

Tikki’s warning had deeply shaken her, though. She wasn’t ready to think about Ladybug and Chat Noir and forces of good and evil and the safety of the universe. Now, she just wanted to retreat into the comfort being Marinette and Adrien. Two normal teenagers.

She took a deep breath.

“I came because… I wanted to tell you that you don’t have to keep flogging yourself over loving Ladybug,” Marinette explained.

Maybe she was allowed this much, at least.

“It’s okay to love Ladybug,” she went on. “We’ll talk about it more later, okay? I promise you that there’s nothing to feel guilty about, for loving Ladybug.”

Adrien’s eyes widened.

Marinette squeezed his hand, as if that would anchor her somehow. She felt lightheaded again, like the tent was spinning around her. She had basically told him she was Ladybug. Right? He would understand that, right? But it was just vague enough to leave a safe margin of doubt, and protect herself with the thought that she hadn’t actually revealed herself yet.

This would buy some time, at least, to weigh her options. At least, maybe Adrien wouldn’t feel so terrible anymore. If he trusted her.

“You trust me, right?” Marinette checked.

“Of course,” Adrien confirmed emphatically.

Marinette turned over his hand and traced the edge of his ring. He watched her, engrossed in the action. “I trust you, too.”

“Marinette…”

Marinette’s heart was thudding in her throat. “I’m a little freaked out right now,” she admitted. “I’m really scared. I think I need some time before… um…” She wasn’t ready to finish the sentence. “Yeah,” she finished awkwardly. “I just need time. You understand, right?”

Either he knew what she was talking about, or he must be utterly confused. In case of that hair of possibility that it wasn’t him. She felt crazy and reckless for speaking these words.

Despite all her reasoning, her heart had already decided, anyway. She slipped in her little rebellions like wedges into a crevice. This way, there wouldn’t be a defining moment when she dared to turn her back on duty.

She was surely out of her mind.

Adrien picked up her hand and kissed it fervently. “Of course, Princess,” he breathed. He didn’t seem confused at all. “Take your time… I’ll be here for you.”

“You always are,” she whispered. It had to be him. Marinette’s heart flooded with warmth, and a giddy smile stretched across her lips. “I love you, you know that? I _ really _ love you.”

Adrien’s face brightened in an expression that looked like relief, and Marinette realized she hadn’t said it back the few times that Adrien had told her he loved her in the park. “I love you, too, Princess.”

“We’ll be okay,” Marinette assured.

“I believe you.” Adrien reached out to stroke back a tendril of Marinette’s hair that was too short to tuck into her braid. His fingers brushed Marinette’s right ear. Her earring.

“You know,” Marinette ventured, toeing the edge of a canyon of words she couldn’t say. “Doesn’t it feel comfortable to be just us? Just the two of us. Why don’t we just forget about Ladybug for now?”

Adrien nodded, transfixed.

“And Chat Noir,” Marinette added in a low voice.

“And Chat Noir?” Adrien repeated, his eyebrows shooting up. “What does he have to do with anything?” Even though he asked the question, his tone said that he was just testing the waters… that he actually knew exactly why she was bringing him up.

“Let’s just forget about them for now.” She said it with a smile, light and dismissive. “Can we do that?”

“I think we can,” Adrien whispered.

“Because, remember, we haven’t told anyone we broke up,” Marinette pointed out, then added hastily, “Ah!—except Alya. I accidentally told her. It was stupid—I’m just so used to giving her updates about the—um, about… how things were going with _ you,” _ she giggled nervously, feeling like a babbling idiot. The euphoria from the words she had spoken, the fact that they both now (probably) knew exactly whom they were talking to, combined with her mind already being a little addled from her recent fainting spell, was making everything seem amusing.

“You told her?” Adrien’s eyes were laughing too, caught up in her mood even though the topic wasn’t particularly funny, and his mouth curved into an easy smile. “Oh, man. She probably hates me now.”

“She does,” Marinette giggled, then covered her mouth. “Sorry, it’s not funny. And I’m sure she doesn’t actually hate you. She just cares about us, that’s all. You know how Alya is.”

“It’s okay. I don’t blame her,” Adrien shrugged. “I have been acting like a jerk to you for… over a month.” He groaned and his gaze fell, looking more serious. “Sorry.”

“Adrien.” Marinette tugged his hand, and his gaze lifted. “I understand. I really do. So don’t feel bad anymore or worry about what Alya thinks. She’ll forgive you, but it isn’t what _ she _ thinks that’s important, right?”

“Right,” Adrien murmured, stroking the back of Marinette’s hand. “... Thanks for understanding me. That’s more than I could ask for.”

Silence descended on them. It was a comfortable silence, like a sanctuary.

“Are you feeling better?” Adrien asked after a little while. “Are you sure you’re not sick?”

“I’m fine.” Marinette stood up, pulling Adrien to his feet, then did a little spin, making the diaphanous layers of her dress flare out. “See? Totally fine.”

Adrien caught her around the waist. “You are _ so _beautiful.”

“It’s just the clothes.” Marinette blushed.

“They don’t do you justice, Princess. _ You _ are beautiful.” Adrien stroked a thumb across her cheek and gazed down at her. The way the translucent walls of the tent glowed lit up his face and the tips of his hair. Once again, he looked like a fairytale prince.

“I feel like we’re in a movie,” Marinette laughed, breaking the surreal mood that had settled between them. “We should probably get back to the shoot before it gets too late. Well, _ you _ should, anyway. Pretty sure I’m done for today.”

“Wait, Marinette.” Adrien’s other hand came up to cup Marinette’s other cheek, fingers tangling in the loose strands of her hair.

Her breath caught. “Yes?”

“Everything is okay between us, right?” He touched her earring again, ever so subtly.

If she weren’t Ladybug, she wouldn’t have even noticed. But she was used to his nonverbal communication by now. This was their language.

“Yes,” she whispered, cheeks warming under his hands, watching the way his eyes traveled over her face as if he were drinking in the sight of her.

“Then… breaking up was an idiotic idea on my part?”

“Not _idiotic_... just an overreaction?” Marinette reached up to grasp his wrist.

Adrien pulled her into his arms, pressing a hard kiss against the top of her head. “Can we pretend that never happened, then? I never wanted to break up with you. I was just… desperate. I didn’t know what to do.”

“I know.” Marinette buried into his arms, turning her face to the side so she wouldn’t get makeup on his clothes. She rubbed her palms up and down his back. “I understand you.”

“I’m… going to trust you when you say I have nothing to feel guilty about.” His hushed voice was full of implications that Marinette comprehended, an open question she was prepared to answer. “My heart is in your hands… Princess.”

Marinette nodded against his chest. “Be patient…” _ Minou. _Her lips formed the nickname, but she didn’t give it any voice. “For now, it’s okay to just love each other, right? You and me. Adrien and Marinette.”

Once again, the words coming out of her mouth must sound so strange—but Adrien gave no indication of that.

He brushed the loose hair off her cheek with the back of his hand, and she felt the ring’s cold metal drag across her skin. “Of course… my love.”

Marinette eased her way out of his arms, his eyes following her movements with a look of intense longing.

“Come on, Beau Gosse, let’s get you back in front of a camera.”

She took his hand and led him out of the tent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, thank you so much for your generous feedback on the last chapter. I know it isn't usual for authors to go back and change things after posting, but I'm approaching AO3 as more of a workshop. My final product is the audio fic I post on YouTube, so I'm taking your feedback and using it to polish my work into something more presentable.
> 
> About fainting from panic attacks: I did some research about this, and many sources say it's highly unlikely to actually faint during a panic attack, since usually blood pressure rises during a panic attack, and it is low blood pressure that causes fainting. However, I knew that it was possible because it's happened to me. I found out that the exception happens when someone has what is called [vasovagal syncope](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/vasovagal-syncope/symptoms-causes/syc-20350527), which causes a sudden drop in blood pressure when under extreme emotional distress or seeing blood. (This is why some people faint when they see or think about blood... this has happened to me also.) I'm not a doctor nor have I studied medicine, but I drew on my personal experiences when writing Marinette's reaction, so... no matter how unbelievable it may seem to some, it is actually possible.
> 
> Let me know what you think about this chapter. Adrien and Marinette have a subtextual conversation. Did it work? Do you understand why Marinette is taking this approach instead of being straightforward? Also, some people might feel that Marinette isn't doubting enough whether she's right about Adrien being Chat. Though she _has_ been known to shoot down the idea that Adrien is Chat, that has only happened when other people have brought the theory to her. Now, though, she has come up with the idea herself based on clues that she's seen. I think Marinette has an overactive mind and is really good at piecing things together, which is why she's such a great Ladybug. In my opinion, once she gets an idea in her head, she is utterly convinced of it and can't stop seeing evidence to support her belief. Remember that Adrien was sort of pushing the boundaries of how Chat-like he could act, and how many clues he could drop without outright telling her his identity, earlier in this fic. So, I think she has plenty of grounds to have concluded to herself that her hunch is right.
> 
> Adrien and Marinette's dating status may seem very wishy-washy. But, y'know, that's how life is sometimes. They're confused and figuring things out. (Alya's going to be really confused and ticked off, haha.)
> 
> I was going to have Alya get involved, but this chapter felt like it needed to end where it did, so she'll be in the next.
> 
> Aaaanyway. Let me know your thoughts!


	26. Civilian Heroes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Words that needed to be said, and words that still have yet to be said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys. Thanks, as always, for your very helpful and thorough comments! I really appreciate it.
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter.

Adrien was on edge.

He hadn’t seen Marinette since the Little Prince photoshoot, and with his weekend jam-packed, their text conversations hadn’t gone much further than “good morning,” “love you,” “good luck,” “how was it?,” “miss you,” and the like.

Now, the flurry of activity—an intensive training session with Kagami on Saturday, homework and preparing for a piano showcase recital, then the showcase and a round of fittings on Sunday—had died down, and his heart was catching up. Well-rested and spending more time than usual styling his hair for school, his stomach was doing somersaults at the thought of seeing her soon.

“What’s going on, kid? Since when have you gotten so nervous over Bakery Girl?”

“Since she found out I’m Chat Noir!” Adrien used a hand mirror to check out the back of his head. He poked at a stray lock of hair that looked out of place. “I still don’t know how she figured me out.”

“As if you were trying so hard to hide it,” Plagg snarked. “What makes you so sure she knows?”

“You were there, Plagg. Why else would she bring up Chat Noir? She knows, but she’s not ready to talk about it yet, and that’s fine with me.”

He stated it matter-of-factly. Yet, Plagg’s skepticism made him do a quick sweep for cracks in his assumption. A thought struck him that he hadn’t considered before.

“Wait… could she have meant… that she still has feelings for him?” He had completely forgotten that Marinette had actually confessed to Chat Noir at one point in time.

“I don’t know, kid, but that’s exactly what I’m trying to tell you. Maybe you got her clues all wrong.”

Adrien chewed his lip, watching Plagg in the mirror. “But… she even touched my ring! It didn’t seem like an accident. I don’t think I misunderstood... she knows.” He sounded less confident this time.

It was like a Magic Eye picture. The more Adrien narrowed in on the details, the less sure he was that he had understood Marinette, as alternative interpretations flooded his mind. Yet, he had walked out of that tent absolutely certain that she was Ladybug and knew he was Chat Noir.

The memory of Marinette’s confession toward Chat admittedly threw him a little. Ladybug made it no secret how disinterested she was in Chat Noir. It didn’t make sense for her to confess her love to him. Not even Marinette acted like she had feelings for his masked identity. She had called him ‘dumb,’ and they had casually talked about his feelings for Ladybug without Marinette showing any signs of jealousy.

“Why _ did _ she say she was in love with me? Chat Noir me, I mean… I’m sure she didn’t know who I was back then,” he mused aloud. If she had loved him like she had said, she either hid it well or had gotten over it quickly. Maybe the confession was a joke, like that fawning fangirl act she had put on when he dropped by her house during Evillustrator.

“You’ll get all the answers when you decide to man up and talk to her about it for real,” Plagg drawled.

“I’m not afraid to talk to her,” Adrien corrected, clicking off the light as he left the bathroom. “I just don’t want to be pushy. We’ll talk when she’s ready. I trust her… we don’t have to rush anything.”

Despite his words, the doubt that had snuck in was uncomfortable, like an elbow bruise that kept getting knocked. It was a frustrating feeling.

One thing was certain in Adrien’s mind, though—she _ had _to be Ladybug. Her hints were obvious. This time, when she had told him it was okay to love Ladybug, it was different from when she had said the same thing to Chat Noir.

This time, she had meant to set him at ease about what was tormenting him, what had made him break up with her. And he had told her the real reason he felt so conflicted was because he kept seeing Marinette as Ladybug. Because he kept conflating his love for Marinette with his love for Ladybug, and vice versa.

How on earth would that be okay with her if she weren’t Ladybug? Besides, she had said, _ We’ll talk about it more later. _ Adrien squirmed with excitement. What would there be to talk about if she weren’t Ladybug?

“Okay, so the Chat Noir thing is still up in the air, but I’m _ sure _ she’s Ladybug,” Adrien muttered. “Don’t infect me with your skepticism, Plagg. I want to be sure about _ something.” _

Oddly quiet, Plagg floated after Adrien as he threw his books into his messenger bag.

“Kid… I’m not as much of a stickler for the rules as Tikki is, but there _ are _ some drawbacks to knowing each other’s identities.”

Adrien froze. “Hold on—if we know, does that mean we would have to give up our miraculouses?”

Plagg swatted the air with a paw. “No, no. Tikki likes to scare her bugs into thinking so, but there’s no such rule.”

“Tikki—Ladybug’s kwami?”

“Yup.”

Adrien paused in front of his bedroom door, running a hand through his hair anxiously, making that morning’s meticulous styling efforts in vain as it reverted to its usual artfully tousled look. If Marinette thought she had to give up her miraculous upon revealing herself—“Was _ that _ why she got so freaked out during the shoot? Do you think she was about to _ tell me?” _

“You know what I’m gonna say, kid.”

“I know, I know. I need to ask her.” Adrien rolled his eyes. “I’m just thinking aloud. I _ hate _ being in the dark! But, for _ her…” _ He exhaled a lovelorn sigh. “It’s worth the wait.”

Plagg made a face of disgust and zipped into Adrien’s bag.

—

Due to his nerves, Adrien arrived at school about twenty minutes early. Students were hanging out in the courtyard in little groups, catching up with friends. Adrien looked around for Nino or any of his classmates, hoping to distract himself with some chatter. He knew better than to expect Marinette so early, but he kept an eye out for her anyway. 

…No Nino. Only Alya, whose eyes locked onto him from across the courtyard like a fox spotting its prey. She promptly stood from the bench she’d been lounging on and made a beeline for Adrien.

“Just the person I wanted to see,” she declared, grabbing him by the arm and dragging him toward their classroom.

“Great morning to you, too, Alya,” he piped with false optimism while his stomach sank.

“Sit,” Alya commanded once they had arrived, sliding into her bench and gesturing at Marinette’s usual spot beside her.

Adrien sat, inwardly withering under Alya’s sharp glare.

“I don’t like you very much right now, Sunshine,” Alya stated bluntly.

Adrien’s pasted-on smile dropped. “I know,” he muttered.

Alya crossed her arms. “I was already upset that you suddenly dumped Marinette after I thought you were _ finally _getting your act together toward her. And now what’s this I hear about you two being back together again? Do I need to start a blog just to keep up with your dating status? Frankly, I’m sick of how you can’t seem to make up your mind about how you feel toward her. She’s got to be dealing with emotional whiplash from the way you’ve been treating her.”

Adrien looked mortified and ashamed. Yet, he had to correct Alya’s misconception. “Look, I’m not proud of my actions toward Marinette either, but it’s not like that, Alya. It’s not like I can’t decide how I feel about her.”

“Then what is it like, Buttercup?”

“Buttercup?” The nickname made Adrien feel even more petty and emasculated.

Alya did not humor him with the backstory. “Don’t get distracted. I’m waiting for your explanation, and it’d better be good.”

Adrien sighed. “I _ know _ that I really love Marinette. I’ve never felt more comfortable around anyone… she’s the sweetest, most considerate person I know, and on top of that, she’s brilliant and awesome. I can’t stop thinking about her and wanting to be closer to her… the way I feel about her has never changed. But… you know how I felt…” Adrien re-evaluated his word choice, trying to be honest with himself. _ “Feel… _ about a certain someone else…”

Alya rolled her eyes, sick of beating around the bush. “Ladybug.”

“Yes…” Adrien looked around and whispered, “Can you not mention her so casually out in public?”

“Nothing to be ashamed of, Sunshine,” Alya shrugged, unamused. “There’s no one here but you and me. Keep going.”

Adrien looked down at his hands, brow furrowed as he debated internally. How much was okay to tell Alya? He wanted to be honest, or as close as he could get to it… otherwise, what was the point of this conversation? “Well,” he began tentatively, “let me tell you about a stupid idea I had.”

“Go ahead.”

“I thought Marinette might be Ladybug,” Adrien whispered. “I’d been thinking that for a while, which is why it wasn’t easy to get rid of my feelings for Ladybug. Because there was always that chance that I was right, and it was only one girl I’ve been in love with the whole time. I mean, how do you emotionally move on from someone you keep subconsciously thinking is your actual girlfriend? …If that makes any sense to you.”

Alya’s expression, which had been at first a mix of surprise and indignation, had slid into something thoughtful as he spoke. “You thought Marinette was Ladybug? I can’t say the theory never occurred to me… of course, she denied it, but…”

“Wait, wait, hear me out!” Adrien waved his hands frantically, as if doing so could physically derail Alya’s train of thought. “I told you it was just a stupid idea! Wishful thinking. I mean, she’s definitely smart and gorgeous enough to be Ladybug, but—I mean, we both know she’s clumsy, and—we’ve definitely seen her at the same time as Ladybug before, and—”

_ Crap. _ Adrien inspected Alya’s face with horror, trying to intuit whether she had dropped the idea or not. The cogs in her brain seemed to be turning, and the little smirk on her lips didn’t bode well. “Alya!”

“Now that I think about it…” Alya stroked her chin. _ “Have _ we seen her at the same time as Ladybug?”

“I have!” Adrien all but screamed. “Anyway, that’s not the point! Let me explain. So, I never actually told Marinette about what I suspected, but it was eating me up, and I felt horribly guilty for mixing them up in my mind, so I told Marinette we should break up until I got the wires in my brain uncrossed. It’s not like I was confused about how I felt toward her or anything like that. I just felt like I was going to end up ruining something or hurting her and it was better to just take myself out of the equation.”

“Okaaay,” Alya indicated that she was displeased, but following. She narrowed her eyes. “So, what changed?”

“We talked on Friday, when she came to my photoshoot. It helped that some time had passed and we weren’t feeling as raw and emotional. She told me that, obviously, she’s not Ladybug, and… that made it so much easier for me to let go of her. It was nice to get confirmation so I didn’t have to keep agonizing over it… I should have just told her from the beginning and avoided all the trouble. We had a heart-to-heart and decided it had been a mistake to break up.”

Because it should have been that easy, right? If Marinette wasn’t Ladybug. If she wasn’t, why tiptoe around the topic?

The half-fibbed explanation made Adrien cringe internally, but lying was an unfortunate necessity when he had a double life and there were secret identities—_identities! _ Adrien thought excitedly. _ Plural!_—to protect. At least his explanation struck at the truth, to explain his own behavior to Alya. Lying about that would put their friendship on a shaky foundation, and he didn’t want to risk that.

“So, you expect me to believe you just dropped your feelings for Ladybug like a hot potato?” Alya tapped her fingers on the desk.

“The _ only _ reason I couldn’t let her go was thinking she might be Marinette. I got over _ Ladybug _a while ago.”

… That was mostly true.

“And you’re not disappointed?” Alya prodded.

“No! Why would I be?”

Alya gave Adrien a sidelong glance. “I _ want _to believe you, but I don’t know if I trust you.”

That stung, but it was fair. “Okay,” Adrien forced out appeasingly. “You don’t have to. But… your friendship matters to me, so I’d appreciate if you could give me the benefit of the doubt for now.”

“All right, Sunshine.” Alya peered over her glasses at him, disapproving but softer than before. “You’ve got a good heart, and I _ do _ want you two to be happy. So I'm giving you a free pass for now.”

Adrien breathed freely, feeling like he was in the clear.

However, Alya’s truth-seeking inclinations didn’t let her drop the previous topic as easily. “If she _ is _Ladybug, though, do you really think she’d just tell you?”

“I trust Marinette,” Adrien pressed. “She wouldn’t look me in the eye and tell me ‘I’m not Ladybug’ if she were.”

It didn’t feel great to lie to Alya about what Marinette had said, but at the same time, Adrien believed it was true… she wouldn’t lie about that, not when the answer held so much weight for Adrien. She was too sweet to play with his heart that way.

All the more reason to believe that he was right, that he had read between the lines correctly, that she _ was. _

“What are you smiling about?” Alya raised an eyebrow.

“Just thinking about Marinette.”

Finally, Alya smiled—a small, bemused smile. She sat back in her seat, confrontational attitude dissipating. “You really do love her, don’t you?”

“Of course I do!”

“When did you realize it?”

Adrien thought. “Sometime last month? Right before my birthday?”

“And you’ve really never changed your mind about her?”

Adrien shook his head. “I’ve never doubted how I felt about her. The problem has always been totally me. I don’t deserve her.”

Alya pursed her lips, as if something he had said bothered her. “Sunshine… I get it, but I’m still a bit mad at you.”

“I know. I don’t blame you,” Adrien sighed. He presented his cheek and pointed at it. “Go ahead, hit me.”

Alya snorted. “Are you kidding me? You need that.” She socked him lightly in the shoulder. “There, justice served. Seriously now, Buttercup, there’s something I want you to understand.”

“What is it?”

Alya leaned forward, her expression serious. “A relationship isn’t just something you can switch on when things are going well, and switch off when they’re not. A relationship is a commitment to care about someone and deal with things together.”

Adrien nodded, a little annoyed that Alya was explaining something that should have been obvious. “You don’t have to tell me that, Alya.”

Alya rolled her eyes. “Answer me this, Adrien. For whose sake did you break up with her on Thursday?”

Adrien hesitated. “… Marinette’s?”

“Let me rephrase. Who did you think would feel better after breaking up?”

Adrien suddenly felt exposed as realization hit him, and he groaned. “… Me.” It was he who didn’t want to feel guilty and conflicted anymore. He had gone through with it even though he knew Marinette would be hurt. “Oh my gosh. I really am selfish.”

“Exactly,” Alya deadpanned.

It was harsh, and it hurt, but Adrien accepted it, wilting into himself. “I’m the worst.”

“Adrien, I’m not pointing this out just to make you feel bad. My point is, you need to fix your mindset. If you love her, and she loves you back, just be thankful for what you have and go with it.”

“I know, but it really wasn’t that simpl—”

“Adrien,” Alya interrupted, “do you think relationships are meant to be simple?”

Adrien closed his mouth. What did he know about relationships?

Alya continued, “Nino and I might seem happy all the time, but we have our fights. It's hard to always agree and see eye-to-eye. Nino used to like Marinette, right? It's not like those feelings disappeared overnight… but he picked _me._ You don’t have to be perfect, okay? Let me put it this way. Were you planning on breaking up with her every time you made a mistake, and getting back together once you felt like you had fixed it?”

“No, that would be… a little ridiculous…” Except, Adrien realized, that was exactly what he had been doing.

“Yeah, it’s called being self-righteous.”

“Self-righteous?”

“Yes, Adrien. Self-righteous. You don’t get to decide on Marinette’s behalf whether you deserve her or not. If there’s something you feel guilty about, grit your teeth and make it up to her… deal with the issue and work on fixing it together. You don’t get to just decide you’re not worthy and that she’s not allowed to have you. I mean, that’s not cool. How could that not hurt her? Do you get it now?” Her tone got a little heated toward the end.

“Yes,” Adrien murmured, “I get it. It matters that we’ve chosen one another, and it's okay to make mistakes or have conflicting thoughts. We’re allowed to work on ourselves and still be in a relationship.”

“Exactly,” Alya breathed, relieved that Adrien was following. “And if you really love her, you’d better value what you have with her… because if you break up with her for real, you can’t just expect she’ll take you back whenever you’re ready. Why don’t you cherish her more?”

“I _ do _ cherish her,” Adrien insisted, hackles rising. He felt like his feelings for Marinette were being attacked.

“Then hold on to her,” Alya went on. “Breaking up means you don’t love her anymore and have no intentions of dating her. Saying you want to break up then telling her you still love her—that’s just being insincere. Like keeping her on the back shelf ‘just in case.’ Don’t put her in mixed signals hell. Marinette deserves better than that.”

Adrien winced. “Okay, I get it. I’m sorry… I didn’t mean it like that at all. I’m just really bad with this stuff. I’ll try not to be such an idiot anymore.”

Alya reached out and ruffled his hair, a little roughly. “It’s okay, Buttercup. I’m here to help. And I _ do _understand that you were trying not to hurt Marinette… I can appreciate that, and I’m sure she does, too. But, sometimes you can fix things without pushing the eject button. Next time, come talk to me before you make any rash decisions, okay? I’m your friend, too. I love both of you dearly.”

“Okay.” Adrien swept his hair back into place with his fingers. “Thanks, Alya-neechan. Thanks for not hating me.”

Alya snorted at Adrien’s usage of the Japanese word for ‘big sister.’ “We’re good, weeb.”

He grinned at her. Uncomfortable as this had been, he was thankful he and Alya had gotten to talk and that they were back on friendly terms.

It was almost time for class to start, and the room was filling up with students. When Adrien stood to get to his seat, Nino swooped in and gave him an enthusiastic bro-hug. “Hey, dude! You guys done?”

“You were waiting?”

“Looked like an A-B conversation.” Nino plopped into his seat, twisting around to give Alya an exaggeratedly suave look. “Hey, babe.”

Alya smirked over her linked hands at him. “Thanks for being considerate, babe. We had a good chat, right, Adrien?”

Adrien nodded, stomach knotting as he anticipated Marinette’s arrival.

She came in just before Miss Bustier, and Adrien’s nervousness turned to concern when he saw her face. She wasn’t smiling, eyes downturned and underlined with dark shadows of exhaustion.

As she rounded Adrien’s desk, she gave him a shy, sad smile.

He tugged her hand. “What’s wrong?”

Marinette shrugged halfheartedly. “Nothing.”

Adrien gave her a look.

“We can talk during lunch.” Marinette glanced over her shoulder at Miss Bustier, who was just waiting for her to get to her seat to start class. “If you can?”

“Of course… I look _ fur_ward to it.” Adrien winked, hoping a joke would cheer her up. His heart pounded at daring to make a cat pun in front of Marinette. Though he had said plenty of puns to her before, now she _ knew, _ and it was different.

Marinette’s face cracked into a real smile. While it helped Adrien relax somewhat, he was still worried about her, and anxious about where they stood now.

He pulled his phone onto his lap surreptitiously to text his bodyguard about not going home for lunch. Now, he just had to make himself focus for a few more hours until then.

—

“Hey, Marinette?”

“Hm?” Marinette licked a glob of orange masala sauce from the corner of her mouth, modestly hiding behind her piece of naan. She had brightened up considerably since the morning, and by the time they arrived at the hole-in-the-wall Indian restaurant a couple blocks from the school, she seemed to be back to her usual cheerful self despite the shadows under her eyes that hinted at a sleepless night.

“I hope I’m not overstepping any bounds, but there’s a question I really want to ask you.”

“You can ask me anything. What is it?”

“… Can I try your chicken tikka masala?”

Marinette laughed. “Of course, silly.”

Adrien dipped his naan into her bowl, scooping up a piece of chicken with it. “That wasn’t the question.” He hesitated, biting into the naan to buy some time.

Marinette put down hers and rested her chin on her palms, gazing at him across the table. “I’m all ears.”

Adrien hummed, realizing he wasn’t sure how to breach this topic. Adrien wasn’t supposed to know about Marinette’s confession toward Chat. Then again, Marinette already knew—he guessed. Maybe this could be a way to lightly test that assumption.

“Did you ever have a crush on Chat Noir?”

Whether she did or not—if his assumptions were wrong—Adrien would have expected her to be surprised by the question at least. Maybe get a little flustered. At most, she’d have some sort of extreme reaction that involved flipping a utensil and getting food on herself.

Instead, she smiled… a slow smile that started with the tips of her mouth tugging outward and her eyes curving like crescent moons, and ended in adorable pink cheeks puffed out by the broadness of her grin, and pearly teeth that she hid behind her hands as soon as the smile broke across her face.

Adrien fidgeted. The suspense was unbearable.

“I once confessed to him,” Marinette answered after what felt like minutes to Adrien’s nerves, but was probably only a couple of seconds.

“R-really?”

“But he rejected me, and my dad got akumatized.” Her eyes sparkled with what looked like mischief. Not a hint of discomfort.

“Wow.” Adrien feigned a look of surprise—since why would Adrien have known about Tom’s akumatisation? “I guess he was pretty mad at Chat Noir.” He was starkly aware that Marinette hadn’t answered the question.

“Yeah, but honestly, I was hoping he’d turn me down.”

“Oh?” Adrien leaned closer. “Why?”

“Confessing to him was a total accident.” Marinette ripped off a piece of naan, dipped it into her masala sauce, and popped it into her mouth.

This piqued Adrien’s curiosity. This was new information, and definitely not what he expected her to say. “How do you _ accidentally _confess to someone? And a superhero no less?”

“Well… I sort of panicked, and said the first thing that popped into my mind.”

“Being in love with Chat Noir was the _ first thing _that popped into your mind?” Adrien’s eyes widened before his expression eased into a smirk. “Sure that wasn’t a Freudian slip?”

This time, Marinette did blush. “I-I mean, I had to say _ something _ shocking enough that he’d forget what he was about to say!”

Adrien narrowed his eyes. What _ had _ he been about to say? He thought back to that day. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise to see Marinette on her own balcony, of course, especially since the akuma had literally thrown a giant ring _ into _ her bedroom. Who wouldn’t wake up? Still, the fight had been over and he had assumed she’d hung around to catch Ladybug and Chat Noir in action… that she was a _ fan _ of theirs, like Alya.

What was wrong with that?

She must have thought he was about to say something else… oh. Ohhh. A lightbulb turned on in Adrien’s head. Of course Ladybug would panic about being caught at the scene of an akuma fight in her civilian form. Adrien chuckled into his fist, giddy to be in the know.

“What?” Marinette pouted indignantly at his laughter.

“Nothing.” Adrien collected himself, the smile lingering. “I can’t believe you confessed to _ the illustrious Chat Noir _ by accident, that’s all.”

“Illustrious?” Marinette scoffed lightly.

Adrien’s expression darkened when another thought came to mind. What if the realization that he was Chat Noir completely turned her off him? Uh oh.

“Wait, so… you didn’t actually like him after all?” Adrien questioned, his smile becoming strained.

Of course. Ladybug found him annoying. Maybe Marinette was realizing she didn’t like Adrien as much as she thought.

“Nope.” Marinette made a face.

“Not even a little bit?” Adrien pressed, starting to get worried. “I mean, there have got to be other things you could have said besides a love confession!”

Marinette groaned and buried her face in her hands. “You’re never going to let me live that down, are you?”

“Face it, you liiiike him,” Adrien singsonged, hiding his insecurity behind the taunt.

Marinette peeped through her fingers. “Well…” She lowered her hands and rested her arms against the table, leaning forward, her eyes oh-so-blue, flickering with a teasing gleam. “Maybe I’m not as indifferent to him as I first thought.”

_ Oh. _ It was Adrien’s turn to flush pink. Maybe he didn’t have to worry, after all. Maybe she was just playing with him… because it was becoming increasingly clear that this was a game.

She knew, and she knew he knew, but they weren’t going to acknowledge it.

“He rejected me, though, so there goes that opportunity.” Marinette shrugged and fished for a piece of chicken with her spoon.

“So…” Adrien was more serious this time, a bit nervous to let it show how much Marinette’s answers meant to him. “If Chat Noir asked you out, and you and I weren’t dating, you’d say yes?”

“Hmm…” Marinette swallowed her mouthful. “Maybe. I wouldn’t be opposed to a date.” She winked. “Why does that matter, though? He’s a superhero and totally out of my league.”

That wink. She was flirting. She was _ so _Ladybug.

“More like you’re out of _ his _league. You don’t need a mask and superpowers to be awesome.” Adrien crossed his arms and leaned back. “I just wanted to know if I need to keep that stray away from you, that’s all.”

Marinette giggled. “You have nothing to worry about, Beau Gosse. Ladybug can have him… I’m all yours.”

“Pretty sure Ladybug doesn’t like him that way,” Adrien pointed out.

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe he should check again.”

Adrien felt warm, and his heart was pounding. This was really happening. Marinette was Ladybug, and she knew he was Chat Noir, and they were flirting.

Suddenly, his phone started buzzing like crazy. He pulled it out of his pocket. “Akuma alert,” he reported.

Marinette’s mouth opened in surprise, and she took out her own phone. “It’s down the street.”

“Should be safe to stay here, right?”

“Yeah…” Marinette grinned her cheesy grin, eyes darting aside to the window to check if they could see the action. “I’m sure Ladybug and Chat Noir will turn up soon.”

“Right.” Adrien put his phone in his pocket, then took it out again, then made to stand up—only to sit down again.

Adrien had no reason to leave. If he left now—or if Marinette left—it would be obvious.

Steeling himself, he stood up. “Um, I have to go to the bathroom.”

“Me too!” Marinette squeaked, jumping to her feet. “Uhh… stay safe! See you in a bit!”

As Adrien ran toward the restrooms to escape the building through the back door, he couldn’t contain his grin as he saw Marinette running straight out of the restaurant, not even making a show of pretending to go to the bathroom.

A feeling of unfinished dissatisfaction tugged at Adrien. He still hadn’t asked Marinette why she was upset that morning. If they made this fight quick, there should still be enough time to continue their lunch date before classes started up again.

—

“Bien joué!” 

Their usual fist bump. Nothing out of the ordinary.

The battle felt drawn out, only because Chat Noir was eager to get back to the restaurant to continue his conversation with Marinette, but a quick glance at his baton’s timepiece told him it had only lasted a little more than ten minutes.

Ladybug was smirking for no reason. He took hold of her wrist, light enough that a twist and flick could easily get her out—but she didn’t, so he pulled her closer.

“Hey, Bugaboo—before you go, I have something to tell you.”

“What’s that, Minou?” She stood her ground, blinking at him through smug, half-lidded eyes.

Marinette’s words drifted back: _ Maybe he should check again. _

As much as he wanted to, he felt that the situation called for something more sincere than this game of flirtations—something more symbolic.

“I have a girlfriend,” he told Ladybug, the words rolling off his tongue freely.

“Is that so, Chaton?” Ladybug didn’t look surprised. The edge of her mask lifted, as if she had cocked an eyebrow, and she studied him languidly. “What kind of girl could have caught my kitty’s attention?”

“She’s beautiful and sweet. Brilliant and creative… she’d make a fine Ladybug herself, I’m sure.”

“I hope so.” Ladybug winked. “I’d hate to lose my Minou’s affections to just anyone.”

Ladybug’s flirting made Chat’s heart flutter. She wouldn’t normally act like this. One simple revelation, and everything was shifting. “You know I’ll always have a special place in my heart for only you, Bug,” he sang with an impish wink.

“Sorry, but you’ll have to share your place in mine,” she quipped back, putting her hands on her hips. “I’ll have you know that _ I _ have a boyfriend, and my whole heart belongs to him.”

“Oh? You’d let me share with your boy,Bugaboo?” Chat leered. “Well, that’s a meowvelous surprise. I didn’t think you’d let this kitty in at all.”

Ladybug giggled. “I let you in a long time ago, Chat Noir,” she answered earnestly, dropping the playful tone. She reached out to ruffle his hair and scratch behind his false ears.

Chat Noir closed his eyes blissfully, a purr rumbling out from his chest.

If she wanted to take her time, he didn’t mind.

—

Marinette was already seated at the table when Adrien returned to the restaurant. In stark contrast to her former cheer, and Ladybug’s playful coyness, she looked downcast, staring out toward the windows with a vacant look. She seemed lost in thought, and didn’t even notice Adrien approaching until he pulled out his chair and collapsed into it. She smiled weakly.

“Hey, Marinette,” he greeted softly, touching her hand that was resting on the table. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” She didn’t elaborate, speaking in a small voice. “Did you find a safe place to hide?”

“Of course.” The restaurant hadn't been under attack, but logic didn't matter. They both knew it was a charade. “You?”

“Yeah.”

Adrien wove his fingers between hers and looked at her until she met his eyes. “Hey, you said we’d talk. Is it the same thing that was bothering you this morning?”

Marinette nodded. She tried to smile, but the corners of her lips trembled and she looked down.

“You can talk to me.”

“It’s nothing, just… a fight with a friend.”

“Alya?”

“No… someone else. Someone very close to me. She doesn’t go to our school.”

Adrien knew Marinette well enough to know she didn’t have any ‘very close’ friends who didn’t go to their school. She had been going to school with the same classmates ever since école, and she never talked about anyone else.

“She doesn’t agree with what I’m doing,” Marinette explained, drawing spirals on the back of Adrien’s hand. She stopped with her thumb resting beside his ring.

Adrien recalled what Plagg had said, about Ladybug’s kwami being a stickler for the rules. “… Oh.”

Marinette met his eyes, and he nodded silently, letting her know that he understood. He got up and rounded the table to slide into the chair beside her, pushing it over until it bumped into hers, then wrapped his arms around her tightly and pressed a kiss to her temple. “Don’t worry, Princess. We don’t have to rush. Everything will turn out okay… We’re in this together.”

She nuzzled into the crook between his jaw and his shoulder. “Love you,” she murmured, sending a tingle of warmth into Adrien’s chest.

“Love you more.” He rested his cheek on her head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hello. So, how was this chapter?
> 
> What do you think about Alya's advice? Keep in mind that she is not an objective voice of reason; she also has her own perspective and bias as well. However, I did hope that the conversation would feel cathartic and give Adrien some realizations.
> 
> Let me know your thoughts... what you thought worked, didn't work, was too much, wasn't enough, etc. Thank you guys for reading! Until next time.


	27. Marinette and the Agrestes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette receives an unexpected call, and has an even more unexpected dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Wow, I'm so sorry for neglecting this fic for so long. I'm mostly 'back' from my break and planning to knock out these last few chapters in a relatively short span of time. I definitely must finish this before April.
> 
> We're approaching the end. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Tuesday evening, Marinette had just begun drawing a pattern for a new project on tracing paper when her phone lit up with an unknown number.

Hesitantly, she lifted the phone and stared at it for a few seconds, considering whether to answer or not. She had all her classmates’ numbers saved, and the few calls she received from unknown numbers were usually spam. It was a Paris area code, though—she couldn’t fathom what, but it _ could _ be something important. Decisively, she swiped the screen to answer.

“Hello?”

The voice that greeted her from the other end of the line sent her heart into a frenzy, and she almost dropped the phone.

“Miss Dupain-Cheng?”

“M-Mister Agreste!” Marinette stuttered, pasting on a smile to brighten the tone of her voice and starting to pace frantically across the floor. “How are you?”

“I am well, thank you,” Gabriel responded stiffly. “And yourself?”

“U-um, I’m good!” —Ungrammatical. Marinette cringed. “I’m doing well, thank you!” she corrected in a high pitch. Attempting to compose herself, she silently took a deep breath and held it, waiting for Gabriel to explain his motive for calling.

There was an excruciating pause in which Marinette could feel Gabriel lowering her respect score in his mind, before he spoke again. “I would like to invite you for dinner. Would tomorrow night do?”

“Yes,” Marinette answered quickly, her mind catching up to verify that she had nothing scheduled. “Thank you for the invitation. Will this be at your home?”

“Yes,” Gabriel confirmed. “Seven p.m., sharp.”

“I will be there.” Marinette nodded, even though he couldn’t see her.

The line went silent, and she lifted the phone from her ear, peering at the screen to double check that Gabriel had hung up before turning it off and heaving a sigh, feeling like her spirit had drained out of her body.

“Oh, my God, Gabriel Agreste just invited me to dinner,” she whined, vaguely directed at Tikki. She had grown used to voicing any thought that floated through her mind to the kwami.

The silence that answered was like a thorn in her gut, stabbing an already-sensitive area.

Tikki had been reticent since the day of the photoshoot, when she decided to walk out on thin ice and all-but-reveal herself to Adrien.

It wasn’t an overt silent treatment, but their dynamic had chilled down to sub-freezing levels, and Marinette intuited that Tikki was not voicing her true thoughts. She could feel an aura of disapproval emanating from the small creature, leaving Marinette deflated and emotionally fatigued.

“Tikki?” Marinette called out, the frustration that had been mounting for the past few days reaching a critical point. This could not go on. She wanted to fix this, now.

“Yes, Marinette?” Tikki appeared over the corner of her computer screen. She was smiling, as usual, but Marinette couldn’t shake the feeling of coldness that hung over their every interaction.

“I know you’re mad at me, but what’s done is done,” Marinette stated, bluntly acknowledging the elephant in the room. “He knows. Can we just move forward?”

Tikki frowned. “It’s not too late to change his mind, Marinette. Isn’t that why you went about it the way you did? There’s still enough room for doubt. You could say or do something to clear his mind of the idea that you’re Ladybug.” Her words came out biting, as if she already knew it was a futile argument but was determined to give Marinette a piece of her mind.

“I…” Marinette pursed her lips, then blurted out the truth that she had been shying away from confronting. “I never intended to change his mind.”

“I know,” Tikki snapped. “You did it that way to deceive yourself into thinking what you were doing was okay.”

Marinette recoiled—the accusatory tone stung. “Why is it so bad for him to know I’m Ladybug? Haven’t Ladybugs and Black Cats known each other’s identities in the past? There’s no guarantee that anything terrible will happen just because we know.”

“You two knowing one another’s identities creates a highly combustible situation, Marinette,” Tikki lectured, tone rising. “You’re becoming too entangled. Any little thing could cause a domino reaction to destroy _ both _ of you and all the people you hold dear. Ignorance served as a buffer between you, to keep your civilian lives away from your superhero lives, and to keep you from affecting one another _ too much.” _

“Tikki…” Marinette sighed. “It’s too late. Even if he forgot, I wouldn’t. We’re already too far into this, Tikki.”

Tikki’s eyes were hard, but she didn’t say anything. They both knew Marinette was right. It was too late. The situation had changed, and would continue to change, with as much certainty as a tidal wave crashing down.

“I really need us to be a team again, Tikki,” Marinette begged. “If the situation is as ‘combustible’ as you say, isn’t it even worse for us to be fighting?”

The corners of Tikki’s eyes drooped as they lost their fire. She came near and stroked Marinette’s bangs, showing more warmth than she had in days. “We’re not fighting, Marinette. I’m still on your side. I just wish you had thought this out a little better.”

“I _ did _think it out,” Marinette muttered.

“All right,” Tikki soothed appeasingly, giving her bangs another stroke. “This isn’t a disaster. We’ll get through it. If we’re careful, you and Chat Noir could even come out stronger.”

“Thank you, Tikki,” Marinette whispered. This was the optimistic Tikki she had missed. Feeling tears well up in her eyes, she cuddled the kwami to her cheek.

—

Marinette arrived at the Agreste mansion at six forty-five, just in case.

She fiddled with her side bag as she waited for Nathalie to respond to the intercom call. Tikki nudged her through the fabric in a silent sign of moral support, and she couldn’t feel more thankful that the cold spell had ended between them.

The camera emerged from its portal, leery red eye fixing onto Marinette. “Come in,” Nathalie’s disembodied voice commanded, and the gate clicked open.

The walk up to the front of the mansion seemed very long. It occurred to Marinette that she had never actually been to the Agreste mansion since she and Adrien had started dating. Although it wasn’t her first time here, it was the first time she would be directly evaluated as Adrien’s girlfriend, and that made her quake.

She set her jaw and attempted to bolster her own self-confidence. She was Ladybug. She was the inimitable Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Gabriel was the type of person on whom humility and insecurity would make an impression of weakness and lack of qualification.

The door opened as soon as she came up to it, and Nathalie gestured for her to go in, leading her across the marble floors to the dining room.

Now that she was here as a guest and not on a mission, Marinette could take the time to observe her surroundings. Everything felt so… palatial. The size of one room was as big as the entire Dupain-Cheng apartment. Sounds echoed differently, suggesting the phantom of a dignified and luxurious lifestyle that seemed foreign to her. Over it all, the painting of Gabriel and Adrien, wearing somber expressions, loomed ominously.

She understood why Adrien felt so uncomfortable in his house.

Upon entering the dining room, Marinette was surprised to find only Gabriel. He was already seated at the head of the table and, without standing, nodded at Marinette when she entered.

“Good evening, Miss Dupain-Cheng,” he greeted coldly, waving at a seat that Nathalie had pulled out for her.

“Good evening, Mister Agreste,” Marinette responded in kind, her voice as even and warm as she could muster. She slid into the chair. “Thank you for inviting me to dinner.”

She looked around.

“Adrien won’t be joining us,” Gabriel explained, taking note of her body language. “He’s training with Kagami tonight.”

“Oh? I see.” Marinette had texted him earlier, ‘See you tonight,’ assuming he was aware of the plan—but now that she thought about it, he hadn’t responded. It wasn’t his usual night for fencing, so she hadn’t expected him to be busy. She tried not to look confused as to why Gabriel would invite her to dinner alone.

He smiled privately, as if he were reading her thoughts and found them amusing. “I wanted to have a chat with you, Miss Dupain-Cheng.”

“Ah—of course,” Marinette laughed, trying to exude a light-hearted attitude. “About something in particular, or—?”

“I was impressed by the pieces you presented at the fashion show,” Gabriel declared.

The wait staff began to bring out dishes—salmon topped with a creamy mushroom sauce, asparagus, a small soup, and bruschetta, all in small portions.

“Thank you,” Marinette forced out. It felt weird to be praised by her fashion idol. She didn’t believe that he honestly found her pieces _ impressive _ by his standards, but accepting the comment graciously seemed better than trying to deny his praise.

“In fact, you first caught my eye with the derby hat you designed,” Gabriel went on. “The fashion show wasn’t announced as a contest, but I _ did _have a prize in mind for the top designer.”

“Ah?” Marinette watched him with rapt attention, a faint smile on her lips, trying to look interested but not expectant.

Gabriel leaned forward. “I would like to offer you a summer internship with Gabriel. Of course, you’re still very young, so it would be mostly shadowing the designers and seamstresses, to give you an idea about how the fashion design process works in the real world. But you would have a chance to design one piece to be featured in the winter line, under senior guidance of course.”

“Wow,” Marinette’s mouth formed an ‘o.’ It was a dream opportunity, and at one point of time, she would have accepted without question. Now, though, she immediately thought of her relationship with Adrien and how people like Anastasie would claim that she had only received the opportunity because of it. She bit the inside of her cheek. “… Thank you, sir.”

“So, you will accept?” Gabriel prompted.

“That is… um…” Marinette interlaced her fingers at the edge of the table, feeling awkward. “I would love the opportunity, sir. But I wouldn’t want to cause any rumors, in light of… my relationship with Adrien.” The last few words escaped with difficulty. It was her first acknowledgement of the fact that she was dating Adrien in front of his father. “People are already talking about us, and someone was akumatized at the fashion show because of it. I wouldn’t want people to question Gabriel’s integrity.”

Gabriel raised an eyebrow. “Do I take this to mean you’re declining?”

Marinette bit her lip. “Yes,” she forced out. She didn’t want to decline. She wanted the opportunity, but she could immediately sense that there was too much that could potentially go wrong. “I’m sorry—I’m very grateful for the offer, nonetheless.”

Gabriel sat back, watching her appraisingly. “I appreciate your foresight and consideration for Gabriel. In that case, could I give you an alternative offer?”

“What is that, sir?” Marinette asked nervously.

“Come to the mansion every Thursday for dinner. I will review your projects and give you feedback, and you can ask me any questions you may have about the industry.”

Marinette’s mouth fell open, and her eyes brightened. “Yes! That would be fantastic,” she gushed. “… On one condition.”

Gabriel’s lip curled, amused at her pluck to propose a condition. “Oh? What’s that? … I’ll have you know that it is not commonplace for me to make such an offer to a plebeian child such as yourself.”

“I understand,” Marinette answered meekly. “Please, allow Adrien to join us for dinner.”

“… All right. I accept your condition. You could consider it a… family dinner.” He smiled wanly. “Audrey was correct—you _ are _exceptionally talented, and I am willing to invest in your artistic education, especially since you are dating my son and will be under public scrutiny as long as you continue to do so. We will begin next week.”

It was a little sad that Gabriel was only willing to agree when there was a business perk attached, but this was going much better than expected. Marinette returned with a smile of her own. “Thank you, sir!”

“Well, now that that’s settled,” Gabriel waved at the dish set before Marinette. “Enjoy your meal.”

—

The dinner finished over polite, meaningless conversation. Gabriel ate quickly, seeming unwilling to be held back longer than he needed to be, now that the main matter was out of the way. Once his dish was empty, he promptly stood to leave, just as a young man from the kitchen brought in a third plate.

“Adrien should be returning at any moment,” Gabriel informed Marinette. “I assume you’ll want to see him, but since tomorrow is a school day, I hope you’ll understand why I insist you don’t stay long.”

“Of course!” Marinette nodded agreeably.

“You can wait here, or bring the plate up to his room.”

Marinette was mildly surprised that Adrien was allowed to eat in his room. Gabriel seemed like the strict type who would only allow him to eat at the dining table.

Gabriel raised his eyebrows. “Why do you look surprised? You’ll find that I am very lenient with my son, as long as he keeps fulfilling my expectations.”

It was vaguely unsettling how easily he seemed to be able to read Marinette’s thoughts. Then again, she didn’t hide her emotions well.

“Adrien is so kind and well behaved,” Marinette praised. “You’ve raised him very well, sir.”

Gabriel smiled superciliously. “Thank you.” With that, he turned and disappeared through the door.

Marinette thought Adrien would prefer to eat in his room, rather than the cold dining hall, so she took the plate and looked around with uncertainty. Though she knew very well how to get to Adrien’s room, from multiple visits—as Ladybug, for the play, and from the time she had snuck in under disguise—she had only been there once with Nathalie’s consent, and knew better than to make it obvious how well she knew her way around.

Nathalie appeared out of seemingly nowhere. “This way, Miss.” She ushered Marinette toward the main staircase and up toward the east wing, where Adrien’s room was located.

—

Not ten minutes later, the door clicked open, and Adrien collapsed directly onto his bed without even taking his duffel bag off his shoulder.

Marinette looked up from Adrien’s copy of Haruki Murakami’s _Kafka on the Shore,_ which she had been reading lightly to pass the time, and stood from the couch.

Adrien yelped, leaping up in surprise.

“Sorry!” Marinette cried, breaking out into laughter. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I thought Nathalie would’ve told you I was here.”

“Oh, my God,” he groaned, clutching his chest and collapsing into giggles himself. “No, she didn’t say anything.” Regaining his composure, he crossed the room to pull his girlfriend into a hug. “Not that I’m in any way opposed to your presence, but what brings you here?”

“Your father invited me for dinner,” Marinette admitted.

Adrien stiffened. “He… he never told me about that.”

“He didn’t?” Marinette kept her arms around Adrien comfortingly, despite the fact that she could feel him wanting to pull away as he retreated emotionally. “I thought you’d be there, too. I texted you earlier, but… I assumed you already knew what was going on, otherwise I would have told you more explicitly. Sorry.”

After a pause, Adrien relaxed a bit and responded. “… It’s okay, Princess. I understand.”

His hard tone said that even though he didn’t blame Marinette, he was still ticked with his father for arranging the dinner without his knowledge.

“The kitchen prepared a plate for you… I brought it up. Your father wants to kick me out soon, but maybe we could watch an episode of Fruits Basket together while you eat?” She grinned, lifting her eyebrows in a gently pleading expression.

“Sure,” Adrien gave her a half-smile.

“Yay! Plus, I have some good news. Go grab your plate.” Marinette settled on the couch and waited for Adrien to join her.

When he sat down, she twined her arm around his and kissed his cheek. “Your father wants us to have dinner together every Thursday.”

Adrien’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. “… What? Are you kidding me? As in, he’s going to be there?”

“Of course. I’m utterly, one-hundred-percent serious,” she vowed, grinning. “Of course, there’ll be some chat about fashion, but… you, me, and your father, sitting down together, eating dinner every Thursday as a _ family. _ His words, not mine.”

Adrien let out an incredulous laugh, setting his plate down on the coffee table before tackling Marinette in a hug. “You’re amazing, you know that? Do you know how long I’ve been trying to convince that man to have dinner with me?”

“I didn’t do anything,” Marinette mumbled.

Adrien chased her words with a swift kiss to her lips. “Stop being humble. You’re amazing, and that’s final.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there, thanks for reading. What did you think? What parts did you like or dislike? Let me know your thoughts. ^^
> 
> Shouldn't be too long before the next update. See you soon.


	28. Adrien Dupain-Cheng

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Long time no see! So, this week I decided I was going to finish Carousel of Life. I have twenty-nine written, and half of thirty. The end is in sight. Thank you so much for sticking with me up until this point. <3
> 
> Hope you enjoy this (mostly) fluffy chapter.

“Not Princess Peach for you, Princess?”

Gabriel was out of town that Saturday, and Adrien had the day to himself, so he was lounging in the Dupain-Cheng living room beside his lovely girlfriend, playing video games.

Marinette scoffed and made her character selection. “No offense to Peach, but if I’m going to be a princess, I’d rather be Sheik.”

“Ah. Very suitable.” Adrien nodded in approval. “A warrior princess in disguise.”

Marinette elbowed him gently for the likely reference to her spotted alter-ego (he should tone it down), then called out, “Papa, hurry up! We’re waiting on you!”

Tom bustled out of the kitchen with a platter of croissants. Setting it down, he grabbed his controller and picked his usual, Luigi.

“As soon as this match ends, you can bet I’m gonna  _ inhale  _ those croissants,” Adrien cackled as his avatar gulped down the CPU Sonic and sprouted a blue mohawk.

“Let’s not make it too quick, then—they’re  _ piping  _ hot,” Tom retorted with a hearty guffaw at his own joke.

“You two are insufferable,” Marinette snorted, round-kicking Kirby.

“Hey!” Adrien exclaimed.

“Joking in the middle of battle won’t get you anywhere, Pinky,” Marinette jeered playfully. “You should know that by now.”

“I know better than to think I can beat  _ you, _ Princess.” Adrien’s tone turned coy. “But good luck  _ blocking  _ this one.” He turned into a rock and smashed into Sheik from above.

“Well, that’s sure to put a  _ wrench _ in her victory, my boy,” Tom commented.

Marinette groaned loudly as she waited for her character to regenerate.

“You know you love us, Marinette,” Adrien sang.

“Join us, Marinette,” Tom joined in the taunting, then turned to Adrien conspiratorially. “Wait ‘till she cracks. Marinette _loves _puns. You would’ve loved to be a fly on the wall for some of our epic pun-offs of yore. Legend has it that _no one_ could out-pun her.”

“‘Epic pun-offs of yore’? Seriously, Papa?” Marinette grumbled.

“It’s too late, Marinette—you’ve already shown me your true colors.” Adrien batted his eyes at her.

Marinette used his distraction to promptly hammer Kirby off the arena before leaning in to deposit a kiss on her boyfriend’s nose. “I regret my choices. I didn’t know how big your ego was back then.”

Adrien stole a kiss to her lips before she could retreat. “I’ll forgive that, only because I love you.”

“Sabine!” Tom called out. “They’re being adorable, and you’re missing it!”

Marinette shifted away from Adrien on the couch, cheeks flaming. “Papa!”

“Tom! Please tell me you have your camera out!” Sabine called back from the direction of the bedroom.

—

Twenty minutes later, Tom had left the teens to their own devices to help Sabine begin supper preparations.

“I may have lost every match up until now, but be prepared for a  _ shocking  _ turnaround!” Adrien threatened theatrically, his Pikachu avatar sending lightning bolts across the arena.

“That’s quite impressive, Adrien,” Sabine commented with a chuckle as she looked on from the kitchen. “I didn’t know you liked puns so much. You fit right in with the family.”

Adrien’s heart warmed at the word ‘family,’ a dopey smile gracing his lips.

“Maman, don’t encourage him, he’s been at it since we started,” Marinette whined. “And by ‘family,’ you mean Papa. He’s the only one whose sense of humor is as  _ lame _ as Adrien’s.”

Adrien gasped. “‘Lame’? You’re just pretending not to be bowled over by my  _ electrifying  _ wit.”

“Less talking, more fighting, pretty boy.”

“As the Lady wishes,” Adrien returned nonchalantly, falling silent to focus on the game. He saw Marinette’s head turn sharply in his peripheral vision, and with a sly smile, used the opportunity to land a critical blow on her character.

“Hey!” she cried. “You did that on purpose! Prepare for retaliation!”

Adrien let out a snort of laughter. He loved this. He loved Marinette’s competitiveness, and how she had instantly started pretending to be annoyed by his puns as soon as hints of their alter egos began passing between them.

They still hadn’t acknowledged that they both knew, but he was fine with that for now. His last remaining doubts had all but evaporated. He had been right all along, and now that she had figured him out, too, it had turned into an amusing game instead of a source of agony.

“Whoops, my hand slipped,” Marinette giggled facetiously as Ness batted Pikachu into the sky, and the game ended in her favor yet again. “What were you saying about a turnaround?”

“I just need to  _ Pika _ ‘nother character,” Adrien harrumphed before his fake scowl dissolved into a grin. Let her rebuff his puns and beat him at video games all day—his spirit wouldn’t take a single hit.

She loved him. She knew he was Chat Noir, and his Lady, his Princess, still loved him.

That was the only victory that mattered to him.

—

“So, that time you said you only had photos of me up because you were into fashion… you  _ were  _ lying, weren’t you?” Adrien rested his chin on his hands, lazily perusing the photos above Marinette’s computer. She had put up the photo of the two of them sleeping on the beach, he noted with delight. There were also photos of their friends, some sketches, and some magazine clippings of other models, mostly girls.

Marinette lay a piece of fabric against Adrien’s shoulders and hummed in thought, making pencil markings here and there. “Well… I wasn’t  _ lying,” _ she answered evasively.

“But you weren’t telling the whole truth, were you?”

“I guess not.” She smirked.

Adrien reached backward and took hold of her hand as she started to remove the fabric from his shoulder, and tugged. She got the idea and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, putting them cheek to cheek.

“How long had you liked me?” he asked.

“Since the day you gave me your umbrella,” Marinette answered softly. “That’s when I realized I was completely wrong about you… that you were a sweet boy who cared about doing the right thing, and that you didn’t judge me for judging you.” She turned her head and kissed his cheek.

“Aha!” Adrien exclaimed in a teasing tone, even as he felt heat rise to his cheeks and happiness swell in his heart that this amazing girl had liked him all along. “I fell in love with you  _ first, _ then.”

Marinette froze, then came around to see his face. “Really? That long ago?”

Adrien gazed at her tenderly. “Yeah. It was practically love at first sight.”

Marinette’s eyebrows rose. Did he mean the first akuma fight? She thought Chat Noir had been joking at first and developed feelings for her later. He really loved her from the beginning?

“When I saw you stand up to Chloé…” Adrien pulled her onto his lap. “I thought you were really brave.” He grinned, a twinkle in his eye.

“Chloé?” For a moment, Marinette thought they were finally going to acknowledge what they knew. That they were finally going to have the long-awaited conversation. Now that she and Tikki had talked, she felt that she was ready to face it. Adrenaline surged through her veins at the false alarm.

She had almost forgotten about Chloé that day. Adrien’s remark brought her thoughts back to the first day of school the year she became a superhero. That day had been a turning point in her life in so many ways. She giggled. “You know, it was really all thanks to Alya. I let Chloé push me around for  _ years  _ until she inspired me to push back that day.”

“Our friends are great, aren’t they? I didn’t have many friends until that day, and I was about to get ostracized just for being friends with Chloé, until Nino took me under his wing.” He grinned. “He’s also the one who encouraged me to go talk to you. We should throw them a party.”

“They deserve a party,” Marinette agreed, then pouted. “Sorry for jumping to conclusions about you.”

“Don’t worry. That just made it even more special when you didn’t reject my umbrella. Tsundere charm.” Eyes sparkling with a wide grin, Adrien gave her a smooch on the cheek.

Marinette poked him. “Weeb!”

“Marinette, Adrien!” Sabine’s voice drifted up from below. “Dinner’s ready!”

—

“I love your family,” Adrien sighed happily, letting himself fall into Marinette’s lap on the sofa. He still had the faint taste of sakura on his palate from macarons they had just eaten for dessert. Marinette’s parents had turned in for the night, in preparation for their early wake-up call. “I think today tops my birthday weekend.”

She stroked his hair, overjoyed to see him looking so content. “They love you, too.”

“When we get married, may I have your last name?” Adrien pleaded.

Marinette let out a laugh, deciding to treat the mention of marriage as purely a joke. “Why would you want my last name? ‘Adrien Dupain-Cheng’ doesn’t sound as good as ‘Adrien Agreste.’”

“Nonsense, I think it sounds superb. ‘Adrien Dupain-Cheng,’” he repeated dreamily, eyes fluttering closed as Marinette continued to play with his hair. “Just thinking about it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.”

“Why don’t we hyphenate?” Marinette jested. “Adrien Dupain-Cheng-Agreste.”

Adrien frowned. “I don’t want our children to hate us.”

Marinette blushed at the mention of their children.

Adrien cracked an eye open when she didn’t say anything. “Sorry if I just made it weird.” His cheeks colored. “I was kidding…”

“Really?” Marinette squeaked, maybe a little disappointed.

Adrien bit his lip. “Actually… may I confess something?”

“What is it?” Marinette tangled her fingers in his bangs again.

“I was only half-kidding,” he hummed, hypnotized by her ministrations. “I really do think about our kids sometimes. And our hamster. And our cat.”

Marinette burst out laughing. “A cat! What makes you think we’re going to have a cat? Our poor little hamster will be constantly running in fear.”

“She’ll have her ball for protection, so she’ll be fine,” Adrien reasoned.

Marinette’s mouth fell open in a dramatic expression of horror. “That’s even worse! She’s going to be traumatized when the cat starts batting the ball around the house!”

“But cats are cuddly! We  _ must _ have a cat,” Adrien insisted. “Don’t worry, I’ll train him to be a perfect gentlecat. He’ll even use the toilet.”

Marinette laughed again and tousled his hair more roughly. “Silly—! You and cats. You are _way _too obsessed with cats.”

“Cats are pawsome. They deserve it.” He leaned into her hand.

Marinette watched him fondly, a smile lingering on her lips. His eyes had drifted closed again, and he was very relaxed. It was easy to run her fingers through his hair and admire the lines of his nose, the slightly curled blond eyelashes, the peachy hue of his clear skin.

“I think about our kids, sometimes, too,” Marinette admitted, softly, still feeling the irrational fear that he would think her strange. She had spent so long pining after him one-sidedly, feeling like a creep for stalking him. It was hard to shake her insecurities, but now that she knew the real Adrien, she wanted to put that old self behind her. It was only starting to sink in that he really loved her, and that he would accept every part of herself she chose to share with him.

“Really?” Adrien asked in a low hum.

“Yup. I’ve thought of names… Emma, Hugo, and Louis.” She blushed. “Now I’m the one making it weird, aren’t I?”

“No.” Adrien sat up and hugged her, tipping her chin upward to place a brief, loving kiss on her lips. “Not weird at all. I love you. And I love those names.” He smiled wistfully. “‘Emma’ reminds me of my mom… Émilie.”

“That’s why I picked it,” Marinette murmured, cheeks heating up even more if possible.

“You’re perfect,” Adrien sighed.

Marinette couldn’t believe how easy it was to admit all these things that she had kept to herself, without Adrien teasing or thinking her crazy. Slowly, that feeling of nervousness, that she might cross a line and he wouldn’t accept her anymore, dissolved. After all, hadn’t he been in the same boat as her? She laughed to herself, thinking of how many times Chat Noir had leaned in to kiss her, all his bad pick up lines, how he’d pretended to be so full of himself to hide the fact that he was actually serious.

Now that she knew—and she had no doubt now, after all the clues that he generously kept dropping ever since the photoshoot—she loved him even more than she thought she had before.

“I’m sorry about your mom,” Marinette murmured, wishing she could say something more… thoughtful, more meaningful, more encouraging, just something more.

Adrien shrugged, his expression drooping.

“I hope she comes back.” Marinette put a hand on his cheek. Her words felt weak, but she didn’t know what else to say.

Adrien put his hand over hers and smiled ruefully. “I wish she would, but I’ve been getting used to the idea that she won’t.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well… I’ve been starting to think that… something happened to her.” Adrien looked away, leaning back against the sofa and drawing up his knees. The sensitive topic made him want to curl into himself. He had barely spoken to anyone about his mother since her disappearance, and every time he did, he felt like he was somehow souring the moment with an unhappy topic. “I just can’t believe my mom would disappear and never come back or even try to contact us. She… I  _ thought _ she loved me. You wouldn’t just walk out on someone you love and disappear forever…”

He blinked back tears that welled up unexpectedly at the catharsis of talking about his mom. He didn’t want to spoil this night by crying.

Scooting forward to close the distance between them again, Marinette wrapped her arms around his shoulders, resting her forehead against his temple, sighing. She wished she could do or say something to fix this, but she was powerless. “I could see from the photo of you two that she loved you very much,” was all she could say. “I really hope she’s safe. If you ever want to talk about her… I’m here to listen, okay? Or you don’t have to, if you don’t want to.”

“Thanks, Princess,” he whispered back. It occurred to him that Marinette had never seen a picture of him and his mom together, but Ladybug had.

He slid an arm around her waist and snuggled against her, feeling his grief subside under her comforting touch. Sure, some aspects of his life were still broken and painful… but for the first time ever, he could love without guilt and be loved back—he had friends, and family, and on a deep level, he felt  _ happy. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thank you so much for reading. What did you think?
> 
> I don't know if anyone has noticed, but for most of this fic, I've been alternating perspectives between Marinette and Adrien, but in recent chapters, I've been mixing perspectives and shifting to a more "third-person omniscient" point of view. Is it distracting, or do you feel that it's working / fine? There's a reason I'm doing this, and it is intentional, but I'm just curious how it comes across to the reader.
> 
> As we near the end of the series, is there anything in particular that you're thinking about in this series that you'd like answered or resolved? I'm just curious. I have a plan, but if anyone mentions something that slipped my mind and I agree is important to deal with before the close of the series, I might edit my latter chapters. There are some things that I'm intentionally leaving open-ended, so there's some material that I could use for a sequel eventually (or at least one-shots within the universe) if I feel like it.
> 
> See you next time!


	29. Bien Joué

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien and Marinette come to terms with the realities of knowing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, at the penultimate chapter. ^_^ I hope you like it.

Marinette detransformed behind a tree, and Tikki phased despondently into her purse in search of cookies. She heard her phone chime with the happy ‘Paris is safe once again’ jingle, indicating that the akuma had been taken care of.

It was a relief to see the Place des Vosges in one piece again, without gashes in spacetime creating pockets of gravitational sinking sand—warping and stretching the matter around them so that it seemed to melt like nightmarish taffy, resembling a scene from a Dalí painting.

After taking a moment to catch her breath, back pressed against the tree with the bark biting her skin through her thin cotton shirt, Marinette launched herself off with her elbows and began to walk. The air was eerily quiet aside from the sound of bird calls and insects, as civilians had yet to start coming out of akuma lockdown mode.

The sun on her dark hair felt heavy and warm, seeming to seep into her scalp and tug on the backs of her eyeballs. She could go for a nap right now.

Rapid footsteps crunching the gravel behind her announced the presence of another human being in the park. She whipped around, instantly alert, her reflexes still sharp from battle despite her lethargy.

Her face brightened when she saw who it was. “Oh! Adri—”

“What were you thinking?!” His voice was taut, dry as tinder.

Marinette flinched, taken aback at the veiled ferocity in his tone. His fists were balled, his eyes set with a dangerous, smouldering intensity that scared her a little. “What do you mean?”

“Why the hell would you do that?!” he demanded.

“Do what?” Marinette was honestly confused. She skimmed the events of the battle for what could possibly have upset him, and finding nothing, searched further back to their civilian interactions.

Adrien wiped his eyes on the back of his arm, which called Marinette’s attention to the fact that his cheeks were shiny with tears.

“What did I do?” Marinette inquired, alarmed.

“I was trying to protect you,” he fumed, “and you pushed me out of the way. I saw the Cosmologist’s blade get _ so close— _ he _ cut your hair, Marinette!” _

Surreally calm in contrast to Adrien’s worked-up state, Marinette fingered the tips of her left pigtail, remembering feeling the wind of the magic blade slicing through the air under her ear. It had happened in a split second, and didn’t register as a critical moment in her mind until now. “Calm down, Adrien… I’m fine, my hair’s back to normal.”

She reached out a hand to touch his shoulder, or something, anything to help him relax, but he caught it in mid-air and held it tightly. He was shaking and his palms were sweaty.

“This is not about your hair!” he rasped, enunciating each word as tears streamed down his cheeks.

“Nothing happened to me,” Marinette murmured, making a point to lower her voice as a hint that they shouldn’t be having this conversation so loudly in a public place, even if there weren’t many people out. “And plus, you do it all the time.”

“I’m _ supposed _ to do it all the time!” Adrien protested in a hiss.

Marinette glared, feeling only a little guilty but a lot indignant that he was actually daring to argue that he should have gotten sliced in half by the akuma. “You really don’t have to!” she argued. “There are other options, you know! Like maybe getting us _ both _to safety instead of just offering yourself up as a sacrifice! If you weren’t going to do it responsibly, someone had to!”

“There wasn’t much time to think! I couldn’t let you get hit, that’s all I was concerned with at the time!”

Frustration pricked Marinette’s heart. Her inner calm was quickly crumbling. “That’s the problem, you don’t think ahead! How do you think I’d feel seeing you _ die?! _You think I could’ve fought with a level head after that?”

_ “I’m _ not the one who wasn’t thinking ahead,” Adrien whispered tersely, stepping closer so Marinette wouldn’t have any trouble hearing him despite his lowered voice. “What you did was too risky. What would have happened if you’d gotten hit? Who would have repaired the rips in space-time and prevented this entire universe from unraveling? What would we do then? Sorry, Bugaboo—I can only destroy things, not fix them. So you’d better get used to the idea of seeing me die more often, because between the two of us, _ you’re _the only one who can bring people back from the dead.”

Marinette felt like an iron fist had closed around her heart and squeezed. He was right, and she hated it. She pressed her free hand over her eyes, at a loss for words as reality hit her like a blow to the gut. It was bad enough seeing what Chat Noir had to put himself through when she _ didn’t _ know he was Adrien.

“Knowing it’s me shouldn’t change anything,” she heard him say, in a much softer tone than before. “I have my role in battle, and you have to let me fulfill it. Okay?”

Marinette grit her teeth, unable to answer.

Adrien’s grip on her hand loosened, then he let go. Defensively, she brought it to join her other hand on her face. She didn’t want anyone to see her cry—not Adrien, and not the citizens in the park—but she couldn’t hold it back until she could get somewhere private. 

Ever-so-gently, Adrien’s arms folded around her shoulders, and he pulled her close, applying soft pressure against the back of her head until she relaxed against his collarbone.

She gave in to the tears, listening to the steady pounding of his heartbeat as he rubbed her back.

“Sorry for yelling… I was upset." His voice was warm and smooth as honeyed tea.

“I don’t want you to get hurt for me,” she whimpered feebly. “And I hate watching you die. I hate that I can even say something as horrible as that. What kind of torture is it that I have to watch you die over and over again? I _ hate _ Hawkmoth.”

“Pretend it’s just a dream,” he murmured against her hair.

The words made her sick. She didn’t like the idea of tricking herself into thinking that the boy she loved wasn’t being extinguished from existence every time she saw him disappear, or that the pain he suffered during battle wasn’t real just because she had the power to undo it. She didn’t want to be _ desensitized _to what Adrien had to go through. “Maybe I don’t want to do that.”

“What choice do we have? This is what we have to deal with.”

Marinette didn’t answer. She hugged Adrien tighter. She’d rather die a hundred times than watch him die once, even if she knew she could bring him back.

(She understood now, what Chat Noir had meant that time he came to her asking what to do about Ladybug, when he’d explained how difficult it was to separate his love for her with his willingness to die for her.)

“You okay?” Adrien asked in a hushed tone, all the fire gone from his voice.

Marinette nodded and brought a hand up to wipe her eyes and nose. “I’m sorry… you’re right, I was rash.”

“Maybe we should talk to our kwamis about this,” he suggested. “They’ve seen a lot, and maybe they have some advice.”

Marinette nodded again. “Good idea…”

Still pressed into his chest, she heard a fluctuation in his heartbeat as they stayed like that a moment longer. Then he spoke again, soft as velvet. “I _ love _you, my Ladybug.”

The words hung in the air. The wall of feigned ignorance between them had clearly broken down long ago, but they’d been in the heat of an argument. Now, they were both keenly aware of what they were doing and what this meant.

“My Chat Noir…” Leaning into his ear as she said it, she pressed a kiss into the junction between his earlobe and his neck and felt him sigh. “I love you, so much… and as much as it scares me to know you’re the one who keeps throwing yourself in danger for me, I’m so happy it’s been you all along.”

Adrien turned his head to nose her bangs, and she saw that he was smiling faintly. “Me too, Bugaboo. I feel the same way.” Leaning in to kiss the tears off her cheeks one by one, he gazed at her tenderly for a long moment, heart swirling with affection and amazement that the girl he loved was willing to risk her life for him. As much as the thought sickened him that she’d actually do it, he treasured the sentiment. “This may seem inappropriate, but can I get something out of my system?”

Marinette looked up at him inquisitively.

With an impish grin, he bent his knees to lift her by the waist and spin her around giddily. “It’s you, it’s you, it’s _you! You’re_ my Lady!” he laughed, then set her down and planted a hard kiss on her forehead. “Wow, it feels _so _good to say that! I knew it all along! My brilliant, beautiful, sweet, adorable love—of _course _it had to be you.”

It was hard to remain upset when Adrien’s face was shining with joy and laughter and he was showering her with praise in such an innocently punch-drunk way. Soon, Marinette was laughing, too. Standing on tiptoes, she draped her arms around his neck and met his lips with hers. “It does feel good, doesn’t it?” she sighed contentedly. “We’ll be okay, won’t we?”

“Aren’t we always?” Adrien pulled back a bit and held out his fist.

Giggling, Marinette tapped it with hers.

—

Marinette sat cross-legged on Adrien’s couch, and Adrien sat beside her, elbows on his knees. Both gave their rapt attention to the small, red kwami hovering in mid-air before them, stern expression on her face.

“I’ll have you know, Adrien, I was against this from the beginning. Fighting against miraculous holders is dangerous enough, and throwing teenage romance into the equation makes the situation much more risky.” Tikki’s sweet voice was tight with forced firmness, as if she were trying to underline the graveness of the words coming out of her mouth.

“I understand,” Adrien nodded responsibly.

“But what’s done is done, and all we can do is move forward. Now that you know one another’s identities, you’ll need to be more united than ever,” Tikki lectured, slowly pacing the airspace before the two, like a drill sergeant giving a briefing. “If you want this to work, you’ll have to strengthen one another, not weaken. You should consider yourselves as one unit, neither complete without the other. Any rift in your relationship could be the chink in your armor that causes you fail.”

“Remember the Heroes day fight?” Tikki paused in the air and slowly looked each of them in the eye.

They both thought back to that day and nodded.

“Why did Carapace and Rena Rouge fall?” Tikki quizzed.

“Rena protected Carapace and got hit by Dislocoeur, then Carapace panicked,” Marinette answered, fully aware of how that must have upset Nino’s psyche.

Adrien looked at her in confusion, feeling like he was missing the point, but Tikki moved on.

“And what about Queen Bee?”

Ah. This one, Adrien knew the answer to. “Hawkmoth brought in her family,” he chipped in.

“Right. We had extra miraculous holders brought in because the fight was going to be too much for you two to handle on your own, but the whole support team fell when people they loved were threatened or involved. They became Hawkmoth’s tools, and you ended up having to fight them, too. Now do you understand how dangerous it is to be emotional during a fight? Love can be a weakness if you lose sight of your goal.”

“But it can also be a strength,” Marinette murmured, thinking painfully of how Chat exhausted himself to protect her.

“Yes,” Tikki conceded. “That’s why you need to cultivate your relationship, so you can work together seamlessly… and always _ communicate. _ If you let something stay unresolved between you two and it clutters your minds during battle, it’ll be a distraction.”

They nodded.

“The magic you’re dealing with is much more powerful than you,” Tikki warned. “You need to be careful with your emotions, and keep them reigned in while wielding the miraculous. In the Han Dynasty, a Ladybug and Chat Noir who were secret lovers ended up killing one another in the heat of passion.”

“Wow, _ that _ escalated quickly,” Adrien muttered under his breath.

Tikki’s eyes narrowed on him.

“Sorry.” He raised his hands, palms out. “I didn’t mean to make light. No disrespect intended. Go on, Tikki.”

“Always consider the big picture and the strategy behind your actions; don’t just get caught up in the moment,” Tikki continued, as if going down a mental list of points she wanted to hit.

Adrien turned slightly, eyes flicking to meet Marinette’s.

She returned his look, practically reading the ‘See?’ in his mind, but at least he had the grace to look sorry about it.

Feeling ill at the thought, she looked away, internalizing that she’d have to get used to the idea of using her boyfriend as a human shield.

“That,” Tikki snapped, tiny hands on her hips. “What just went on between you now. None of _ that _ during battle, do you understand? You can’t make it about _ you _ when you’re fighting against Hawkmoth.”

“Give it a rest, Sugarcube,” Plagg drawled through a mouthful of cheese from his spot on the coffee table. “They’re not on the battlefield now. Let them be human.”

“I’m just making a point, _ Stinky Sock,” _ Tikki countered.

“It’s because she loves you,” Plagg explained to Adrien and Marinette on Tikki’s behalf. “Right, Sugarcube?”

Tikki’s eyes softened as she seemed to realize maybe she was being too harsh. “Of course I do. Adrien, Marinette… I care about you _ very much _ and I want you to be safe. I want you to understand that this isn’t a game, and there could be terrible consequences for any wrong step. But you know that I love and support you both wholeheartedly, don’t you?”

“Of course we do, Tikki.” Marinette smiled, and Tikki flew over to nuzzle her cheek, then Adrien’s as he echoed Marinette’s sentiment.

“Thank you, Tikki.” Adrien rubbed her head affectionately with his fingers as she gave him a cheek-hug. “We appreciate the tips.”

“One last thing,” Tikki added, sobering up a little from the mini love-fest. “Please exercise caution. It’s important that you keep acting the same as always when the miraculous are activated. Chat Noir’s flirting, and everything—try to keep your dynamic the same as it’s always been. Hawkmoth can sense emotions, so he may be able to intuit that something has changed between you if you aren’t careful.”

Adrien threw Marinette a mischievous look, amused that Tikki was basically instructing him to flirt.

“And even though you both know, you still need to keep your personal and superhero lives strictly separate, to avoid inadvertently dropping clues that could tip off others, especially Hawkmoth.”

Both teens nodded.

“Anything to add, Plagg?”

“No canoodling while you’re suited up,” Plagg snickered. “Human love is so _ gross.” _

_ “Plagg!” _ Adrien cried, appalled, as Marinette’s cheeks prickled with heat.

Later, once the lecture was over and the kwamis’ attention was elsewhere, Marinette wove her fingers between Adrien’s and vowed, “I won’t let you down.”

No matter how many times she had to watch him die, she was determined to bring him back. _ Love is going to make me stronger, _ she decided.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hello. Thank you for reading!
> 
> As weird as it may be to say, this chapter... is actually quite personal for me. I was in a similar situation.
> 
> Thoughts? Impressions?
> 
> I don't think I'll be ready to post the final chapter tomorrow, but you can look forward to it Thursday or Friday. Cheerio!


	30. Us Against the World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien, Marinette, Alya, and Nino go on a double date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand here we are, the final chapter! I hope you enjoy. Thank you so much for coming along with me on this journey. <3

“So, _ water _we gonna check out first?” Adrien draped himself over Marinette’s shoulder to inspect the directory.

“The reef exhibit!” Alya exclaimed enthusiastically. “I’ve been researching them for my aquarium blog, and this one’s supposed to be the biggest, most diverse reef aquarium in Europe.”

“You started _ another _ new blog?” Marinette asked incredulously.

“Well, since my dad got the twins a reef tank for their birthday—guess who’s taking care of it, by the way?—I’ve been documenting all the updates, and I’ve gotten kinda hooked.” Alya tapped and swiped her phone screen a few times. “Just sent it to you! You know you wanna subscribe.”

“You should check out the picture of the banded frogfish she posted yesterday… it looks _ crazy,” _Nino remarked as they set off toward the saltwater tanks. “But I kinda love it. I think it’s my favorite.”

“Hold up, crew,” Alya stopped them with an outstretched arm then whipped out her camera app. The ladybug charm swung cheerfully as she held up her phone and cracked a smile. “Selfie time. Say _ reeeef!” _

—

“Iiiiiiiii haaaaave a suggestioooooon,” Adrien warbled in slow glissandos as they made their way through the saltwater exhibit.

“What’s your suggestion?” Marinette crossed her arms and quirked an inquisitive brow at his peculiar manner of speaking.

“Whyyyy doooooon’t we viiiiiiisit the whaaaaales neeeeext?” he added in the same glacial, swooping tones.

Alya and Nino took notice of his bizarre voice from several meters away and shot him odd looks.

“… You watched [Finding Nemo](https://youtu.be/jJGeeryk0Eo?t=44) in preparation for this outing,” Marinette concluded dryly.

_ “Gill _-ty as charged,” Adrien admitted in a chipper tone.

Continuing to watch him with soft fondness, Marinette let out a little laugh.

He took notice of her faraway expression. “Something on your mind, Princess?”

“Yeah.” Marinette unfolded her arms and took Adrien’s hand—fingers interwoven, palms touching. “Just thinking that… you’ve changed.”

“Changed?” He looked slightly concerned, remembering Tikki’s words from the day before. “I hope that’s not a bad thing.”

“It’s not a bad thing at all,” Marinette hummed. “You just seem more… carefree. I was just thinking back to a month or two ago, before the play, when things were still sort of awkward between us. I don’t think you’d ever act so silly. I would have _ never _suspected—you know.”

Adrien watched a clown fish nose about in its anemone bed, silently self-reflecting as he swung Marinette’s hand back and forth. They walked at a leisurely pace, several meters behind Alya and Nino, so they could have their private conversation.

“I guess you’re right,” he agreed after a little while. “I used to feel like I was acting out a role everywhere I went… whether it was school, or modeling, or fencing, or even just hanging out with friends, I felt like I was trying to be whatever people expected of me. The only time I didn’t feel like that was when I was…” He hesitated, then gestured vaguely in the air. “… _ you know… _ and I could do whatever I wanted, and sort of invent my own role. I don’t remember when I stopped feeling like I was acting as myself, but… yeah, I don’t anymore.”

Marinette squeezed his hand. “That sounds like a good thing.”

He smiled at her. “Definitely a good thing.” He lifted her hand and kissed the back of it. “It’s probably thanks to you.”

Marinette blushed. She didn’t know what to say to that, but there was no need for an answer. They walked peacefully, hand-in-hand, watching the tropical fish pass by in swarms of aimless determination.

“What made you start suspecting I was her?” Marinette asked softly, only a little louder than the hum of the tanks.

The answer to that question made Adrien smile. “I wish I could say it was the fact that you were the two most resourceful girls I knew, or that I’d noticed you always disappeared when there was an akuma, or that your hair and eyes look exactly the same, but…” he snorted. “It was actually something really trivial.”

“Oh?” Marinette was very curious.

“Yeah. That day I got you flowers and put them on your desk, and you tripped onto me? You said you were ‘madly clumsy.’”

She blinked, uncomprehending at first.

“That’s how you introduced yourself to me the first time we met.” He waggled his eyebrows. “Remember?”

Realization dawned on Marinette. “Ohhhhh…”

“—I just realized. You were about to introduce yourself as ‘Marinette,’ weren’t you?” Adrien’s face broke into a delighted grin. “Did your kwami not explain about secret identities?”

“…Shut up. I had no idea what I was doing—the yo-yo literally yanked me right off my balcony and next thing I knew, I was crashing into a stranger wearing a ridiculous catsuit. What did you expect?” Marinette babbled in her defense.

“You are _ adorable.” _ Adrien kissed her hand again, unfazed by the comment about the catsuit.

“Anyway, you’re the one who wasted your Cataclysm on a soccer goal!” Marinette countered, not to be defeated.

Adrien leaned into her ear. “As much as I love this conversation, we _ probably _ shouldn’t be having it here.”

“Right.” Marinette’s cheeks colored at her mistake. “Sorry for bringing it up.”

“Anyway, I’ve realized that I’m an idiot,” Adrien declared, changing the topic. “I mean, I probably looked like an utter fool giving you those flowers and claiming you were just a friend. I’m _ paw-_sitive I was already in love with you back then and just didn’t know it.”

“You were not,” Marinette insisted. “You were so obsessed with _ that other girl, _I probably barely registered as female to you.”

“Um, that is _ not true,” _ Adrien protested in a wounded tone. “I _ definitely _ noticed you, as a _ cute girl.” _ His cheeks warmed at the admission. He always _ had _found Marinette distractingly pretty. “Plus, I’d already kissed you by then.”

Marinette gasped as she realized. “Three times!”

The memory of their ‘friend date’ and the discussion of their parallel Three Uncounted Kisses flooded back to Adrien’s mind, and he slapped his forehead with his palm. “Confirmed—we are _ both _ idiots.”

Marinette giggled into his shoulder.

—

Adrien hooked Marinette’s arm in his own and pulled her into the alcove of a utility door between two shark tanks.

“Hey, Princess.” He thumbed her cheekbone, admiring the reflections of the shimmering water in her cerulean irises. “Just wanted to remind you that I love you.”

“I don’t think I could forget, with you ‘reminding’ me every ten minutes…” As she smiled softly, Marinette noticed his eyes lingering on her lips and got the hint, standing on tiptoes to close the distance between them. “… I love you too, my Prince.”

He ducked his head for another quick kiss before they noticed they weren’t alone.

“Alya!” Marinette protested, extending her palm to cover Alya’s phone camera lens. “That is _ rude!” _

“Just making sure you two are behaving and playing nice, because you’re my precious friends and I care about you.” Alya grinned.

“And you couldn’t resist taking a photo? You’re just as bad as my parents!” Marinette grumbled. “Why am I surrounded by nosy people?”

“Let her watch if she wants.” Adrien pulled Marinette in, dipping her as he kissed her in the most romantic way possible.

“Ooh la la!” Alya took a photo, then another, but when her friends didn’t break their pose, she stuck out her tongue and made a playful gagging noise. “Ugh, you guys are too much! Way to make me feel weird—but I get it, I'm intruding. See you when you catch up!” She gave a jaunty wave.

When she had gone off down the corridor to rejoin Nino, Marinette and Adrien broke apart, snickering, and bumped their fists together.

—

The akuma alert went off when they were getting seated for the dolphin show.

Marinette silenced the alert on her phone as soon as she felt it begin to buzz, and noticed that Adrien had done the same—but their attempts to mask the alarm were in vain as the phones of every other person in the arena went off at the same time.

Great. It was a local akuma. Now it was going to be harder not looking suspicious that they had to immediately duck out.

“Hey, Alya, I’m just gonna go to the bathroom really quickly,” Marinette muttered to her friend, jabbing a thumb toward the exit.

“Now? Hurry up, girl,” Alya urged absent mindedly as she skimmed the alert briefing. “I might not even stay for the show—the akuma’s two blocks away. If it comes any closer, you bet I’m gonna try to snag some footage.”

“Be careful, Alya,” Marinette warned.

“Err, I’m going to the bathroom too,” Adrien interjected awkwardly, raising one hand.

“Dude, you guys don’t have to hide it.” Nino threw a light punch to Adrien’s arm. “Alya and I totally get wanting to play some Super Penguino. Weird timing, but who’s gonna judge? Not us…right, Babe?”

“What?! Nino!” Adrien’s jaw dropped. “It’s not—well—”

And then he realized this might actually be a useful alibi. He rubbed the back of his neck, feeling a little flustered about what Nino must be thinking, but no longer trying to deny it.

“Your girl’s leaving, Agreste.” Alya lifted her eyebrows suggestively, giving a little nod in the direction of Marinette side-stepping spectators’ knees to escape the bleachers.

Adrien grinned sheepishly. “Bye!” He took off after Marinette.

—

“They think we’re… _ canoodling, _ to use Plagg’s terminology,” Adrien murmured.

They’d found a secluded video screening booth on the way to the bathroom, and it was as good a place as any, with the added perk that they could transform together instead of splitting up.

“… which is embarrassing, but… since we’re already here…”

He didn’t have to finish the thought before Marinette pressed him up against the wall, lips colliding with his.

“Yeah, yeah, get it all out before you transform,” Plagg jeered over Adrien’s shoulder.

Adrien ignored him and deepened the kiss, running his fingers through Marinette’s silky hair.

“Remember to act the same as always,” Tikki cautioned gently, emerging from Marinette’s purse.

“Mmhm,” Marinette dazedly broke away from Adrien and attempted to collect her senses. “Ready, my love?”

Adrien nodded and took a steadying breath. “Ready.”

“You know, it feels so much more pure knowing that we’ve only been kissing one another this whole time,” Marinette laughed. “That it’s just been just us all along.”

“Right? Us against the world… as always.” Adrien smirked and pulled her closer.

“The akuma,” Marinette reminded him, though tempted.

“Of course,” Adrien breathed. “But there’s something I’ve always wanted to try.”

“Ah…” Marinette comprehended as Adrien nuzzled her nose with his. A smile blossomed on her face. “Tikki… spots on.”

“Claws out.”

As their lips met again, they felt the magic rush over them from head to toe, the material of the suits wrapping the skin of their fingers between their intertwined hands. When they opened their eyes, they were mask-to-mask.

“Miraculous,” Ladybug whispered in a playful tone.

“Well, I can check that one off my bucket list.” Chat Noir winked. “Shall we, Milady?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap! Thank you so much for reading! I hope you liked it. Let me know your thoughts and impressions. ^_^
> 
> By the way, I decide to treat Super Penguino as a slightly fourth-wall-breaking inside joke euphemism for making out. :P
> 
> It's been almost exactly a year since I started writing this story. (I say "almost exactly" because I think I started writing it about a week before April First, but can't remember the exact date.) Finishing this story is like saying goodbye to an old friend. ^_^ However, I'm really excited to work on future projects.
> 
> Besides my lighthearted drabble series that I haven't finished yet (the [Ladrien secret dating fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22163848/chapters/52909300) and the [Love Polygon shenanigans fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22930108/chapters/54809794)), I'll be working on finishing and touching up Nowhere Else to Go, to post on AO3. It's a Marichat / post-reveal emotional study, but I feel like the way I wrote it at first (there are twelve chapters already written and posted on my [YouTube channel](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLInlTrZshMS0iwcazwl0NiJ2AvAgCiwK6)) doesn't fully capture in text the emotional nuances that I want, since I was deliberately relying on my background music choices to help set the emotional mood. I've also gotten better at dialogue since then (I hope), so I feel like I need to smooth it out and whip it into shape before it's worthy of posting in text-only format.
> 
> I'll also be working on [Broken Fugue](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21782932/chapters/51976702). And I'll allow myself to write my [Lukadrien soulmate AU](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22729840/chapters/54315478) once I finish Nowhere Else To Go. Much to do, and much to think about.
> 
> Until we meet again!
> 
> —
> 
> Reference:  
Dory "speaking whale" in Finding Nemo: https://youtu.be/jJGeeryk0Eo?t=44

**Author's Note:**

> This work existed first as a podfic (audio narrated fanfiction with background music). In case anyone wants to check it out (and in case I haven't put enough links, heh):  
[Listen to the Audio Series](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLInlTrZshMS2qA8L7x3rcUue_TMQgXxKy) | [Find me on Tumblr](https://mireilletan.tumblr.com)


End file.
